I squint into the sunlit afternoon as I walk with Tony through the oak-lined walking path in Audubon Park. There are a couple of bodyguards walking behind us, but I can pretty much ignore them as I hold onto Tony’s elbow. A jogger runs by, her hair sweaty, her black leggings and jacket looking overly warm.

Maybe I should take up running. Make the guards really work to chase me, without getting myself in trouble. The idea makes the corners of my mouth lift in a smile.

I stroll in my black peacoat, looking at Tony in his oversized beige sweater. “Are you warm enough?”

Tony shrugs. “I’m fine. I don’t see why we gotta walk, though.”

“Because,” I tell him. “We don’t want you just sitting around, doing nothing. You have to move around. Inhabit your space.”

He rolls his eyes at me, unamused. “Yeah, whatever.”

I ignore his childish response and just keep strolling. We pass a mother pushing her child in a stroller, a look of determination on her face, the expensive exercise outfit she’s wearing speaking volumes. She’s whip-thin, even though her baby is really young; I can tell that she worked out throughout her whole pregnancy with the same stoicism that I see on her face now.

She is forgettable, but her little baby is super cute. Tucked away under a pile of blankets, he sleeps peacefully while his mom gets her sweat on. My ovaries do a weird little dance when I see the baby.

What’s up with that? I must be about to ovulate or something, cause that baby is calling my name. I’m imagining myself having one of those, bouncing a boy like that on my hip as he fusses.

I’m way too young for that, I know, but I have to admit, it does look nice. Someday, I think I might like to have what she has.

“You staring at the baby?” my brother blurts out, ruining my fantasy. “Shit, unless you and your boyfriend are using condoms every time, you’re gonna end up like mom. Four kids by the time she was twenty-five.”

Shooting a glare at Tony, I shake my head. “You presume a lot.”

“For real? It’s not that big of a house, Kit Kat. I can hear every single thing you two do together.” He looks glib. “I know that he calls you princess, which is quaint.”

Shame turns my face red. “Tony, shut up.”

“What? Whatever, whoever said I can’t listen to my little sister getting her swerve on with her boyfriend—”

I pull up short, growing angry in a flash. My temper flares and I can’t keep my voice down. “You keep calling him that that. My boyfriend. But you and I both know that he’s not my boyfriend. He bought me at a slave market because you sold me.”

I can feel the pinpricks of tears in my eyes, even through my fury.

Tony’s expression grows defensive. “I tried to tell you beforehand, didn’t I?”

“What good was that?” I ask, incredulous. “You were drunk. I didn’t have any reason to believe you. What was I supposed to do? Huh? Run away from home?”

He licks his lips, his gaze sliding around, checking to make sure that no one else hears. “Look, it is what it is.”

For a moment, I’m dumbfounded by his explanation. “It is what it is? What the fuck, Tony? What am I supposed to say to that? ‘Oh, Tony says that I shouldn’t care that I got kidnapped because he and my family sold me. After all, he says, it is what it is’.”

He looks a little ashamed, but he lifts his chin.

“That’s in the past. What I can’t figure out is…” He stops, licks his lips again as he looks around, then leans close. “When are you going to get the fuck out of here? There is hardly any security. And you got me as your backup…”

My hackles raise. “You’re suggesting that I leave him? He’s made it perfectly clear that he’ll kill me rather than just let me go. And besides, where would I go? What would I do?” I swallow against the emotions rising in my throat. “Why should I feel safer with you, anyway? You’re the one who stabbed me in the back. You looked on as I screamed and begged you not to let the cops take me.”

Tony has the nerve to look hurt. “You’re fine! You’re even warming up to this… this GUY and you’re obviously enjoying fucking him, so—”

“I’m not fine! I’m clearly not fine! You are teasing me about my boyfriend, who is the man who won me at a fucked-up slave auction! Where in the hell do you get off, telling me I’m fine?!”

He screws up his face, ready to retort, but I’m done. I spin on my heel, tears cascading down my face, and sprint toward the only home I even know. As I race toward the house, bitter arguments fill my head.

How dare my brother, my betrayer, judge me for finding pleasure in Monster’s bed? How dare he say anything at all about how we should run away? Tony was free until recently, and he crawled willingly into captivity.

And for what? Drugs. Not just drugs, but heroin.

Obviously, I can’t trust a single word that Tony says. Every word out of his mouth is probably just a lie to figure out how to get free, to go right back to using that stuff.

Still, that doesn’t stop the shame I feel. It was one thing when I knew that I was enjoying Monster’s attention too much.

It’s another entirely when my brother calls me out for loudly and vocally liking what Monster does to me. Does with me, if I’m being honest.

Because I like the things Monster does. I like Monster too. His dark looks, his iron-grey stare. His big body, his amazing cock.

All of it, I like all of it. And that just makes me turn more red, embarrassed and ashamed.

What have I become?

Sobbing, I reach the house and fling myself through the front door.