CHAPTER ELEVEN
Seth
I had a few shots. I needed them to calm my nerves.
I wasn’t nervous because I was walking my best friend down the aisle to give her away. I was freaking out because I knew Cat was with her.
The tequila was starting to put me somewhat at ease, but that quickly disappeared when I opened the door and saw another man with the girls. My worst nightmare was confirmed.
Cat had a boyfriend.
I hoped Mark stocked his house with boozed because, to get through the night, I was going to need to get wasted.
“Jossie.” I grabbed her hand in mine. I needed to tell her what was weighing on me before I gave her away. “Before I give you away, I just want to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I always thought I’d be there to protect you and I wasn’t.”
“We don’t need to go down that road, Seth.”
“I know. I don’t want to either. I just wanted to tell you that even though I wasn’t there for you, I know Paul will be.”
She snorted. “Is this your way of telling me that you approve of Paul?”
“I see the way he looks at you. It’s the same way I used to look at …” I trailed off thinking of her.
“At who?” Joss prompted.
I sighed. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t work out.”
“You know what they say, true love has a habit of coming back.”
I looked toward the front door where Cat had just gone through—with another guy. “Or it wasn’t meant to be.”
It didn’t matter that it was one-hundred degrees in the evening by the pool in Mark’s backyard, I could feel Cat’s body heat radiating off of her as I sat next to her while Joss and Paul exchanged vows. You know, front row on the bride’s side is for her family. That would be Cat and me.
“Paul, bro. You may kiss your bride,” Mark advised. Anyone could become ordained on the internet these days. Even an owner of an escort service. Maybe Mark would start offering that for couples that book dates. Instead of getting married by Elvis, they could get married while being escorted. I wasn’t into threesomes, but if they wanted to have a date with someone and then get married, that was on them. More money for Mark so he could afford this crib.
Everyone clapped as Paul and Joss kissed. I looked toward Cat, because I had to, and saw that she was wiping tears from her eyes. God, I wanted to wrap her in my arms, feel all of her body heat pressed to me, and share in this moment together. Our best friend had just gotten married. Instead, I caught Nathan’s eye as he pulled out a napkin, handed it to her, and then swung his arm across her shoulders.
Now that the ceremony was over, I needed to find the open bar.
Stat.
After all these years, I was definitely still in love with Cat. Was that how soulmates worked? No matter what, you’d always love them even if you couldn’t be with them? One thing I did know was that watching Cat in the arms of her boyfriend was a pain I’d never felt before.
It hurt worse than when she slammed the taxi door in my face.
It hurt worse than when I never heard her voice again.
It hurt worse than when I tried to replace her with so many others.
Seeing the one person you love loving someone else was like burning in a sea of hot lava. Basically, it was Hell.
“It’s weird huh?”
I glanced up to see Joss taking a seat next to me. “What is?”
“Having Cat here.”
If she only knew. “What do you mean?”
“I mean we haven’t seen in her so long. It’s just weird that she’s only a few feet from us. I really fucked things up between us all.”
I turned to her. “You fucked things up?”
“If I was still myself and hadn’t run away—”
“Nope.” I stood, reaching my hand out to her. “We are having none of that on your wedding day. It’s time to dance.”
She placed her hand in mine and stood. I led her to the dance floor, Bruno Mars singing about Uptown Funk, and then we danced as though nothing was wrong in the world. At one point the many glances I sent Cat as she danced with Nathan actually landed with her staring back at me. Our gazes would lock, our bodies still moving to the beat of the music, both questioning where it all went wrong. I mean, I knew where it went wrong, but how did it stay wrong? How did I not fight for her? Prove to her that I wanted to give us a shot? I was young, dumb, and selfish.
“I’m gonna go find my husband,” Joss said as another song ended. “Gosh, that sounds so weird.”
“Get used to it, Jossie.”
She beamed, finally realizing that she was Joselyn Jackson. Then she was off, and I was left standing alone on the dance floor, the two love birds laughing as if they were mocking me.
I stalked toward Cat. “Mind if I steal you for a minute?” Oh, God. What was I doing? I had no plan. My emotions got the best of me, and before I knew it, my feet were moving, and my mouth was saying words I didn’t want it to say.
Cat looked at Nathan, and he said, “It’s okay. I’ll go grab us a few cocktails.”
He left, and Cat turned toward me. “Yes?”
“Walk with me.” I held out my hand for her to take.
She blinked and stared out my outreached hand. “Walk with you?”
“I just want to talk, Kitty Cat. It’s been a long time.”
Cat didn’t say anything for a few beats, and I thought she was going to tell me to fuck off. Instead, she said, “Okay.”
God, I wanted to tell her that I wanted to just love her. That our love was true. I felt as though we wasted so many years, and now here we were with this giant elephant sitting on my chest causing me not to breathe.
She followed me off the dance floor, not grabbing my hand. My heart stung, but I kept my composure. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but more or less hoped. To get away from everyone, I walked to the steps that led up to the second-floor patio. The music still blared, and I had this urge to get her alone, so I asked, “Want to see why there are steps to the roof?”
Cat turned to look at the other cement staircase and shrugged. “Sure.”
We walked up the stairs, and I stared at her hips as they swayed going up the stairs. The music started to diminish slightly, and when I cleared the final stair, it became clear why there was an easy way up here. We’d walked into an oasis. Even under the moonlight, I could tell it was green and lush with flowers everywhere. There was a fountain in the center, and I swore I heard birds chirping.
“Oh my God,” Cat gasped. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed though I wasn’t talking about the greenery. I was staring at Cat, not believing that they two of us were alone.
She walked along a stone pathway to the water fountain and flowers that surrounded it. I had no clue what they were, but they weren’t prettier than Cat. “How is this possible?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea.” I mean really. Who has shit growing on their roof? Why not make the entire backyard paradise?
“Whatever the reason is, I want to do the same to my house. A place to escape.”
We walked to a bench next to the fountain and sat down. “So what do you want to talk about?” she asked bluntly.
I swallowed. There was so much I wanted to talk about, but how could I tell her anything without her running away again? “How have you been?”
Cat snorted. “You brought me up here to ask how I’ve been?”
No. “Isn’t that what old friends ask when they haven’t seen each other in eleven years?”
“Friends. Right.”
“What do you want me to ask, Kitty Cat?”
She turned her head, looking away from me. “Just … Just tell me why.”
“Why?”
Cat turned back to me. “Yeah, why?”
“Why what?”
She stood. “Why did you have to break my heart?”
I stood, moving in front of her, fearing that she was about to run again. “Why did I break your heart? Cat, you fuckin’ left without letting me explain. You took my heart with you in that yellow taxi.”
“You were on a date, Seth. I saw you kissing another woman. I didn’t want to share you. I gave you a piece of me, and you acted like I was just another notch.”
“No,” I snapped, placing my hands on her cheeks and looking directly into her eyes. “You were never just another notch. I fucking love you.”
“But you were on a date, kissing someone else.” A tear slid down her cheek, landing on my thumb. I brushed it away, my heart aching in my chest at the same time.
“I was doing my partner a favor,” I said, lowering my voice. “I owed him because he covered for me when Joss ran away. He wanted me to take his sister out so she’d leave him alone. It didn’t mean anything, and I never saw her again.”
“Kissing his sister was a favor?”
“No, she kissed me, and when I pulled back, you were there. It was bad timing.”
She pulled away from me. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I tired!” I snapped.
“I mean, you never said it on any of the voicemails or texts. Why didn’t you just explain it?”
“Because I wanted to tell you in person. I wanted you and only you. It’s always been you, Kitty Cat.” It will always be you.
Cat turned back to me, tears running down her cheeks. “It’s too late. I’m with Nathan now.”
“I know.” I sighed but wanted to tell her to dump his ass. Then the universe mocked me. The song in the distance switched to the strum of the guitar that I knew so well, the song I played on repeat for hours on end for months. Cat’s eyes flicked to mine, and I saw all the pain in them that mirrored mine. “Dance with me,” I begged.
“What?”
“Dance with me to our song, and then you can go back to your boyfriend. I just want this dance, and I’ll leave you alone.”
She let the lyrics be sung for a few moments before she said, “Okay.”
I tugged her hand to me, bringing her body flush with mine. At that moment, I didn’t care what month it was, what day it was, or about anyone else. It was Cat and me up on a magical rooftop, and she was back in my arms even if it was for only three minutes.
“You look beautiful tonight,” I whispered against her ear. “Perfect.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I brushed the tears from her cheeks, and we swayed to the song for a minute or so before I spoke again. “I know you’re with someone else—have a life in Florida—but for what it’s worth, I’ve always loved you, Cat. You’re in my arms, crying. You know you feel something for me too.”
She didn’t reply as the song came to an end. Then she broke free and left me …
Again.