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THE JOURNEY HOME is long and tiring. We have to connect twice and wait in each airport, adding hours to our travel time. But despite there being many women to flirt with, Brad doesn’t even acknowledge them. Instead, he sits me by the window, with him in the middle seat—his legs squashed up because he can’t stretch out. He holds my hand the whole journey home and never leaves my side unless we have bathroom breaks.
The house has been closed up the whole time we’ve been away, so when we arrive it’s freezing, and there isn’t anything in the cupboards. The first thing the guys want to do is eat, so they order pizzas. Now when I say they order pizzas, I’m not talking one or two. No, at least twenty-five pizzas are ordered. In all varieties. So many, we can’t even lay them all out on the table. After we eat, everyone crashes. No worries about anything or anyone anymore. It’s finally time to relax. Everything that happened in the USA goes through my mind as I lie down next to Brad—finally in his room again. I have questions, but I’m not sure how to broach them—he notices I’m in my head though.
‘What are you thinking about, beautiful?’
‘Nothing. Everything,’ I tell him, shrugging my shoulders. He looks at me with raised eyebrows. ‘Everything?’
‘You know, just everything that happened. It’s a lot to process, and then there is us?’
‘What do you mean us?’
‘Well, where do we go from here?’
‘Babe, we’ve been through this. Believe me when I tell you that you are mine. All mine. And I’m yours. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?’
I nod my head, of course I do. Always. ‘It’s just you’re not… I mean, I’m not, you know, like you? What if I’m not enough?’
‘Listen, Maiya. I need you to trust me—trust in us, okay?’ I nod. ‘Maiya, look at me, do you believe me?’ I nod again.
‘Just, I remember there was talk with that other alpha, not Jared, the other one. I heard stuff, that’s all.’
‘You heard that humans can’t know our secret?’
I nod.
‘It’s true, we can’t let just anyone run around knowing our shit, so sometimes we have to make decisions. We don’t like it, and sometimes it’s shit. But you—you’re different. Because the minute you became mine none of that shit applies.
‘It doesn’t? Why?’
‘Because you’re my mate. We don’t ever fuck with a bond, no matter what. We live by that. Sometimes people try, like Jared’s dad did with him, but it’s a law throughout the species. So it’s bigger than any alpha alone.
‘So, you really mean it then. We’re going to be together. Forever?’
‘Fuck, yes I mean it. You’re going nowhere, sweetheart.’
I grin at him. I was worried. I know I shouldn’t have been, but I can’t help that self-doubt creeping in. He crashes his lips to mine. I finally feel like I’m home. I didn’t realise for the longest time that I had these feelings—that I could ever have these feelings for someone, after everything else. Maybe life was giving me a break finally. Maybe I finally had a chance at being happy. To settle down and be with Brad. The urge I had to succeed academically in life didn’t feel so important now.
I was so desperate to make a life for myself and be successful that I didn’t pay much notice to anything for so long. Now. Now all I want is to make a life with Brad and look to a future with him. As part of his pack.
I lie next to him as we close our eyes, and a feeling settles over me, a feeling I can’t describe. I’m happy for the first time. I’m still sad about the baby, and I don’t think that will ever leave me. I’m still nervous as hell about sex and all things that go along with it. But I feel like I’m healing, which can only be a good thing. I’m content with what I have right now. Yes, that’s the feeling I can’t describe. For the first time in my whole life, I feel contentment.
We have an amazing breakfast waiting when we get up the next day. Imogen and Logan have cooked up a storm, and we have everything you could imagine. It’s late when we get to the kitchen, around eleven a.m., but the room is fully stocked and brimming with food.
My appetite is huge since I’ve been having Brad’s blood. Zoe seems to think that could be a side effect. My senses have also heightened, which is fantastic, except when something I normally love the smell of, turns my stomach. I wonder how the hell I didn’t notice this before.
Brad sits at the table beside me saying hi to everyone. Devon can’t help but smile every time she sees me with Brad. We sit opposite her and Jared. I’m still not really able to work him out yet. He really gave me a talking to that day. I know I needed it, but I still can’t work out if he likes me or has forgiven me yet. Either way, we don’t really speak—he just kind of grunts my way. Which is fine. I’m sure we’ll work it out one day.
Brad’s hand sits on my thigh the whole time we’re at breakfast. It’s nice. It feels like he doesn’t want to break the connection between us, and I’m so happy with that. Howard and the new guy, Brody, still seem to be at loggerheads over the young girl. Howard is angsty and pissed while Brody acts like he isn’t there when his sister is around. He hovers around her like he has to protect her from Howard’s stare. Maybe it will ease off when she turns eighteen. Who knows? Maybe he’s just one of those types—I’ve heard they exist—siblings that fiercely love and protect their brothers or sisters.
I get lost in my thoughts about a family and having lots of children who love and care about each other. Kids that never have a worry about their parents abusing them or leaving them to fend for themselves. That is what I want. It hits me then. I want a big family. I want to have lots of kids. I wonder briefly how Brad will feel about that. But again, he notices when I’m in my head.
‘Penny for your thoughts?’ he asks. I shake my head, smiling at him, aware that this isn’t the right place to discuss it. And I don’t want to frighten him either.
‘Come on, spill.’ He smiles.
‘I was just thinking about the future and stuff,’ I say, shrugging my shoulders at him like it’s no big deal.
‘Ah well, in that case, you need to tell me, sweetheart, because it involves me, and if it doesn’t, then you have some re-planning to do,’ he says, being funny as usual. I hit his shoulder and tell him to shush. His arm comes around my shoulder, and he pulls me into his side. Whispering in my ear, ‘Plenty of time, beautiful. We’ve got forever.’ Tears brim my eyes, and I have to swallow the tight feeling in my throat. It means so much to hear him say that.
When we’re done with breakfast, we go for a walk in the woods around the house. I think about the fact that he comes to run here as a wolf, and a thought crosses my mind. Before I can stop it, I blurt it out, ‘I’ve never seen you as a wolf.’
‘Yeah I know,’ he laughs, kicking a branch on the ground before he looks at me.
‘I’d like to.’
His brows shoot up in question.
‘Don’t look at me like that. I’d really like to see, you know, what you look like when you change.’
‘Umm. well, you know the pictures you see of wolves?’ he laughs as I smack his arm. ‘What? That’s what I look like.’
‘But I want to see you… what you look like. Not a picture.’ His look turns serious, and he stops walking, resting his arms on my shoulders as he turns to face me.
‘You said you didn’t like—’
‘That was before, Brad. I was scared and broken. I was wrong about you—all of you.’
He exhales like a huge weight has lifted from his shoulders. ‘Brad, you didn’t think I still felt that way?’ I ask surprised.
‘No, no. I mean, I didn’t know how you felt about it. I was hoping, but I didn’t want to push my luck, you know?’
I nod. I had been such a bitch, and I had a lot of making up to do.
‘I’m so sorry, Brad.’
He shakes his head at me.
‘No, please hear me out. I’m sorry I judged you, all of you. I was horrible, and all you did was care for me and keep me safe. I’m ashamed I behaved like I did.’ I lower my eyes to the ground and swallow that lump in my throat once again.
‘Hey… Maiya, look at me,’ he says, tilting my chin upwards so our eyes meet. ‘You were in a bad way. In a shitty situation and came from a place I can only imagine was worse than hell itself. You had every right to be the way you were. Don’t ever apologise, okay?’
I nod because I don’t want to argue. I will always feel bad about that, and no amount of apologising will make me feel differently. He takes my hand in his, and we walk a little further in silence.
‘So, can I see you?’
He looks at me and has a cute smile on his face.
‘Sure you can, but I have to get naked, and when I’m naked, and you’re around.’ He shrugs and acts like anything he does naked he isn’t responsible for. I giggle and push at his shoulder.
‘So get naked,’ I tell him, feeling suddenly confident in myself.
‘Thing is, one of two things will happen when I get naked. One: I’ll go off in the distance and change, giving you what you want—you’ll stroke my back and scratch my ears, and I’ll get all horny and then when I change back, I’ll get you all dirty in the mud.’ I giggle at his stupid speech ‘Or I will get naked, and my dick will get all worked up ‘cause your close and then I’ll have to get you all dirty in the mud.’ He screws his face up into a daft smile like he really has no control over the situation, which makes me laugh even more. I’m laughing so hard that when he picks me up, I barely notice him laying us on the ground. He’s careful not to crowd me in, making sure I’m not restrained or restricted. He is always thinking of me—how I feel and what I can cope with.
‘I really do want to see you,’ I tell him.
He smiles. ‘You just want me naked.’
‘I do enjoy you naked.’ I smile.
He smiles and kisses my lips gently. ‘You sure?’ he asks, and I nod.
‘Yes, I’m sure.’
‘I’m going to go off just a little way because I’m not gonna lie, changing isn’t pretty, and you don’t need to see that, okay?’
‘Sure.’
He wanders a little way before he turns around again. ‘Just remember, I’m still me, but as a wolf, our instincts are a little different, okay? If you get scared, don’t run, alright?’
I nod an okay and sit up on the ground where he left me, watching as he walks further into the thick brush. I wait a while and hear what I assume must be him changing. It sounds like it could be painful. This hearing is so superior to what I’m used to, but the more I have it, the more I am relying on it. I’d hate to go back to my normal. My thoughts are still on my unusually heightened senses when I see a huge dark brown wolf approaching from where Brad disappeared.
I thought I’d be scared, but I’m not, as I watch him walk towards me. I get up and move to walk towards him. He makes a little chuffing noise, and so I stay still. He stops about a meter away and doesn’t come any closer. I stare in awe. He is beautiful. His dark eyes are glistening and are just as beautiful and bright as they are in his human form. I move a step forward, and he lowers his head a little. I stretch out my hand in the hope that he will close the distance. He does, and my hand is running through the fur on his head between his shoulders and down his back. He sits on his haunches and looks at me, his head tilted to the side. I smile and run my hands from his head, down the sides of his muzzle. His fur feels amazing and so soft. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. I look him in the eyes.
‘I love you, Brad,’ I tell him, unsure if he will understand me.
His head tilts to the side again, and he licks my hand, nudging me with his nose until I sit. When he has me where he wants me, he dashes off behind a huge tree, and I hear him changing again. Brad comes storming out from behind the tree with a look of sheer determination on his face. My eyes widen at the look on his face. He picks me up and crashes his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, and as my feet leave the ground, I wrap my legs around his waist. He growls deep in his chest, and it sends a shiver of sensation all through my body. His tongue seeks out mine, and we kiss so passionately, it’s amazing. He breaks the kiss, and I’m left panting with need.
‘You choose then to tell me you love me?’ he says against my lips.
‘So you understood me?’ he laughs now, like a really deep belly laugh.
‘What? Do you think that we lose the ability to use our brain?’ He laughs again.
I smile at his amusement at my naivety. ‘No, I don’t think that. I just didn’t know.’ He smiles and kisses me again. When he breaks the kiss, he says, ‘You love me?’
I nod, our foreheads pressed together. ‘Yes, I do,’ I tell him breathlessly.
‘Fuck, beautiful, what you do to me.’ He grins and my stomach flutters. ‘I love you too.’
I smile at his admission, and I feel an ache in my chest—an ache that feels so damn good. Like my heart has just opened up and accepted him and everything that comes along with him. I squeeze my arms around his neck, and if I could get closer right now, I would. He chuckles and leans us up against a tree.
‘Sweetheart, I need to get you naked and get inside you—like now.’
I giggle. ‘Well, I’m not arguing?’
That’s all he needs to hear. My feet hit the floor, and my jacket, top, and bra come off in record time. I kick off my shoes, and he yanks down my jeans, growling when they get stuck around my knees. I remove his big clumsy hands and push them off my legs, stepping out of them as his gaze makes me sizzle all over. His head is tilted, and his eyes are so intent on me that he’s zoned out. He has a look on his face like he could eat me alive—not in a scary way but in a hot-as-all hell way. He makes me feel like a woman—like I’m sexy and worth something. He makes me feel again. That is everything to me. He is everything to me. He hauls me up, so I wrap my arms and legs around him, and he pushes inside me. As he gets all the way in, his eyes close and he tilts his head backwards, exhaling hard. I hum in his ear as he moves me up and down his cock, using his upper body strength. It’s bliss but could be made so much easier for him if we were turned around with me against the tree. I whisper my suggestion in his ear. I see something flash in his eyes, but he turns me, capturing my lips as he does. His thrusts are deeper and faster because he has more leverage. He pulls out from me and drops me to the ground.
‘Get on your hands and knees, sweetheart.’ His words are lust-filled and raw like he has difficulty speaking. I get on my hands and knees, facing away from him, knowing what he wants. I want to give this to him too. To give this to myself. I want new pleasurable memories with Brad to chase away the bad. I look over my shoulder as he kneels behind me—a lust filled look on his face as he lines himself up with me. He pushes inside, and my head drops, my eyes closing in pleasure. This angle has him so deep and pushing against the spot inside he always manages to find. Oh god, I’m going to come. I get that heat-filled tingling sensation, starting in my stomach. The same sensation that made me feel dirty and horrid now has a new meaning. It now fills me with excitement and love. Brad makes me feel alive, like a woman: sexy and beautiful, wanted and loved. I start to tremble, and my knees and arms barely hold out. I’m panting. I go down to my elbows and forearms, and he goes deeper still.
‘Brad… Oh god… Brad.’ I pant as his thrusts get faster and faster. He’s hammering into me, holding my hips in place,
‘Give it to me, sweetheart,’ he grunts, and that’s all it takes for me to shatter around him and turn into a quivering wreck as I scream out my orgasm. My eyes close and bursts of light take over behind my lids. I feel tremble after tremble quake through my body. He groans out as I feel him come inside me. His cock becoming harder still, right before he gives his entire orgasm to me. Then he stills and groans again. I turn my head to take in the view and the look on his face is blissful pleasure. I smile, knowing together, we made that happen—we made us feel like this. It’s an awesome feeling, and I want more. Now and every day.
‘Let’s not ever stop doing this,’ I say as he lays on the ground, pulling me, so my head rests against his chest.
‘Who are you trying to convince, sweetheart? Because I won’t ever stop. As long as we’re both breathing, I'll want to be inside of you,’ he tells me like it’s the most normal thing to say, making me smile so hard, my face aches.