Chapter 21

 

October 2012

 

Lena sat on the floor of her father’s home office, surrounded by stacks of paper of various sizes. The door of the now-empty wall safe stood open behind her as she read through document after document and placed them atop the appropriate piles. It had been seven months since Nate’s death and three since the trial that had put his murderer behind bars, but Lena hadn’t felt up to entering her father’s house again until recently. It would be going on the market soon, and while the estate lawyers had seen to just about everything, there were some tasks that would have been inappropriate to delegate to anyone else.

Every so often, she reached down to lightly scratch her right ankle, where a small tattoo had just reached the ‘itchy’ stage of healing. It was a simple silhouette of an airplane whose dotted jetstream formed the shape of a heart. The tattoo, along with her return to her father’s house, was one of many steps she’d taken toward achieving the closure she needed, especially since so much had been left unresolved between them.

Their last conversation still haunted Lena, but she was gradually beginning to accept that Nate would have forgiven her if he’d had the chance. She’d already forgiven him for his shortcomings, and thanks to her progress in therapy, she was well on her way to absolving herself of the guilt she’d carried for so long.

Lena had chosen the tattoo to commemorate her father, and it gave her a warm feeling of peace when she looked at it. Nate was always in her heart, but now she carried a physical token as well. Her scars, limited though they might be, were a reminder of the way he’d died. But that tiny airplane and heart on her ankle was a reminder of the way he’d lived: with boundless love and dreams that even gravity couldn’t contain.

As she continued to sort through the physical remnants of Nathaniel Gardner’s life, Lena was struck by how little there would be to throw away. Her father hadn’t been one to hold onto things he didn’t need. Business and financial documents would be scanned into secure digital files and then shredded. Pictures and other keepsakes would, for the time being, go into boxes and be transferred to one of the guest rooms at the condo, where she would be able to sort through them more carefully in her free time.

There were a number of family-related documents like birth certificates, her parents’ marriage certificate, and so on, that Lena intended to file away in her private safe at home. Just as her fingers touched the next manila file, Owen strode into the room, carrying two bottles of water and a plate of brownies.

“I see Millie is enjoying being back in her old kitchen,” Lena grinned wryly. “She spoils you even more than she spoils me.”

“It’s not like I could say no,” he shrugged. “I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

They chuckled together as he sat down on the floor across from her and set the food and drinks between them. Amelia Stuart had been Nate’s housekeeper for nearly ten years, and she’d been Lena’s first choice when they’d decided to hire a housekeeper for their new apartment. Although she would have preferred to go without a household staff, the condo was a bit too large for her and Owen to manage on their own. Between their busy work schedules, Lena’s slow physical recovery, and her return to school, there was simply no getting around the fact that they needed help.

Having Millie around was bittersweet in a way. She was a tangible connection to Lena’s childhood and to her father, but there were days when that connection felt less like a comfort and more like a poignant reminder of all Lena had lost.

“What’ve you got there?” Owen asked, gesturing to the file she’d just opened on her lap. Lena scanned the first page briefly.

“Looks like some of my grandmother’s old medical records from Mass Gen.”

“You have a grandmother?” he frowned in confusion. “I thought you said…”

“I had a grandmother. Just one. My mom’s mom. She was… Not well.” Lena pursed her lips ruefully as she flipped through the file. “She was hospitalized for severe schizophrenia before I was born. I’m not sure she ever really understood that I existed. My mom did the best she could with the bills, and Dad took over after she died. Once GC was doing well, he had her moved to the best psychiatric hospital in the country.”

“Wow. I’m sorry, love.”

“It’s alright. I made my peace with it years ago,” she assured him, smiling a little at his empathetic expression.

“Did you ever get to meet her?”

“Sort of. When I was about twelve, I convinced my dad to fly us to Boston so I could at least meet her, since she wasn’t in any fit state to be moved to Seattle. She was the only other family I had, and I felt like I was being cheated because I’d never been given the opportunity to know her. I was naive and… selfish,” Lena admitted. Before Owen could argue with her, she continued, “Dad had tried to prepare me beforehand, but I didn’t grasp the reality of the situation until I actually saw her.

“Unfortunately, we chose a bad day to visit, and… It was scary. She was having an episode when we arrived. She was terrified of the windows in her room because she saw something very different outside of them than the trees and buildings everyone else could see. They had to sedate and restrain her so she wouldn’t hurt herself or anyone else. We stayed until she woke up later that afternoon. She was more lucid at that point, but even then, she didn’t really know who we were.

“I think maybe she might have recognized my mom if she’d been there, but Dad and I were total strangers to her. I don’t think she even understood the concept of my being her granddaughter,” Lena sighed, glancing back down at the records. “Anyway… A few years later, she passed away after a severe stroke. She’s buried next to my mom.”

“Jesus… I can’t even imagine. And you’re sure there are no other relatives…?”

“Not on Mom’s or Dad’s sides. If there’s anyone from my birth father’s family who wanted to know me, they had their chance a long time ago,” she shrugged.

“But I’m sure we could find them. They’re still your family.”

“No,” Lena shook her head, smiling gently. “If growing up with Nate Gardner taught me anything, it’s that sometimes your ‘family’ are the people you choose. The people who earn the privilege of being a part of your life. You are my family. And the Langfords are my family now too, just as they’re yours. Whether or not we all share DNA has nothing to do with it.”

Owen grinned back at her and leaned across the small space to kiss her.

“I couldn’t have said it better.”

 

 

June 2014

 

The kitchen was filled with the aroma of sizzling steaks and the sound of a catchy pop song that emanated from Lena’s cell phone. She swayed her hips to the beat and mouthed the words as she stirred the vegetables, pausing to test the tenderness of a small piece of squash. She’d had a long day of summer classes and other obligations, but there was no fatigue powerful enough to kill her mood.

It was their first anniversary, and Owen was on his way home.

They had married in the Langfords’ backyard, standing on a hillside that overlooked Lake Washington. It had been a small, beautiful ceremony that had suited each of them perfectly. They had bucked tradition by asking Logan to escort her down the aisle and then take his place as her Best Man, while Julia had stood beside Owen as his Maid of Honor. The guest list had been limited to close friends of the family and a handful of trusted employees. Their honeymoon had been shorter than they would have liked, owing to their many responsibilities, but as Lena stood preparing their anniversary dinner, she contemplated the prospect of taking another trip sometime soon.

She had just begun the summer semester and would be graduating in six months, having devoted nearly every spare moment to her studies over the past two years. Her publishing company would be up and running well before that, however, as they were currently in the process of hiring staff and completing the construction of their new building. Lena was already sizing up several of the area’s smaller publishing companies with an eye to acquire, hoping to one day dominate the industry in the Pacific Northwest.

Owen and Charlotte had become an excellent team at GC. So excellent, in fact, that Charlotte had replaced Lena as COO, promoting from within to fill her former position. Although Lena had retained more than half the ownership of the company, it had been a relief to be able to step away and pursue her own interests.

Anyone who might’ve thought Owen too young to run such a large corporation had been eating crow for quite some time. He’d taken Nate’s success and built upon it, expanding into completely new areas of the industry. GC now produced components for spacecraft as well as aircraft, and their charitable humanitarian efforts had been doubled since he’d taken his permanent place as CEO.

GC routinely supplied aircraft components and funding for charitable missions to third world countries, delivering food and basic supplies to those who needed it most. Owen’s ultimate goal was to end world hunger, and he had challenged their corporate peers to follow GC’s example. Other companies had since taken up similar initiatives, and their collaborative efforts put food in the bellies of thousands every day. Lena’s pride in her husband’s success was limitless, and she knew Nate would have been proud of them both.

In the two years since her father’s death, she had put in countless hours of therapy, working diligently to overcome her anger, relinquish her guilt, and let go of the past. She hadn’t needed a session with Maitland since the previous Christmas, which had happened to coincide with Jeffrey Phelps’ unexpected demise. Although he’d avoided the death penalty, Phelps had come from such a luxurious existence that he’d been ill-prepared to deal with the realities of prison. Stress and a lifetime of poor health decisions had set him up for a massive heart attack, and the prison infirmary doctors hadn’t been able to save him. Lena had needed to talk through a maelstrom of emotions in the wake of his death, but Maitland had been able to sort her out.

The difference in her mood from that day to this one could not be more profound. She sipped her bottled water as she danced across the tiled floor to retrieve a single stemmed wine glass from the cabinet and a bottle of wine from the small cellar next to the refrigerator.

“Ma’am?”

Lena blushed as she spun around to see Wyatt, who seemed determined not to crack a smile.

“We’re at home, Seth. It’s just Lena,” she reminded him with a smile.

“Of course. You asked me to let you know when Owen was on his way up.”

“Perfect, thank you!”

He nodded and retreated to the staff quarters, and Lena swiped through a few screens on her phone to switch the music. She settled upon a classical piece that she knew Owen found to be relaxing and turned down the volume. As she uncorked the wine and filled his glass, her eyes darted for the thousandth time to the small gift box on the counter, and she wondered how Owen would react to her news.

She knew he would be happy, but would he be shocked? Or nervous? Would he go into some heightened mode of overprotection and refuse to let her do anything for herself? They’d discussed this particular matter several times throughout their engagement and in the year since their wedding, finally coming to a decision just before her last medical appointment. They hadn’t thought this would happen so quickly, but here she was… About to gift him with something she’d peed on and hoping she didn’t send him into a state of shock.

Lena loved the thought of Owen with a baby in his arms, crooning and smiling down at the tiny bundle. The mental image alone was enough to have her hand drifting to her lower abdomen, and she smiled, already head-over-heels in love with their child.

Would it be a little sandy-haired boy with her blue eyes and sense of humor? A green-eyed, red-headed little girl with his endearing love of order and structure? She knew Owen would be a wonderful father, but she couldn’t help but worry that growing up without a mother might diminish her own skill in that role…

Lena shook off the troublesome thought as she heard the sound of the elevator doors opening to admit Owen and Logan. The latter waved and headed for the staff quarters, no doubt in search of his own wife. Logan and Valerie might easily have moved to a place of their own, but Logan was diligent and committed to his job. He’d been adamant that he should be as near as possible at all times, which meant being in the same building at the very least. After much deliberation, they had opted to expand part of the existing staff quarters into a comfortably-sized apartment for them, and everyone seemed content with the arrangement for the time being.

Hmm… We’ll have to find a place with a guest house for them eventually, Lena mused.

Owen beamed at her as he entered the kitchen and inhaled deeply.

“Smells amazing. Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Langford.”

“Right back at you, handsome. Though I think I prefer the way you said it this morning,” Lena giggled.

“With the morning sex and multiple orgasms?”

“It had a certain charm.”

“Oh, don’t worry. There’s sure to be a repeat performance in a few hours.” Owen grinned flirtatiously and swept her into his arms, kissing her soundly. After a few moments, he forced himself to release her, lest they burn dinner and end up eating takeout.

He shed his jacket and tie as he watched her fill their plates, enjoying the domestic feel of the moment just as he always did. Even after more than two years together, Owen was still amazed at how lucky he was to have her and how they seemed to have defied the odds at every turn. As screwed up as he’d been at four years old, he’d been fortunate enough to meet his Ellie and to connect with her in a way he’d never bonded with anyone before or since. And as incredible and unlikely as it was, they had found one another again after being separated for fifteen years.

His world had always been such a dark place, but she had brought light into it each time their paths had crossed. He’d carried her with him in his heart all those years… And he carried her there still.

Lena set the plates and drinks on the breakfast bar, and Owen placed the silverware next to them, finally spotting the small rectangular box on the counter.

“What’s this?” he smirked as he picked it up. “I knew you couldn’t stick to the ‘no gift’ rule. Good thing I didn’t either, but yours is in the bedroom. Do you want it now?”

“I did stick to it, actually… This is something else.” Lena fidgeted nervously and moved to stand in front of him. “Open it.”

Owen’s brow quirked playfully as slipped the satin bow from the box and opened the lid. He stared blankly at the small object inside, failing to realize immediately what he was looking at. He’d never seen one in person before, but his eyes widened as they found the tiny screen and zeroed in on the word displayed there.

Pregnant.

His head snapped upward to look at her, and his mouth hung open for several seconds as his pulse skyrocketed.

“Really?!”

“Yes,” Lena nodded, smiling brilliantly as she watched his eyes glisten with emotion. “I went to the doctor today to conf—”

The rest of her words were swallowed by his lips, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him and spinning her in a full circle. He didn’t stop kissing her until they were both in need of oxygen, and Lena giggled as she gasped for air.

“Does that mean this is a happy surprise?”

“Of course! Oh, my god, baby… Baby!” Owen was practically giddy as he dropped to his knees and lifted her shirt to expose her still-flat tummy. He pressed his lips to her soft skin over and over. “I love you so much. Both of you.”

He stood and reclaimed her lips, kissing her breathless once again.

“Thank you so much,” he whispered. Lena laughed and hugged him tighter.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you.” They chuckled together at the lame joke, and Owen leaned his forehead against hers, seeing his happy tears mirrored in her eyes.

“Not just for this, Lena. Thank you for loving me. For trusting me. For believing in me. You’ve always been the light I carry in my heart. Like an ember that could never stop glowing, even when everything else went dark. You’re the one person in my life who has always been there.”

“And always will be.”

“Always. And now there will be someone new. Another person to light up my world. I love you so much, Lena.”

“I love you too, Owen. Always have.”

“Always will.”