That’s why you love me. How do you respond to something like that?
If you’re me, you run away. Because it hit just a little too close to home.
At rehearsal that afternoon, I avoided even looking at Kyle. I just didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, the others were all curious to hear about the fire, and make sure that I was all right, and see that I had everything I needed. All of them except Natasha, of course. She just looked at me as though I was a piece of gum on the bottom of her shoe. I was getting used to it by then.
Kyle was right; Walter was incredibly solicitous. He took me aside while the band was warming up and told me that if I needed an advance, or if there was anything he could do to help, I only had to ask. Once again, I felt like I was part of a family, one I hadn’t known in a long time. Samantha and I were close, but I’d barely spoken to my parents in years. Being around Parallel Destiny made me feel like I had four older brothers and a grumpy but kindly uncle.
Well. Three older brothers. And an ugly stepsister.
And then there was Kyle.
After Walter’s little talk, I ducked out of the rehearsal space. I hadn’t spoken to Samantha since the day before everything went to Hell in a handbasket, and there was a lot to talk about.
She nearly had a heart attack when I told her about the fire.
“But you’re okay, right?” She kept asking me that, all throughout our conversation, and I kept assuring here that yes, I was fine and yes, I had somewhere to stay. Of course, when I told her that it was with Kyle, she burst out laughing, and it took a good five minutes to get her to shut up.
“We’re not sleeping together, Sam!”
“Well, why not?” she demanded, and I blushed deeply. “I thought you said he was hot.”
“He is,” I mumbled.
“And that you really like him.”
“I do,” I said. The whine in my voice was even grating on my nerves.
“Then get on with it, kid!” The frustration in her voice was palpable. “If you don’t tell him how you feel, I’m going to track him down and tell him myself.”
I stared at the phone in horror. “What kind of sister are you?”
I could almost hear her eyes rolling. “The kind that wants you to be happy and healthy and popping out little nieces and nephews for me,” she said bluntly.
“Whoa.” I stuck out my tongue. “Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we?”
She made an impatient noise. “You’re not getting any younger, Charlie. And from what I’ve seen of this guy, he’d make some amazing babies.”
My cheeks were so hot, I could have lit one of her cigarettes on them.
“What do you know about him?” I grumbled.
She laughed. “Uh, hello. You’ve heard of that new thing called The Internet?” She was grinning; I could tell. “He is fucking hot, kiddo. No wonder you always hook up with musicians.”
I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “That wasn’t exactly on my mind when we first met, Sam.” I shook my head. “I didn’t even know who he was.”
“No, I know exactly what was on your mind when you first met.”
I sank down behind the wheel of my car. “Please don’t remind me.”
If I’d been there, she probably would have smacked me on the head.
“You need to be reminded,” she said sharply. “In case it escaped you, he’s been a complete sweetheart to you ever since he walked into your apartment and fucked your brains out.”
I winced. Samantha was getting less tactful every time I spoke to her.
“Seriously, Charlie. This keeps up, and you’ll be beyond even my help.” I heard her lighting up another cigarette, her second during our conversation. “You ever hear the expression ‘too stupid to live’? You’re getting pretty close, kiddo.”
“What the hell do you want me to do about it?” I snapped.
“Wow, you don’t listen well, do you?” She took a deep breath, then yelled into the phone, and I held it away from my ear. “Tell him you fucking like him, you stupid cow!” She laughed. “Whew, that feels better. Can I get you to promise me you’ll do it? Tonight?”
I sighed. “Fine,” I said quietly. “I’ll... try.”
She snorted. “In the words of the great, green philosopher: do, or do not.” She inhaled and blew out a breath. “Get on with it, or move along so Natasha can have her shot.”
I stiffened. “Fine,” I said again, a little more crisply. “You’re a pushy bitch, you know that?”
She laughed again. “Yeah, that’s why you love me,” she said, and I cringed at the words. “I gotta go. You wanna get together at Violets next week? Come before we open and I’ll treat you to lunch.”
“Maybe,” I said, staring out the window at the afternoon sun as it glinted off the hood of my car. “Guess it depends if I’ve died of embarrassment by then.”
She snickered. “If you do, I’ll prop your corpse up in Roses. You’ll suit the décor.” She hung up on me, and I rolled my eyes.
That’s why you love me. It was just something people said, wasn’t it? Of course, when someone says it and you’re already feeling like a fraud, it’s not just a throwaway phrase. I wondered if I’d be able to keep my promise to Samantha. I shook my head again. I loved her, but she had no idea what she was talking about.
I was reading a book on my phone when my alarm went off. Six-thirty? I looked up expectantly, but there was no one outside the building. Rehearsal was running late; far later than usual. I got out of the car and stuffed my phone into my blazer pocket, heading for the door, ready to see what was keeping the band. There was a honk from behind me, and I turned, then stared, my mouth open in shock and horror. The dark van pulling up behind my car, blocking me in, had a nauseatingly familiar name on the side:
Kings of Denial.
I snapped my mouth shut and folded my arms across my chest as the four of them piled out. Adam’s dark brown hair was instantly visible amongst the three blonde guys he played with. Even their dark-skinned bassist had bleached out his dreads.
“Well, well.” Adam sauntered over to me, grinning broadly. “Didn’t expect to see you here, Firecracker.” He looked around as his bandmates dug around in the van, pulling out their instruments. Apart from the five of us, there was no one around. “When did you turn into a groupie?”
I lifted my chin and gave him a dark look. “When you turned into a decent human being,” I said sharply. “So that would be just this side of never.”
His grin faded. “Oh, baby,” he said, stepping a little closer. I held my ground, but the sweet smell of his aftershave was starting to turn my stomach. “You know you don’t mean that.” He reached up to touch my face, and I jerked my head back.
“Don’t touch me, Adam,” I growled. “You lost that privilege when you started filling our bed with women who wouldn’t know an electric from an acoustic.”
He laughed. “You’re one of a kind, you know that?” He grinned again, and my skin started to crawl. “We were so good together.” His voice dropped. “We could be good together again, Firecracker.”
“Not in a thousand lifetimes,” I said, glaring at him.
“We only need one, baby,” he said softly. He took another step towards me, and I backed up nervously, bumping into the brick exterior of the building.
There was a dark, velvet voice beside me.
“Fucking hack.”
Adam and I both turned our heads. Kyle was holding the door open, leaning against it with his forearm, his free hand stuffed into the pocket of his jeans. The other members of Adam’s crew started walking towards us with their instrument cases. They stopped several feet away, and I saw them glancing at each other, then at Kyle.
“What the fuck did you say?” Adam narrowed his eyes and straightened. The two men were almost the same height, but Kyle was by far the more muscular. He tossed his hair out of his eyes and smiled poisonously.
“I said, you’re a fucking hack.” He stepped out of the building and strolled up to us. “Did you want to hear it again?” he asked. “Because seriously, I could say it all fucking night and never get tired of it.” He lifted his chin at me. “Hey, Charlie.” The intimate way he said my name made my stomach flip and my heart beat faster.
Adam pointed at Kyle. “Parallel Destiny,” he said. “You’re Kyle Chase.”
Kyle nodded. “And you’re a piece of shit.” He raised an eyebrow. “Now, can we stop talking about the obvious?”
Half of me wanted to laugh at their posturing, but I knew it wasn’t a joke, no matter how flippant Kyle was being.
Adam looked at me, then back at Kyle. “You’re fucking this guy?” he said, and snorted. “I thought you had better taste in men, Firecracker.”
“I’ve traded up,” I said drily, and Adam turned to me, his eyes blazing.
“You fucking whore,” he spat. He opened his mouth to say something else, but he never got the chance.
I shot my hand out and slapped him, hard. A faint red handprint appeared on his cheek, and he stared at me in shock. “Don’t ever talk to me that way.” Kyle was grinning wickedly. “If anyone’s a whore here, it’s you.”
Adam’s cheeks flushed with anger, and the red mark turned white. “Touch me again, bitch, and I’ll show you who’s the real whore.” He grabbed my wrist and squeezed.
It didn’t last.
Kyle growled and picked Adam up by his leather jacket, slamming him against the side of the building. His voice was low, soft, and dangerous.
“Because I respect what you do, I’m not going to tear your tiny dick off and feed it to you,” he said, his eyes darkening. Adam stared at him, his brown eyes wide with fear. “But if you ever, and I mean ever, lay a hand on my Charlie again, I will wring your fucking neck so hard, you’ll never sing another fucking note.” He gave Adam another shove. “Are you hearing me on FM, asshole?”
If I thought my heart was beating fast before, it was almost pounding through my chest now.
My Charlie?
The lead guitarist for the Kings took a step towards them, but the bassist shook his head and put out his hand. Adam glanced over at me, then back at Kyle. He nodded slowly. “I hear you.”
“Good.” Kyle let go and stepped back. “Now fuck off and leave my woman alone.” He stabbed his finger against Adam’s chest. “You don’t call her, you don’t look for her, you don’t fucking think about her. Or I will find you and make your life a living hell.”
Adam glared at Kyle, then looked over at me. “You blew it, baby,” he sneered. “You could have had the best.”
I smiled sweetly. “I already have the best,” I said, and the minute the words left my mouth, I knew they were true. Kyle looked sharply at me, a slow grin starting on his face. “You were just a bump in the road.”
Adam snarled and spat at my feet. He smiled viciously at Kyle and waved his band over. “You wanna see who’s the better man, Firecracker?”
Kyle just shook his head and grinned. “Why don’t we even the odds, fucker?” he said, and snapped his fingers. As if by magic, Tyler, Dan, and Joey rolled out of the building, laughing at something. When they saw what was going on in the parking lot, their laughter died.
“Trouble, man?” Joey raised his eyebrows.
Tyler narrowed his eyes and set his guitar case on the ground. Dan pushed his drum kit towards the Parallel Destiny van and turned to face us. He twirled a drumstick between his fingers. Did the man never put those things down?
Kyle’s grin turned nasty. “Dunno,” he said. “Depends how badly this piece of shit wants his face to meet the pavement.”
Adam swallowed and glanced around nervously. “Fuck it,” he said with a sneer. “You’re not worth it.” He turned on his heel and stalked off into the building. His band followed, but not before Joey put out his fist. The Kings of Denial’s bassist bumped it and ducked through the door. I almost laughed, but my heart was too busy feeling like it was about to explode.
Kyle moved to stand in front of me as Natasha and Walter came out of the building together. Both of them looked around, and Walter raised a thick eyebrow.
“Something going on here I ought to know about?” he asked.
“Not yet,” Kyle said, looking down at me with those intense blue eyes. “But you’ll be the first to hear about it if anything changes.”
Natasha made a disgusted sound and stalked off to her car. Walter studied us for a minute before shrugging and making his way to his Mercedes.
“You guys okay?” Joey leaned against the wall beside me and looked up at Kyle. Dan was already rolling his drum kit towards the van again, but Tyler came up beside Kyle and smiled warmly at me.
“Yeah, we’re good.” Kyle nodded and smirked at Joey. “I didn’t know you knew their bassist.”
“What, that mastur-basser?” Joey threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, he’s banging my sister. She’s got a thing for that brown sugar sound.” He grinned wickedly.
Tyler rolled his eyes, and Kyle snorted. I clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle.
“Okay, Joey. Too much information.” Kyle punched him in the arm, and Joey laughed again. “Get the fuck out of here, you two. Charlie and I have something to talk about.”
Joey smirked, and Tyler nodded. “Uh-huh,” he said, winking at Joey. “Talk. Right.”
“Fuck off, shithead,” Kyle said, and Tyler clapped him on the back before following Joey to the van. Their combined laughter floated away on the breeze.
“Talk, huh?” I said, smiling up at Kyle.
He looked down at me, his expression serious. “Yeah, actually.” He looked over at my little Camry. “But you’re not getting out past that van.” He jerked his head towards his car. “Come on. You’re coming home with me in the Jag.”
“Oh, am I?” I said archly.
He grinned. “Yes. Yes, you are.” He gestured towards the nearly empty lot. “After you.”
I’d never actually been in Kyle’s car before. It was a sleek little thing, and it moved with the speed and grace of a snake. Or maybe that was just Kyle’s driving.
“You want to slow down a little, Kyle, or have you not had enough brushes with death this weekend?” I said, glancing over at him.
He took a deep breath and shifted down. “Sorry.” His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. “I’m just a little pissed, that’s all.”
“Just a little?” I murmured, looking out the window. I heard him chuckle. “I have to admit, seeing you fighting with Adam made me wonder why you’re a musician.”
“I have a BA in Music,” Kyle said, and I stared at him. He glanced at me. “You thought I was just a pretty face, huh?”
I laughed and shook my head. “I didn’t expect that.”
He chuckled again. “Well, what else would I be?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, settling back in my seat. “A boxer? A hit man?” He snickered. “No, wait; a football player. Definitely football.”
He flashed me a grin. “How do you think I got to college?”
“Really?” I raised both eyebrows.
He nodded, slowing the car in front of the house. “Yep. Full scholarship and everything.” He pulled into the driveway. “Then I blew out my knee first season. Picked up a guitar and never looked back.” He stopped the car and turned to me. “Charlie, I...” He paused, then gave a frustrated growl. “No. Inside,” he said, getting out and slamming the door. Before I could reach for the handle, he’d already opened my door.
I followed him into the house. Arthur was waiting for him.
“Sir?”
“Busy, Arthur.” Kyle grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the stairs.
“Sir,” Arthur said again, and Kyle turned on him.
“Is it on fire, Arthur?” he said shortly.
Arthur raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “No, sir.”
“Bleeding to death?”
Arthur gave a dry chuckle. “No, sir.”
“Then it can wait.” As we climbed the stairs, I looked back at Arthur. He was smiling faintly.
Kyle pulled me into his room and slammed the door, then pushed me against it. His mouth was on mine before I could say anything, and he kissed me with the desperation of a man who believes it’s his last night on Earth.
“This is bullshit,” he said hoarsely, lowering his mouth to my throat and kissing the place where he’d first marked me. “I can’t fucking do this, Charlie. I can’t pretend you’re not mine.” I bit my lip to stifle a moan. The fire racing through my veins was enough to make my legs tremble. “If he ever comes near you again, I’ll fucking kill him.” We both knew who he was talking about.
“Kyle,” I whispered, and he raised his head. His eyes were bright with tears. “Kyle, you –”
He kissed me again, hard. “No,” he murmured, his lips still brushing against mine. “There’s no more me. No more you.” He tugged off my blazer, and it fell at my feet. “It’s us. Us against the whole fucking world.” He snapped the spider clip from my low ponytail and threw it over his shoulder, driving his hands into my hair. The passion in his kiss was like nothing I’d ever felt.
I pushed against his chest, and he lifted his mouth from mine. “Kyle, is this really what you want?” I could hardly breathe, and the look in his eyes was making me dizzy.
“Want?” He stared at me. “I’m past wanting, Charlie.” Another kiss, even more raw than the last. “I need you.” I moaned, and he caught it with his lips, his tongue thrusting against mine. My whole world was filled with the taste of his mouth and the spicy scent of his cologne and the feel of his hard, muscular body pressed against me.
I dragged my nails over his chest, and he pulled me towards the bed. He grabbed my blouse with both hands and ripped it open, lowering his head to my breasts and dragging his teeth against the satin cups of my bra. In the back of my mind, I thought weren’t we were supposed to talk?, but we were past words, now. I tugged at the zipper on my skirt and pushed it down over my hips, and he groaned against my breasts.
“Please, Charlie,” he whispered, reaching behind me and unclasping my bra. He pulled it off me and pressed his lips to one of my nipples, licking and sucking at it. I moaned again and ran my fingers through his hair. He pulled me down onto his lap and dropped onto the bed. The headboard slammed against the wall as he landed, but his mouth never left me, and his hands were roaming over my body as if he owned it.
I leaned back a little, tugging at his shirt, and he broke away long enough for me to slip it over his head. Then his hands were on me again, his mouth at my other breast, his lips and teeth and tongue driving me crazy. I gasped his name, and he moaned into my skin. I could feel the pressure of his cock, hard under his jeans, and I rocked myself against him as he kissed his way up my chest, over my collarbone.
“Kyle, I –” He stole the words from my mouth, and I gave in, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my hands in his soft hair. He was lifting his hips, sliding his jeans down, and I knelt up just enough, giving him room to move. I felt him kick off his jeans, heard the metal rivets clatter against that stupid Swedish dresser, and then he pulled me close again.
My heart was pounding so hard, I could hear it, or maybe it was the blood rushing through me as he slipped his fingers under my panties, finding my wet heat. I moaned and threw my head back, and I heard a tearing sound as the muscles in his broad shoulders flexed under my hands. He pulled the ruined silk away, and we were skin to skin once more, the warmth of his body pressing insistently against mine.
He grabbed my hips and drew me forward roughly, sliding me against his cock. “Charlie.” His voice was edged with desperation. “Charlie, I can’t wait.” It didn’t matter. Neither could I. I was already soaked, drowning in my own desire. My need for him. I lifted myself over him, and he groaned as I lowered myself onto that beautiful steel shaft, my own moans loud and wordless.
His arms went around me again, and he pulled me down, kissing me fiercely as he drove himself deeper, grinding his hips against me. He dropped his hand and his fingers found my clit, circling it, and I closed my eyes as a wave of passion swept over me. “More,” I gasped, and I heard him moan as he teased me, pinching and rubbing that perfect spot. I cried out, my aching pussy clenching and squeezing around him.
He grabbed the back of my neck and yanked me down, his teeth against my throat. He bit down on my pulse as I climaxed, pain becoming pleasure, and I lost myself in the feel of his mouth and his cock and his hands, and the knowledge that he needed me as much as I needed him.
“Mine,” he whispered into my throat. He thrust up against me once more. “You’re mine, Charlie. I need you so bad it hurts.” His hands were on my hips again, lifting me, dropping me back down onto his rock-hard length. He groaned and bowed his head. “Fuck, Charlie.” His breathing was ragged and rough. “Oh, fuck. I don’t ever...” He slammed himself into me, and I moaned. “...ever...” Another hard thrust, and I felt like my whole world was about to shatter. “...want to be without you.”
I whimpered, feeling another ripple starting in me. He must have sensed it.
“Do it,” he said roughly. “Fucking do it, Charlie. Come for me.” I bit my lip and rocked against him, chasing my orgasm. “Hurry, Charlie. Oh god, please...” He drove his hands into my hair and pulled me down, plunging his tongue into my mouth, and I felt that wave sweep over me again, carrying me away as if I were nothing more than a leaf caught in a rushing mountain stream.
He wrapped his arms around me, his hands splayed over my back as he held me tightly against his chest. His cock throbbed and pulsed inside me, and he groaned into my shoulder as he came. He thrust against me again, pulling me down at the same time, our hips meeting once more, and he murmured my name.
“My Charlie.” I shuddered deliciously in the warmth of his arms, trying to catch my breath, feeling the pounding of his heart against mine. His fingers stroked my back, dancing over my skin, and I shivered again. He trailed tiny kisses over my shoulder and along my collarbone, before gently licking the hollow of my throat. I could feel his smile, and a gentle, comfortable warmth started to spread through my chest.
At last he leaned back against the headboard, his face lifted to me. His eyes were fixed on the fresh bite mark on my throat. “Fuck, that’s beautiful,” he whispered. His gaze shifted to my face. “You’re beautiful.” He gently brushed my hair back, then cupped my cheek and pulled me down. His kiss was slow and tender, and my heart felt like it would burst.
I settled against his chest, my head resting on his shoulder. He brushed his fingers against my neck. “I’ll never get tired of seeing that,” he said softly, and I smiled.
“I’ll never get tired of wearing it,” I murmured, and he grinned down at me.
“Good,” he said, kissing my forehead. “Because the minute it’s gone, you’re getting another one.” He studied it for a moment longer. “And no more fucking scarves.” The was a soft growl starting low in his chest. “No make-up. Nothing to hide it.”
I lifted my head. The boys wouldn’t care, but there was something else to consider. “What about Walter and Natasha?”
He rubbed his chin, the long bristles scratching against his palm. “I’ll take care of them.” He held me tightly, and I put my head back on his shoulder and snuggled against him, but my mind was racing.
Now? If not now, when?
“Kyle, I...” I traced the lines of ink on his arm, following the dragon’s tail down to his wrist. I took a deep breath. “I think I might be...” God, this was hard.
He blinked down at me. “Fuck, you’re not pregnant, are you?”
I burst out laughing and hugged him tightly. “No, no,” I said quickly, and he blew out a relieved breath. “No, nothing like that.” I sat up, feeling him shift inside me. My cheeks were hot. I took his face in my hands and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. My heart was pounding again, and I was starting to feel a little queasy.
It’s like ripping off a bandage, Charlie. Just say it.
“Kyle, I’m...” I swallowed nervously. I could barely speak above a whisper. “I’m in love with you.”
He stared at me, his eyes wide.
Once it had been said, the words just poured out. I couldn’t stop them.
“I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way,” I said, my words running together. He lifted my hands away from his face, still staring. “And I know that the timing is really bad.” He slid his fingers into my hair, his eyes never leaving mine. “But I just needed you to know how I felt, becau–”
His lips were on mine before I could finish, and the intensity and hunger in his kiss was enough to make my mind go blank. He rocked his hips up, and I felt his cock stiffen inside me, throbbing and insistent. I moaned into his mouth, and he drove his tongue against mine as he thrust himself into me again and again.
He never stopped kissing me. Not when he dropped a hand to my breast and rolled my stiffened nipple between his fingers. Not when he grabbed my hips and held on tightly as he moved me over his cock, burying himself deep inside my warmth. Not even when I climaxed again, my body clutching at him in need and desperation.
It was only when he was close that he lifted his mouth and whispered against my lips.
“Say it again.”
I could barely speak past the feel of his strong hands on me and his warm body against mine.
“I’m... I’m in love with you, Kyle.”
He groaned as he filled me, as his steel hardness flexed and jerked inside me. “Again,” he gasped, and I did my best to catch my breath and say the words. It was a little easier the third time.
“I’m in love with you, Kyle Chase,” I whispered, and he bucked his hips against me, his teeth clenched as he came. He pulled me into another kiss, passionate and needy, and my heart started to ache. Even if he couldn’t say it, it was there in his touch; in the feel of his hands on me and his mouth against mine. It was there in the beating of his heart.
It was there in the music our bodies made as we moved together.
Again.
But I forgot that every song eventually has to end. Even the most beautiful.