Avoiding a dead man was harder than I thought.

My shift at the bar was the usual hustle of drinks, carding underage twits who thought I wouldn’t notice how young they looked, and trying to avoid being knocked down by people who were too drunk to walk straight.

All in all, it was a good night. The bar was just as full as Gary had said it would be, and I made more tips on a seven-hour shift than I’d ever made working Muse. It was also a different environment with a lot of different age groups.

Every time I’d gone back over to Duke, he’d filled my orders nearly immediately and had done it with a smile. It was good working with him, and as the night wore on with fewer customers on hand, he’d made me laugh with his antics. Even Michelle made it fun by occasionally jumping in at a rowdy table and playing the situation down with me.

By the time we were closing, I felt comfortable with my co-workers and I could readily admit that I really liked working at Rounders.

Cade had been a different story.

I’d tried to keep my eyes from wandering over to him. My plan had been to avoid the asshole, not stare at him. But when the man you'd crushed on, turned up alive, after mourning him for months, it was hard not to look at him.

I pushed my emotions down and simply tried to focus on the job, but my eyes would inevitably find him again. Smiling, laughing, living.

On my break, I’d retreated to the back to sit and think about everything, which didn’t help at all. I’d iced my lip, which was still tender to the touch, but healing. There was very little swelling now, and makeup helped cover the slight yellow spot on my jaw.

Sitting and taking care of those things felt normal in a situation where normalcy didn’t seem to exist. The more I had time to think, the more I felt like calling Liv or just barging up to his bar and yelling at him.

Rather than waste time on it, I’d finished my break early and was back on the floor sooner than I should have been. He’d scowled at me quite a bit and I’d ignored him.

I needed some answers. There just wasn’t any way around it.

The question was whether I could hold my temper in check long enough to hear the story he was going to tell me. And it had better be a damn good one.

When the bar closed, Cade locked up the front door and I carried the last pitchers from my tables over to Duke’s counter.

Duke smiled. “Thanks, Red. You kicked some ass tonight.”

I smiled back at him. “I told you, I’m a pro.”

He held out his fist and I bumped it with mine.

When I turned around, I saw Cade heading toward the back.

Michelle joined me as some of the other girls headed toward an exit door.

“Hey, we’re out of here. You want to leave with us? Mark always wants us to head out together.”

“Uhm,” I said. My eyes flicked to the double doors Cade had just disappeared through. “I’ll walk out with one of the guys. I still need to count a couple of receipts.”

She smiled. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow night then. It was a lot of fun tonight, and I’m glad you’re here.”

“Well someone had to work with Duke I guess,” I replied sarcastically.

Duke laughed then dramatically pretended to stab himself in the heart.

Michelle giggled. “We’ll draw straws tomorrow. The short one for Duke.”

“You’re killing me!” he exclaimed.

She laughed again, then waved as she walked toward the exit.

“Nice girl,” Duke said as he wiped down a glass on his counter. “You should get going, Red. It’s getting late and I’m about done here.”

I gave a chin lift to Duke and made my way back to the breakroom.

Cade wasn’t around when I stepped in the hallway, but the door to the office was open. I heard him talking on the phone to someone, and decided I was just too tired to pick a fight with him tonight. I needed some time to think.

I gathered my things and was about to leave when I ran into a wall. A six-foot wall of chest. It was firm and felt fantastic when my hands accidentally brushed over his tight shirt.

Off balance, I stepped back, and glanced up to find Cade smirking down at me.

“Going somewhere?” he asked, catching me before I stumbled into the wall behind me.

I pushed at his hand, but it didn’t move. “Yeah, home. Where I can sleep. I have a shift tomorrow with an asshole boss.”

He chuckled. “You won’t be working with him. He fired you about seven hours ago, I think.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, too bad for him that I’ll be back at work tomorrow anyway. I know the owner and I’m not afraid to play that card.”

“You can’t work here, Suzanne.”

I pushed at his chest and gave him a sour look. “Fuck off, Cade. Dead men don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

Before I could step around him, he grabbed my arm and started dragging me to his office.

“The name is Mark, and we need to talk right now,” he growled.

When we got to his office he shut the door behind us but didn’t let go of my arm. He hauled me to the chair I was sitting in earlier and deposited me into it.

“I need to get home,” I protested, while defiantly glaring at him. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to hear why you’re walking around, with a pulse in your body, but I think I need to let this soak in. Maybe even call Liv. If she knew, then why the fuck didn’t she just say something? Did everyone know?”

He ran a hand down his face in frustration. It was a habit I'd noticed on several occasions while I’d been working with him. This time his hand reached his chin and tugged on his new beard. He generally appeared so clean-cut back in Lakefield, that it seemed out of character. An attempt at a disguise for sure, that might have fooled most people. Unless you were me.

I had to admit it looked good, though, and made him appear a lot more rugged. A little bit biker, and a little bit weight lifter with his muscled frame.

My eyes slid down his body and I felt a pull in my belly. Maybe a little more bad-boy and dirty.

Fuck. I shut my eyes and shook my head.

He chuckled, and my eyes snapped back to his.

He glanced away toward the clock, avoiding my stare for a minute, then looked back at me.

“I can’t give you time to think, and don’t call Liv. She doesn’t and can’t know about this. The only person that knows I’m alive is Logan, and he hasn’t even told Kate. He doesn’t know where I’m at, just that I’m not dead.”

“Why? I don’t understand.”

He crouched down so that his face was even with mine and sighed.

“I’m working with the Feds on a serial murder case. I’m undercover.”

I tilted my head as I studied him. Searching his face for deceit.

“But, why tell people you’re dead? Were you actually shot?”

A frustrated expression passed over his face. “Look, I was headed to Colorado to help Logan and Kate get packed up. You know that story. Yes, I was shot. Neither one of us was expecting to walk back into that shitstorm when we got there. Obviously, I survived.”

“Obviously,” I repeated a little harshly.

“I was also headed up there to meet with a Fed named Mick. He needed some help on a case involving a double murder in New Orleans. Two women killed and dumped in an alley next to a bar that Aiden owns in that area.”

“Oh, God! That’s awful.”

“Yeah,” he said, shaking his head. “The details are worse.”

I thought for a moment, absorbing that and what he wasn’t saying. “I probably don’t want to know. And I didn’t realize that Liv’s husband owned that many bars. I thought it was just a handful.”

He pursed his lips like he was thinking. “He owns a lot of different things including several bars all over the country. Not many in Texas, but several in other states. I’ve been managing a lot of them. Acting as his representative in a way when I check on them. Did you ever wonder why I went out of town so much? Why I wasn’t around?”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, thinking back. He’d been away a lot, but his travel hadn't seemed that excessive. I’d often wondered if he’d taken vacation or had a woman he was spending time with. He wasn’t lacking in admirers back then.

I shook my head. “No, I thought you were just off. Maybe had a girlfriend or something.”

He gave a small smirk. “I’m never off. I like what I do and worked hard to keep it under control. I haven’t been involved with anyone since I met you. There wasn’t time, and I guess that was the biggest part of it. But frankly, I knew eventually I wanted to make a go of it. Working with you was hard some days. Knowing I couldn’t give you more time back then.”

I ducked my head at his confession. Hearing that he’d felt something for me over the past few years left me a little shocked.

Changing to a safe subject, I asked, “So, you were just travelling to different cities?”

He nodded. “Yeah, although I will say that got tougher a couple of years ago when I hired a sassy redhead that I liked working with. That I found myself wanting to be around more than I wanted to travel for work.”

My cheeks felt warm for a second, and I frowned at him in confusion. My mouth opened to respond, but I couldn’t speak.

He glanced away from me, then dropped the subject. “Anyway, the bodies were dumped near Aiden’s bar, and Mick wanted to see if I would consider working with them since I knew the industry. I wouldn’t look like a total idiot managing a few bars for Gary’s organization.”

“Why are you working for Gary specifically?”

“A couple of the women have been taken from his bars then dumped. Mick thought it was enough of a reason to check out his employees and Gary himself.”

“And?”

“And nothing. You’ve met Gary. He’s about as boy scout as they get, and his employees have all been checked out. It’s a dead end, but here I am. There was a woman taken about two weeks ago near a totally random strip club in west Texas. The body was dumped near one of Aiden’s bars again. They’re speculating it’s the same guy but waiting on conclusive tests. But, Gary doesn’t own the business where this woman was taken.”

“If that’s the case, then why do they need you here?”

“Question of the fucking century. I have no idea. Mick is giving me the run around every time I talk to him about it. I’m not even sure I’m helping at all, or what I’m still doing here.”

“Does Gary know about you?”

“No, of course not. That’s why it’s always Mark up here. Always. We’re close to catching this douchebag from what little information that Mick's given me. I’ve been away for months. It’s not something I thought would take this long. I guess I thought it would be maybe a couple of weeks and that’s it.”

I sighed. “And then what? Just walk back into everyone’s lives and say surprise, I’m not dead?”

“Yeah, basically,” he said and shrugged. “When all that stuff happened up in Colorado it was a good opportunity to drop off the radar with everyone. Especially Brock. The Feds didn’t want him snooping around. Again, according to Mick. It’s shitty and I don’t know all the details about that aspect, but I got the distinct feeling they didn’t want him involved. Brock pisses off a lot of people with what he can do.”

“Yeah. Basically,” I responded without any feeling in the words. “Seriously?”

He reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

“I’m sorry, Suzanne. I didn’t like the idea at all, but it was convenient to just say I was dead.”

“Convenient? I guess that’s one way to think about it,” I hissed. “Or you could say, that it was the worst thing you could have done to your family and friends.”

He growled. “If I could go back, I’m not sure I would have chosen to do this at all. At least not the way we did it. But I can’t change it. It’s done, and I feel a lot of guilt about it. They were going to ask Holden, Suzanne. He’s married, and Julia was pregnant at the time. They couldn’t ask any of his guys since they didn’t have the security clearance needed for this kind of job.”

I frowned at him. “But why did you do it at all? Why didn’t you just say no?”

He ran a hand down his face and seemed irritated. “Holden would have said yes. He would have agreed to it. He’s like that, and ever since he got injured, he’s been on light duty with the security company. He might be happy with Julia and his kiddo, but that doesn’t mean that he can quit being who he is entirely.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that with absolute certainty. We’re all like that. Holden, Aiden, Logan, Brock, and me. We were all born separately, but in the ugliness of warfare, we were molded and became brothers. We became better at what we were hired to do through being a team. It was scary how well we worked together and could anticipate each other’s moves. We went on to do other things afterward, but that integral part of our personalities that was formed there, will always be with us.”

I looked away from him and shook my head. “I can’t imagine Logan being like that at all. He’s a doctor. That just doesn’t fit.”

“Doesn’t it?” he asked, with an incredulous expression on his face. “He hasn’t told Kate, or anyone else, what’s happening because I asked him as a brother not to say anything. He won’t break that. The five of us are more alike than we seem, and loyalty to each other will always come first.”

My eyes wandered over his clean desk as I absorbed that.

Finally, I said, “Sounds like the girls don’t have as much priority in their lives as they think. And poor Kate, that could drive a wedge in their marriage. So, you save one relationship and destroy the other?”

His hand cupped my chin and forced me to look at him again.

“That’s not true. They have the upmost priority. Kate too. Would you want her to know something that she would have to hide from her friends? That she would worry about? Remember, she was pregnant at the time and going through a traumatic event. Logan was worried enough. He did it for her as much as he did me. And I’m doing this now, to avoid Holden having to choose and fuck up everything he has with Julia. It would have been the worst decision he’s ever made.”

“You’re assuming—”

He shook his head. “I’m not saying he wouldn’t have asked her. He would have. She balances him, and she probably would have agreed, since she’s as batshit crazy as he is. It would have been hard to fight his nature, and I didn’t want to see either of them have to go through it.”

“I understand, but I just—”

“What?” he asked when I paused.

Not an easy answer. I opened my mouth a few times to respond but nothing came out. Adding to his guilt about what he’d done wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change the fact that I’d cried over him, or that he’d basically sacrificed his life based on whatever notion he had about Holden. It wouldn’t alter Logan’s choice or Cade’s involvement with that lie.

When it came down to making amends at some point, it was going to be their burden to bear for whatever damage they'd inflicted.

“Nothing,” I said after a time, glancing away from him.

His hand moved to the side of my face and made me look at him again.

“Why are you here, anyway? In this city?”

“My mom lives here. This is where I grew up before—” I paused. “You know my dad died a year ago, but she’s still having a rough time. There wasn’t anything holding me back in Lakefield, so I moved.”

Cade gave me an assessing look. “Before what?”

“Nothing. I have to get going. She’s probably asleep, but just in case she wakes up, I don’t want her to worry.”

“One of these days, Suzie, we’re going to talk, and I don’t want your answers to just be nothing.”

I shrugged.

He grasped my hand, pulling me up to stand in front of him.

“I have to go out of town for a couple of days, pretty girl. There are some things I need to do for Mick, apparently. God knows it’ll probably be just another fucking wild goose chase. I may be working for a different company in a couple of weeks out in Dallas. It just never seems to end at this point.”

His firm hand slid around my hip, as he gazed down at me with a serious expression.

“Stay away from the bar. I don’t think this weirdo will get near this small of a city. It seems like he hits major ones and maybe he’s headed west now. Still, I need you to stay away. Even if the guy never comes this way, it’s going to be hard seeing you and not being able to talk to you like this or touch you.”

I smirked at him. “Afraid you’ll blow your cover?”

He chuckled. “Frankly, yes. I nearly hauled you over my shoulder tonight to drag you back to the breakroom.”

He studied my clothing and lingered on my legs for a moment.

“Watching you tonight, made me want to punch half the bar every time some guy smiled at you, or watched your ass when you walked away.”

“I’m still mad at you, Cade, so stop trying to flatter me.”

He stepped back slightly, tilting his head to the side.

“I don’t flatter. It’s the truth. You know me well enough to know that I’ll say exactly what I want to, when I want to, even if it pisses someone off. You walked out on the floor earlier and my dick was hard in about two seconds. I forgot what it was like working with you and trying to hide an erection.”

“What?” I asked.

He laughed. “Why do you think I always gave you the back rooms at Muse?”

“To torture me with the retirement stiffs?”

He smirked, and his eyes twinkled.

“No. It was easier to work with you back there. Having a hard-on for an eight-hour shift, sucked.”

I stared up at him and blinked. He what?

“Pete was always hitting on you too. It pissed me off. Speaking of which, did you do anything with him after I left?” he asked then shook his head. “Nevermind. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

“No. I’m not like that anyway, but he’s harmless. He tried a few times, but I think he was just joking around more than anything.”

“Right. The most beautiful woman in Lakefield in front of him, and he was joking.”

I rolled my eyes. “He was, believe me. I wasn’t really in a good place anyway. I think he wanted to just get me to smile afterward.”

He leaned forward until his face was close enough to mine that I could almost feel him. His breath fell across my lips and caused me to shiver.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he whispered.

How many times had I dreamed that he would say that to me? I’d lost count at this point. Months ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated.

Now, though? My brain needed time, and yet, my body was so turned on by his nearness that it overrode any rational thought.

Fuck. Cade had asked for a kiss. One kiss wouldn’t screw me up for life, right?