Sara
Daniel didn’t like me.
I was so excited to meet Zef’s famous little brother, but the moment he set his eyes on me, I could see the dislike hidden behind his polite smile.
Either Zef didn’t notice or was ignoring it, and that was upsetting.
I knew that it wasn’t anything that I’d said, because I hadn’t gotten much further than ‘hello’. So it must be the fact that I was obviously pregnant.
I could see it from his point of view. Some knocked up chick had her claws into his brother, even though another guy was the father. I knew how it looked. I knew.
Tears pricked my eyes as Zef stood next to me holding my hand. Family was so important to him. He had his carnie family, but Daniel was his flesh and blood. I couldn’t compete with that. So I stood by his side, trying to smile when I felt like falling apart inside.
I saw Daniel’s eyes widen as Zef pulled me closer and reached down absentmindedly to stroke my stomach. I was hoping that Daniel wouldn’t say anything, but he did.
“Something you want to tell me, big brother? Am I getting three for the price of two at my wedding?”
Zef gave an easy laugh.
“Nah, you’re good. Sara’s baby isn’t due until January.”
He said it so easily, so proudly: Sara’s baby.
At that moment, with Zef holding my hand, I felt incredibly alone.
“You know what, I’m really tired,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’ll just let you guys catch up a while.”
Zef was immediately concerned.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m fine. Really. It’s just been a long day. Visit with your brother. Just . . . don’t worry about our date—we can do it another time.”
Zef’s eyes lit up, and I felt guilty and pleased that he was so happy to think about taking me on a date. I’d felt awkward saying it in front of his brother whose disapproving looks had left me feeling queasy.
Was I such a bad person to want Zef even though another man had fathered my child? Was I so awful?
I walked back to the RV trying not to cry.
Zef
Daniel gave me a tight smile as I watched Sara walk away.
“So, I’m guessing you’re not the father since you said this was new.”
It wasn’t a question.
“No.”
“Isn’t that a problem for you?”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Nope. The father isn’t around.”
“I see that. She moved on pretty fast.”
I felt my temper start to ignite.
“You don’t know anything about her, Dan. Tread carefully.”
Dan looked surprised and angry, and for a moment I thought we were going to have a problem, but then he shrugged and gave an easy smile that didn’t meet his eyes.
“Whatever floats your boat, brother.”
I decided that he just needed some time to get to know Sara. It didn’t help that she’d caught his vibes and hightailed it back to the RV. But I’d have some time to talk about it with Sara tomorrow.
We stood in front of the massive bonfire that we’d built earlier this morning. Kes ignored all the health and safety bullshit as Zach looked on, shaking his head. But then Zach grinned in defeat and started helping.
When Kes had set it alight, breathing fire from a massive torch, the bonfire was over six feet high. It was burning brightly, red and yellow flames licking at the dark sky.
Ollo came and sat down between me and Dan and passed on his congratulations.
“You’re invited, Ollo,” Dan said easily, turning to read his lips. “I gotta count on you to make sure Zef buys us a decent wedding gift.”
Ollo gave a lopsided grin and shook his face.
“Nah, thanks all the same. I’ll stay here with Bo. Someone’s gotta look after the place. Bunch of grifters, carnies.”
Dan glanced at him in surprise, then turned to me, but I gave him a look and shook my head.
He caught the hint, but wasn’t backing down.
“Ollo, dude. You think I don’t know, that I don’t get it? You think there are times when I know that I’ve missed the joke or realize that someone’s been razzing on me or making me the butt of a joke? I know what it’s like.”
Ollo nodded slowly.
“Sure, and I appreciate it. But you can pass.”
We both looked down. Dan had a disability and it had changed his life, but he could pass for what people called normal. Ollo couldn’t.
It was an old argument, so we let it alone.
Dan went back to his hotel where the rest of the team was staying and I headed for Sara’s room.
I hadn’t been invited, but I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to talk to her. I knocked on her door lightly and opened it.
I could tell that she wasn’t asleep although I think she’d have liked me to believe it. She was resting on her side, her arms cradling her stomach.
“How you doin’, baby mama?”
She shrugged one, narrow shoulder.
“Today kinda sucked.”
I sat on the bed next to her, close but not touching.
I stroked her shoulder, enjoying being able to reach out and touch her at last, relishing the feel of tan, satiny skin as I brushed my work-roughened fingers along her arm.
“I’ve been hanging with Madam Sylva,” I said quietly. “So I’m bettin’ I can read your mind and guess your answer to my next question.”
She gave a quiet giggle.
“Read away! I’m so tired, my mind is a blank page right now.”
I carried on stroking her skin, watching tiny shivers send goosebumps across her arm.
“You seemed upset earlier at the bonfire, but I’m guessing that when I ask you how you really are, you’ll say that you’re fine. Am I right?”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“That . . . that’s cheating!”
“What’s wrong, Sara?”
There was a long pause, and next door I could hear Kes and Aimee’s murmured voices as they settled in for the night. Tucker always stayed at Tera’s when were in Pomona.
“I don’t think your brother likes me,” she said at last, her voice soft as air.
“He doesn’t know you.”
“No, that’s what I mean. He just looked at Peanut and decided that I was . . . I was . . .”
“Ssh, he doesn’t think that.”
She huffed out an unhappy laugh.
“I’m pretty sure he does.”
I sighed, knowing that she was right.
“He’ll get over it.”
“Will he? Because I’m not so sure. He just sees a skank who got knocked up and has gotten her claws into his big brother!”
Her body was full of tension, so I crawled alongside her on the bed and pulled her into my arms.
“He’s looking out for me,” I whispered into her hair. “That’s all. When he sees how amazing you are, he’ll change his mind. Or maybe I’ll kick his ass. Whichever comes first.”
She was silent for a few more seconds.
“He’s your family. He’s important.”
“Yeah, and you’re my family, too. You and Peanut.”
She gave a little hiccupping sob, but she didn’t cry.
We fell asleep in each other’s arms, and it was good.
I woke up once to find that Bo had climbed into bed with us and was curled up between us on the pillow.
When I opened my eyes the next day, I felt more rested than I had for weeks.
We were both fully dressed and enjoyed a few precious moments of holding each other before the day began.
“I owe you a date,” I said, gently pushing her hair out of her eyes.
“A VIP box at a big football game qualifies,” she smiled.
“I had something a little more private in mind.”
She blushed and looked down.
“I didn’t mean . . .”
She shook her head quickly.
“I want to, Zef, but . . .”
I kissed her forehead and reluctantly rolled out of bed.
“When you’re ready, baby mama.”
We’d canceled our Thursday evening show so we could drive the twenty-something miles to the stadium at Hollywood Park where Dan was playing in his pre-season game against the Los Angeles Chargers.
Since we couldn’t all squeeze in Zach’s truck, I decided to do it big and arranged for a limo service to take us. Not that Ollo was coming, of course.
“Wowee!” laughed Tucker. “Who are you tryin’ to impress, or is that a dumb question, Zef?”
“All your questions are dumb,” I answered evenly.
“You walked right into that, mothertucker,” Kes said comfortably.
“They’re mean ‘cause I’m so damn funny,” Tucker whined, looking to Tera for support.
She patted his arm. “Darling, you keep telling yourself that.”
Zach laughed loudly and Luke just grinned.
There was a bar in the back of the limo and I’d ordered a bottle of champagne to be put on ice, and various sodas for the pregnant and abstainers.
Tucker had one glass of champagne and Tera had about three, which made her pretty damn funny; Luke and Zach shared the rest. Kes never drank alcohol, and I was keeping dry, but Sara was eyeing the champagne longingly.
“Just a sip?” she pleaded.
“Nope, not even a sip,” I said, passing her a 7 Up. “Alcohol crosses from your bloodstream through the placenta directly into Peanut’s blood.”
Seven sets of eyes turned to stare at me, and even the driver was pretending not to watch through his rearview mirror.
“What? I read it online,” I said defensively. “Anyway, she’s not old enough to drink.”
Tucker shook his head, grinning, and pulled Tera closer.
Kes just looked annoyed. “You’re making me look bad,” he hissed, flicking the side of my head.
Sara held my hand tightly and kissed me on the cheek.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I nodded and looked out of the window. Why everyone was making such a big deal about it, I had no freakin’ clue.
As we arrived at the stadium, streams of people were heading toward the long lines waiting to enter, and the vast parking lots glittered with thousands of cars parked in rows.
Dan had arranged for us to use the VIP entrance, so we had no trouble getting in.
We were led up through the long tunnels to a luxury suite overlooking the jewel green field and the best seats in the house.
As well as a bar, there were wait staff wearing white shirts and bow ties to ready to get us anything we needed.
There were family members from other players, as well, and I knew a couple of them. I felt a little edgy around people from Georgia. Although Dan and I were from Savannah, I’d done a few drug deals in Atlanta back in the day, and I always aware that I could run into a former client, which would be awkward in so many ways. I told myself that I looked a lot different since I’d grown the beard, but still, I searched faces for any flicker of recognition.
When I found none—other than football connections—I relaxed.
I thought Sara might feel overwhelmed, but she shone with happiness, bouncing around the room and talking to everyone as if she was on a sugar rush. But she wasn’t—it was all her.
It was good to see her so light.
Lisanne was there looking far more indie chick then when I’d first met her. She’d dyed her mousy brown hair in red and blonde streaks, and was rocking leather pants and a Number Two shirt with ‘Colton’ on it.
She wasn’t my biggest fan which was my fault, but she was really sweet to Sara, and I was grateful for that.
We watched Dan setting the field alight and cheered ourselves hoarse. When he scored the winning touchdown, we were escorted several flights down to the field, yelling with the rest of the fans.
There were TV cameras at the sideline and several reporters, along with Pam Oliver for Fox. She recognized me from the previous times we’d met at games and came over to chat. She was a big Falcons fan, being from Atlanta, although completely impartial when she was doing her sideline reporting.
“Your brother is going to have an amazing season if he can hold that form,” she confided to me. “Play-offs and more—he could go all the way.”
“Of course he could. He’s a Colton.”
She laughed easily and I introduced her to Kes and the others. She knew all about the Daredevils, although I shouldn’t have been surprised—she took her research very seriously.
“Any plans for trying to take back your World Record?” she asked Kes with interest.
Aimee looked tense as Kes shrugged.
“I haven’t decided. Robbie Maddison’s 346 feet jump is pretty awesome, but I heard that Alex Harvill is going to try and top 400, maybe even 425.”
“You’re not tempted to try?”
I could see the gleam of challenge in Kes’s eyes, but then he glanced at Aimee’s pale face.
“No, ma’am. I’m going to be a father in a few months. My wife would kick my ass if I broke my back again.”
Pam chuckled.
“That’s a shame. I would have paid good money to see you regain the title. What about the rest of you? Well, obviously not you, Zef, as it looks as though another little Daredevil will be making an appearance soon,” and she smiled at Sara.
Sara flushed beet red and looked miserable. I slung my arm around her and pulled her in tightly.
“That’s right. I have other responsibilities now.”
Pam smiled and carried on chatting with the others.
“It’s okay, baby mama,” I whispered to Sara.
“How is it okay? How are you okay with any of it?” she asked unhappily.
“Because one day I’m going to be this kid’s father.”
Her mouth dropped open, astonishment and confusion warring with pleasure on her face.
I could see that she had a ton more questions behind those perfect pink lips, so I kissed her instead.
It worked.
And crazy as it may have seemed, I’d started to think of Peanut as my kid. I’d been around him for all but the first eight weeks of his young life. I’d cared for Sara and looked out for her, and I was with her in every possible way.
Just then Dan shook himself free of his fans and came loping across the field, all eyes were on him as we cheered, clapped and yelled. I smiled to myself when he ignored everyone and swept Lisanne into a kiss that made her breathless, plastering his sweaty body against her much smaller one. My little brother had moves.
I knew how he was feeling—the adrenaline of scoring, the rush of winning, the feeling that your insides were on fire, all poured into wanting to screw the brains out of your woman. Yeah, I definitely knew that feeling.
Pam edged in next to him as they came up for air and started her interview. She’d obviously forgotten that he was deaf, because she began talking before he was facing her and he wasn’t wearing his cochlear implant.
When she realized her mistake, she quickly apologized. He gave her his trademark smirk, the one that wet women’s panties regularly, even though only one woman warmed his bed these days.
It made me realize how similar we were: how he’d been before he met Lisanne, never spending more than one night with a woman in case they despised him for being deaf; but he’d changed so much, and I just hoped that my relationship with Sara would be as good as the one he had with Lisanne. Although I reckon we’d jumped a few steps along the way seeing as Peanut would be making an appearance in January.
It occurred to me that Dan didn’t know about the old friend I’d run into a couple of months back, and I knew I should tell him. Just in case.
As the team left the field, we went back to the suite and the party was on. We stayed until Sara was falling asleep on a couch and Aimee’s eyelids were drooping. Tucker and Tera had disappeared for thirty minutes only to reappear grinning and disheveled.
It wasn’t easy to pry Dan away from his fans for a moment, especially with Lisanne clamped to his side, but I managed it a couple of hours later.
“What’s up?” Dan asked, puzzled.
I switched to sign language.
Zef: I forgot to tell you last night. But I ran into Roy up in Washington state.
Dan: I bet that didn’t go well.
Zef: No, he was pretty pissed at me. Things were getting ugly but Ollo and the guys helped out. Otherwise I’d be missing a few teeth now, and probably not be walking or talking.
Dan: That bad?
Zef: When I testified to get my sentence reduced, it put him in the shit with some bad people. He wasn’t happy.
Dan turned to look for Lisanne, his worried eyes scanning the room until he found her.
Zef: He’s got no reason to come after you, either of you, but just watch your back.
“Everything okay? You guys are being all serious.”
Lisanne hooked her arm around Dan’s waist, leaning into him.
“Nah, we’re good,” Dan lied easily. “Just talking about Best Man duties.”
We chatted for a little longer, then I hugged Dan and Lisanne and promised we’d fly out in time for the wedding.
“I’m so excited for you, Zef,” said Lisanne earnestly. “You’ll make a great dad.”
I couldn’t help noticing the disapproval on Dan’s face, and that cut me.