Seb takes me straight to his bedroom, and I halt at the door as I take in the memories that flood me. The room is the same as I remember, with pale-blue walls, a massive, dark-wooden bed, which is beyond comfortable, and dark-wooden wardrobes lined up on the one side. I look at his bed, and the second thought that goes through my mind is that there must have been a lot of girls in it with him. I’m still shocked how much the thought hurts, and I gasp, not being able to hide the pain on my face

Sebastian frowns at me. "What's wrong? I thought my room would be a quiet place for us to talk," he questions me, walking farther into the room and waiting for me to enter.

"It's not that. It’s just being in the same room you've had dozens of girls in makes me a little uncomfortable." I move away from the door and into the room to stand near him.

"I’ve never had a girl in my bed other than you. I used the guest room." He rubs the back of his neck with a blush at the statement, like he is a little embarrassed to tell me this. I can't help but tense a little at the mention of him being with other girls. I tell myself I need to move past this because I can’t be like this around my child, he will eventually find a long-term girlfriend. Why does that thought make me feel like my heart is breaking in two?

"I'm sorry, for the girls I mean. They never meant anything to me, just a way to try to forget you. I lost myself in parties, trying to be happy, but it never worked. I regret it all more than anything else in my fucking life, May," he admits, watching me with a wary expression.

I don't say anything in reply because I'm not sure what to do, but I do go and sit on the side of his bed to show him I’m staying. His amazing smell surrounds me, and I want to lie in his bed forever. I think it would be weird to smell his pillows; I could blame it on being pregnant, I guess.

Sebastian sits next to me, after closing the door, and exhales before letting his head drop. We are close enough that I can feel his heat, but he doesn’t touch me.

"I'm going to talk, and I'm asking that you don't say anything until the end, please," Sebastian asks, adding the ‘please’ as a second thought. I look at his face, and it's filled with so much emotion that I can only nod. 

"I never told you why I had bruises sometimes, or why I had to be with my brothers and come back with more fucking bruises. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, and I lost you anyway without trying. I'm guessing you've heard of The Cage?” He waits for me to nod.

The Cage is well-known around here for being an underground fighting ring. It’s the town’s dirty little secret, and everyone knows they pay the police to look the other way. Some of my friends have been there, but I never wanted to go, even when they begged me, all of them saying I’d love it. The idea of watching people beat the crap out of each other doesn't appeal to me. And honestly, I stopped talking to my other friends as often afterward, only making time for Allie, who always agreed we shouldn’t go.

“Our dad trained us to fight there, as he was a partner. We are now paying off a debt because he tried to kill the other owner. We didn't stop him from trying to kill the boss, and we all have to fight a certain amount of fights to get out alive."

He stops, and I sit thinking over all of the times he was missing from school, or the bruises he’d have, and all of it makes sense now. I always thought they might be fighting in The Cage. I guess I was too scared to ask him. I think I ignored anything bad about Seb because I loved him so much. Seb continues after pausing.

"So, at sixteen, we all started fighting to clear our debt. That night you came over, well Luke had been in a fight. A bad one. I had to watch as the other guy broke Luke’s arm and stabbed him. The fight turned nasty, and I watched my once kind brother lose himself as he killed that guy.” I pull in a shocked breath as tears fill my eyes at the thought of poor Luke. To have been put in that position must have been awful.

“Watching my little brother get beat on, and knowing I couldn't stop it, well, it destroyed me, May. I listened to the hospital tell me all his injuries, and I lost it. Elliot had a party going when I got home, he didn't know how bad the fight was, but he did rush off to tell the others when I told him. I got drunk–beyond drunk, and I honestly was sitting there one minute and then she was on my lap a second later, kissing me.”

I flinch away from him as he tries to take my hand, but he continues talking despite my response.

“I thought it was you for a while, but I did realise when you called my name. I pushed her off before anything else happened. I passed out after that, trying to follow you, and, well, when I heard the message you left me saying it was over . . .” He glances at me with his eyes full of tears. “The thought that you saw me . . . I lost it, May. I went mad trying to find you for around two weeks, and then I gave up. I gave up on life and started partying to forget everything and everyone.” He moves a little closer to me.

“I started not caring about anything as my past controlled my future, and I thought I’d lost you forever. I did sleep with Elena. I think I was trying to get back at you, and I'm so fucking sorry for it," he says the end bit in tears, with his green eyes locking me in place.

I get up to pace, placing my hand on my stomach as my anger floods my mind. I knew he would have slept with Elena, but to learn he was drunk that first night, and that he thought she was me, is a lot to handle. I don't know how to feel about it. I can understand how much he must have felt guilty about Luke and how drunk he would have gotten. I've spent so long hating him for that, but I get it. It all makes sense with his past.

"How many times did you sleep with her?" I ask, sounding as bitter as I feel. I’m sure she destroyed my relationship, and I bet she wasn't even drunk that night. She took advantage of him and got what she wanted. It makes me feel sick. 

"I don't think you want me to answer that. Would you look at me, May?" he asks.

"Don't call me that, Sebastian. Okay, so more than once? When was the last time?" I ask.

"Maybe it was a few weeks ago, and yes, more than once as she sort of stayed around. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry, and I honestly don't care about her. I never did. No girl I've been with mattered to me like you did, or do. I was just lost and looking for you in every girl," he admits shakily.

I burst into tears. This is all too much to handle, and I turn away, not looking at him at all. I feel him wrap his arms around me and pull my back into his front as he hugs me. I eventually stop crying in his arms and turn to look up at him. Seb looks as devastated as I feel, with his own face shedding silent tears. 

"I forgive you for that night. I tried so hard to hate you, but I never could. I tried to move on, and I never could," I tell him.

"Thank you. I don't deserve it, but, May, I–" he stops, looking at my mouth, and I can't help but be drawn to his.

Seb doesn’t wait as he captures my mouth in a deep kiss, which makes me melt into him as his dark taste fills my mouth. Seb always tastes like the best coffee you’ve ever had. The kiss deepens as I wrap my hands around his neck and play with his hair, while his hands roughly slide through mine. Seb runs his hands down to my ass, making me gasp, and he takes advantage of my surprise to kiss me deeper.

Was it like this when he kissed all those girls? When he kissed Elena. When he fucked her? The thoughts flood my mind as I try to relax into Seb. The problem is my heart is too hurt to let my body do that. I pull away sharply and take a few steps back while his eyes lock onto me like I’m his next meal. I raise a shaky hand between us.

"No, stop. I can't. I may forgive you for that night, but for Elena . . . I can't," I say breathlessly.

"I'm sorry, but I won't give up. I felt that. You kissed me back, and I know you still love me like I love you. I'm going to wait for you to forgive me because I've always been yours, like you've always been mine." He strokes a tear away from my cheek and places his other hand on my bump.

"I'm going to love you both so much that we will forget the past. I screwed us up, but I'm going to fix it, May. I was a kid then, but I'm not now," he tells me as he pulls my head to his chest. We stay like this for a while as we both calm down.

I rest my head on his chest a second longer before turning away and opening the door. "I have to go home, so I guess I’ll see you soon?" I ask gently.

"Can I ask you one question? Did your parents make you date anyone else?" he asks, looking so worried it almost makes me smile. 

"No. I've been pregnant, Sebastian. Morning sickness all day kind of makes you less dateable, and only Kyle, the asshole, would try to date me." I laugh as he frowns. I should tell him that I dated someone else for a little while as a rebound, but I can’t find the words. Surprisingly, I just don’t want to hurt him, and it annoys me.

"Sickness or not, you’re the hottest girl I've ever seen. So I have the right to be worried." He smiles sadly.

"I've been on dates with Kyle, but that's my parents’ condition for sleeping under their roof. I won't let him touch me because of their rule. He knows that but has it in his head that I'm going to marry him. I was just saving up to move out while keeping my parents happy," I tell an angry-looking Seb.

"They shouldn't make you date someone." He runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

"They don't think I can handle being a single parent, and I thought I was alone. In their own way, they are trying to make me safe and happy, I think," I say with a deep grimace and look away, as even I don’t believe my own lie. I don’t look as I open the door and end up running straight into the face of Elliot, who just walked out of his room. His hand shoots out to my shoulder to stop us from bumping into each other.

"You won't be alone, you have a family now," Elliot says darkly, but he smiles gently before walking off. I raise an eyebrow at Seb, who chuckles.

"I’ll walk you out, and that's Elliot’s way of saying ‘congrats’ to us." Seb smiles before taking my hand and leading me out. I say goodbye to Allie and Izzy before promising to call them for a catch-up day. 

"Thanks for listening to me today," Seb says, stopping me from getting into his car, and I turn to look at him. 

"We are having a baby together soon. So we should be able to get along as friends," I tell him, still smiling.

"I want to do more than just get along as friends, May, but I'll take what I can at the moment. Let's get you back to your car." He smirks at me in a way that showcases his amazing smile.

"Sure," I say in a little bit of a daze. When he starts the car, I can't help but voice what I'm thinking. "Why do you want me? I'm huge now. I don’t look like the girls you've been with or how I looked before. Is it because I'm carrying your child that you want me?"  I ask, looking away from him.

Seb stops the car, we are half-way down his driveway as he turns my chin so I’m forced to meet his angry, green eyes. We stare at each other as he places his large hands on both sides of my face and pulls me into a scorching kiss. I can't help but let him as his tongue slips into my mouth, and I hear him moan my name under his breath before kissing me again.

We pull apart, eventually, as we struggle to get our breath back.

"Hell, May, I've never wanted anyone as much as you. You’re beautiful, even more now, and it annoys me that you can't see that.” He pins me in place with his serious gaze, I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to as he smooths a piece of my stray hair behind my ear.

“Yes, I'll admit I want us to be a family, but I want you more. It's always been you for me, May," he says, moving so he is resting his forehead against mine. I want to believe him, but I keep seeing Elena's face, or all of the other girls he had while he claims he was always mine. 

"I can't, Sebastian, I just can't–"

He cuts me off with a sweet kiss. "Don't say anything now. You need time to think and forgive me for being a stupid idiot. I won't give up, and I'm going to be waiting for you, even if it means I end up not having sex for the next forty-odd years." He grins at me while his eyes devour my body.

"Only forty, huh? Are you not planning on living past your fifties?" I joke to lighten the mood, trying to ignore how happy it makes me that he isn't going to be fucking around with other girls right now. 

"No. I’ll die from lack of sex by then." He winks, and I can't help but laugh.