CHAPTER 17
The shower hadn’t helped at all. Kaya’s guilt and fear about her past and the people in it was a pain that clung to her no matter how long she’d soaked or how hard she’d tried to scrub it all away.
Seeing Leah after four years apart had confirmed everything she’d been dreading--that her sister was still living among lowlifes and killers like Angus Mackie and his criminal associates. She was still one of them, even after all this time.
Worse than one of them--she was also going to bring a baby into that toxic, violent environment.
The reality of that fact put an ache inside Kaya that she felt to her marrow. She and Leah had been so close once, albeit a long time ago. As little girls, they had been as entwined as identical twins could be, two halves of one soul. But then Leah grew up too fast and life continued to pull them further and further apart. That slim tether that had connected them was severed, and Kaya had worked hard to convince herself that she was okay with that loss. Even now, she desperately wanted to divorce herself from caring for the sister whose life seemed destined to become a tragic repeat of their mother’s.
But she couldn’t do it.
As much as she wanted to deny the fact that Leah’s rejection had hurt her, she was heartsick over it. And as much as she wanted to rationalize that the Leah she knew as a child had been lost for good at least a decade ago, the hell of it was she still loved her twin.
In some weak, pathetic place inside her, Kaya still felt an unbreakable loyalty toward her only living kin. She felt protective of Leah and concerned for her wellbeing, especially now that she realized her sister was pregnant.
Had Angus Mackie raped her? Kaya wouldn’t doubt it for a second. Her sister had made some poor decisions in her life--much like their mother--but Kaya refused to believe that Leah might have willingly allowed a sadistic animal like Big Mack to touch her.
Then again, what did Kaya really know about Leah now?
That she feared Mackie was obvious. She’d have to be a fool not to. But had Leah’s self-worth slipped so far that she might actually have developed some kind of relationship with the vicious gang leader? Kaya could only pray not. Her sister had to be saner, smarter than that.
And if she wasn’t?
What if it turned out that Leah’s brainwashing and abuse within the commune of criminals had consumed every last shred of her humanity? Kaya didn’t want to consider it.
But she had to consider it, because it wouldn’t be long before the Order answered the question for her.
There was no doubt they would be moving in on Big Mack and his cronies--and soon. With the existence of ultraviolet weaponry a very real, very lethal threat to all of the Breed, combined with an evidential link between Angus Mackie and a recently terminated Opus Nostrum member, the Order would waste little time before formulating a plan of attack and then executing it.
Which meant Leah would soon be in the crosshairs of the Order’s wrath as well.
Not to mention her unborn child.
The weight of Kaya’s concern sat like an anvil on her chest. She exhaled a heavy sigh. “God, Leah. How did you end up like this? Why didn’t you let me help you?”
Now, it might be too late to fix anything in her sister’s life.
After today, it might be too late for Kaya to fix things for herself too.
She should have spoken up as soon as Mackie’s name was mentioned. Fear had stalled her tongue. What would her teammates think of her, hearing she’d been on Big Mack’s turf as recently as this morning?
How could she expect to remain in the Order’s fold if they ever learned that she herself had once been part of the very group that had slaughtered an innocent family in their home? That she had been born into that hateful world, raised within it. Still bound to it by her love for her twin.
What would they all think if they knew she’d been withholding those truths from them all this time? Their faith in her would be shattered, possibly without repair.
Sooner than later, she would have to choose between the only family she had left and the one she was making with her friends and teammates of the Order.
She thought she had made her choice when she began training as a warrior. Now, she wasn’t certain her heart was stalwart enough to shut out either one of the things she loved.
But as conflicted as she was about devotion to her blood kin versus duty to the only people who had ever made her feel that she belonged, Kaya’s regret for the way she behaved with Aric went even deeper.
To her surprise, he was in the war room when she headed down after her shower to resume working on the photos. She had anticipated being alone to go over the images he’d reviewed while she was gone that morning. Instead, he stood facing a wall of projection glass where an array of pictures from the reception were displayed.
Kaya stood in the open doorway, her gaze more riveted to the man than to the dozens of photos illuminated in front of him. Tall, broad shouldered and hewn of pure muscle, as a Breed male Aric Chase was magnificent. Even standing still he radiated otherworldly power and strength.
As the lover who had touched and kissed and pleasured nearly every inch of her body in the small hours of last night and this morning, just the sight of him made her legs go a bit weak beneath her.
He hadn’t deserved her cool rebuff when he approached her outside the kitchen a short while ago. Nor had he deserved her lie that the intimacy they had shared meant nothing to her. She only wished it meant nothing. In truth, the hours she’d spent alone with Aric naked in his arms under the moon and stars, and then the rising sun, had been ones she would cherish for the rest of her life.
She would have to cling to those moments, because she could never give in to the temptation again.
Even if that meant pushing him away.
He glanced over his shoulder, aware of her presence even without her saying a word. “It should be easier to compare the photos here instead of at the table.”
His tone was level and professional, as if she were simply one of his comrades now. Why that didn’t give her more relief, Kaya refused to acknowledge.
The one thing they both agreed on was the fact that their partnership was temporary. When it was over, their lives would continue on separate paths. No expectations of anything more. Simple, uncomplicated.
Yet when she thought about Aric--every time she was near him--her feelings were anything but simple or uncomplicated.
It was a realization that terrified her as much as any ugly secret from her past or the threat of losing everything she’d worked for with the Order.
Aric Chase made her crave things she never imagined she would have in her life. A confidant. A protector. A lover who gave as much pleasure as he demanded.
A true partner in all the ways that mattered.
Things she could never hope to have so long as her past and the people who still tied her to it were secrets she dared not bring into the light.
How long she could keep the truth hidden from these new people she cared about, Kaya didn’t know.
More and more, it tasted like poison on her tongue.
Especially when she was looking at Aric.
“Yes, it should help,” she answered, stepping into the room as he put up more images for them to review. She drifted to his side and tried to concentrate on the hundreds of faces and profiles and nondescript backs of heads--any one of which could be the man they were looking for. Her eyes scanned the crowds and candid group shots, but all of her senses were fixed on Aric. “I thought you might be somewhere with Rafe and Mira and the rest of the team.”
“Thought, or hoped?” He didn’t look at her, not even a sidelong glance. As if he hadn’t said it at all, he reached out to rearrange the sequence of images in front of them. “The patrol team has their work to do. I’ve got mine. Unfortunately, I’m not going anywhere until we find the Opus bastard who was at that wedding reception.”
And from the steely edge in his voice, it seemed he couldn’t finish fast enough.
“What about this guy?” He pointed to a mostly obscured profile on a short, brown-haired man.
Kaya shook her head. “It’s not him. The hair is lighter and longer than that of the man I saw.”
Aric grunted and moved on. He zoomed in on a different squatty wedding guest with dark hair, pausing to look at her in question.
“Too heavy. And I believe that gentleman is wearing a toupee.”
Peering closer at it, he smirked. “Damn. You’re right.”
He discarded both images, along with several others containing alternate shots of the same men. And so it went, one photo after another, none of them netting positive results for the Order.
Kaya sighed. “At the rate we’re going here, it could be days before we find Mercier’s contact.”
“We don’t have days anymore.” Aric’s voice was sober. “If the UV bullet casing we recovered isn’t bad enough, that black scarab tattoo on Angus Mackie changes everything.”
She swallowed, her nerves jangling with dread. “What do you mean?”
“The Order isn’t about to stand by and watch Opus Nostrum or anyone with alliances to them create panic among the Breed with the threat of ultraviolet weaponry. Big Mack’s going down.”
“Goddamn right he is.”
Nikolai’s voice was a low growl behind them. Both Kaya and Aric swung around to look at the Breed elder, who was suited up in black fatigues and combat boots. Around his hips was a belt studded with all manner of weapons: guns, blades, throwing stars.
Aric flashed a cold grin and a hint of his fangs. “You heading up the team tonight, Commander?”
He gave a short nod. “Lucan wants this asshole taken alive so we can question him. And if he’s got UV on hand, we need someone to bring that shit in safely and lock it down.”
Frowning, Aric glanced at Kaya then back to Niko. “Someone who isn’t going to get ashed, you mean.”
“Ideally, yes.” Nikolai smirked. “So, consider this your official graduation to the team, both of you. Congrats on making the grade. Now, suit up and get your asses down to the weapons room. Sundown’s in two minutes. I want wheels rolling on pavement the second night falls.”