KATE
A thin ray of light pierced through the darkness. Though opening her eyes was harder than anything she’d ever done, nearly impossible, a hazy figure took shape. The blur slowly turned into the dark hair and fine lines of her sister’s face.
Kate struggled to sit up, but her sister’s hand shot out and gripped hers. Her eyes traveled there, to the connection and the warmth slowly seeping up her cold hand. She realized there was an IV at her wrist.
As the fog cleared from her head and her ears turned back on, she realized there was a beeping sound to her right. It hurt to turn that way, but Kate swiveled her eyes in that direction. She could just make out the gray blobs of equipment. Something green danced across one of the screens.
“Hey,” Tia said softly. She leaned in and her eyes gave away all the worry she kept from her voice.
“Where- am- I?” Kate’s voice came out all wrong, raspy and scratchy, like she’d just chewed broken glass. Her throat hurt because it was so dry.
Her entire body felt sluggish. She struggled to remember what happened. Hospital. I’m in the hospital. She nearly sat up again when her head cleared and everything came flooding back.
“The hospital, sweetheart.” Tia squeezed her hand so tight that it actually hurt. “Oh my god, I can’t believe any of this.”
“What… happened?” She had to know.
Kate had to know if Creed had survived. She searched her memory, a sea of black that refused to cooperate. She tried to summon back those last sensations before everything went dark. Her heart and stomach clenched at the same time and she thought, for a second, she was going to be sick. Bile crawled up her throat as fear gripped her.
The men. There were so many of them. The guns. The rage on Jim’s face, the hate and insanity in his eyes. The courage on the face of the man who stepped forward, who dared to speak for Creed’s innocence. The ones who questioned the way Jim ran the club- however he saw fit. They were tired of being pawns and tools. She’d just been a catalyst for all that anger. Well, really, Creed had. She’d been the one stupid enough to get to a gun and pull the trigger.
Tia released her hand and shifted in the uncomfortable chair she was sitting in. The thing had hospital written all over it with a straight up back, a hard black seat with little cushioning, and glaring metal legs. Because it wasn’t like anyone who sat with their loved ones might want to be comfortable.
Her sister dug a paper out of her purse and passed it over. Kate narrowed her eyes and stared hard at it once it was set in her waiting hand. She couldn’t read. The words refused to focus. They swam in front of her blurry eyes.
“Sorry.” Tia took the paper back. “I- here. I’ll read it to you.”
She began, but Kate tuned out everything but what she really needed to hear. That she’d apparently been kidnapped. That the club had one hell of a showdown. Some of the members were wanted on several counts of murder, armed robbery, rape, abduction, breaking and entering- the list went on and on. In short, they were bad guys. Duh. Her heart beat hard in her chest when her sister hesitated near the end.
“No,” Kate whispered through her sore, raw throat. “That’s not it. That’s not the end.”
Tia glanced away. When her eyes drifted back, they were tear stained. Kate’s heart stopped dead in her chest. No. She refused to believe it. He isn’t gone. I know he found me. I know he’s the reason I’m here.
“I’m sorry,” Tia whispered. “Everyone was dead. The entire club. They- they all shot each other. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“But- people- don’t really care because they were bad.”
“I- I don’t know,” Tia admitted. “I think that the police are doing their best to figure out what happened.”
“How did I- get out?” She wanted to believe it was Creed. That he’d carried her to safety. If that was true, though, where was he? Had she just dreamed those last fleeting images of him?
“You were found behind a stack of crates. You were shot once, in the thigh. You were there, unconscious.”
“What?” she gasped. No, no, please don’t let that be true. Please. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over. Obviously her sister thought they were for another reason entirely.
Tia clenched her hand hard, like Kate was hanging from a cliff and Tia was her last lifeline. “It’s okay. We’re going to get you whatever help you need. Therapy. Jack knows some good people. I know it must have been an awful experience, getting kidnapped, being taken, getting shot. I can’t imagine what those men-”
“They didn’t do anything to me.” Kate needed Tia to know that. “They didn’t touch me. Creed, he made sure it didn’t happen.” Of course Tia knew nothing about them. She knew nothing about how Kate had lost her heart. She’d held onto it so tight her entire life, protected herself, and then she’d given it in the span of twenty-four hours.
Tia nodded slowly. “I know that they didn’t touch you, you were examined when you came in. You didn’t have any injuries other than the bullet wound.”
Tia blinked hard and her eyes grew shadowed. “I think knowing you weren’t molested is the only thing that has kept Jack sane. I’ve never seen him like this. Like- he’s just- haunted.”
Kate reached over and placed her hand on top of Tia’s sandwiching the small palm between her own. “I’ll talk to him.” She looked right at her sister. “It’s okay, Ti. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Her sister’s eyes filled up again and when she blinked, tears spilled down her cheeks. “I didn’t call mom and dad, since the doctor said you weren’t in any danger. They said you’ll be out of here in a couple days. It’s just- I don’t know what I would tell them. That my husband isn’t who they think he is? That we let a dangerous man in the house and those men found him and they took you too? That you were shot in the whole crazy thing? That you were the only one who survived?”
Tia ripped her hand away and began to rock slowly back and forth in the chair. She shook her hands, wrung them out in front of her, while she trembled and sobbed.
“Tia!” Her sister’s head flew up. “It’s okay. If I could get out of this bed, I would come around there and hug you. I promise you, I’m fine. Mom and dad don’t need to know, okay. This can stay between us. You and me and Jack. But- I need you to tell me something. Did they find…” it was impossible for her to say body. She couldn’t believe that Creed was dead. That she’d never see his handsome smile, the spark of life in his eyes. She couldn’t believe that his hands, strong, amazing hands lay cold and lifeless.
“I don’t know. Jack is doing his best to find out, but it’s hard for him since they’re not releasing much information. He’s going to phone around and pretend like he’s next of kin to get some answers. A brother or something.”
A spark of irrational hope should through her. Tia didn’t know if Creed was dead. Jack didn’t know. It didn’t mean that he was safe, but it also didn’t mean that anything was confirmed. She couldn’t banish the seed of hope inside of her. It was what kept her alive throughout the whole thing.
Creed might be dead because of me. Because of what I did.
Kate shook her head slowly, side to side. She couldn’t think that way. She and Creed would both have been dead if she hadn’t grabbed that gun. It might have been the wrong thing to do, but they were condemned long before she’d pulled that trigger.
The shots went high and wide. She knew that. She’d pulled as she hit the ground and the shots went into the roof. She hadn’t killed anyone. She knew that for sure.
She searched her memory, trying to pick out the finer details. She wanted to believe she saw, out of the corner of her eye as she tried to crawl away, Creed throw off the men holding him. She wanted to believe that he’d used his last ounce of strength to get himself to safety before the firing started and the shots rang out.
She needed to believe it.
Obviously mistaking her worry for something else, trauma over what happened, Tia slowly ran her hand over Kate’s forehead. She closed her eyes and let her sister’s touch thaw the block of ice that was wedged, cold and hard, in the center of her chest. She was the older sister. She was the one who was supposed to be there for Tia. It had been that way their whole lives. Always her watching out for Ti.
It was the first time that it felt the other way around. That Tia was the big sister. Kate felt small, lost, like a little girl again.
A little girl with a broken heart.
Her eyes popped open. “How did- how did they know? Who found came? They took me to some warehouse. I’m sure it was abandoned. Not the kind of place anyone would hear gunshots. How did- who found me? The police?”
Tia nodded. She ran her hand down Kate’s cheek and jaw in a gentle caress. “Yes. The police. I guess there was a call placed from inside the warehouse. Someone called. They think it was one of the guys from the club. He was injured, trying to save himself, but he died before anyone got there.”
“And they found me behind a stack of crate?” Kate had to be sure. That was her last memory, crawling back there. She’d thought that she was lifted, being carried. By Creed. That was the last thing she felt. How could such a vivid feeling be false? How could it not have happened at all?
“Yes. One officer saw your foot sticking out. It was so lucky that they found you before you lost any more blood.”
Kate tried to move her leg, but winced. “Jeez. Getting shot really hurts.”
Tia’s eyes teared up again. “You’ll have to stay with us for a while longer, while you heal. If mom and dad can’t know about this then… we’ll figure something out. We’ll call your work and-”
“Ti…” Kate waited until her sister’s eyes were firmly back on her face. “I lost my job.”
“What?” Tia gasped.
“Yeah, I know. You’re the one who is usually way better at that than I am. I might have- played with fire that I shouldn’t have. He might have been my boss and uh- he might have been screwing around with a few other women there. Someone eventually blew the whistle and the whole thing came out. He confessed, unfortunately, and named us all. Unlike you, when the same thing happened with you and Jack, everyone got fired.”
“Oh my god.” Tia shook her head. “If we weren’t in this situation right now, you with a bullet having just been surgically removed from your leg after being kidnapped by a bunch of violent, horrible bikers, I would actually rub it in right now. Just like you did to me after I lost my job.”
Kate tried to shrug, but even the small movement hurt. “Yeah- well, I’m just saying. I don’t have a job to go back to.” She closed her eyes and saw Creed’s face. Battered. Eyes almost swollen shut, face leaking blood. He hadn’t given up. He’d done what he could to keep her safe. He’d kept his promise. The pain that assaulted her was swift, tearing through her and crushing her, doing more damage than that bullet in her thigh ever could have.
“You should stay with us.”
“I- I don’t know, Tia…”
“Jack and I- we’d like that. He feels terrible about what happened. He’s out right now, trying to figure out who those men were and what happened to Creed, otherwise he’d be here. I’ve never seen him- so- he feels responsible. When we got the call from the hospital- and it’s lucky that you listed me as your next of kin and emergency contact on anything you’ve ever signed and not mom or dad, he nearly lost it. I’ve never seen him like that.”
“That’s how you- found out?”
“Yes! I was at work! Jack was- well, you know.”
She nodded. Jack was out still trying to take care of getting Creed a fake ID so that he could leave. With her. He’d tried to ask her to do that and she’d pretty much told him he was crazy. She had a life. She couldn’t just pick up and go with a man she didn’t know. A man she’d been with for a day. A man who called her his, even though she was anything but.
She’d give anything to go back to that moment and tell him yes. Even if she didn’t mean him. She’d make him believe that she did. She would give anything to go back to that moment that he mouthed those words.
I love you.
She’d tell him she loved him too, even if she didn’t know believe in it. Even if she didn’t know what that meant. She’d go back and lie to him and make him believe her. Because he didn’t seem like the kind of person who had ever known love. He was a big man, a man, she was willing to bet, was an asset to any club because of his size. He looked like a thug and was expected to act like one, but he was so much more than that. Underneath all those complicated layers, he had a heart. A good one.
He was everything she never knew she wanted.
And she hadn’t even been able to give him one small reassurance before he died.
No! I can’t think that he’s dead. I refuse to believe that. Creed is a survivor. He survived before. He wouldn’t have left me. Not like this…
“Hey… are you okay? Are you tired? I can shut up now. Or- are you in pain? I can call a nurse and they’ll come give you morphine or something.”
Kate slowly shook her head. She was tired. Exhausted to her very bones, but it had nothing to do with the gunshot wound her leg. How could her entire life have changed so drastically and she was the only one who knew about it? She and Creed. Maybe Jack suspected. Maybe he didn’t.
“How come you didn’t tell me?” she said instead, because she couldn’t bear to talk about what happened or think about Creed any longer. It was far too painful. Her heart ached in a way she’d never felt before and she needed to stop the slow bleed out before it was fatal.
Tia’s hand fell to hers again. “Tell you what?”
“That- uh- are you and Jack- expecting?”
Her sister’s blush confirmed that Creed had been right. How he knew, Kate had no idea. He was just like that, strange, perceptive in a way that other people weren’t. He’d spent a hard life on the streets and it was like his senses were honed sharper than hers.
He gave me everything he had because he knew that every single day might be his last.
“I- how did you…”
Kate forced a smile, one that she almost felt, just for her sister’s sake. Because having a baby was happy news. It was the best news. She wanted to be happy for Tia and Jack. She really, truly did. In the face of her heartache, new life was a miracle. It was something else she could cling to.
“I don’t know. I guess you’re just- glowing.”
Tia snorted. “In all my life, I’ve never heard you give me a real compliment, Kate Reid. I don’t believe for a second that I’m glowing.”
“Well, I heard you tell Jack that you threw up on the bed and I put two and two together since you went to work both days.”
“Maybe I had the flu.”
“A flu that lasts for nine months?”
Tia offered a small, shaky smile. “I’m six weeks along. I was doing great and then most books and crap online says that’s when it starts. Six weeks. It’s been… really awful. I’ve thrown up at work four times. I keep wondering how long it will be before everyone knows.”
“Is it just a single bathroom?”
“Yeah. One of those that I can go into by myself. I run the tap so hopefully no one hears.”
“If they did, they’d probably just figure you have an eating disorder, since you’re so thin.”
“Kate!”
Kate laughed softly, a real laugh, even though it hurt. She clutched her sister’s hand. There was at least an hour of her life when she thought it was going to be her last. That she wouldn’t have this. That she’d never get to ask Tia about the baby. That she’d never get to hold her niece or nephew if it was true. She’d been desperate enough, at one point, to consider putting a bullet in her own body, just to make sure she didn’t suffer. To spare Creed seeing her taken by man after man, tortured, and killed in front of him.
She was there, in a hospital bed, alive, her sister’s hand folded up in hers. That was something to be thankful for. No matter how much everything else hurt, she’d cling to the family she had left. Some people didn’t get as lucky as she did. There were people out there who would do anything for one more minute.
Over the years, Kate had to admit, she’d wasted a lot of those moments. Squandered them, thinking there’d always be more. Thinking that she’d always have more time to get things right, to put things back together, to figure things out.
Then there was Creed. He came into her life, took her by storm, turned everything inside out, upended everything she thought she knew.
“I’ve made a decision,” Kate said suddenly and Tia’s eyes flew back to her face.
“What?”
“I’m going to stay here. With you guys, since you were kind enough to offer. I’ll drive you crazy for a few months and then I’ll get a job and a place and move out. And I’m going back to school.”
“What? But you already have a degree.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to get my Masers and then I’m going to teach. Or something.”
“You? A teacher?” Tia snorted. “Oh god. You don’t have the patience for that.”
“I was talking about college level here, not kindergarten.”
“Well… you can certainly do anything you want.” Tia nodded hard. “Anything. You’re smart and you’re gorgeous and you have one hell of a survival instinct. I think that’s amazing. You’re- I can’t believe all of this happened. I’m so happy that you’re here, Kate. That you’re alright. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you. Even if you’re a pain in the ass, you’re still my big sister and I’m always going to look up to you. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.” Kate leaned forward and pulled her sister into a hug. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually stopped to take time to do this. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. Never. If she loved someone, she was going to let them know it. Friends. Family. She had so many people in her life and she’d never told one of them she was happy that they were there. “I’m going to travel too,” she whispered into her sister’s ear. “I’ve always wanted to do that. I’m going to. Now. Before I go back to school.”
Tia pulled away and swiped at her eyes, which were beginning to water again. “Oh god. Really? I thought you didn’t like traveling? You always said it was a waste of money.”
Kate shrugged. “Maybe I was wrong. About a lot of things.”
Tia leaned back in the chair and set a hand on her flat stomach. She really was glowing. It wasn’t a lie, what Kate had said earlier.
She stared at her sister and thought to herself that she’d never seen a more beautiful woman. She was happy for Tia, that she had Jack, who loved her and would care for her. She was happy that they were going to be a real family. She knew she’d never have those things for herself. A husband, children. If she couldn’t have them with Creed, then she wasn’t going to have them with anyone. Not because there was some petulant version of herself in there crossing their arms and throwing a tantrum, but because she’d never met anyone like him and she knew she wouldn’t again.
The funny thing was, she didn’t believe in romance. She wasn’t even sure she’d changed her mind.
But there was something people said. The whole fairy tale notion about there being one man for one woman and that was it. That once you met them, you were done. Head over heels, helpless and hopeless. That part was true.
For her, Creed was it. He’d always be it.