Chapter Nineteen

Garrett

The mess had almost been cleared out, leaving Stefanie’s living room empty.

“We need to get your hand checked out.”

“Yeah,” he rasped, clenching his hand open and closed, unable to hide the wince from the bite of pain that radiated through it.

“Come on. We can take you back to my place and have Val look it over. She will tell us if we gotta take you to the hospital.”

“Bry—” His voice cracked. He couldn’t say anything else. How could he? He had messed up.

No, he’d FUBAR’d it all up.

Everything.

“I know.” Bryan patted him on the back. “It’ll be alright, okay? Donnie is down at the trash. He comes back up, we can wake Stefanie up, so she can go with us—”

“No. She needs to sleep.” Garrett gritted his teeth. “I’ll leave her a note.”

“Look G, I know this relationship is new, but I don’t think—”

“She doesn’t need to get more tangled up with my crap,” he bit out.

“You didn’t hurt her.”

“This time,” he bit. This time, he hadn’t hurt her. But what about the next? Or the time after that? The shit in his head was never going to get out. It would never leave him.

“Man, you wouldn’t lay a hand on her, and we both know that,” Bryan argued, but Garrett wasn’t so sure. He’d seen the living room, and he couldn’t remember picking up half the shit he had. But in the recess of his mind he knew she’d been there. Small glimpses of her face, shocked and distraught, kept popping up. He’d be damned if he ever risked hurting her.

“We should get going.”

“Man, I’m telling you, don’t do this. Don’t leave her here, alone, after—” Bryan kept talking, but Garrett wasn’t having it.

“If I took her, she would just be in the fucking way,” he hissed. The words felt like lead in the pit of his gut, mixing with the pain from his hand.

“Garrett.” If he had been in his right state of mind, he would have heard the warning in his youngest brother’s voice, but he wasn’t.

“She’s—”

“G.”

“Nothing,” he bit out. “Just a fucking distraction, and I’m obviously done with it.”

“Jesus.”

“Its true,” he gritted, his hands shaking as he clenched them into fists. “She’s fine staying here. She won’t care. She’d be in the way anywhere else, and she would be the first to tell you.”

“In the way.” The softness of her voice made Garrett shut his eyes as she repeated what he’d just said. She was behind him. She’d heard.

Garrett opened them. He looked at Bryan, who was now staring down at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the world. Clenching his jaw, he knew what he had to do even though he didn’t want to. He turned, ready to respond, bringing up the courage to be an asshole to her, so she would let him go, but he should have known better.

Stefanie Banks was a force of her own to be reckoned with, and she wasn’t going to let him have the last word. “You should get going,” she said, no malice or emotion in her voice. That wasn’t her style; it was his.

“Stef.” He swallowed hard. Jesus, he was a pussy. He fucking loved her.

The light reflected as Donnie chose that damn moment to open the door, and he caught sight of the charm around her neck. He had just given her that. How did it suddenly feel like a lifetime ago since he’d been looking through jewelry with Marcus in his movie trailer?

“Your hand needs to be looked at.” She stood ramrod straight. His hands ached.

Not from pain but the need to touch her. Jesus, she was strong. She didn’t show a drop of emotion, of pain he knew he’d brought to her with his callous words.

“Bryan, could you call me and let me know how it goes?” she requested, killing him with kindness. Garrett wasn’t stupid. She was deliberately ignoring him now.

Pride hit his gut, and he stepped back from her.

Fine! She didn’t want to try and hash it out, he didn’t need to be there. He didn’t need anybody. Fuck everyone and everyone’s goddamn opinions.

Without a second look in her direction, he walked out and stood just outside the front door. Heard her and Bryan talk in hushed tones. His youngest brother encouraging his little bit of sunshine not to give up on him.

But she would.

She should.

After he’d destroyed her home, it would be stupid of her not to.

_______________

Garrett was a lucky son of a bitch.

Or at least that was what Bryan had told him. Then Donnie had repeated the sentiment, and Marc re-established it over the phone later. His hand was okay. Bad sprain, cuts that had needed a total of twenty-seven stitches throughout it, but it wasn’t broken.

A day passed.

And another.

And another.

Days turned into a week and then two.

Stefanie was never far from his thoughts. Hell, he didn’t think she ever left his head.

But he was a stupid, stubborn son of a bitch.

He didn’t call. He didn’t text. Nothing.

And neither did she.

His phone rang, and hope and dread washed through him. He grabbed the phone, answering it without checking. His voice rumbled, “Hello?”

“Garrett, long time, no talk,” a low familiar voice said. He took a peek at who it was. Martin McKenzie. An old buddy from the army who had been on leave the day of the attack. A buddy in arms who he hadn’t spoken to since he had been given his discharge papers a couple of years ago.

His friend, not his girl. Damn it. Disappointment hit, and Garrett sighed.

“Hey, Marty.”

“Hey man, how you doing?” he asked. The words I’m fine were on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t say them. He’d done enough lying for the week.

“Had better days.” Garrett’s voice sounded hoarse in his own ears as he leaned back against the couch in the game room of the big house. Stretching out, even two weeks later his body felt stiff.

Looking around the place felt all wrong. The house he’d called home was now too big for him. Him. Garrett Wright, who wanted nothing but space and to be left alone, suddenly didn’t like it, and he knew who he had to blame for that. He’d gotten used to the small apartment out in the middle of nowhere. No. It wasn’t the space, the walls of the apartment, but the woman inside of it.

“Wanna meet up?” Marty asked. That caught his attention. If he remembered right, Marty McKenzie lived on the east coast.

“You’re in California?” Garrett asked, surprised.

“Something like that. I gotta be honest, I’m calling for a reason.”

“Okay,” he said slowly, wondering what the hell Marty was going to drop on him.

“I’m recruiting.”

“For the Army?” he asked, feeling guilty for not having tried to keep in touch with him. “Man, I was discharged, I can’t—”

“No. I know. Look, I wanna throw something out there, but not if it’s gonna disrupt your life.”

“Disrupt how?

“I have a job offer. What do you think about becoming an instructor?” Instructor. He sat up straight and rested his elbows on his knees.

“What?” His body stilled. A couple of months ago, he would have been all over this opportunity. This would have been it.

“Some training is being outsourced, and I’m working for the middle man now. State-of-the-art building right outside of base. The training facility took for fucking ever to get built, but it’s up and running now.”

“I’m out of the Army, Marty.”

“I know that, G. All I’m suggesting is, you come and check the place out. I get you wanted to be a career man, and life dealt us shit hands. But doesn’t mean you can’t still be part of it. Train these kids for a semester. One semester to see how you like it. This is contracted out, and for you, I’m willing to go semester by semester.”

“I don’t know—”

“You could teach these kids a thing or two, Garrett.”

“I don’t know, man—”

“Unless you’re just as old and out of shape as I think you are, then hey, I get it,” Marty teased, and Garrett found himself rolling his eyes.

“What? Fuck you, man. Out of shape, my ass.” He chuckled. “Where’s this set up?”

“Germany.”

“Go to Germany?”

“Don’t say no. Think about it and get back to me. We can do lunch, and I can give you more details. Show you the place.”

“Do lunch? Fuck, man, you’re really adjusting to civilian life, huh?”

“Funny,” Marty teased back. “Look, I don’t need a definite answer for a couple of weeks.”

“I don’t know, man… I’m—”

“Fine?” his buddy cut him off. “Just think about it, yeah?” Marty asked, and Garrett took a moment.

“Sure,” he finally said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Could I go to Germany?

“Room and board and travel expenses would be covered,” Marty added, and Garrett’s lips twitched.

“You trying to sell me on it at the same time you tell me to think about it?”

“I gotta try, man. You’re my first pick for this.” Garrett sighed.

“Regardless of what I decide, thanks for the offer, man.”

“So… How’s civilian life treating you? You adjusted?”

“Trying to, at least,” he honestly shared. Am I though?

He wasn’t working. Not technically.

The offer to do stunt work for another movie was still on the table. Not that he needed the money. Every investment he made was sound, making money hand over fist thanks to Marc and Donnie’s projects. But he didn’t have a job. Something that kept him busy and gave him purpose. He missed having a purpose.

The only thing he had was his girl, and he hadn’t had the balls to even text her, much less face her.

“You had a knack for teaching, Garrett,” Marty pointed out. He wasn’t wrong. He had enjoyed teaching, and hadn’t it been something he had toyed about doing once he was a couple of years further in his career? “You could do that there. Teach these kids.”

“Let me think about it.”

“I’ll take it. It’s not a no, which is what I honestly thought was what you’d say to me.” His friend paused. “Unless there’s a reason you wanna stay stateside?” Marty was too fucking observant for his own good.

Garrett couldn’t help but picture Stefanie and his time with her.

Her body under his.

Her smile before she left for work.

The way she cuddled into him anytime they were in the same room together. Or was it him who had pulled her into him?

Her telling him to get his hand checked, blood smeared on the wall behind her as she stood in the mess he’d left her place.

“No,” he said, his voice like gravel. “Nothing like that. There’s no one,” he lied. Things couldn’t go further than where he had already let them go.

He wasn’t any good for her. She deserved more than he could give her emotionally. She was just a distraction, he reminded himself, ignoring the way his heart clenched in his chest.

“I’ll give you an answer by Monday,” he said.

“Sounds good, man.” The call ended, and Garrett scrolled through his contacts. It was time to do what he had been putting off.

Stefanie

My phone dinged, and I slipped it out of the drawer of my desk and snuck a peek at it. A sigh of relief left me when I saw it was a text from Garrett. As I unlocked the phone, dread filled every pore when I read his message, and I wished I hadn’t read it.

Garrett: Meet me at the hotel, our room, after work.

The hotel.

The fucking hotel. That’s where he wanted to meet? After everything, that’s how he wanted to play this?

The beginning of the end, a voice played in the back of my head, and I swallowed hard trying to shake it off. No. That’s not what he was doing. He’d said we were a two-way-street kind of relationship. He’d promised. Touching the charm I was religious about wearing, I heard his words play in my head. No one else I’d rather be stuck with than with you.

The nightmare had been a setback, but shit happened. He was coming back. If he was going to end it, he wouldn’t come all the way out here to do it. Not when he could text it.

I believed in us. I believed he did, too. But even so, if he thought I was going to ask ‘how high’ when he said ‘jump,’ he had something else coming.

I wasn’t anyone’s play thing. Not now. Not ever.

Sending a thumb-up emoji as a response, I had my own game plan to come up with. I’d show up at the hotel when I was ready. Not on his terms.

_______________

Dressed in the denim skirt I knew he liked and a hunter-green tank top, my hair smooth and silky, and wearing my makeup like armor, I knocked on the door two hours later than he had been expecting me.

He swung the door open, and our eyes met. For a moment, he looked worried, but that quickly changed as his eyes took me in. From head to toe I felt his gaze like a touch, and by the time our eyes met again, his nose was flaring and his jaw clenched.

“You go to work wearing that?” he gritted, and I rolled my eyes, even though I was glad I still had some kind of effect on him.

“Hi to you, too.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“No.” I folded my hands across my chest and sighed. “I went home to wind down and changed.”

“I told you to come after work, I’ve been waiting.”

“Do you want to wait longer? I can go hang at Lunar with Kip and Alex,” I bit back. Garrett’s face turned to stone, trying to intimidate me. I wanted to laugh and scream at him all at the same time. “If you wanted me to come here to argue, I’m gonna go home. I don’t need to—”

“You’re right.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his freshly cut hair. My hands dropped. I quickly stuffed them into the front pockets of my skirt, so I wouldn’t do anything stupid, like touch him.

“Hungry?” he asked, pointing at the pizza box on the table before taking a step inside the room. “I got your favorite.”

“You hate my favorite,” I pointed out. He wasn’t a fan of mushrooms, and I loved them.

“I had them make half and half,” he shared, taking a small step forward. With guarded eyes I looked up at him.

“Garrett—”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and I closed my eyes. Tears prickled at the back of my eyelids as those two words washed over me. I could feel his body heat. “I’m sorry. I… I hadn’t had a nightmare in a long time. I should have warned you. I’ll replace everything. I promise,” he rasped, his voice tortured. His hand took mine, and when I opened my eyes, he was looking at me.

“You think I care about those things?” I asked calmly.

“You’re pissed,” he pointed out, dropping my hand and stepping further into the room. I followed him. Closing the hotel door behind me, I took in the space. A small duffel bag sat on a chair. A duffel was good. It meant he didn’t plan on jetting out of here tonight, right?

“I’m pissed because you haven’t called me.”

“Baby—” I put my hand up, and he stopped talking.

“Two weeks, Garrett! I’m pissed because you kept saying we were a two-way street. How I had to let you be there for me, but when first thing pops out on your end, you say I’d be in the way?” I unfairly threw his words in his face and regretted it immediately.

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

“You said you were done. That I was a distraction.” I couldn’t seem to stop.

“I was… I didn’t mean it.”

“I know!” I strangled out, dropping my shoulders before pointing at the box. “But it still hurt, and it hurt more because I didn’t hear from you.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. I wanted to believe him. He was sincere, but there was a shadow of something behind his eyes that wouldn’t let me trust his words completely.

“So, pep and mushrooms?”

“With a pan crust.”

“You said pan crust was just extra unnecessary carbs.”

“But you like it.” My stomach chose that moment to growl, and his stony expression softened. When I stepped in closer, his scent infiltrated my senses, weakening my defenses. “Let me feed you,” he softly said, taking my hand in his. I let him.

We ate pizza on the bed while an old episode of The Office played in the background. We made small talk, about anything but his nightmare or the last two weeks. One episode turned into two, and two turned into three. Slowly, he moved in, closing the space between us, and before I knew it, I was resting my head on his shoulder, in my favorite spot in the whole wide world as I watched Jim mess with Dwight.

“How can you watch this?” he mumbled, and I smiled against his shoulder.

“It’s funny.”

“It’s kind of lame, sunshine,” he whispered. Something about his tone or maybe the fact he called me by the nickname he had been adamant about placing on me made me look up at him. His dark gaze was set on my lips. I sat up, not moving away from him but shifting closer.

“You like it,” I teased.

“Hmm…” His chest rumbled appreciatively when my chest brushed against his. I was done with the weirdness between us.

“I missed you,” I whispered against his bearded cheek.

“I…” He swallowed hard, obviously struggling with what to say, and I gave in. I made the first move I had promised myself while I got ready I wouldn’t make.

I straddled his lap. My skirt rode up my thighs, and his hands automatically moved to the skin there. “Sunshine.” The strangled tone in his voice said it all.

“I get it.” And I did. He was embarrassed about what had happened.

“Things happen,” I murmured against his lips. I wanted to cheer when his hands moved from my thighs to my back, pulling me even closer to him. “But we get over them. We move on.”

“Stef.”

“Make love to me,” I requested, nervousness sinking to my belly.

“Fuck,” he groaned, resting his forehead against mine, hiding his melted chocolate gaze from me.

“Please,” I pleaded. I was desperate and unashamed. How could I be when I was safe anytime I was in his arms? It’d been too long. I needed him. I needed his touch. His affection. Everything.

“We need to talk,” he mumbled before taking my lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it before letting it go with a pop.

“We can talk after,” I muttered back, my hands stroking the length of his shoulders then back to his neck. Whatever he wanted to talk about couldn’t be bad if he was touching me back, right?

“Stef.”

“Please. I need you,” I whispered and gasped at the feel of his hands tangling in my hair.

“You’re my weakness, sunshine.” He lifted us up easily, reminding me of his strength. It made me kiss him back harder. “You’re like a drug, my favorite addiction.” My legs tightened around his waist.

“Is that bad?” I gasped, feeling the edge of his hardness against my sex. Pinning me against the wall much like our first times in the hotel, he took me.

He kissed me until we were both nothing but a ball of need and hunger. Our clothes fell off in a flurry of fast-moving hands and heavy breathing.

Something overcame me, and I made him put me down and led him to a chair next to the bed. I was desperate. Desperate to show him everything I felt for him. That nothing could push me away. That if he wanted, we could have this. I’d be by his side through the good and the bad.

“What are you doing, baby?”

“Shh…” I whispered against his bare collarbone.

Damn. My man’s chest was sexy. Fanning my lips lightly over his skin, I felt his body tense.

“Do you know how flipping sexy you are?” I complimented and didn’t miss his blush beneath his closely trimmed beard.

“Stef, what are you—” I glanced up as he was talking and was hypnotized by the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. I smiled.

“You’re wearing too much.” He might have only been in boxer briefs, and I was naked as the day I was born, but too much was covering the part of him I craved.

My hands lightly scraped down his chiseled chest, the dark coarse hair tickling my palm as I reached for the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled them down as I kneeled in front of him. My hands stroked up and down his thighs and calves.

“Fuck, sunshine,” he growled, his nose flaring. I smiled up at him.

“So much strength.” I kissed the front of his left thigh, then moved to kiss the right one, ignoring the bobbing appendage in front of me, cupping his balls gently in my hands, not missing the sharp hiss from between his lips.

I glanced up, and our eyes connected. Without another word, I brought my tongue out and licked him from base to tip, swirling around his leaking tip and back down.

“Mmm,” I moaned against the base of his shaft. “I love the way you taste.”

“Fuck,” he cursed through his clenched jaw.

“Do you like when I taste you?” I teased, licking my way up slowly, making sure to follow the vein of his cock and give it attention before reaching the head and bringing him into my mouth.

His loud growl made my thighs clench. I loved the noises he made when he was lost in the moment. I held his balls and bobbed slowly up and down his length, letting the wetness of my mouth coat and lubricate him. There was something about worshipping him that was a complete turn-on. I might have been the one on her knees, with his dick in my mouth as I brought him toe-curling pleasure, but there was no doubt in my mind that I was the one in control.

Sucking him deep, hallowing my cheeks, I let him go with a pop. “Sit down, baby,” I pleaded in a soft, raspy voice, and he did. I moved, settling between his muscular thighs, his thick dick standing at attention, hard and shiny from having been in my mouth. I stroked him as I licked slowly. Teasing him. Making his body even tenser and me drunk on lust.

“Do you like that, soldier? Am I taking care of you, baby?” I flirted, trying my hand at being the dirt talk initiator. His head fell back, but even so, he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off me.

“What are you doing, Stef?” he gritted, and I wickedly grinned.

“What do you mean, baby?” I asked, feigning innocence as my grip around his dick tightened and I spit on the tip. “Don’t you like me taking care of you?” I smirked. “You like when I take you nice and slow, don’t you, Garrett?” I opened my mouth and hesitated when he took over the reins of the moment.

“You know exactly what I mean, baby. Be a good girl and put me in your mouth.” Damn, he was so much better at this than me! I opened my mouth and took as much of him as I could. In and out. Slowly at first, smiling around his thickness when he growled.

“Quit playing, or I’ll punish that sweet ass of yours later.”

“Mmm,” I moaned around him, letting him slip from between my lips. “Promises, promises,” I teased as I licked and stroked him.

“Suck my dick, sunshine. Put me back in your pretty little mouth.”

“Show me how.”

“Stef.”

“You won’t hurt me.”

“I’m on edge. I might—”

“Get rough?” I interrupted. The idea of him losing control only made me ache, but I could see the war waging within him. “I want to. Please?” I didn’t know what tsunami of desire washed over me, but it was something fierce. I wanted to please him on my knees as he took what he wanted, exactly the way he needed.

“Damn it, Stef.” I could see he wanted what I was offering. The trust I was handing him of taking what he needed without hurting me.

“You won’t hurt me,” I gently repeated, and he swallowed hard, but I saw the moment he made his decision.

Taking my hair in his hand at the base of my head like a ponytail, he leaned forward and cupped my face with his free hand. “Tap on the back of my calves when you want me to stop.”

“Yes.”

“I’m serous, Stefanie.”

“I promise,” I whispered, and he leaned back, moving me forward. “Lick me. Get my shaft nice and wet, sunshine.” And just like that, we were back to playing.

I followed his directions. The control might have shifted, but the power still coursed through me. He pulled me away. The slight sting of my hair being pulled only added to the ache between my thighs.

“Open,” he grunted his instructions, and before my heart could skip a beat, he was filling my mouth. Slowly, he worked as much of him I could take, pushing me slowly to take more and more of him. It made me feel drunk. Drunk on lust and passion as it mixed with the relief of not losing him. He was here with me. We’d had a setback, but we were moving forward. This was us starting over, and I couldn’t help but give more by taking more.

It was sloppy and wet. My eyes teared up, but my hands stayed on his knees. Never moving toward his calves to silently plead with him to stop. If anything, I whined when he pulled me back.

“Stand!” he barked, and I did.

Getting on my feet, I watched his body slide lower on the chair, his ass at the edge and his finger crooking at me, a sexy little smirk on his face.

“Ride me, sunshine. Light up for me,” he grunted. My nipples only stiffened harder.

With a lick to my lips, I straddled him, my legs wide open as I sank down. There was no foreplay or grace. I was too hungry for him. The sting of his cock stretching me made my mouth run dry. My eyes closed, and my head tipped back. Not too far because he was right there, holding the back of my head as our mutual groans filled the room.

“Fuck, Stef, you okay?” His hand bit into my hip.

“Mhmm,” I breathed through my pressed lips as I opened my eyes and righted my body, my hands on his chest. He moved one over his heart, and I got lost further down the rabbit hole that was everything Garrett Wright.

“Garrett, baby…” I whispered, needing him to take over but unable to summon the words. But I didn’t need words with him. We were connected in such a way I knew he’d know. He would always give me what I needed, and because of his generous, selfless heart, it would always be more.

He sat up and pulled me closer. He stood, taking us both to the bed, where he gently laid me down, our bodies never disconnecting as my hands held on to the back of his head. Gone was the dirty girl. I needed the closeness I had only ever felt with him.

“More,” I breathed, and more he gave.

Thrust after thrust, we clung to one another. Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned into specks of stardust. I didn’t want the moment to end. I didn’t want to lose the feel of his body wrapped around mine.

But nothing lasts forever.

Just as he growled, filling me with the hot ribbons of his release, I fell over the edge. A silent tremor coursed through my body as I clenched around him and prayed he would never let me go.

I held on after his body gave out and the weight of him fell on top of me as he fought for breath.

I held on tighter trying to bat away the tingle fear that tried to creep in.

“I love you,” I whispered into his ear. “I love you so much, Garrett.” My fingers tightened around the back of his hair as I gulped for oxygen to fill my own lungs.

His face lifted from my neck. He peppered kisses over my jaw down to my collarbone and above my breast. I knew he could feel my heart beating for him and only him at that moment.

He moved up toward my neck, his nose nuzzling the sensitive skin under the charm.

“You’re wearing it,” he acknowledged almost as if he were talking to himself, but I wasn’t going to let him go into his head. I needed him to know I was here, and I was his. So, I found the courage to move my hands from the back of his head, so I could cup his handsome face.

“I never took it off.”

“I’m here.” He kissed the skin over my heart again, and I nodded. “I don’t deserve it,” he spoke out loud, and I made the very conscious decision to ignore it. Kissing his lips, I smiled at him as he moved, shifting us so he could spoon me. His long, strong body behind me, shielding me from anything that could hurt me.

“Sleep, Stef,” he whispered in my ear, pulling the sheets over us and keeping me close as he tangled his legs with mine.

“I love it when you do that,” I shared. I needed him to know. To know everything and anything I felt just in case there was any way, any possibility I had read the situation wrong and he was actually saying goodbye.