Chapter 28: Patrick
Scotty was talking to me, but I wasn’t listening. Something about how he and Jacques didn’t work out. With the amount of anguish in his voice I really should have been paying attention. But everything was fucked, and I couldn’t handle anything else. I’d just have to be a bad brother.
Natalie kicked Major out of her life. At lunch time, she stopped bringing an extra brownie and would throw out the vegetables I left for her. Every day I left a note begging for forgiveness, but she would crumple it up and throw it in the trash. I tried calling her office phone, but she would let it go to voicemail.
I went to Vertigo Friday night and she wasn’t there. Deep down, I knew she wouldn’t be, but I still held out hope. It was selfish of me to expect her to show up, because she was right. If she wanted to get married and have kids, she needed to focus on that. I couldn’t monopolize her, never letting her know who I was.
But why did it have to hurt so damn bad? I tightened my grip on the steering wheel at the thought of her being with someone else. Maybe she would pick another guy like her ex. It was the smart thing to do; he was rich, good looking, could support a family. I clenched the steering wheel so hard my knuckles began to turn white.
The only good thing that had happened was that she wasn’t mad at me anymore. And by me, I meant Patrick. We definitely weren’t in the same place we were before, but she was cordial to me. She greeted me in the office, and our weekly meeting had gone relatively well.
“Well, what do you think?” Scotty seemed desperate for advice.
Shit. I hadn’t been paying attention, at all. “Um, sorry I was really focused on driving. One more time?” I pulled into the parking spot at Rock Sphere.
“Just forget about it,” he muttered. “I’ll talk to Natalie.”
“Natalie’s coming?”
After months of training, the speed climbing competition was finally here. It fell on a Saturday, and the three of us usually climb Sunday. I had assumed she wouldn’t be here.
“She said she would come. It sounded like something was bothering her.”
I cringed as I walked alongside of Scotty. It was my fault that Natalie felt horrible. “Well, the more the merrier.”
I immediately saw her as the doors opened. She was sitting in a lobby chair, grinding her foot into the ground. Her eyes were empty, and she stared at the floor like she wished it would open up and eat her whole. She had been acting normal at work—a little icier than normal, but still composed. I was staring at a completely different person right now.
I almost lost it seeing her like that. My first instinct was to throw my arms around her and beg for forgiveness. I almost did, but Scotty opened his mouth first. “Jesus, you look worse than I do.” They started chatting, but I didn’t listen to what they said. All I could do was stare at Nat.
“Shouldn’t you get ready for the competition?” She looked me in the eyes, head cocked.
Right. I needed to warm up and get my muscles limber. More importantly, I needed to clear my head. I couldn’t be thinking about all the bullshit I had going on, or I would definitely lose. I nodded at Natalie and walked towards the walls.
There were quite a few people I didn’t recognize, but I also only came on Sunday. Strangers talked to each other while stretching. There was a division for both men and women, but the men’s division had far more competitors.
Noah walked up to me wearing his usual shit-eating grin. I could normally restrain myself from punching it, but today my patience was running thin.
“Hey, man,” he said. “Are you ready for me to smoke you?”
I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t have a witty comeback. “Nah, man.”
“So, you’ll be okay with silver? Assuming you place. Bit of a shame since your girlfriend is watching.” He tilted his head towards Natalie.
His statement was just enough to piss me off. She was already a sensitive subject. “Natalie is my coworker. And I’m going to kick your ass.”
“Ah, really? Do you mind if I ask her out?” Noah was messing with me, of course. If he fucked up my concentration I wouldn’t perform at my best.
“Just…shut the fuck up, Noah.”
I stormed away from him before I got angrier. Right now, I should be hyped. I might actually stand a chance with how hard I’d been training the past few months. But this past week had brought everything down. I grumbled to myself as I pulled my arm across my chest in a poor attempt to stretch.
There was a gentle tap on my back. I peeked over my shoulder, and Natalie stood behind me.
“Hi.” She gave me a small smile.
“Hey.” I couldn’t find any words for her. The only thing I wanted to do was apologize, but that would cause a whole new set of problems.
“I just wanted to say good luck.”
“Thank you.”
She hugged me and buried her face into my shoulder. The display of affection was surprising after what had happened after the art gala. She had only just become cordial towards me. “So…good luck.”
But I knew the hug wasn’t just for luck. Natalie was upset about Major, and she needed someone to hold her and tell her everything would be alright. I put one arm around her waist and used the other to stroke her hair. The two of us probably looked very couple-ish right now, but I didn’t care. “Thanks.”
She sighed into my shoulder and let herself relax in my arms. Even if everything with Major was fucked, at least I could make her feel better.
“Ten minutes until the men’s speed climbing starts.” A voice crackled through an overhead speaker.
Natalie jumped back, her face red. “S-sorry. I’ll let you finish warming up.” She ran off before I could say anything.
I cursed the announcer as I buckled myself in for a test run. I hadn’t been able to hold Natalie in a week and he’d ruined it. God only knows the next time I’ll be able to hug her.
“How can you say there’s nothing going on between you? I saw that.” Scotty’s voice made me jump.
“Because there’s not. If you’ll excuse me, I need to do a practice run.” I lunged off the floor before I could hear his protests.
I headed to the course after a couple practice runs. My heart was fluttering from nervousness, which didn’t happen often. But there was a lot riding on this competition. If I didn’t kick Noah’s ass he’d never let me forget it.
The competition was set into brackets—assuming Noah and I won our matches, he would be the third person I competed against. It would be even worse if I didn’t make it to the third bracket. Noah would be laughing at me that I couldn’t make it that far. But I refused to lose—I was going to beat him.
There were two identical walls a few feet from each other, allowing spectators to view both competitors at once. I shook my first opponent’s hand before clipping myself in. Fortunately, I ended up smoking the guy. The second bracket was slightly more challenging, but I pulled through.
“You made it, man!” Noah put out his hand for a high five. I grimaced at his friend-enemy gesture, but still reciprocated because I didn’t want to look unsportsmanlike.
“Can’t believe you doubted me.” I shot him a smile that had the words “fuck you” written all over it.
“Well, let’s get going!”
We took our places at the bottom of each wall. Nerves had the back of my neck pooling with sweat as I waited for the buzzer. My heart beat louder with each second that passed.
Noah and I leaped off the floor the second the buzzer went off. When the two of us had competed against each other before, I’d made the mistake of watching him out of the corner of my eye. Now, I didn’t care what he was doing. It was only me and the wall.
I lunged from one grip to the next, pushing my body further than it had gone before. My only objective was making it to the top of this wall.
My foot pushed off one last grip and my hand made contact with the board the stopped the time. It read 10.72 seconds – my fastest time yet. I let out a sigh of relief and looked at Noah’s board. 10.75 seconds.
“Nice try, man.” I couldn’t help but shoot him one of his shit-eating grins, and the look of displeasure on his face was evident.
I lost the gold medal in the final bracket. It didn’t matter to me; the entire point of this competition was kicking Noah’s ass. Immature? Yes. Satisfying? Hell yes.
“So close!” Scotty said. “Alright job though.”
Natalie’s look disagreed with Scott. “You did wonderful.”
“At least someone appreciates me.” I threw my arms around her and stuck my tongue out at Scotty. I felt heat from Natalie radiating off of her, and I fucking loved it.
* * *
The high of the competition soon faded, and Natalie was once more the only thing on my mind. The pain of thinking of her turned to numbness. I wondered how long it would take before I adjusted to this new normal.
But Friday was here, and I was suddenly hit with a wave of sadness. It would be the second week the two of us weren’t at Vertigo. Going to the club had become part of my routine. And not a shitty routine, like having to go to work. A good one, like going rock climbing.
On the bright side, I’d be out of the office all day. It was the launch of our new marketing campaign, and I was going to oversee it. This weekend was D5, a huge video game convention. Every game company attended to tease new games or services they had. I was a bit nervous because our ad was unconventional, but we would see how it goes.
Our panel was scheduled for five o’clock, so it would start any minute now. It wouldn’t be any longer than a few hours, so it would be finished by eight. Which gave me just enough time to drive to Vertigo in case Nat showed up. The chance was miniscule, but I would never forgive myself if she showed up and I wasn’t there.
The lights dimmed, and our representative made light introductions on stage. To be honest, I’d never actually played video games. I understood the jargon because of work, but I didn’t really get the culture.
The trailer for our game began to play. The premise was hundred-player survival, and there were no teams involved. Each player tried to eliminate all others, and the last player standing won. I held my breath as the trailer neared the end. People began to clap and cheer when it ended, and I allowed myself to exhale.
I played on my phone for the rest of the panel. Nothing really interested me now that the marketing segment was over. I was anxious to get back to my car when my phone started to ring. Glancing down, I saw the caller ID displayed BERT FREID, and I groaned in frustration. I wanted to get to Vertigo immediately, but I wasn’t about to ignore the CMO of the company.
“Hey, Bert.”
“Patrick!” He began to shower me with words of praise. He must have been watching the live stream.
“Thanks. Everyone worked very hard.”
“Can you stick around? I want you to listen to what people are saying. I don’t mean the media, I mean people who are there.”
I guess I wouldn’t be going to Vertigo. It wasn’t like Natalie would be there, anyways. I just needed to accept that things between us were over. “Yeah. I can do that.”