BALEN AND I WALKED INTO the house and he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “We’ll find him.”
He’d started to walk away when I said, “You sacrificed everything for Danni.”
He nodded, frowning. “Yes.”
“If you had to let her go in order for her to keep something that defined who she was, would you?”
“No, Delara. I’d never let Danni go. I’m kind of selfish when it comes to her.”
He winked at me and walked away.
Danni and Balen had been through so much together—torture, a fight for their lives, and being torn apart for two years. Their love was what defined them.
But Waleron’s oath to his mother and the Goddess was who he was, what defined him. It prevailed over all else. It had also tainted our love. Did he protect me because he loved me still? Or because of his oath?
Waleron’s scent wafted into the room and I felt him come up behind me. “You okay, maitagarri?”
No. “Yes.”
His hands settled on my hips, and I shivered, my heart rate shooting off. There was no fighting my body’s reaction to his touch. Our bond was too powerful to sever.
Slowly, he turned me around to face him and his hand cupped my chin, thumb caressing my lower lip. “Waleron….”
He bent and his mouth took mine.
A wave of heat rose through my body and an ache stirred between my legs, while butterflies soared in my belly. He deepened the kiss and I sagged in to him. I was exhausted, fighting this. What was fated for us. What kept us apart and yet brought us together.
He groaned as his kiss deepened. My hands slid up his chest to his shoulders then curled around his neck.
I’d always thought if we separated it would heal me from this agonizing love, but it never had.
Love couldn’t be healed, because it’s what healed us.
We’d been together—yet apart—for years, and when he kissed me, I loved him all over again.
Whether I wanted it to or not, he defined me.
He trailed kisses along my neck. “When this is over with Tarek, we will find a way.”
I didn’t say anything.
“There are things you need to know about me. Parts of me you have never seen, and they are not good.”
A part of me wanted to leap into his arms and hold him to me with the feeling of elation wrapping around my soul. The other part of me wanted to haul off and punch him in the face. “Why? Why now?”
Did his words have a motive?
If I gave him me again, would he throw me aside as soon as Xamien was out of the picture. When I’d been with Edan, he’d said he’d try. But it was just to keep me from Edan.
“And the pills?” God, I wanted to trust him so much.
“The pills stay, Delara.”
Why was I contemplating letting him back in? After all he’d done to me. The denial. The hurt. The manipulation. The control.
It was like he was my savior and ruin wrapped into one.
“We will find a way. I cannot…. Maitagarri, I cannot lose you.”
But there was no finding a way anymore. It was too late. The Wraiths saw me as a threat to Waleron’s ability to make decisions rationally. He could lose his Taldeburu just for loving me, and I’d fight with everything I had to make certain that never happened.
I closed my eyes briefly and slowly pulled from his arms, knowing what I had to do. I raised my chin and met his brilliant blue eyes. “I don’t want to find a way, Tac.”
His jaw clenched and his Ink’s eyes blazed deep red. “Delara.”
“No, Tac,” I said calmly. “I’m sorry.”
“Delara….”
“I don`t trust you, Waleron,” I said, but the words tasted sour on my tongue.
His body jerked and his eyes went ice cold. “I will Trace you to Spain in five minutes. Don’t expect to come back here.” He turned abruptly on his heel, then added, “Ever.”
His words were like a punch to the stomach. But this was what I wanted. What he needed. I had to stay away from him. It was the only way.
I walked out the front door and sat on the steps, gulping in cool breaths of air. I wasn’t only losing Waleron by changing Taldes, but Jedrik, Keir, Hack, and Anstice. We were a family. I’d grown up with Jedrik and he was my best friend.
The door opened and shut behind me, and I turned to see Damien.
He leaned up against the pillar at the top of the steps. It appeared casual and relaxed, but I smelled the inner rage leaking from his pores.
His eyes met mine and for a second I remembered the man he once was, before Abby. The virgin king, the woman hater, the diabolical vampire hunter.
Now, what was left was a man filled with grief and hatred.
“You deserve better than both of them.” I assumed both meant Waleron and Xamien. “Waleron killed the only woman I will ever love, and Xamien deserves to rot in Hell.”
I had no intention of listening to his shit. I was halfway to my feet when he grabbed my arm. I tried to pull away, but his bruising fingers dug into my skin.
“You protected Abby. For that I’m in your debt.”
I looked away, afraid he’d see the truth in my eyes about Abby. God, I wanted to tell him. I hated knowing Abby lived and Damien was tortured believing she was dead.
But it was Abby’s decision. He was known for being one of the greatest vampire hunters, and she was now one of his prey.
“But you’re being a bitch, giving up on Waleron,” he said.
God, I wanted to slap his arrogant face. What the hell did he know? He knew nothing about my relationship with Waleron, or lack thereof. Most of the time, Damien lived as a solitary in Florida. He’d only come back when he helped with the vampire Ryzard incident, and then when he had to look after Abby during her Transition.
I tried to yank out of his grip, but he didn’t let me. “Let me go, Damien.”
A haunted look crept across his face and his next words were filled with so much anguish that any animosity I’d felt diminished.
He released me and his voice grew quiet. “Abby. She gave up on me. She didn’t believe I could love her after she Turned. She was afraid she’d hurt me.” His voice deepened, husky with a menacing tone. “Don’t let him decide for both of you. Don’t let anyone fuckin’ decide.”
The door opened and Jedrik came out.
“You okay, sass?” Jedrik asked, but he was looking at Damien.
Damien kept his eyes locked on me. He ground his teeth and his knuckles cracked as he clenched his hands into fists. “I’d have become my own worst enemy for her,” Damien said. He abruptly turned on his heel and strode out into the garden.
Damien was the best vampire hunter we had. And yet, he’d have become a vampire for her. And Abby gave up on him.
Because she didn’t trust herself not to hurt him.
Oh God. Waleron. What happened to us?
Waleron was afraid he’d hurt me. He’d given up on us because he didn’t trust himself any longer. I’d given up on us, too. The trust had been eaten alive by the fear of hurting one another.
But I kept holding on. All these years, an ember of hope had still burned in my heart. It was Waleron. I couldn’t live without him, and now, when that ember was burning brighter, the Wraiths were threatening the one thing he coveted more than anything.
Balen said he’d never let Danni go, no matter what. But to fight the Wraiths? To risk Waleron’s Taldeburu? How could I do that? What if I failed?
I was afraid to let him in, but wasn’t I drowning without him? Wasn’t he worth the risk? I’d fought the Wraiths for Balen’s life. Why did I hesitate to fight for the man I loved?
“Sass?” Jedrik put his arm around my waist. He pushed a strand of hair aside and tucked it behind my ear.
A stray tear slipped from my eye and slid down my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb.
“I’ve been suffocating for so long, Jedrik. I thought it was because he overprotected me and I couldn’t get free of him, but—” I inhaled sharply and held back the sobs that threatened to fall at my next words. “But it’s because I can’t breathe without him.”