TARA

We've been driving in my rented truck for about two hours, and judging by the signs we still have about three hours to go before we get to Vegas. The only stop we made before leaving town was at a large house in a nicer part of town not far from the club. I watched the sun peek out from behind the distant hills while Tommy was inside the house, feeling nothing but contentment and bliss, peace. It waned just a little when he returned with a large black duffel beg, the muscles in his arm flexed and taut from the weight. He tossed it in the back seat and then we were off.

I think this is it. This is the day he leaves his life behind. But he hasn't said anything about it, hasn't asked me if I'm coming too, so I didn't mention it either. He took me with him, so in a way I already have my answer. I'd like to be asked, but it's not necessary.

We spent the first hour singing along to songs on the radio, and kissing as much as we can without crashing. Now I'm just leaning against him, handing him the cup of coffee I'm cradling in my lap from time to time, and watching the world whizz by. The sun's beating down on the car, but inside it's nice and cool, yet pleasantly warm too.

The fact that I'm so willing to leave without having found Sam is nagging at me though. And I don't know how to bring it up without causing another argument. He's done what he could to find her, I understand that, know it without him having to tell me. She's not anywhere where he can find her.

But I still feel like a traitor. Like I've let Sam down again, this time because of my selfish desire to just enjoy my time with Tommy. She'd want me to be happy, I know she would. But can I ever be truly happy at her expense.

"I can drive for awhile, if you want," I say, spotting a sign for a gas station coming up in a few miles. He seems so tired.

He looks at me, and then kisses my forehead. "Yeah, it might be for the best."

We pull into the gas station, and I climb over him to get behind the wheel. He stops me mid-effort, holds me tight in his lap and gives me an urgent, hungry kiss that makes my head spin. The passion in it belies his tiredness that was so evident just a few minutes ago, makes me want to get naked, feel his bare skin against mine, have his hands, his lips, his cock bring me to another earth-shattering orgasm.

His hands are already snaking up under my t-shirt, his rock hard cock pressing against my pussy, so we're on the same page, and I really wish I'd worn something else, something easier to get out of, one of my new dresses, instead of jeans and a tee.

"Why does there have to be so many people here?" I mutter in between returning his kisses, spotting a family of four goggling at us as they eat their sandwiches by their RV.

He chuckles and gives me another deep kiss, before removing me from his lap and sliding to the passenger side. "Let's just get to Vegas. There won't be any people in our hotel room."

It's hard to focus on the road, since my body is screaming for more of his touches and his kisses. It's still so new to me, this desire, this wish to be with a man, touched by a man, loved and made love to, yet somehow it feels like it was always there too. Like it was just obscured by all the darkness, and not missing at all.

"So, where will you go when you leave?" I ask.

He looks up from fiddling with his phone sharply, but I keep my eyes fixed on the road. I can't believe I just asked him that so pointedly.

"I'll have to disappear. For awhile at least," he says. "I was thinking South America first, and then Europe. I've always wanted to go there."

"Europe is nice," I mutter. It would be a whole lot nicer if my dad and his friends weren't there with me the times I visited Paris, London and Venice. But I won't think of that now. Those memories already feel like they’re from another life, yet they're still horrible. I'd love to go to Europe with Tommy, make some better memories. But he's not asking me along.

"I was thinking it'd be great to get one of those mobile homes and just travel around for years, see it all. Go all the way across Europe, and then maybe to Asia." It sounds so perfect, so peaceful. I'd love it.

"You mean like an RV?" I don't know why my tone is so mocking. Maybe it's because he's just scrolling through his phone like he's already checked out of this conversation.

"Yeah, sorta, but I was thinking more along the lines of something cool like this." He shows me a picture on his phone. "It's a bus that these two lovebirds converted into a home and now they're just driving around the world in it."

He flips through more photos, showing me the interior of the bus. And it looks so cozy, so modern, there's even a big kitchen, and the bedroom is this small nook, with only a large bed in it, sheltered from the rest of the world.

"You can get homes like this off Craigslist for pretty cheap," he says. "I checked. And then just put it on a ship and off you go."

"Looks great," I say, my voice choked up, my eyes burning like I'm about to start crying.

He's looking at me very intently, I can feel his eyes literally burning holes in my cheek.

"Well?" he finally asks.

"What? I already said it sounds like a great plan."

He puts the phone away, staring out through the passenger window. The silence drags, feels like it's sucking all the air from the car. Why did I even ask? I could've just enjoyed this trip while it lasted. Why did I have to go ruin it before it even got started?

He turns to me, his gaze so searching I have to meet his eyes, I'm powerless to stop myself. I still see all those worlds I never knew existed in his eyes, those glorious, distant lands full of adventure, desire and pleasure, happiness and peace. But it hurts to look at them now, because I already miss them.

"I know you have your whole life here, and that you need to find your sister," he says, his words coming very slowly, like he's measuring them out, trying to postpone saying them. "But would you come with me?"

"Yes!" I exclaim, and almost veer into the other lane.

He seems shocked by my answer, but he's smiling already. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I thought you'd never ask."

He kisses me, holding onto the wheel and keeping it steady, because he understands I’m not able to right now. The tension is gone, the air moving as though a thousand butterflies are fluttering their wings around us.

"I was scared to," he says sheepishly. "I thought you'd say no."

I shake my head vigorously. "I'd go anywhere with you…just as soon as we find Sam."

I add it as an afterthought, but I know it's a deal breaker, because that could take years.

What I need him to do is tell me confidently it will happen any day now. But he can't promise me that, and that fact is plain in his stony face right now.

"Yeah, as soon as we find your sister," he says, but quietly, lost in thought. Probably already regretting he even asked me.

He doesn't say anything else, just leans back and closes his eyes. So I don't say anything either, just drive, trying to think of nothing. But I'm already imagining all those old world buildings and castles in Europe whizzing past us. I hold on to that happy thought until it's all I know, and everything else is just fading memories of another life, one I never want to return to.

* * *

We arrive to Vegas just after two PM, and despite the midday heat the strip is awash with people, all wide-eyed and smiling, rushing to and fro, excitedly admiring the glitter around them. I've never been here, only seen pictures, and I can't wait for it to get dark, so I can see all the lights.

I nudge Tommy awake, since he slept the rest of the way here, as we approach the huge fountain in front of one of the hotels. "Check that out."

"Nice, right?" he says grinning at me. "But it looks even better at night."

He rubs his eyes then yawns loudly. We're just inching along the strip, since there's so much traffic.

"I bet you've seen it a thousand times," I mutter, my eyes still fixed on the dance of water.

"I don't know about a thousand, but I've been here a few times, yeah," he says, moving closer to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. All the tension between us is gone. We're just two lovers here to have a good time. And I mean for us to have a very good time.

"Let's just see if they have a room here," he says, pointing at the hotel the fountain is attached to.

"Why not indeed?" I say. "Seems as good a place as any."

I wink at him, and then his lips are on mine, the desire rising inside me mixing with the excitement all around us into a blinding, breathtaking combination.

Loud honking pulls us apart. I've forgotten to watch the line of cars in front of us, and left a huge gap. The driver of the car behind us is yelling something I can't hear, but which can't be very nice. I accelerate, pull up to the hotel.

The receptionist smiles widely, offers us a newlyweds suite, and I know I'm blushing as Tommy says yes. I've been to a ton of fancy hotels in my life, but I never enjoyed it this much, never enjoyed it at all. Whatever happens after today, I want tonight to be perfect.

Our suite is all done up in light pastel shades of white and pale pink, blue and green. It's romantic, but not tacky, and I feel like I just walked into a dream. My dream. One I forgot I ever even had.

The view is of the fountain, and I just stand there gazing at the delicate interplay of water for awhile, thinking about how it would feel to stand under those jets, feel the water land against my skin. Tommy comes over, wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close.

"We'll find your sister, you'll see," he says, and I want to believe him. But I'm also annoyed he brought it up again, which is immediately followed by a surge of guilt, and all those conflicting emotions are now wrapped up in a soft haze of desire that his hard body pressed against mine is stoking higher and higher.

"How can you be so sure?" I ask.

"I always get lucky in Vegas."

The sharp remark I was gonna make is just wiped clean from my mind as I look up at him. Those worlds I want to visit are there, bathed in moonlight, beckoning to me from his eyes. So I don't say anything, just believe, because I now know miracles are possible.

"How about we try out the bed?" he asks, grinning at me.

I grin too and nod, take his hand, lead him to the bed and lie down. The mattress is soft like clouds, standing in perfect contrast to the hardness and the weight of his body pressing me into it. His kisses are sending waves of pleasure through my entire being, and feel like the calmest evening breeze, taste like the clearest waters.

We just kiss, for a long time, lost in this oneness we share, this perfect dream that weaves itself around us whenever we're alone. He takes off my shirt, and I help him out of his. And then we kiss some more. Our jeans follow, and then we kiss some more, our bodies pressed so close there is no space left between us.

There is no urgency to do anything more than just kiss, not on my part and not on his. His hands and his lips are exploring my skin, and mine are mapping his. We have time, so much time. Around us the whole world is still, waiting for us. And I love just enjoying the soft, pleasant heat radiating all through my body from the smoldering, glowing embers of our desire.

"How about we get some dinner now?" he asks once the sky outside turns a dusty pink. "Because if we don’t stop soon, we won't be leaving the hotel room tonight."

"You're right," I say, resting my head against his chest. "And maybe we can hit a casino too."

I shoot up right after I suggest it, staring at the large shopping bag that contains all I packed.

"What?" he asks grinning at me.

"I don't have anything to wear." I packed some of the new dresses, but none are fancy enough for what I want to do tonight. "And I bet you didn't either."

His hand slithers down my side, comes to rest on my ass. "I pictured this more as a clothes optional sorta getaway."

"I bet you did," I say, giving him a peck on the lips then climbing off the bed. "But we're going shopping."

He groans, but doesn't put up much of a fight.

"There's a couple of floors dedicated to shopping right here in the hotel," he says, checking the information guidebook while I'm combing out my tangled hair.

"Everything's bound to be super overpriced here," I say, not even sure why I care. But despite always having more money than I could spend at my disposal, I was always a cheapskate. Sam's words, not mine.

"Let's not overthink this, and just do that." Tommy says and sets down the guidebook, then unzips his duffel bag, his back turned. He pulls out a wad of money, all hundreds, and I can clearly see there's a lot more of it in there. In fact that's all that's in there.

But I won't ruin the mood again by asking him to explain. He's absolutely right, I mustn't overthink this.

* * *

The first store we pass has a gorgeous, flowing turquoise dress in the window. It looks like something movie stars in the fifties wore only a lot more daring, with its low v-shaped neckline, and an impossibly high split along the left side.

"You should try that on," Tommy says, chuckling as I look at him in shock.

"My boobs would fall right out," I protest, but I do like his suggestion.

"Yeah, that too, but it would also go great with your eyes." He's got the biggest grin on his face as he says it.

"No one would notice my eyes if I wore that," I say, my eyes sliding back to the dress, some of my old fears of getting lewd looks starting to creep in at the edges of my mind.

"I would notice," Tommy says softly, chasing the fear away, leaving behind only a soft waterfall of love.

"Alright, let's do it," I say, charging into the store like I'm about to attack. Which in a way I am. Attacking my fears, meeting them head on, not letting them control me anymore.

I look good in the dress, even if I do think so myself, and it is very sexy. But the second Tommy's eyes take me in as I walk out of the changing room, I know I'm buying it. And a hundred more like it, just so he'll always look at me like that.

I find a pair of silver stiletto sandals to go with it, then start scanning the store for a suit for Tommy.

"Suits are for funerals," he grumbles, following me around, but showing no enthusiasm for actually trying on any of the ones I show him

"And for weddings," I counter, and I actually feel the air shift as he looks at me sharply. He knows I meant our wedding, and it probably scared him. I don't know much about men, but I heard they're very scared of commitment. So I won't mention marriage again. I was only joking anyway…for now.

"Try this one," I say, shoving a light grey silk suit into his arms, my voice shaky.

He does as he's told without even grumbling about it this time.

"You look very handsome," I say, walking up to him as he emerges from the dressing room, and smoothing down his lapels. "You should wear a suit more often,

He wraps his arm around my lower back, pulls me close, his hard cock jabbing me in the belly. "Anything for you, Tara."

He chuckles as he says it, but I know he means it. There's no doubt in my mind that he means it.