My emotions were all over the place, and I didn’t know how to feel. Just a week before, I had stood face to face with a giant green dragon that blew fire out its nose as it shifted. It had been Dane beforehand, and my brain had turned to mush from trying to process it all. I now knew that whenever something made him angry or upset, he had to get away from whatever it was or he would shift. When he told me about his kind, he had mentioned that the closer they get to going feral, the harder it is for them to keep their dragon contained. The more I thought about it, the more I knew he really was telling me the truth, and if that was the case, then I needed to decide how I felt about him before he went feral.

    I couldn’t bear the thought of him having to be killed by his own people because he had no mate. He had done so much for me as far as fixing the house and getting rid of Bradley, hopefully for good this time. He had even fixed the door he broke before leaving that night. He had done so many nice things for me that the thought of him dying because of my lack of decision making brought tears to my eyes. I knew I wanted him in my life for a very long time, but I couldn’t seem to get past the things that Bradley had done to me. I wondered if it would ever be possible for me to move on, or if I was going to be stuck in this rut forever.

    Dane had been coming around more for several weeks, and I had enjoyed his company. He had taken me back to the café and told me about the people in all the pictures and how his mother had been the one to start the place before her death. After hearing how his mother had died, I understood why he feared boats; I probably would have too had I lost my mother to a boating accident. I sensed he carried a lot of anger over the accident, and I could tell he blamed himself. I felt bad for him being without his mother. I knew it had to be hard on him, especially now that his father was gone too.

    I had grown closer to him during our time together, but I still wasn’t sure if I wanted a romantic relationship with him, or anyone for that matter. I had invested so much time and effort into my relationship with Bradley and all that had brought me was pain and heartache. I knew I was punishing Dane for another man’s mistake, but I couldn’t help it. My heart wouldn’t allow me to give in again just yet. I wasn’t strong enough.

    I had often wondered where I would be had I opted to stay on the mainland and deal with Bradley instead of running off to paradise, trying to forget about him. I knew he probably would have still come looking for me, trying to push his bull crap down my throat like he’d been trying to do with me here. He was becoming more agitated and angrier every time he showed up or called, and I knew I was going to have to get the police involved. I just hadn’t wanted to cause him to get a criminal record. I knew what it was like to have one, and I knew the reactions of people that would find out you had one. It was hard to do anything, but it was especially hard knowing that a person could blame you for something you didn’t really do, and your side wouldn’t be believed.

    Luckily, my case got an appeal, and it was proven I didn’t do what I had been convicted of and the charges were dropped. I knew he would be convicted if I pressed the matter because I had witnesses and proof of the harassment and threatening messages. I just continued to hope that he would give up and leave me alone to live my own life. My mother had to deal with the same thing because of my father. Before he left, he was abusive and controlling and cheated on her several times. She stayed and put up with it for my sake and because he told her she’d never make it on her own.

    One day, she finally got tired of it and left him. We were gone for a week, staying with my grandma until he came begging for another chance to show her he’d changed. She had reluctantly agreed, and we had moved back home. It was good for a while until he started drinking again, and then the abuse started all over. I was glad when he left, but at the same time, I was sad because even though he hadn’t been the best father, he was still my father, and fathers weren’t supposed to walk out on their families. I realized that I had chosen a man like my father when I chose Bradley and I had known for a while before the relationship ended that it was going to in some way; I had just hoped it would have ended differently than it did.

    I wondered why he couldn’t have just told me he wasn’t happy with the relationship anymore and moved on, instead of cheating and then pretending like he was hurt when I left. I had known for some time that he had some sort of mental issue; I just didn’t think it was as bad as it was. I knew something was going to have to be done with him; I just didn’t know what. I had already gotten six calls from him that I refused to answer, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he showed up here again. I knew that if he showed up here again, it wouldn’t be good because Dane was getting tired of his nonsense.

    Things were getting so bad with him that his own mother had called me to apologize for the actions of her son. She hadn’t known about the break up until recently, and she said she wasn’t surprised. She told me that he had lost many girlfriends because of his controlling and jealous behavior. It surprised her that he had threatened to get violent, and she encouraged me to get a restraining order. I knew then he had to have a mental condition if his own mother was telling me to get the law involved. I knew I needed to before something drastic happened, but I hated to bring the law into it. Bradley was someone I thought I could handle and get the better of. I just wanted him to go away and stay away.

    I had started helping Dane on jobs so I wouldn’t be home alone all the time and Bradley wouldn’t have a chance to sneak to my place and cause a scene. Dane had been teaching me how to use power tools and to measure the wood before cutting it. I enjoyed working with him and learning new things, and we even found time to sneak in some make-out time here and there. We hadn’t had sex since that one night, and I was a bit disappointed. Dane had told me that he wasn’t going to touch me that way again until I knew what I wanted and was okay with being his mate because the next time we made love, it would be him claiming me as his forever.

    I understood where he was coming from, and I was fine with what he wanted. I just hadn’t realized how much I liked it until I knew I couldn’t have it again for a while. I was still having trouble letting my guard down and letting him in, but I had started wanting to try. I cared for him deeply, and I wanted to give a relationship with him a shot, but I was too scared to. It wasn’t just because he was a dragon shifter; I felt that way about every man. I had little trust in the male species after what I had endured with Bradley.

As we were finishing up the job we were working on, Dane mentioned having to go to a clan meeting after work and invited me to go with him. He wanted me to see how the whole clan thing worked, and he wanted them to meet me and get to know me in case we decided to mate. I was thrilled he wanted me to go but a bit nervous at the same time.

    I didn’t want him to think that me going with him was a decision towards mating with him, but I didn’t want to decline the invitation and miss the chance to know more about him and his people. Once we packed up and loaded the tools in the back of his truck, he took me to my place so I could shower and change, and he went to his to do the same. He knocked on the door just as I was putting the finishing touches on my make-up.

    “Wow! You look so beautiful, sweetheart. You’re going to be the center of attention at the meeting tonight,” he said as he looked me up and down.

    “Thank you. You look pretty good yourself there, handsome,” I replied, trying to keep the heat from my cheeks as my body responded to him.

    I fought the urge to take him to my bed and have my way with him right then and there as heat pooled between my legs and my face flushed red as my heart rate increased. He looked incredibly handsome in his perfectly ironed shirt and crisp, tight-fitting jeans and boots. I was glad I had chosen a short dress because he was going to make the room hot enough. He walked me to the truck and helped me inside before heading to the meeting house. The town was so small that they didn’t have a city hall, but they were considered a village, so they had what they called a village building where all the important meetings took place.

    I was so excited to be a part of it, and I was hoping that they would accept me since I was part of their community now. We entered the meeting, and I could tell by the looks on their faces that he had not told them I would be joining them for this meeting. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back out into the hallway, closing the door behind us.

    “Did you tell them that I was coming tonight?” I asked, anger beginning to well up inside me because I already know what his answer was going to be.

    “No, I didn’t tell them you were coming because humans aren’t normally allowed to attend these meetings. Don’t worry, they’ll get over it, and if they don’t, that’s okay too. They’ll get to exact revenge when they kill me for going feral,” he said as he turned to go back to the meeting room.

    His words had cut me like a knife, and I sat in the meeting wishing I could be anywhere else. The stares of his clan members made me nervous, and I squirmed in my chair. I listened as they discussed the everyday things such as taxes and repairing the potholes in the roads. My ears perked a bit when my name was mentioned, and they started talking about ways to keep Bradley off the island. We all knew that he would come back eventually, and that was something we all wanted to prevent. They agreed to take a couple days to think of ideas, and they would reconvene at the end of the week.

    I fumed in silence all the way back to my place after the meeting. Dane kept looking at me from the corner of his eye, but he didn’t dare speak. He knew that I was angry, and he knew why. They should have been told that I was attending that meeting, and I knew he knew it. Knowing a little about their history now, I knew that any unclaimed human woman was fair game, and I had been taken into the lion’s den. I certainly didn’t want anyone else to think they could claim me when I wouldn’t even agree to be Dane’s mate.

    He pulled into the drive and put the truck in park. I wanted to fling the door open and make an angry exit from the truck, but I couldn’t. His words echoed in my head, and I knew that it was my fault he was facing death. I needed to sit there with him and feel his closeness. Even though my heart wasn’t ready to love anyone else again, I felt complete and safe next to him. With Bradley hovering and trying to make unnecessary visits, I knew I might not be as safe as I had once thought, but I was safer on the island with Dane and his clan than I was on the mainland.

    Dane turned the key, killing the engine, and sat there staring out the window like he was deep in thought. I knew what he was thinking, and the guilt flooded my mind. I knew I was the one standing between him and the rest of his life, and I hated being that person. He needed to know that I wasn’t doing it to be mean; I genuinely felt I wasn’t ready and didn’t want to punish him with my insecurities and paranoia. I knew that if I dove in with him that I would wonder if he was secretly talking to other women the way Bradley had been. I needed to tell him what was on my mind, but I didn’t know how. I knew he felt I was refusing just to be mean; I could sense it in his voice in the hallway before the meeting. I decided to go ahead and try to convey my thoughts and I hoped I could get it out the way I needed to.

    “Dane, I’m sorry. I know you think I’m being selfish in my decision to withhold from romantic relationships, but I am not. I don’t feel that my heart is truly ready to take that step yet, and I don’t want to hurt you with my insecurity. You don’t deserve that, and I don’t want to punish you or anyone else for Bradley’s mistakes. I know you’re running out of time, and I can’t guarantee that I’ll be ready before you go feral, but I do know that I do care about you a lot and that is not something I want to see happen to you. I hope you can forgive me, and we can continue to be friends for as long as we have left.” I took a deep breath and opened the door to the truck.

    I paused for a moment and leaned over, kissing his cheek before moving to jump from the truck. I started to slide from the seat when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back inside. He looked into my eyes for a moment before crushing his lips to mine in a hard, passionate kiss. He pulled back, leaving me breathless, and stroked my face with his index finger.

    “You don’t have to apologize for the way you feel, Lauren. I know you went through a lot in your last relationship, and I know those scars have to heal. I’ve been through it myself before. I do know that if you let it keep you from trusting others, it’ll get lonely for you because you’ll end up pushing everyone away. I may not have much time left, or I could have more time than what I realize, but what I want you to know is I am not going to push you to decide. You can decide what you want in your own time, and if it’s too late for me, then I will accept my fate. Just know that I have come to love you very much, and I will be here for you no matter what and I’ve already made the clan promise that if something does happen and they must kill me, you’ll be watched over and protected. They also know they are not to claim you unless you give your permission to be claimed,” he finished, smiling at my reaction to the last part.

    My emotions betrayed me, and tears began to slip down my face as the thought of life without him ran through my mind. I knew he only wanted what was best for me, and he would give me all the time I needed, but I also knew time was something he didn’t have much of. I didn’t understand why it was so hard to make the decision I knew I needed to make. Why was I so afraid to give him my heart when I had already given him everything else? I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but then something he had said struck me, and I became curious.

    “You said you know what I am going through because you’ve been there. Have you already had a mate before?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t offend him by asking such a personal question.

    He paused for several minutes, fidgeting in his seat. I waited patiently giving him time to collect his thoughts. I wasn’t sure if it was something we should talk about if it were that hard for him to bring up.

    “Her name was Natalie. We met at the café while she was visiting a relative that lived on the island. I saw her but thought she was way out of my league, so I didn’t approach her. Instead, she approached me as I was about to leave with my lunch order. I ended up eating lunch with her instead of on the go, and we talked for a long time. She ended up meeting me on the job site later that afternoon, and from that point, we became inseparable. She extended her stay with her family member, and we continued spending a lot of time together. I fell for her hard, and I thought she had fallen for me too, but it turns out, I was wrong.” He paused for a moment before continuing his story.

    “I had told her about my people and given her time to process the information, and she had told me she was fine with it and wanted to be with me, but on the day the claiming ceremony was to take place, she disappeared without a trace. I couldn’t find her anywhere on the island, and she hadn’t told the family member where she was going when she left, so no one knew anything. That happened right before my father went feral and had to be killed. My life was dark for a while, and I was in a spot much like you are. I didn’t trust for some time, but then I realized I had to let people in if I was going to have a happy life. I just want you to let me in, Lauren; let me love you.” His voice cracked with emotion as he finished.

    Without hesitation, I climbed into his lap and kissed him urgently. I started to grind my hips against him and felt the hardness of his arousal against me. I moaned into his mouth as he deepened the kiss and I started trying to pull his shirt off when he stopped me.

    “No, Lauren, we can’t do it like this. The next time we make love, I want it to be because we both love each other and we are mated together. I want it to mean something this time,” he said as he maneuvered me off his lap. He was right; we needed to wait. I slid out of the truck and went inside. I needed to make up my mind, and fast. I needed him desperately. I wanted him badly. I just couldn’t seem to make my heart let go of the past. I knew if I didn’t figure out a way to do that soon, I would lose him forever.