Clutch

Eldie was married, so there was no way in hell I’d ever go after her, but shit, I couldn’t even smile at her without her face turning green like she was gonna hurl at the sight of me. She was truly one of the hottest women I’d ever seen, and I swear she got better looking every time we crossed paths. When the club first met her, she was kind of scrawny, with big old nerdy glasses. Still cute as fuck, but not like now. Now she looked a lot healthier. All traces of the frazzled E.R. resident I’d first met had been replaced by a confident, fully-formed woman. She was also rocking a Roses for Anna T-shirt, these dirty librarian frames, and her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. I immediately thought of the fun the two of us could have with my hand firmly wrapped around it.

“She’s too fine to be a doctor,” I said to Minus as I got on my bike.

“She’s off-limits Clutch,” he replied sternly.

“I know, Minus. She’s married. I don’t fuck around with people’s families. You know that,” I said.

“It’s not just that. She’s our doctor, and I can trust her not to go to the cops or rat us out if she sees or hears something while treating one of us. I don’t want you and your dick messing that up. She’s too important to the club.”

“I already said I’m not making a move,” I snapped.

“Yeah, but you’ve also commented on how fine she is, and don’t think I didn’t catch you grinning at her,” Minus said.

“Fuck you. I can’t smile at someone now?”

“You can, but your smiles usually come with strings attached,” Minus said, starting his bike before I could respond.

As we rode on, and the sky began to darken, I replayed the day’s events in my mind. After the heated discussion about the direction of the club, this weekend’s club picnic should prove interesting, to say the least. Hell, with Wolf flexing and Elwood basically calling Minus a chicken, I was morbidly curious to see how the next forty-eight hours would play out.

Warthog and I still had a few stops to make in preparation for the weekend’s festivities, including stopping at Charlie’s Market to pick a large booze order. Ropes and Sweet Pea were supposed to meet us there with a truck. Minus split off and headed back to the Sanctuary, and his absence caused me to breathe easier, which seemed fucked up to me.

We rode down Burnside toward Charlie’s, with Warthog leading the way. About a mile down the road, I caught sight of a powder blue Jeep in my mirror that I immediately recognized from Eldie’s parking lot. It was closing in on me fast and changed lanes at the very last moment in order to pass me on the right. I looked over to see Eldie behind the wheel, arms flailing, singing at the top of her lungs, completely unaware that I was next to her. I sped up to stay beside her and could then hear “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins blasting from the Jeep. Eldie was spastically thrashing her arms about with each and every epic drum fill while simultaneously attempting to belt out the lyrics. I suddenly saw her stop, only to open a bag and retrieve a chocolate frosted treat which was promptly stuffed into her mouth.

However, before she could finish chewing she glanced over to find me gawking at her from my bike. A look of horror crossed her face and she released a muffled scream before yanking the wheel hard right and gunning the Jeep into the far-right lane. As a matter of fact, she blew right through the lane, hit the curb, and a no parking sign with enough force to pop one of the Jeep’s front tires and deploy the airbag.

“Holy shit! Eldie!” I pulled over, jumped off my bike and ran to the Jeep, Warthog behind me moments later. I opened the driver-side door to find a stunned Eldie, her face partially covered in white powder from the deployed airbag. Her glasses were crooked and broken, the chocolate treat still in her mouth.

“Jesus, Eldie, you okay?” I asked, checking her over.

She tried to speak before chunks of slobber and half chewed donut came pouring out of her mouth, running down the front of her shirt.

She gasped as she clumsily wiped her mouth with her bare arm. “Oh my god!”

“Is anything broken? Are you okay, Doc? Are you paralyzed? Can you wiggle your toes, do you smell burning toast?”

“That’s a stroke symptom,” Eldie said, her teeth a solid brown.

“Here, sweetie, let’s get you outta there and cleaned up. I’ll get a brother to come tow your car, and we’ll get this damage taken care of, so you can get your Jeep back on the road,” I said.

“What? No, you don’t need to do that. This was all my fault,” she said, still a bit dazed.

“No shit this was all your fault,” I said with a laugh. “But I’m gonna take care of you until your ol’ man can come get you. Come on, let me help you out of there. Careful, I’ve got you.”

I helped her to a nearby bus stop bench and sat her down. Warthog laid out road flares and directed traffic while I called for an ambulance.

“No, don’t do that, I’m fine, really,” Eldie protested.

“Tell you what. Since I’m not a doctor, and the only doctor I know just got hit in the face pretty good, how ’bout we let the EMTs decide if you’re okay,” I said, handing her a clean bandana from my pocket. “Here, you’ve got some chocolate on your chin.”

“Oh God, I must look like a maniac. I honestly don’t know why I did that. You just... scared me... I guess,” she said sheepishly.

“Scared you?”

“I don’t know,” she said, to the sounds of approaching sirens. “What am I gonna tell the police? They’re gonna take me to jail and lock me up for driving like an idiot.”

“Don’t worry, Doc, I’ve got you. I’ll take care of everything. Just stay right here and let me do the talking.”

* * *

Gina

I was in shock, and not just because of the airbag to the face.

What the actual fuck was wrong with me? Why did I freak out like that?

I was absolutely mortified. I seriously contemplated getting up and throwing myself into oncoming traffic out of sheer embarrassment. One moment I was zipping down holiday road, me and Phil were singing, a bag of Mr. Winston’s chocolate Yum Yums to keep me company all the way to the cabin, then next thing I knew, hottie biker boy is staring at me, and I’m up close and personal with city property.

I can’t believe he was watching me doing my best/worst carpool karaoke. I can’t believe he saw me stuffing my face with chocolate Yum Yums.

A large delivery truck approached.

I mean, seriously, the pain of hurling myself in front of that thing couldn’t be worse than what I’m feeling right now.

I didn’t know why I was so mortified that Clutch had seen me being goofy. If it had been some random stranger that had busted me rocking out to a sold-out crowd in Jeep Stadium I would have still been embarrassed, but I wouldn’t have damn near driven off a cliff to break eye contact. This weekend was not going as planned. If there was even a weekend left to salvage. At this point, I should probably take this as a sign to stay home, but that was the very last place in the world I wanted to be.

The ambulance arrived and the EMTs wheeled a gurney and back board to my bench.

“I’m fine, really,” I said, starting to get up.

“Ma’am, please stay seated, you could have a spinal injury that you don’t know about,” one of the EMTs said.

“I’m a doctor. Really, I’m fine. Just some bruising to my face and ego,” I said, trying to smile measuredly.

“Ma’am, please allow us to look you over and make sure you’re okay, ma’am.”

“Okay, fine just enough with the ma’am,” I snapped.

“Sorry, Doctor,” the EMT said sheepishly.

“No, that’s not what I meant, never mind,” I huffed in resignation and allowed the EMTs to poke and prod me until they were satisfied that I didn’t need to go to the hospital. I eyeballed Clutch nervously as he spoke with the officer from the Sheriff’s department that had arrived. God knows what he was saying to him. As the EMTs packed up, the officer approached me, with Clutch directly behind him.

“Good evening, ma’am, I’m Deputy Aiello, sounds like you’ve had a bit of trouble tonight.”

Great, time for more ma’aming.

“Yes, I guess so,” I said, smiling nervously. Clutch was mouthing “don’t worry” behind the cop’s back.

“Did you get a good look at the driver of the other car?” he asked.

“The other car?” I stayed smiling.

“The one that ran you off the road. The brown Subaru. Mr. Christakos was able to give us a very good description of the car but said he couldn’t see the driver. Did you?”

“I’m sorry. I’m confused. Who’s Mr. Christakos?” I asked.

“The gentleman on the motorcycle. He said he saw the whole thing, and that a brown Subaru wagon with a kayak rack on top ran you off the road and sped off. He said he knew you. That you were a doctor at a local clinic.”

“Yes, yes that’s right. I’m sorry, I’m just a little disoriented from everything,” I said. Clutch was winking and giving me a private thumb’s up while the cop was writing in his log book.

“So, did you?” The cop asked.

“Did I what?”

“Get a good look at the driver?” He looked at me blankly. “Are you okay ma’am? Do you need me to get the EMTs again?”

“No, I’m good, and its Doctor Gardner, Doctor Gina Gardner,” I said.

“Speaking of identification, can I see your driver’s license when you get a chance?”

“Oh, yes, of course. It’s in my purse, which is in the car,” I said, starting to stand.

“I’ll get that for you!” Clutch said.

“Thank you, Mr. Chriznowski,” I said, cringing on my own words. I could see Clutch look back at me, but without my glasses I couldn’t make out his expression.

“Um, no, no I didn’t see what he looked like.” I said, returning my attention back to the Deputy.

“So, it was a man, then?”

I’m sure for Clutch, lying to the police was no big deal, but as someone who was until recently married to a cop, I was sweating bullets. I couldn’t even remember the name Clutch had given the Deputy.

“No. I don’t know. It could have been a woman, I didn’t really see. It could have been a German Sheppard for all I know,” I said, laughing nervously.

“Why would a dog be driving a Subaru?” he asked, flatly.

“Would that be odd? Do they usually drive Hondas?” I asked, then burst into hysterical belly laughs.

Pull it together Gina, this is not the time for one of your nervous giggle fits.

“Ma’am, have you been drinking tonight?” he asked, just as Clutch returned with my purse.

“No,” I said, a little irritated by the question, but still fighting to hold back the laughter.

“I’m sure she’s just shaken up from the whole thing officer,” Clutch said, handing me my bag.

“Is there someone we can call to come get you? A family member or husband?” Deputy Aiello asked.

“Um, no. My... family is all out of town. I’m on my own tonight,” I said, still getting used to how to announce my current status.

“Tell you what.” Clutch said. “The EMTs gave the Doc here a clean bill of health, and we’ve got a tow truck on the way for her Jeep, so how ‘bout once you’re done collecting her information, I’ll make sure she gets home nice and safe.”

“Is that okay with you ma’am?” the Deputy asked me.

“Sure, that sounds good. Thank you, Mr. Chriz... ”

“Christakos,” he said smiling. Ohmigod his smile. When he smiled, every ounce of scariness melted away from him and my insides became gooey.

“I’m sorry, I guess I’ve only ever known you as Clutch,” I said, apologetically.

I suppose, I’d always figured it best to ask the Burning Saints as few questions as possible.

“No need to apologize, Gina,” he said with a wink.

Gulp.

I finished up perjuring myself with Deputy Aiello and, as promised, Mayday, the club’s mechanic showed up to tow my Jeep off to their garage.

“You ready to hit the road?” Clutch asked.

“What? On that?” I asked pointing to his two-wheeled death trap.

“First of all, her name is Charlene and you’ll hurt her feelings if you call her “that,” and secondly, yes we’ll need to ride Charlene to our next destination as my Bentley is currently in the shop next to your Jeep.”

“You have a Bentley?” I asked.

Of course, he doesn’t have a Bentley, it was a joke, you gullible goober.

Clutch smiled wider. “C’mon Doc, you’ll be alright,” he said, and extended his helmet out to me.

“I’m not sure about this,” I said nervously approaching Charlene.

“It’s okay, she don’t bite... but I might.”

I gave him a stern look, but the mere thought of him actually biting me anywhere made me shiver.

What in the name of Lisa Frank am I doing getting on a motorcycle with an actual biker. And why is the mere thought of Clutch biting me turning me into a cat in heat?

“C’mon, the others have a few stops to make, but you and I can head back to the Sanctuary,” he said.

“The Sanctuary?”

“It’s our clubhouse. It’s also where some of the members live, and where the garage is located. You can sign the paperwork for your Jeep, and I’ll make sure it’s all taken care of, free of charge. Then I’ll arrange for you and your baggage a lift back home.”

“You don’t have to do all that,” I said.

“Sure, I do. After all, it was my fault you crashed,” he said smiling. “If I hadn’t interrupted your concert, you’d be wherever you were headed by now.”

I felt my face get hot and knew I must be turning red.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” he said lifting my chin. “You have some mad air drumming skills.”

I smiled, blushing even more, and quickly turned my head away. “Okay, that’s enough of that,” I said sternly. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll just grab an Uber and meet you at your shop.”

“C’mon Doc, don’t be silly. Just hop on and we’ll be there before you know it,” he said sliding onto his motorcycle.

“I... ahhh... ”

“Lemme guess,” Clutch looked back at me smirking. “The good doctor has never been on a bike before.”

“No, that’s not true!” I squeaked defensively. “David and I rode Vespas in Italy on our honeymoon.”

“You rode Vespas? Like, those little scooter things?” he asked flatly.

“Yes,” I said, heat creeping up the back of my neck from embarrassment.

“Well then, I stand corrected. I didn’t realize you ran with such a rough crowd, Eldie,” he teased while I tried in vain to hide my smile. “Maybe you want to hop up front being as though you’re such an experienced badass.”

“Okay, so maybe I’ve never been on top of a real motorcycle before.” I surrendered.

“On top of a motorcycle?” He burst out laughing and I was sure I must be beet red at this point. “First of all, baby, Charlene is a bike, and you ride on her.”

“Don’t call me that,” I said.

“No, Charlene’s the name of my bike, remember. I know your name is Gin—”

“Eldie is just fine and that’s not what I meant. I meant don’t call me baby.”

“Sorry, Doc. I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just kind of how I talk with the women who hang around our club. Sweetie, baby, sugar pie, they’re terms of endearment to me, and to them.”

“I’m not one of your hang-around girls, Clutch. I’m a doctor and a woman who expects to be treated with respect,” I said sternly. Clutch’s smile dropped completely, and traces of the man that scared me flashed across his deadly serious face. He got off his bike and stepped to me.

“Gina, I’m sorry if I offended you. I’ve always respected you and appreciated what you’ve done for our club. I know you don’t really know me that well, or probably at all for that matter, but I guess I’ve just always considered you one of us. One of the Burning Saints that is.”

The sincerity and softness in his voice did things to my mind, heart, and pussy all at once, and I needed that shit to stop right here and now.

“Please come with me. I promise I’ll keep you out of harm’s way, and that Charlene’ll get us home safely. You never know, you might end up liking the ride,” he said softly.

Yeah, buddy that’s the problem.

My under-stimulated loins were clearly going through some sort of mid-life, post-divorce crisis, and this scary bad boy was doing a number on me. But something inside of me also believed him entirely when he said everything would be alright, and before I knew it, my legs were straddled around Charlene, and my arms were wrapped tightly around Clutch as we sped into the night.