IVY
“Let go of me!” I hollered and kicked as they carried me back into the private room for my lawyer visit…the lawyer I didn’t ask for. “I said let go! I have the right to deny legal counsel! Do you hear me?”
What kind of bullshit was this?
They just ignored me, buzzing the door open, carrying me all the way to my seat, and dropping me down. When the asshat bent down to tie me to the podium, I noticed it wasn’t the black lawyer across from me, but an old woman sitting very calmly, dressed in a dark purple coat, black sweater, with pearls around her neck, along with a black sun hat.
“So they gave up on the black man and sent a grandmamma to try and sign my soul away. It ain’t happening. Guard!” I yelled and the door opened. However, the guard paid me no attention. He simply walked over to the old lady with a tea cup.
“I’m sorry, we had no cream,” Jimmy said in the politest voice I’d ever heard. “Is there anything else I can get you, Mrs. Callahan?”
My head whipped back at the old woman and before I could help myself I tried to lunge at her and I would have ripped her head off her shoulders if it weren’t for the damn chains.
“Sit down!” Jimmy snapped back to his old self, already pulling out his taser.
“I’m quite fine. You may leave.”
“Are you sure, ma’am—”
The look she gave him made him swallow unnecessarily. He glared at me as if to say behave and walked toward the doors.
“You have some nerve—”
“Don’t speak. You only make yourself look imprudent.” She dared to interrupt me, pressing play on a tablet I didn’t even notice was in front of me, until just now, before picking up her tea cup.
The screen was fuzzy for a moment before finally focusing perfectly on…
“Daddy?” I sat up.
“Hey, birdy…” He smiled even though he looked…he looked just like I remembered. Blond-graying hair, brown eyes, and in need of a shave. Before he spoke again she paused it.
“What is this?” I sneered, glaring back at her.
“You believe we killed your family? Well, you’re wrong. I figured you wouldn’t believe us…luckily, your father used to be more reasonable—”
“Don’t talk about my father.”
“Fine, you don’t want to hear his final words. I’ll leave.”
“Wait.” I reached for the tablet. “Wait.”
Without another word, she pressed play again and I heard his voice for the first time in…in what felt like a lifetime.
“If you’re watching this I’m probably gone. The boss told me to make a whole bunch of these videos for you just in case…just in case something happened…he comes off as this hard-ass, but he’s a good man, or at the very least he gets what it’s like having a daughter…wait, ugh…sorry. This probably makes no sense and…sorry.”
The screen cut off.
“No—” But before I even got the word out, he was back on the screen again, this time in a different V-neck shirt, his hair as messy as ever.
“So I’m going to make this one video. You know I ain’t that good with words, birdy.” He winked at me. He always did that when he was nervous. “First. I want to apologize. Apologize for making you grow up around all of this. For letting you suffer. I never wanted this for you. I wanted better, much better. But I couldn’t…knowing what that bastard did to your mother.” He bit his bottom lip, and I felt my tears burning my eyes. “If it weren’t for the Callahans, I would’ve probably been dead sooner. Maybe you too.”
My whole body relaxed, my mouth dropping open. “W-wh-what?”
“Yea. You heard me. The Callahans. I ain’t no traitor. Keegan.” He spat to his left. “That’s right, poor ol’ Uncle Keegan Finnegan. All of this is his fault. And why? What reason did he have to kill MY WIFE? ’Cause he wanted what the Callahans have! He’s got no money, barely a last name, or connections, and yet he keeps saying how he’s going to change things. My pop always said poverty fucks with you…makes you think you can do things you really can’t and start selling your soul for things that are priceless.” Again, he rubbed his chin, tears coming down his face.
“He was right. I never listened to him. Though maybe if I did I’d know how to read people better. It’s my fault, birdy. My fault. I wasn’t careful. I didn’t protect your mom or your aunt…hell, I can barely protect you. So listen to me, you hear?” He sat up, pointing to the camera. “I don’t know how much time I’ve got. But you ain’t ever listened to me in your life. Listen now. Remember the place where the one-eyed owl and cat live? It’s real. Go there. I’ve got some money stashed away. Take it and get the hell out of Boston. Don’t talk to any of them, not Shay, not your cousins. They’d cut out your own kidney and try to sell it back to you. And lastly, listen, birdy, if you ever, I mean ever get in trouble, call the Callahans and tell ’em you’re Sean O’Davoren’s daughter. Okay? They got you. What I always say…”
“They don’t make them any tougher than those from the Burren,” I said at the same time he did, wiping my face on the corner of my shirt. When I looked up the old lady just stared at me and so I stared back, unsure, not wanting to believe any of this.
“How do I know you didn’t make him say this?”
She shrugged. “We could’ve…but why would he tell you some secret place to pick up the money we paid him and not use a code to tell you he was being forced?”
“This is some sort of trick.”
“This is the truth and because you’ve convinced yourself we are the enemy for so long your brain can’t accept it…but, Ivy, did your father ever once directly tell you in private that the Callahans were to blame?”
I immediately wanted to say yes but nothing came to mind. Nothing. All the times in which he’d spoken out against the Callahans in public he’d never said anything when we were at home.
“I guess not. Fine, did he ever let you around your uncle or your cousins?”
Again I wanted to say yes, but my voice would not let me. As if I were dying, my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. How he’d always cut in when Uncle Keegan was talking to me. Or told me to study when my cousins came over. How he always just wrote it off as “guy stuff,” which pissed me off more. I thought he was trying to protect me from knowing against the Callahans not…
“No.” I shook my head. “No,” I repeated again, and she honestly looked worried. Not pitying me.
“Seven years ago, you came to Chicago with your stepsister, looking for evidence your father was murdered.” She didn’t need to ask because somehow, a photo of me and Rory caught at a tollbooth appeared on the screen. “You look surprised. Why? You went to almost every corner shop, mechanic and barber, you didn’t think we’d hear back?”
“I did,” I whispered, staring at photos of me that just appeared on the screen. It sent chills down my spine. They could do this. They could spy me on the streets. “I knew you’d hear and I figured—”
“To fearlessly ask directly…a last-ditch effort, which didn’t work.” She didn’t have to remind me. Those days would haunt me for the rest of my life. “You then went back to a bar where you drank your pain, drove drunk, and hit a young girl, paralyzing her from the waist down. You lost your scholarship at Boston U, your family went into debt trying to get you out, your fiancé left you, all because you wanted revenge so badly.”
My throat burned, my jaw clenched. Inhaling deeply, I nodded, owning up to it. “Yes. Yes, to all of it. I’m sure you have a full transcript of it and could ask the judge personally. I did something wrong and I’m owning up to it. And it isn’t I wanted revenge. It’s want. Present tense.”
Finished with her tea, she put the cup down. “You’re owning up to someone else’s crime.”
I froze at that. She didn’t reply. I glanced down at the screen again. On the corner of Bank and 5th, I saw the black Mustang rush down the dark road, just as Sarah Foster, I’d never forget her name, crossed the street, listening to her music and reading.
“Ah…” I gasped when I hit her. Her body went up on the dashboard and then rolled off, hitting the ground. I wanted to close my eyes but couldn’t, waiting to see myself. However, it wasn’t my blond hair…it was red. It was Rory. She came out of the car frantic, rushing to the girl, then looked around…in horror I watched as she pulled my blacked-out self from the passenger seat and into the front, closing the door before getting into my spot.
“How is that ownership feeling now?” She gutted what was left of me. “Your family isn’t in debt, by the way. The lawyer was a family friend of theirs and they barely paid him anything. Your former fiancé is now married to your stepsister.”
“What?”
She stared at me and then just snickered, shaking her head. “I apologize. I figured they told you, but I forgot your family doesn’t seem to understand the definition of family. From start to end you were set up and abandoned. Your cousins are even using you, saying that the Callahans had you locked up for asking questions…your sense of duty didn’t seem to come to play there…but hey, none of us are perfect.”
I sat in silence as she rose to her feet.
“That’s enough for the day. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
Frozen, the tears I held back for seven years, for seven long painful years, poured out of my eyes to the point that they burned. With each passing moment, I hurt more and more to the point that I wanted to…I wanted to die. I think I was dying…
I didn’t even realize they were walking me back, until I walked by the phone rooms.
“My phone call,” I whispered, brushing the tears off my face with my cuffed hands. “I haven’t taken one in months. I need to make a call.”
I looked at Jimmy.
He nodded for them to take me.
I wanted to run. But I waited patiently, as patiently as I could as they opened the doors, gave me the card, and sat me behind the table. I wiped my nose with my hands before pushing the buttons…praying they wouldn’t insult me by not answering.
“Ivy?” Rory’s voice came over the line.
“Hey...” I tried to say cheerfully, but my throat was dry.
“You have amazing timing! We’re having a get-together. The whole family is here. Do you want to say hi?”
Licking my lips, I nodded even though she couldn’t see. “Sure. Can you put me on the speaker?”
“Guys, it’s Ivy!”
“IVY!” I heard a chorus of cheers and I had to bite back the sob threatening to rip through me, my whole body shaking in rage.
“How’s the big house? You got any—”
“Shut up, Elroy,” Rory yelled.
“Stay strong, all right? It’s almost over,” Cillian’s deep voice spoke up.
“Yea. We can’t wait for you to get home,” Shay, my stepmother, spoke up next.
And I waited and waited…but he didn’t speak.
“Ivy? You there?”
“Yea,” I replied, gripping the phone tightly. “I was waiting for Pierce to speak.”
They were all silent.
“Pierce,” I called. “You aren’t going to say hi? I feel bad enough not being able to congratulate you and Rory on your marriage.”
Silence.
“For fuck’s sake, find your balls and speak!” I hollered.
“I—we—Ivy. I’m sorry,” his bitch ass finally said.
“Ivy, nothing happened before. We were both so sad about you—”
“Rory, do me a favor and shut your fucking mouth and stop insulting me, you little cunt.” I hissed.
“Ivy!” her mother yelled at me. “We didn’t want you to find out like this but don’t be like this.”
And I just laughed. “Be like what? Pissed? Oh no, Shay, I’m not pissed. I’m motivated. So fucking motivated I’m shaking with anticipation. Maybe you all have forgotten who the bloody fuck I am. But don’t worry, I’ll remind each and every one of you—”
“Ivy, I know—”
“I KNOW EVERYTHING!” I screamed, trying to keep calm. “You all know what you did to me. How each one of you betrayed me. We were family, but you betrayed me and now…I’m going to come for you all. I might have been blind when I came here, but believe me, now I see.”
“And what can you do from a prison cell eight hundred miles away?” Cillian asked. They weren’t even scared…I was worth nothing to them. That was what I meant.
“Seven years ago, I told you vengeance knows no boundaries and has no expiration date. I still believe that. So watch your front became I’ll be out real soon.” Slamming the phone on the receiver, I sat clenching my fist.
I want them dead.
I want them all dead.
***
I was already sitting and waiting when she came in. I couldn’t sleep. I just waited, sitting in the darkness, no food, no water. Nothing mattered but this.
“Good morning.” She sat across from me, wearing a long-sleeved, short, gray dress under her gray coat, and her pearls.
“What do I need to do?” I asked directly.
She frowned, accepting her new cup of tea. “The first thing is to politely greet people when spoken to. Manners aren’t just for appearances.”
“Good morning…how was your evening? What do I need to do?”
“Now that you know the truth, you can’t even apologize.” She smirked, taking a sip of her tea. “Which makes you already like so many people in my family.”
“You’ve shattered my whole world…excuse me if I hardly feel thankful.” I snapped, really wishing these damn zip ties were off my hands. “I just feel…so goddamn angry!”
“You are a mess, Ivy O’Davoren.” She smiled and nodded at me. “An angry, impulsive, reckless, lost, and utter mess of a woman. Whose life was ruined not by the people you’ve devoted yourself to hating but your own family. If you didn’t feel angry I’d worry about your sanity.”
“I’m sure you could have phrased that nicer.”
“I could have. But I don’t want you to feel good while you’re locked up like an animal. I want to see if you’re willing to do anything to get out of this hellhole and get justice. Because, Ivy, I can make you one of the most powerful women in this country. Anyone who hurt you both in the past and present will beg for mercy. You will want for nothing ever again. You father will rest assured, knowing the people who killed him and destroyed his family have been so thoroughly punished, it becomes a cautionary tale. But I can only do that if you’re sure.”
“I am. I’m sure. What do I have to do?” I said for the third time.
“Give up your last name.”
It was then that I was sure the devil was an old woman with a spectacular taste in fashion.
“I know that look.” She smirked. “But no, sweetheart, I’m not the worst. I’m just the old woman who’s been tasked to prepare you for the worst. So get scared now, let it out of your system, throw up if you need to, and when you’re done, we’ll get started.”
I swallowed the pocket of saliva in my mouth, sitting up now. “I’m fine.”
“Brilliant.” She opened her purse, taking out her phone to press only one button before looking back up at me. “Things are going to start happening very quickly. Is there anything you need?”
“I need?” I asked her.
She nodded. “Other than the obvious shower, shampoo, condition, wax, and…a lot. I can have them set you up in a private room. At least then you can shower and get rid of those horrid raccoon eyes. Food? Is there anything you want?”
“Food?”
“Please stop repeating everything I say.” She frowned and then shook her head. “Fine. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll let your brain catch up before I ask any more questions. Just make sure to eat and sleep…this you is over.”
She stood up and when she reached the doors, Jimmy ran back over to her like a fox with its tail between his legs.
“Ivy.” Her tone changed…eerily so and much politer. “This is Mr. Keely. Mr. Keely, this is Ivy. I’m re-introducing you to her because whoever she was to you before no longer compares to who she is now. If she stubs her big toe, I’ll blame you. If she’s uncomfortable in any way, I’ll blame you. If anyone knows I came here, I’ll blame you. Am I clear?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded at her.
“Brilliant. Please don’t forget, my grandson handles reminders very messily. I wouldn’t even want to imagine how angry he’d be if something happened to his fiancée.”
“His what?” Jimmy and I both said.
She didn’t reply to him and just patted my head gently. “Remember, eat, sleep…and maybe brush your hair, dear.”
Just like that she walked out, her heels clicking as she went.
“What the hell just happened?” I whispered.
“How the fuck should—” He paused, eyes wide when he looked back at me. “Ugh…I’ll arrange your room…ma…Ms. O’Davoren. How about you go eat? We can have something brought to you.”
No fucking way. If he didn’t look like he was in so much physical pain just getting the words out, I’d think I was dreaming. He didn’t bother asking anything else. Instead, he undid the zip ties around my wrists before reaching down and undoing the chains around my feet. Rubbing my sore wrists, I couldn’t stop staring at him, wondering what alien had hijacked his body. He didn’t even lift me up out of my chair.
“What day is it?” I asked.
“Tuesday.”
I smiled. “It’s spaghetti and meatballs at the caf today.”
“Suit yourself,” he muttered before speaking into his mic next. “Door.”
The door slid open in front of us.
I walked out first and immediately put my hands to my sides. When I stepped into the hall, I was convinced…this was the twilight zone. Three men had to carry me, handcuffed and chained, into that room not even an hour ago. I could see them, Mr. Muscle Head, Mr. Hot Breath, and the creeper with blue eyes, on the other side of the glass windows. They all looked at me as if I were the strange one. I hadn’t changed. I was still Ivy. They were the ones acting weird. They stared at me until I made eye contact, then pretended to be busy with something.
“Door,” Jimmy said again once we came to the end of the hall.
I didn’t realize we were in some other section of the prison until the door opened and I saw the control room.
“Walk quickly,” he said but didn’t rush me.
Nodding, I walked through fast, keeping my head down until I got to the metal stairs, which spiraled down until I got to the bottom.
“Door. General. One in,” Jimmy said and the door opened, and finally I knew where I was…the cafeteria.
He, thankfully, didn’t follow me in. And it was normal here, no one staring, so I quietly grabbed a tray and walked toward the line. I’d just placed the milk onto my tray when a pair of short, stubby hands reached out and took it.
“If it ain’t Psycho Ivy, everybody!”
Aww, come on! I didn’t have the energy for a fight today!
“Who’d you have to blow to get out of solitary—”
Before she could finish her sentence, someone grabbed her wrist, and we both looked up at this…middle-aged woman with olive skin and wavy black hair.
“Who the fuck are—”
The woman squeezed tighter, and I glanced around for the guards, but they were looking away…
“Non ho male a nessuno dal 1984...ma posso,” she said to her, and I would have guessed it was Spanish but judging from the confused look on her face I would’ve been wrong.
“Translation.” Another woman stepped up behind her. “Sit down, shut up before you get hurt, dwarf.”
“It will take more than you two Italian hags to—” Dallas froze when she noticed that the two women who were her backup…didn’t back her up. Instead, they ate their food in the corner. “Hey.”
“Two? Count again,” the first woman said to her, the grip on her wrist unmoving.
I wasn’t sure when it happened or how it was happening, but the whole cafeteria was silent, which would be terrifying enough, if it weren’t for the scowls…the clear warning that came across at least a dozen of the women, from what I could count at least. The warning was a simple one: do you have a death wish?
Stunned, I looked at the only person reacting normally near me: Dallas, who looked ready to piss herself. Which must have been enough for the women because they let her arm go.
“Apologize,” the second woman said.
“Sorry,” Dallas said to me.
“And her milk?” the wavy-haired one demanded.
“Right,” Dallas muttered, putting the milk back on my tray. When they didn’t say anything more, she walked as fast as she could back to her table. She wasn’t the only one. The Italian women did the same without a word to me either.
I couldn’t move. I didn’t really know what to do.
And apparently, I didn’t have to do anything either. Because no one walked in front of me. Instead, some other people put their dessert on my tray, causing me to move again, but on autopilot, not even blinking when the woman behind the counter gave me much more food than she normally does. Lifting the tray, I turned around to look for somewhere to sit when this voice entered my mind…
You can sit anywhere, Ivy.
Testing my theory, I walked to the fullest table I could find and just stood there. Not even a second later, they got up, not one or two, but all of them…every last one of them got up.
Sitting down, I took the straw and stuck it into my milk before looking back up. Just like the guards, they stared and avoided my gaze.
And as I drank, watching them as they watched me, something clicked.
Ah…so this is power, I thought.
Power. Influence. People feared and respected stuff like that. I knew that…
I’d just…never experienced it…
No. That was a lie. I had experienced it every time they’d thrown me into that dark cell, every time they’d patted me down, or when I’d lost a fight, or when the judge had thrown me in here, or when the shitty lawyer they’d given me had thrown me to the wolves, and when my dad had lost his life.
I’d experienced power and influence.
I’d just never had any myself.
Now I did.
So I took comfort in their fear. Because it meant one thing…the Callahans really were as powerful as everyone used to say. I could keep my promise.
They’ll pay. I swear it, Daddy.