27

- Jax'zan -

She's safely inside and I can now go to my Ancestors with pride and honor. I have protected the Mother until she could get to her friends. The Ancestors will protect her on Bune, their home.

Another irox dives for me, a flying horror that our tribesmen tries their best to avoid. I took the first one by surprise, but these are now aware of what they're up against. They don't like it, I know. They're cowardly in their own way, and prefer to attack in huge numbers and sometimes flee when they realize that you intend to fight. But I've never seen this many at the same time.

I laugh out loud as the fighting spirit fills me. It's a good way to go. I have done what I can for Sophia. It's proper.

I fling my sword at the nearest irox and cut a wing off. It tumbles to the ground and tries to crawl away as the next one swoops down and I run to retrieve the blade.

I empty my mind. To fight these things you have to act on instinct. They're too fast to allow you to think and plan each move. Only a warrior acting intuitively has any chance at all.

I have to fill my conscious mind with other thoughts while my arms guide my sword with animalistic instinct. And my thoughts are filled with Sophia anyway.

It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I had to see her safely here without her seeing me. And of course we were hunted by all kinds of Bigs, even the rare and terrifying xervs. I had only one chance against that one. I had to throw my sword and hope that it would penetrate the beast's tiny brain. The Ancestors were merciful and made that happen. Then they allowed me to spot and neutralize every danger in Sophia's way until we were here and she hadn't seen me. They guided and protected us all the way. It's the clearest sign I've seen. The Ancestors support me.

I had no idea the Mother would be this spectacular. In every way. She escaped from the village the first chance she got. Why? To help her friends! It almost floored me.

When I put the ladder there, I half expected her to stay, realizing that her life in the tribe wouldn't be bad. I would have preferred it if she had remained, but I wanted her to have the choice. Something deep inside me rebels at the thought of breeding with a woman who is only doing it because she's in a difficult situation. It feels wrong. Even if she is the sacred Mother of Xren and the Prophecy states that I'll mate with her.

In the beginning, it was my opinion that she was mine. That I had ownership of her. The Prophecy states it, and it seemed right that she should somehow be my property. But before we came to our village, it dawned on me that she's not mine. She's her own. I have no right to own her. Not at all. Having known Sophia for many days, it has become clear to me that a woman is more more than just a vessel for mating. She's a full person in every way. She has ideas, courage, strength, emotions and a deep integrity that I'm not going to breach. And all the things we did together felt much better to my soul when I felt that she did them because she wanted to, not because she had to.

Sophia is the Mother, of course. But that seems less important now. The main thing is that she's also a woman I love. I want her to love me back. And if she doesn't – well, then I have to accept it, like any warrior has to accept adverse fate when he's done everything he can to avoid it. And I did mate with her. More than once, even. I should be content.

My sword is dripping with irox blood. I have slayed a good heap of them by now. My muscles are sore and I'm breathing heavy. But I can take out a few more.

I wanted to honor Sophia by letting her reach her friends on her own. I didn't want her to know that I helped her get here safely. It would have made her bravery lesser, in a way. She made her choice when she escaped from the village. It was a choice so courageous my heart soared while at the same time breaking into pieces. If I had offered to accompany her, she would have to make that same choice many more times. That would not have been fair to her.

It was my intention to see her safely here and then to return to the village to offer myself up to the judgement of the council and the inevitable death that would follow. But when I saw the flock of irox attack, I had to cross the boundary into forbidden Bune and protect my love. After this, the village will not take me back. I will not lie to them to keep my status. I have defied them. And I have stepped on Bune. Both are punished by death.

I picked Sophia over the tribe. I am an outlaw now. But it was the right choice, even so. I don't regret it at all.

The sword dances in my hand. I'm wet with cold, sticky irox blood. And my own. I'm tiring fast. I have taken down many irox, and they're becoming more careful. I think I may just be able to chase them away. If I survive that long. I'm fighting heroically, but I have sustained many injuries and I can't feel my hands.

I glance to the side. The round container that Sophia's friends live inside is being attacked, too. I can only hope that it will hold together.

The world is shrinking around me and I can no longer hear the irox' terrible screams.

I grin into the sky. I found the Mother. And then I helped her as well as I could. The Ancestors will welcome me among them. I will be an Ancestor and I will remain right here on Bune. I will protect Sophia and guide her as a spirit.

And, I decide with evil glee, I will haunt the shaman. He won't have a moment's peace after I die. His idea to force Sophia's friends to become involuntary breeders for the tribe is the worst and most dishonorable nonsense I've heard. But it was too tempting for the tribal council to reject. He knows what appeals to old men who are nearing the end of their lives without having known the embrace of a woman, and then suddenly have the possibility dangled in front of them.

I heave the sword at another irox. I can't remember the blade ever being this heavy before. I accept it. I don't have much longer to live. Even if the irox are clearly losing their spirit to fight and it will take very little for them to retreat now.

I lose the grip on my sword and when I go down on my knees to pick it up, I don't have the strength to get back up.

I smile again. This is how a warrior dies. Sophia will see that it was right.

I wet my lips. No one will hear them, but every warrior should have some last words. And what mine will be is plain.

“Sophia,” I whisper, making sure to get the sounds of her alien name right. “Kra tun kateh.”