Chapter Twenty-Eight
Georgina couldn’t see Mal. They’d been plunged into the dark, the gloom as deep, as complete, as a night without stars. But she could feel his breath, warm against her cheek. She could feel the heat of his body.
“You are the most maddening woman I’ve ever met,” he exclaimed. “Sometimes I want to shake you nearly as much as I want to kiss you.”
She moved closer to him. “You made your decision, so I’ve made mine. Don’t fault me for being almost as stubborn as you are.”
“Almost!” he huffed. “I think you have that backward, lass.” But he reached for her, and their hands brushed before catching together.
She closed her eyes, and a beat of silence passed as they both reveled in the contact.
“You came for me,” Mal said. Now that they were alone, his voice was hushed, tinged with something like reverence.
She pressed her free hand to his chest, right over the steady beat of his heart. “Of course I did. This is mine, and I’m going to keep it safe, since you seem to be doing a questionable job at the task.” She tried to keep her voice light, though her eyes stung.
“I’ll do better from now on, but you should know, it’s a tattered thing,” he whispered.
“And generous. And kind. And loyal. I’ve become rather fond of it. Sometimes it feels like it must be the other half of my own.” She rested her forehead against his, and they breathed the same breath. “Mal.” Her throat was tight, but there was something she needed to say to him, and there seemed no better time to do it. Alone, in the dark, her hand cradled in Mal’s.
He twined their fingers together, and she was grateful for the warmth. For his silent strength. Because she was about to cut herself open, and it was a terrifying thing. She drew a deep breath, and began. “I was scared,” she said. “I lost sight of myself for a while. After I found out about my disorder—it shook me, even though I tried to pretend it didn’t. And then I met you and…there was another reason I didn’t tell you. You always looked at me so admiringly, from the very beginning, and I was worried you might look at me differently once you found out. You know how people judge a woman’s worth.”
It was all caught up in being a wife, in being a mother. Georgina didn’t want to be looked at like she was less. She wasn’t less. She was the same woman she’d always been.
“I know how some people judge it,” he said. “But that’s not how I judge it. And I don’t think you do, either.”
“No, it’s not,” she agreed. “But like I said, I lost sight of myself. And I…I had never really thought about children before, either, but I…I don’t know…” Her voice broke. “I would have liked the choice.”
“Oh, lass.”
And with that softly spoken exclamation, she was done for. She hadn’t cried when the doctor had told her. She hadn’t cried when she’d seen Theo and Annabel with their daughter and been reminded, again and again. She hadn’t cried when her mother’s music box had been stolen and everything had been tangled up inside her mind, her heart.
But now she began to cry, her breath leaving her in staggered gasps. Mal reeled her in. She curled against his chest, face pressed into his throat. Her tears were dripping onto him, and her body was trembling, and she couldn’t make it stop.
She hated being so vulnerable, but this was Mal. If she had to break down in front of anyone, she wanted it to be him.
“It’s stupid,” she said thickly. “I’m mourning something I didn’t even know I wanted.”
“You’re mourning something you lost. It doesna matter if you knew you wanted it or not.”
Georgina nuzzled deeper against him, as close as she could get. They stood like that for a long time, until all of her tears were dry. “You lost something, too, Mal. You lost your family…all of them at once,” she said, after she’d found the strength to speak again.
Mal listened silently. He seemed to sense she wasn’t done.
She drew a deep, deep breath and forged ahead. “If you think you’re ever going to be disappointed that you can’t have children of your own, I should know that now. I’d rather know now.”
His hands moved to her shoulders, stopped, tightened. “Don’t be an idiot.”
“What?”
“I have a family. They might not be blood and they might not look like a normal family, but they’re mine. We chose each other, and we’ve chosen you, too. So if you’re going to walk away from us because you’re tired of us, that’s fine, walk away and don’t look back if that’s what you want to do. But don’t you dare do it for a reason like that.”
She was startled by his declaration, by the vehemence of it, but mostly by the recognition in her heart. He was right. And she should have known better than anyone—families came in all shapes and sizes. It didn’t make their bonds any less real.
Hadn’t Georgina and her siblings become closer after their parents’ deaths? Hadn’t they each, in turn, been a father and a mother to one another? Hadn’t the ties between them become stronger, no matter how much they shifted over the years?
They were not a typical family. They weren’t mother, father, daughter, son, but they loved one another just as much. And Mal and Andrew, Ewan and Lachlan, they’d all saved each other once, and they loved each other, too.
These bonds could form in a thousand different ways, and they were beautiful, for all their subtle differences.
“And if we’re still on the question of your worth—I could kneel at your feet and offer you my heart and my soul and my body and all the riches in all of the castles in Scotland and it still wouldn’t equal your worth. You are immeasurable. You, alone.”
Georgina might have lost sight of her path for a while, might have been so caught up in staying strong that she didn’t stop to take a good look at herself, but she knew her worth didn’t really have anything to do with who she married or how many children she had, even if someone else might judge it that way.
Still, Mal’s devotion eased some aching, worried part of her that she hadn’t quite been aware of until now. And she did have a soft spot for his romantic side.
She laughed gently, which she found startling considering she’d been sobbing only a few moments ago. But she didn’t feel worn down or weak.
No, she felt like herself again. Only, perhaps, a little more pliant, and a little less breakable.
“You have a way with hyperbole, Malcolm Stewart.”
“Aye,” he agreed. “It’s a gift.”
She pressed up on her toes to kiss him in the dark. “But if you ever call me an idiot again, I’ll shoot you in the foot.”
His voice was husky with laughter when he spoke. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
…
The door creaked open, flooding soft morning light into the cell. Sometime in the night, Georgina had fallen asleep against Mal, with her head on his shoulder, and she lifted it now, wincing at the crick in her neck.
These paper-thin straw pallets weren’t the best for comfort. And she was almost positive she’d heard something rustling around inside it.
“Georgina.”
“Theo!” She sat up quickly. Her brother’s face was as dark as a thundercloud.
The gaoler was standing about twenty feet back, making sure he didn’t fix his gaze on the woman who’d slipped into his cell without him even realizing it. In his defense, when Georgina and Mal had heard him return after attempting to help Andrew, who’d delayed him time and time again by slumping back to the ground, until he’d finally just left the sodden, drunken man, he’d shone the torch in to check on his prisoner.
It wasn’t the gaoler’s fault that Mal had stepped right up to the door to block Georgina from view.
“Come with me.”
“No.”
Mal woke slowly, shifting behind her.
“What?” Theo’s voice was low.
“I’m not leaving until you agree to at least talk to Mr. Rochester.”
“Even if I drag you out?”
Georgina took the bluff. “You wouldn’t.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, neither one conceding.
“I can see the family resemblance,” Mal noted, unhelpfully.
“You—shut up,” Theo said.
“Don’t tell him to shut up.”
Theo grabbed at his hair with both hands. “I will speak to Mr. Rochester,” he finally said.
“Thank you,” she nodded. “Now that you’re being reasonable, we can discuss some things.”
“Away from him.”
She glanced at Mal. When he nodded, she squeezed his hand, and, hating to leave him there but knowing she didn’t have much choice, followed her brother out.
The gaoler locked the door behind them.
Theo began to walk and Georgina kept pace.
“I cannot believe you would do something like this.” He paused. “No, actually, this is exactly the sort of thing you would do. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make me livid.”
“Mal isn’t dangerous. He was only protecting someone,” she said.
Theo glared at her. “Mal, is it?”
“Yes,” she said. She met his gaze, unflinching.
“You are, by far, the most difficult sibling.”
“I know.”
Theo exhaled sharply. “I wish you didn’t sound so pleased about the fact.”
“I don’t…” She pressed her lips together. She supposed now was the time for honesty if there ever was one. “I don’t wish to worry you, Theo. I truly don’t.”
“But?”
“Once, you would have kept me safe by wrapping me up and keeping me away from everything that might possibly hurt me, and I don’t want that, either.”
She wasn’t sure if he was going to respond, but eventually, he sighed. “I know he was protecting someone.”
“You do?”
“I was confronted this morning by a man who told me that he was the one who’d held up Rochester’s carriage, and that he was the one who should be punished, not Mal.”
“Lachlan said that?”
“You know him, too? Georgina…what in God’s name have you been getting up to lately?”
She looked at him, and she could tell that for as aggravated as he might be, he was softening a bit. She smiled slightly. “I’ve been…finding…myself.”
“And do you like what you’ve found?”
“I do.”
They were both silent for a moment. “He certainly knows how to inspire loyalty, your Mal.”
She felt her pulse quicken. “My?”
He looked at her, at the hope that was probably clear on her face, the longing, and looked away again. “I made a love match,” he said gruffly. “And so did Eleanor and Robert, regardless of how suitable their matches were. Really, we’ve been doomed to be on the far edge of respectable since Mama disobeyed her father and ran off with a doctor. She was happy, though. We were all happy. What I’m saying is, after everything we’ve been through, it would be hypocritical of me to stand in your way. And you already spent the night with him. I didn’t tell the gaoler my name, but if he knew somehow…well, it’s not like you’d make a society match if word got out, anyway. And I suspect you realized that.”
The exasperation in his tone made her smile. Theo’s bark had always been worse than his bite, and he’d softened, too, in the years he’d been home.
“I don’t want a society match, anyway,” she said, neither confirming nor denying his suspicions. “But what if Mal was a criminal, not so long ago…just in a different way?”
Theo stopped, turned to face her. “I have never known you to be a poor judge of character. Is he a good sort of man?”
She nodded. “He’s the best sort. At least I think so,” she said, with a self-effacing smile.
“I suppose it would also be hypocritical of me to balk because of illegal activities.”
“Yes, I do remember that business from a few years ago.”
He shot her a stern look. They did not openly discuss the fact that Theo had once aided in a criminal’s escape because of his wife. But they all understood that the world wasn’t black-and-white, that good people did bad things and bad people did good things, and sometimes you just did what you had to do to survive and you didn’t think too much about whether it was wrong or right.
The Townsends were well acquainted with the gray areas of life.
Finally, he said, “I’ll talk to Mr. Rochester. I can’t guarantee anything, but I’ll try.”
“Thank you, Theo. You know…a bit of financial incentive can often go a long way in cases like these. And it’s not really underhanded…no one was actually harmed, and I’m positive Lachlan won’t try something like that again.”
He snorted. “You all really are going to kill me. But yes, I’m well aware of the power of financial incentives. Before I attempt to pay off Rochester, though, I do have a stipulation.”
She felt a thrill of unease. “What is that?”
“Annabel wants Mr. Stewart to stay in his position as schoolmaster.” He glared at her. “She was quite dismayed after you questioned Rochester.”
“Oh,” Georgina said wisely. “So this is as much about pleasing your wife as it is about me.”
He glowered at her. “It’s a little of both. Do you think he’ll say yes?”
“I think he will.”
They looked at each other.
“Good,” Theo said gruffly. “I suppose we can consider everything settled, then, provided Rochester isn’t too stubborn.”
But she wasn’t letting him off so easily. She tugged at his arm and pulled her brother into a tight hug. They didn’t touch often, she realized, but this wasn’t so bad. Her head came to just under his chin, and he smelled like coffee and tobacco smoke. It was a familiar smell, and comforting.
“Thank you, Theo,” she said again. “I’m happy.”
At first, he patted her head awkwardly, like she was a too-affectionate pet, but then he stopped. Just rested his hand against the top of her head. It was a warm, gentle weight.
“Then I’m happy, too,” he said.
“Liar.”
He huffed out a laugh. “I’m not thrilled. But I suppose I’m not dreadfully unhappy, either.”
“That sounds more like you,” she said.