I knew it wasn’t fair to James, especially considering his upbringing, to force him to be around me all the time. But at least being in the same general vicinity was the only way to fully guarantee his safety, and he was paying me to do just that. So I went into the bedroom to hang out with Stefan and Tommy, who were my two favorite people in the world, anyway.

After Stefan was finished changing the little boy, I pulled him into my arms, bouncing him until he giggled. A huge grin spread over my face. Just seeing the little boy so happy made me happy, and suddenly I realized something.

“You know, I didn’t want kids with Julia, but...if James wanted it, I would do it.”

Stefan gave me a curious look.

“You really like him. Do you think...you two could be fated?”

I shrugged, trying to avoid that thought. A kid, in theory, was one thing, although I’d never admit to James that I had any interest. But the reality of being fated, of having a mate, of potentially having children and having to protect and care for him and our baby… it was terrifying.

“I don’t know. He has this crazy thing going on with Cal Henderson, and I’m not sure I’m even what he really wants. He hasn’t even let me fuck him, you know.”

Not that I had pushed for it. James was so easy to scare off that I’d just been letting him do what he was comfortable with, and it was always good, I was always grateful for it.

“Wow,” Stefan said thoughtfully. “You should watch out, you know. Once he goes into heat, you two are going to have problems. I couldn’t resist Tyler, and he wanted it maybe even more than I did.”

He was right. I knew he had the experience to tell me that, but I couldn’t accept it. What was I supposed to do, abandon James the moment he went into heat? Let some other alpha, let Cal, claim him? Never. I couldn’t.

“I know. But I have to protect him, Stefan. He’s never had to take care of himself, and you know how dangerous it is for omegas out there, even independent ones like Tyler.”

Stefan nodded quietly. “Of course. I know,” he said gently. “Just...you might need a plan.”

I shook my head, pressing kisses all over Tommy’s chubby baby cheeks and then blowing a raspberry on his tummy. He squealed with laughter.

I wanted it. One day. A family, a baby to care for. But with the world what it was, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to bring another one into it. What if our child was an omega? How terrible would life be for them?

I had been practically married to the military, and in a matter of seconds, all of that had been ripped away from me. It was hard for me to think of anything as permanent anymore. It was the whole reason Julia and I had broken up, and even though James made me want to settle down more than she ever did, that didn’t make the situation itself any less impossible. It was impossible.

“Ben… you deserve something good,” Stefan told me.

It fell on deaf ears. I just couldn’t process that yet. I shook my head silently.

“Have you talked to John or group about it?”

I shook my head again, and bashfully admitted, “I lost my temper in group and stormed out. I haven’t been back since.”

“Ben…”

“I know,” I sighed. “I’ve been drinking less, though. Around James. So that has to be good, right?”

“Sure, it’s good,” Stefan agreed. “Until you snap, because you’re not using any of your coping mechanisms at all.”

“Yeah, yeah, all right.” I rolled my eyes. “Look, I didn’t come in here to cry my feelings out, okay? Just let me play with your kid.”

Stefan chuckled and smacked me on the shoulder, friendly, but it was a hard thump.

“Yeah, all right. Not my job to knock sense into you. I’m going to go order a pizza.”

He stood, heading for the door, when suddenly it opened. Tommy squealed in happiness to see his other father and reached for him. Tyler came over, scooping Tommy into his arms, and glared at us both, but especially me.

“Ben, you can’t make James ask you every time he wants to go out. You’re only going to make his issues worse.”

“I...shit, that wasn't what I meant. Of course we can go out. I just have to go with him.”

“Well, whatever,” Tyler said. “I’m not your messenger. Go talk to him yourself. But I’m taking him out for a haircut and new clothes after lunch, and you’re just going to have to come along.”

I nodded, but my mind was racing. What had I said that gave James the impression he was a prisoner again? Of course, it wouldn’t be that difficult to make him think something like that. God, I had to be so careful. Just another reason a real relationship would be impossible.

“Okay?” Tyler demanded, and I nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Whatever you guys want.”

Tyler nodded, satisfied, and turned to Stefan.

“Have you ordered the pizza yet?”

“On it,” he promised, pulling out his phone.

Tommy chewed on Tyler’s earlobe, which was usually a sign he was going to shift into a wolf pup. Tyler put him down on the floor and sure enough, the baby shifted into a wolf and began to run all over the apartment at top speed, a lot more mobile that way than he normally was.

I heard James’ squeal and then delighted laughter, and the sound alone made me smile.

“He doesn’t usually laugh like that,” I said softly to Tyler, staying where I was on the bed.

Tyler kicked me in the shin, lightly, but it was enough to punctuate his point.

“Get out there. Go talk to him.”

I took a deep breath, but he was right. I stood and left the bedroom. As I did, I could have sworn I saw Stefan and Tyler exchange a conspiratorial look behind my back.

I was surprised to see James in his wolf form, reddish brown and down on all fours, rolling playfully with the puppy. Tommy nipped at James’ ankles and James snapped at his tail back, growling softly as they chased each other around the couch. It was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen, and I knew with more certainty than ever that when it came to James, I would love to give him a baby. Of course, that didn’t mean he wanted one at all. Just because he enjoyed playing with my nephew didn’t mean he wanted to carry my child, or that he should. He was still so young.

There was a faint scent in the air, something that made me feel tense and hungry, but I was keeping my distance from James too much to realize what it was. I watched the wolf and the pup play, nearly knocking over the TV that Tyler had just set up for us, and I was tempted to scold James, to tell him to change back and get dressed so we could talk. I had come out to talk to him about our arrangement and I felt very focused on that. Selfishly, I wanted him to be finished playing so that I could stop feeling so much adoration for him and stop feeling that longing for a family of my own, a family I could never have.

I caught myself, though. We had time. Pizza was on its way, and would take a while, and then we’d have to eat before we could go out. So instead of ruining their fun, I decided to join it.

I stripped too, and shifted into a wolf, running into the middle of their game.

Tommy yelped and barked playfully at me, trying to bite my tail, and James took his side, the two smaller wolves ganging up on me. I was twice the size of James, probably ten times the size of Tommy, but together they fought me down, teeth pulling on my ears, paws wrestling me to the ground.

My heart felt light, and full. I couldn’t get enough. I barely fought back, because I didn’t want to hurt them, I just wanted to be a part of the joy. It was pure. For a few minutes, I was only wolf, and so were they, and I could imagine myself, the alpha of my own little pack, keeping James forever, our own little pup between us.

I nuzzled against him, licking his snout, and then I smelled it. Heat. James was starting to go into heat. I growled softly, playfully biting at the back of his neck, and he didn’t even fight it, he just rolled closer.

Tommy ran in circles around us, biting at our paws and tail and ears, anything that stuck out enough.

“What are you guys doing?” Stefan asked, laughing, as he walked over to the pile of wolves on the middle of the living room floor.

James rolled away from me, but Tommy and I gave Stefan silly, wolfish grins, and glanced at each other. The communication was silent, but in sync, we went after the other alpha, chasing him down.

Tommy went for his father’s weak leg and I side-checked him, pushing him to the floor. We both piled on top of him, licking at his face, stepping all over his ribs and internal organs shamelessly, as dogs did.

“Ah, I give, I give!” he cried, but the moment we relented, he shifted into a huge alpha wolf, even bigger than myself, and threw us off of him.

It was on, then. James joined in, and together we all wrestled Stefan, but even with his weak leg, he held his ground, throwing us off one by one.

It was the most fun I’d had in a very long time. It reminded me of being back in the army, all of us alphas tussling not for the usual fight to the death, but just for fun and practice, to let off some steam like we were puppies again. And here, with my second family, I got the same feeling. I was surrounded by love, surrounded by people who were half wolf, just like myself.

I could hear Tyler laughing. He was watching, but refused to get involved.

I raised my head, and gave him a playful look, glancing over at Stefan and his son, whose fur he was licking aggressively clean. He got my meaning, it seemed, because we both went after Tyler, determined to bring him into our game.

“No! You can’t get me, you can’t!” he laughed. We chased him through the apartment until he was pinned against the front door, his husband up on his hind legs, licking at his omega’s face. He shifted back into his human form, and the men entered into a passionate kiss. I finally shifted back too, and cleared my throat with a soft chuckle.

“We should probably get dressed before the pizza man comes.”

The buzzer rang right on cue.