1.
Lizzie looked out across the sand and waves. It was heading towards dusk and she had been down there all afternoon, lying on her old battered rug and reading. She had at least two more books to get through before the end of the week and she was starting to feel the pressure… Was there any way she would be able to read and analyze them all before the deadline?
When she went to college, she had imagined amazing parties and dates with really hot guys, but instead she had found herself locked up in her room as soon as she returned from class, and the only date she’d been on was with a German exchange student who tried to discuss his long list of bizarre fetishes with her over their introduction dinner. She hadn’t gone out with him again…but he had tried to persuade her, even offering to take her to a live sex show and introduce her to “the dark side,” as he put it.
“I have so much to do,” she’d told him, secretly annoyed with herself for being such a prude. “But if I have some spare time next week, I’ll call you and we can get together.”
She had never called him back… and her schedule never got any less hectic. She was approaching finals and was swamped. Choosing to major in English Literature had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now she was drowning under the never-ending pile of work and every time she looked at the page and tried to read, the words all seemed to blur into one.
That morning when woke up and heard the pounding of music filtering through from another dorm room, she decided it was time to hit the beach and find some tranquility. She couldn’t stay there, in the dark box room that she had called home for nearly a year, and concentrate. She needed a change of scenery, some fresh air and some inspiration. She pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a white t-shirt and grabbed her bag. She couldn’t wait to get out of there and breathe. She’d felt suffocated for the past week and even though she had been so busy cramming and barely had time to eat, she knew she couldn’t keep the pace up any longer.
She got to the beach just after noon and had spent nearly seven hours there. She stopped at least once every hour to look out at the surfers and past them to the horizon. The water was choppy and a deep blue, and she wished she could have stripped down to her underwear and run into it to cleanse herself from everything that was weighing her down. It had been a long time since she’d felt liberated, but she knew that day she was going to stay under her cloud. She had watched people come and go all day, every single of them relaxing and there she was, trying to work… None of it seemed right and as she lay down her copy of Ted Hughes’ Birthday Letters and picked up her purse, she finally decided that enough was enough.
The sky was tinged pink, and it cast its glow across the waves. The evening surfers were bobbing up and down, waiting for their moment. She held her hand up to her eyes and squinted into the distance, hoping to catch them one last time before she headed back to her car. They all began to paddle and their boards slowly lifted behind them. Lizzie smiled as she watched them get to their feet and ride before falling into the frothy white crash as the wave broke against the shoreline.
“Until next time,” she said to herself aloud, but the wind was so rough she barely even heard it herself. She turned and walked back to the boardwalk and made her way across to the parking lot in bare feet. When she got to her car, she opened the door and sat on the front seat, her legs dangling outside as she shook off the sand.
She had always loved the beach, and she was glad she had taken a day out to try and reconnect and clear her mind. Not that it had helped much. It wasn’t just finals and lack of a male interest that was getting to her. Recently she also had to experience her parents’ divorce, and the whole thing had left her emotionally scarred.
She looked out to the ocean again and tried not to remember how she had learned of her father’s infidelity. Of how she had to tell her mother everything and play mediator between them both as their lives all slowly fell apart. When the time came for her to leave for college, she couldn’t have been happier to get away. She desperately needed a fresh start. But so far all she seemed to have acquired was more stress.
She closed the driver’s side door and started the engine. A flock of seagulls swooped overhead and made their way out over the ocean. For the first time she felt the chill of the night air coming in.
Get yourself home, she thought. Time for bed and some more reading.
Realizing how pathetic that sounded, she rolled her eyes. God, did she need some excitement.