Jackie
You never think about the day the person you love leaves you, mostly because there’s such a large part of you that knows it will never happen. Maybe I was naive, but I believed Axel when he said he was going to stick around. I remember, when I first saw his digital note on the fridge, my knees went weak.
I grabbed my phone and called him repeatedly, but he didn’t pick up. My first reaction was pure anger. He was being selfish; he left us behind so he wouldn’t have to join the military. Either way, he would have been taken from us, but if he was going to run, he could have at least taken us.
Then there were nights where I finished a bottle of wine after Jacob went to sleep and I thought about how he had no choice. He promised to come back, after all. I didn’t know if I still loved him or hated him, honestly it depended on the time of day. One thing was certain though, I couldn’t raise Jacob alone. Axel had transferred everything he had into my bank account before he left, but it wasn’t enough to last more than a few weeks.
I could ask my parents for help, but they didn’t know about Jacob. Their reaction would have been horrific if Axel was here, but with him gone it would be even worse. They would force me to move back in with them. They would take my baby from me, probably send him to some boarding school or offer him up for adoption.
They loved to dig their claws in and control my life like I was a puppet with strings leading right back to them. Help always came with a catch, which is why I never asked, unless I had to. No, I couldn’t tell them, and Axel’s parents were separated. He didn’t even speak to his mother anymore.
I was alone in this. Time went on and I lost hope. The money Axel left dwindled until there was nothing but pennies left. I applied for assistance from the government, but they denied me. Even with an infant son, they were too obsessed with their war to help a mother with her newborn son. I was out of options. I remember sitting on the bed, my eyes red and swollen from sobbing. I had never felt so alone in my entire life.
My phone starting ringing on the bed next to me. I looked over and saw the name of my best friend, Lisa, lit up on the screen. We hadn’t spoken since Axel left, but something told me to pick up the call. Honestly, if someone would just listen, that would be enough for now. I picked it up and swiped across the screen to answer.
“Hey Lisa,” I said.
“Jackie, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she asked.
She always knew, she could tell when I was sick, when I was sad, and everything in between.
“It’s Axel,” I said.
“What did he do? Did he hit you?”
She didn’t think very highly of him.
“No Lisa, nothing like that. He ran out when they announced the draft.”
Lisa sighed into the speaker.
“How are you holding up?
“Well, we had a baby before he left, so not well.”
I heard Lisa’s voice turn sour through the speaker. We agreed not to tell anyone about the baby, friends included. I knew this moment would come sooner or later.
“You have a baby? Why didn’t you tell me? We tell each other everything, Jackie!”
I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes again. Lisa sounded hurt, I knew I would be.
“We didn’t want anyone to know. You know how my parents are.”
“You thought I would tell them?” Lisa asked.
“No, not that, I just, I promised Axel I wouldn’t tell a soul.”
Lisa scoffed. “A lot of good that did.”
“Listen, Lisa, you know I love you like a sister, but I’m not good right now. We’re out of money and I don’t know what to do. Can I call you back later and we’ll talk about this?”
I could practically see Lisa shaking her head.
“No, that’s not how this works. You need someone there to help you.”
“Lisa, I couldn’t ask that from you.”
“I’m not talking about me, Jackie, I’m talking about Tyler.”
Tyler was Jackie’s older brother. He was kind of a dork in school, but he grew up fast and got in shape. Last time I heard about him, he was a professional athlete, playing as the quarterback of a big football team. Asking Lisa for help was bad enough, but asking help from my best friend’s older brother? I couldn’t.
“Lisa, Tyler is busy; he’s a famous athlete isn’t he?”
“Yeah, but he busted his shoulder last season, they won’t let him play for at least a year. He’s too busted up to get drafted like the other guys, so he’s been moping around my house for the last three weeks. He’s driving me crazy, to be honest. He can’t lift anything heavy, but otherwise he’s fully capable and he’s got enough money for three lifetimes so he can help you out. He owes me, and besides, he’s always had a crush on you,” Lisa said.
“No, Lisa, I can’t. Axel said he was coming back!”
“Listen, Jackie, I don’t know if you’re bad boy biker is coming back, or if he’s in some kind of MC, but in the meantime, you have a newborn to take care of and bills to pay. You don’t have to sleep with him, but you’d be doing me a favor if you take him off my hands.”
It didn’t feel right, but I was out of options. Axel leaving had finally backed me into a corner.
“Alright, alright, he can stay here,” I said.
“Good, it’s done then. I’ll talk to him tonight and he’ll be there in a couple days. Are you going to be alright until then?”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine.”
“Good. Oh, and Jackie?”
This was the part where she lectured me about what I had done wrong. She was wise, but I swear sometimes I thought she was more of a mother to me than my real one ever was.
“Yes, Lisa?”
“I want to meet that baby. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
She always knew how to make me smile.