Chapter 5
Here I am, once again sitting in my Navigator and driving to a place I know I shouldn’t. I’m putting myself into a situation that will turn bad, it does every time. But…I’ve gotten close with the women of the Satan’s Sinners, and I can’t say no when one of them needs me.
This time it’s Ever, Zoey’s twin sister. She’s been having pregnancy symptoms, but just had what she thinks is her period. She’s been having some cramping, except it’s more painful than regular menstrual cramps. The girls bought her three pregnancy tests from the drugstore and they all came back inconclusive, so today we are going to find out for sure.
I’ve been through a lot with these women: pregnancies, Writer’s detox and motorcycle accident, and loved ones leaving. I love these ladies, and that might be strange because they know nothing about me, but they are the closest I have to real, true friends. But… I need to tell them that after today I can’t come back to the clubhouse. We can meet somewhere else or at my office, but I can’t take coming here anymore.
I can’t handle the torment Hacker puts me through any longer.
I pull into the gate and park in the lot along with the rest of the vehicles and motorcycles. Grabbing my purse with the test from the clinic inside, I get out of my Navigator and start walking towards everyone outside. When the girls see me they all jump up at once, but it’s at the same moment Hacker and Doc come out the door.
I freeze, not knowing what to do; Hacker strides towards me in long, quick steps. My eyes widen in fear, but Bear, Ghost, and BamBam stop him, holding him back from charging any closer. Thank God! My feet finally begin to move, and the same rage-filled expression is clear on his face as I walk by. My feet are in motion—no way am I stopping until I’m safely inside. I don’t need to look behind me to know the girls are following close behind, straight into the clubhouse.
“I warned you not to come back here! Go and hide now, but you can’t stay in there forever. I’ll make good on my threat, fuckin’ believe that, bitch. You think you belong in my world? You fuckin’ don’t, but maybe you could make a good little whore and get passed around.” His laugh is sinister, then he continues, “Maybe you’d be better at takin’ cock than bein’ a fuckin’ doctor. Keep comin’ back here and one day my brothers won’t be here to protect you.”
I weaken with every hateful word that spews from his mouth. Someone pulls me along with them; my ragged breaths are short and I feel like I’m being deprived of oxygen. Tears sting my eyes; he’s just torn another piece from my soul.
“Hacker, enough!” someone demands loudly—I recognize Hanger’s voice—before silence ensues.
“Jesus Christ, what happened between you two?” Jacey questions from my side.
I shake my head furiously. “It wasn’t my fault.” Tears cascade down my cheeks. “He blames me, but it wasn’t my fault,” I sob, my body shaking uncontrollably as someone helps me sit on a bed.
Memories flash behind my eyes.
That night.
The heartbreak.
The realization.
The first time I broke.
“Honey, what did he blame you for?” Zoey questions, kneeling in front of me.
“Whatever it was, he doesn’t have any right treating her like that!” Jacey sounds pissed off.
A voice I don’t recognize pops in with, “I’ve never seen Hacker like that.”
“I can’t. I can’t talk about it.” I shake my head, try to gain my composure, and wipe my wet cheeks. “I’m sorry.” I look around the room at Zoey, Jacey, Ever, and two women I haven’t met yet. “I hope you understand I can’t come here anymore. I can’t deal with him any longer. Each time his anger, nasty words, and hate rip away another part of me. I can’t let him do this to me again. I’m a good person and I’m a damn good doctor!” My bottom lip quivers; my eyes brim with tears ready to start falling. Each woman in this room has different levels of worry etched on their faces. “I’ll be fine,” I try to reassure them, and now I need to deflect the situation. I slap my thighs, put a smile on my face, and stand up. “Let’s find out if Ever is pregnant.”
Ever is deaf and I don’t know sign language, so I pull the test out of my purse and hand the urine cup to her twin sister, Zoey, who used to be a nurse. “You can explain to her how to do it correctly. When she is done I will go in and perform the test.”
“Thanks, Sierra. I just want you to know we all care about you and you are part of this group of amazing ladies. But...we understand you not wanting to come back. If we would have known it would be that bad or he would have been that disrespectful then we wouldn’t have had you come here in the first place. We’re sorry for ever putting you in the situation to be around Hacker.” She grabs my hand and squeezes. “When you’re ready to talk, we’re here for you.”
“Yep, what she said—and we love ya’ girl,” Jacey chimes in, making us laugh.
“Thank you! It means a lot to me—and I love you, too! Now get her in there to take the test!”
Zoey takes Ever into the bathroom, and it takes a few minutes for Zoey to come back out. We all wait patiently for Ever to finish in the bathroom, and when the door opens, I grab the pair of latex gloves, the test strip, and dropper out of my purse and go into the bathroom.
Dropping a few drops of urine from the cup onto the test strip, I watch the two lines immediately start forming: Ever is definitely pregnant. I remove my gloves, wash my hands, and open the bathroom door with a smile on my face. My gaze connects with Ever, and I nod, watching her cover her mouth with her hands, tears forming in her eyes. All of us excitedly hug Ever, but I’m the first to pull back to grab my purse.
Zoey’s right; all of these ladies are amazing with their support for one another. “I’m going to go now.”
Zoey and Jacey come stand in front of me. Zoey says, “Thank you, Sierra.”
“You’re welcome! She will need to make an appointment. Tell Ever I’m so happy for her.”
“We’ll call you so we can have lunch,” Jacey chimes in and pulls me in for a hug.
Zoey joins in, “Before you go; we didn’t get to introduce you to Chatty or Audrey.”
“Nice to meet you, Sierra. I’m Chatty.” The blonde waves with a smile.
“I’m Audrey.” The other smiles as well, and for the first time I notice her crazy hair color, tattoos, and piercings. These two are just as beautiful as Zoey, Ever, and Jacey.
“It’s nice to meet you both.” I mirror their smiles and turn back to Jacey and Zoey. “It’ll be nice to have lunch, so please do call me, but I really need to go now.”
The ladies walk me out of the clubhouse, where I look around outside and don’t see Hacker anywhere, so I think I’m safe to leave. I make it to my Navigator without incident and when I shut the driver’s side door I release a deep, relieved breath. The sun is beginning to set, I’m exhausted from my breakdown, and I just want to get home.
Forty minutes later, I park in my driveway since the garage is currently full of stuff. I need to put it on my to-do list to get the garage cleaned out. I grab my purse and keys from the ignition and climb out of the SUV.
I walk up to the front door, get my key in the lock, and suddenly a hand covers my mouth. My eyes widen in shock and I flail around, trying to break free as I’m dragged from my porch to the side of the house. I try biting the hand that’s covering my mouth, but it does nothing to stop my assailant.
Suddenly, I’m spun around; my back slams into the grey siding of my house. Oh, God, I’m staring into the deathly cold eyes of Hacker. He firmly holds me in place with one of his huge arms across my chest as his other hand pushes against my mouth. How did he find out where I live? I try to scream underneath his hand, but it’s muffled, so no one would be able to hear me anyway. My wide eyes pool with tears.
“How you like me bein’ on your territory?” His smirk is evil, and I’m terrified he’s going to hurt me. Every scenario of what he could do runs through my mind. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
He slackens his hold on me just enough to let me nod. Tears spill over and run down my cheeks, I’m so scared. My body trembles against the house.
“Do you know what I could do to you right now? No one would ever know.” He leans in closer, whispers against my ear, “You know why they call me Hacker?” His breath blows against my skin, and not in a good way.
“Sierra?” Shelly yells from the front porch.
“Say one word to anyone about me being here and I’ll pay you another visit. Understood?” I nod again.
He releases me and I run from the side of the house, past Shelly and Cash, not once looking back. “Sierra, are you okay?” Cash calls after me. I can’t answer; I’ll break down once again, and I can’t let them see me like that.
I go straight for my bedroom and into the bathroom. After I turn the shower water on, I strip my clothes from my body, and sit on the shower floor, letting the steaming water run over me. Loud wails rip from my chest as I expel it all.
Long after the water has turned cold, I’m finally calm enough to get out. I wrap a towel around my soaking, shivering body and get under the covers in my bed before falling into a deep sleep.