Chapter 17: Lucy

 

 

“I can’t believe you left swiped that guy!” Fiona said, looking over my shoulder.

I shrugged. “I wasn’t feeling his sideburns.”

“You of all people should know that hair is one of the only things you can change about a man.”

“Tell that to my Dad.”

“Good point,” she said. “But even he could get a transplant or something.”

I laughed. “He’d probably be an excellent candidate. He takes really good care of the few hairs that are left.”

“I’m not sure why he bothers. Once you have few enough that you can name them, you should probably just give up.”

I swiped a few guys left just for looking at me funny.

“Damn, you’ve gotten picky. I woulda kept that buff looking one.”

“Which one?”

“I was just about to ask you the same question,” she said. “What do you think?”

I craned my neck around to look at her.

She pulled her hair back. “Silver danglies?”

I looked at her exposed ear. “Okay.”

“Or purple danglies?” she asked, modeling the other side of her head.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” I asked.

“Whoa, I know my style is eclectic, but I wouldn’t wear my Bulls Jersey on a date.”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past you.” 

“Just pick already.”

“Could you ask me again in context?” I turned back to my phone. “And you’re welcome that I take styling you so seriously.”

Fiona groaned and started down the hallway.

“Hey, are you still using Tinder or are you and Peter off the market?”

“I’m not off,” she called down the hall. “But I’m not swiping or anything.”

“I suppose you’ll have to have a formal chat with him about that when the time comes.”

“Hideous!”

“Yeah, I don’t envy you.”

“No, not the talk is hideous,” she yelled from her room. “I was referring to my skinny jeans which are tight already, and he’s not even officially my boyfriend.”

I laughed. “Letting yourself go ahead of schedule, are you?”

“Apparently,” her voice echoed up the hall.

“I hope he’s not getting matched right now with someone who still fits in hers.”

“You’re a bitch.”

“I know, sorry. I’m only joking. I just don’t know how you’re not totally paranoid after the Chelsea thing.”

“I’m hoping Peter’s a better person than she is.”

“I’d say there’s a good chance.”

I swiped left on a bunch of guys who were above average, but brunettes were reminding me too much of Aiden since last weekend.

“Okay, now which earrings?” Fiona asked, stepping back into the room.

“Oh, purple, for sure.”

“Thanks,” she said. “Was that so hard?”

I looked down at my phone. “Wait—oh my god.”

“Are you having second thoughts?”

“No,” I said. “Not about the earrings. Look at my phone, and tell me I’m not crazy.”

I held it up for her and closed my eyes.

She laughed. “You’re crazy alright.”

“What should I do?”

“Obviously, you should right swipe him. He’s your best friend.”

“What if he gets the wrong idea?”

“What if he doesn’t more like? Look at his fucking arms in that picture.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I mean, I’m not into fisting, but I’d let him-”

“Enough!” I said, pulling the phone back towards me. “You’re a freak.”

“A freak for Aiden.”

“Stop.”

“And so are you.”

“No, I’m not,” I said, tapping the button to look at the rest of his pictures.

“Are you seriously pretending to think about it? There’s nothing to think about.”

“Don’t you think he should be judged just as harshly as everyone else?”

She plopped down on the couch next to me. “Fair enough. Let’s see his pecs- I mean pics.”

“Okay, so you saw the one of him in his old uniform? The next one is…”

She put a hand over her chest. “Him in his physio scrubs?! Be still my beating heart.”

“I get it,” I said, flicking through to the next picture. “You have a thing for scrubs.”

“Wait- what the fuck is wrong with his hair in that one?”

“It’s a wig. Remember when I made him go to that Lord of the Rings party with me?”

“Oh right. Christ. Who is he even supposed to be there? Bilbo?”

“No, he was Samwise Gamgee.”

“And you were…?”

“Frodo, obviously.”

“Why didn’t you go as cool wizards or something?”

“Cause everyone knows that Hobbits have more fun.”

“You need to get out more,” she said.

“Whatever. If you’d watch the movies, you’d understand.”

“Just show me the next one already.”

“Okay, here goes.”

“Awwww,” we said in unison.

“What’s that from?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “But it’s pretty cheap to have a picture of a puppy licking your face. I mean, how manipulative is that?”

“It worked though, didn’t it? We both totally melted.”

“I did not totally melt.”

“Lucy.”

“What?”

“You have to right swipe him.”

“Do I?”

“Of course! He’s your Samwise.”

“Fuck.” I knew she was right. Not only did I desperately want to, but wasn’t it what I always fantasized about? Meeting him in a different way? Starting over and seeing if there was anything there, like normal adults who didn’t go through puberty together?

“Plus, you already know he’s a good kisser.”

“I didn’t tell you that.”

“You didn’t have to. I’ve kissed him a thousand times in my dreams.”

I pointed down the hall. “You need to keep getting ready.”

Fiona rocked up off the couch and looked down at me. “If you don’t heart him, your chance at a relationship with him is going to crumble to nothing like Mordor.”

“Wait- what? How did you-”

“I’ve seen the movies, dummy,” she said, heading down the hallway.

I shook my head. Then, as soon as I saw her disappear into her room, I pressed the heart button.

Two minutes later, I realized I’d been holding my breath and exhaled slowly. But before I’d even let the air out of my lungs, my phone pinged.

I gasped as I read the “You have a match” message, giving myself the hiccups instantly.

“Have you seen my wallet?” Fiona asked, walking into the kitchen. “I had it out here when we got Jimmy Johns last night?”

I hiccupped again, reaching down between the couch cushions and holding her wallet in the air.

“Thanks.”

“Fiona.”

“You want me to scare you or something so your hiccups go away,” she said, grabbing her wallet. “Cause I could go put on your Frodo costume and-”

I shook my head.

“What then?”

I lifted my phone. “I have a match.”

She froze. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“What are you going to say?”

“I’m not going to say anything,” I said. “He was probably just being friendly.”

“Yeah, and the other night he was just checking to see if you had any cavities.”

“Don’t you think I should wait a few minutes and see if he sends me a message.”

“He sent you a message in his apartment last weekend.”

“I’m really starting to regret telling you that.”

Fiona pursed her lips. “Why don’t you just say hey.”

“Hey?”

She shrugged. “Hi?”

“That’s exactly why I’m not going to say anything. There’s nothing to say. We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, right. And Frodo and Samwise were just friends.”

“Right.”

She raised her hands in the air. “Until they embarked together on the greatest adventure of their lives!”

I turned to look at her. “Which did not start on Tinder.”

“Are you kidding?” she asked. “Tinder is just like The Shire!”

I leaned against the arm of the couch. “Please go on. I’m dying to know what Tinder and The Shire have in common.”

Fiona cleared her throat. “The Shire is a safe place from which epic adventures begin.”

“That’s a stretch.”

“Maybe, but if I never sent Peter a message, I wouldn’t have a bruise on my inner thigh right now.”

“You sent him a message?”

“Hell yeah I did. And I’m going to send him another one tonight and it’s gonna say-”

“I don’t want to hear about that one. Tell me what you said when you first got matched.”

She shrugged. “It was something like, do you really work at the Children’s hospital or are you just the sleaziest guy I’ve met on Tinder yet?”

“And?”

“And he said he really worked there.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And I said, in that case I’m seriously ill and need urgent treatment.”

“Jesus.”

“And then I said, and by treatment I mean dinner.”

“Good lord.”

“Isn’t he though? I’ve been calling his name ever since.”

“Oh god.”

“That’s exactly what I say, over and over and-”

“Shouldn’t Peter be here by now?”

“I’m not leaving until you send him a message.”

I looked down just as my phone pinged. “Too late.”

“What did he say?”

“He said-” I shook my head and tried to suppress a smile. “Sup beautiful?”