I won’t be like this forever, I repeated to myself as I sat on my bed staring at the half-dozen roses Tyler had brought me. Three red and three white. No one had ever brought me flowers before.

It was sweet, but at the same time, it made me angry. Not at Tyler, but at myself. I was overanalyzing the situation, and I knew that, but it really made me think about some things.

First of all, Tyler thought I was weak. He was romancing me because he thought I had to be won over. Was it possible he didn’t understand all the things I’d gone through when I was part of Kade’s pack? I’d told him, and everyone else, about it.

Second of all, his gift reminded me of just how wounded I was.

I won’t be like this forever.

But did I really believe that? Or was I just being hopeful? How could I ever be normal like everyone else at the camp? We had other omegas here that had been part of Kade’s pack, but they somehow seemed to be dealing with life better than me. But then again, none of them had their child taken away from them.

The other six had been workers for Kade’s pack. They’d done anything from sweeping up the apartment and cleaning out the trucks, to hauling wood to the mill to make some extra cash. Some of them were young enough to never have had their heat yet, and the ones who had, well, maybe Kade just never got around to them…

I won’t be like this forever…

But forever was a long time, and even if I was ready for Tyler before then, there was no telling just how long that would be. But I did know one thing: as long as my son was out there, I’d never be fully healed.

My beautiful little miracle. That’s what he was to me.

I’d hated Kade for what he’d done to me, and I’d hated being pregnant, but then I’d given birth, and everything changed. When I held him in my arms, and stared down at his mismatched eyes, just like mine, all the pain and hatred and despair and violence that had gone into his creation was washed away and my heart was filled with nothing but love.

It was a miracle.

But I didn’t even have a chance to name him. I didn’t have a chance to do anything a father should do with his newborn child. He was taken from me and I had no idea where he was. I was powerless, and there was a fire burning inside me, deep down in some place I hadn’t yet discovered, burning and waiting for a chance to be let out.

“Hey, Nate?” A voice came from my cabin door. It was Matias.

“Yeah?” I called back, not getting up from the bed. I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone.

“I brought some wood for you,” I heard him say.

“You can leave it on the porch,” I replied. I was being rude – not terribly – but rude nonetheless. But Matias was strong. Stronger than me. He could take it.

There was a silent pause, but then I heard the latch click and saw my door open. Matias, smiling, with an armful of freshly split wood, stepped into the cabin.

“Good evening!” he said cheerfully as he made his way to the fireplace. The fire had all but gone out, but I guess I hadn’t noticed the cold. I sat unmoving as he set the wood down on the brick hearth and stoked the fire.

“Wow, it’s chilly in here,” he said. “Aren’t you cold?”

I shrugged, my eyes unfocused. “Not really.”

“Well, I’ll get this baby going so you don’t turn into a block of ice tonight,” he joked. “Are those from who I think they’re from?”

I turned, following his gaze to the box of roses sitting beside me.

“Tyler brought them over,” I replied.

“That’s one boy who won’t give up,” he said approvingly.

“Yeah…”

He must have heard the confliction in my voice, because he stopped what he was doing and looked over at me. After a moment, I turned and met his gaze.

“You wish he would?”

It was a hard question. And I wasn’t sure if I really had an answer. On one hand, I really did feel something for Tyler, but I was like a jug, completely filled with other emotions that had no room left for love.

“I – I don’t really know, Matias,” I admitted finally.

The flames were hotter now, and Matias set one of the smaller pieces of wood into the fire and stood up. He came over to me and sat down on the bed and put a hand on my knee.

“You know, Nate. I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through,” he said. His voice was strong and filled with authority and decision – everything I was lacking at the moment. “But I can tell you this. When I took over this pack, I didn’t think I was ready. Our old leader, Kade, was a bastard. He should have been overthrown a long time before he was, and I should have been the one to do it.”

He paused, and I saw a look on his face that I’d never seen before. I couldn’t help but feel like I was experiencing a moment of vulnerability in Matias that other people never got to see. He took a deep breath and his hand tightened on my knee. He was strong. Not like me.

“But once he was gone, someone had to step up, and I ended up being the one to do it. People believed in me, especially Seth and the rest of the Scarlet Mountain Pack. And I was scared, but I took that leap and it ended up being the best decision of my life.”

“So what are you saying?” I asked him. “I should just take a leap of faith and let Tyler into my life?”

“What I’m saying is,” Matias replied slowly. “That you’re stronger than you think you are.”