Brett

 

Never in my life have I made love to someone. It was something I honestly didn’t even know existed, not until I met her. Sex was always just sex. It felt good and held no emotion. I didn’t intend to make love to her when this day started, but fuck, I felt so many things it was impossible to push them down. So for the first time in my life, I gave a piece of myself to someone. I gave it to Eva.

It’s terrifying because the thought of losing her now will literally destroy me. I just couldn’t fight it any longer. She made it impossible.

So here we are laying in bed, holding each other while she traces my tattoos. And it feels good, no it feels right. Like this is where I belong. Where she belongs.

“What does this mean?” she asks, tracing the words on my chest.

“Mi Vida Loca? It means my crazy life,” I tell her. It was fitting, still is. There is no better way to describe my life.

“Do all of them have meaning?”

Kissing her forehead, I start to point some out. Pointing to the black roses I say, “This one was my first tattoo. I got it after my grandparents died.” Pointing to the cross on my chest I say, “This one I got when my buddy died.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“Don’t be. It’s how I remember them. Not all of them are for people I lost. A lot are, like this poker chip, these praying hands and these dark clouds. But the engine, the bright sun and the cards are all good memories. Working as a mechanic, feeling freedom and dealing with the hand you’re dealt,” I say, explaining.

She presses a kiss to chest and peeks up at me. “They’re all amazing.”

“Thanks,” I say, grinning.

She rests her head on my chest as I softly run my fingers up and down her arm. We stay quiet for a while. I’m not sure about her, but my head’s all over the place. Just as I’m about to ask her if she’s getting tired, I look down and see she’s sound asleep. I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on top of her head. Closing my eyes, I hold her close. Just add it to the list of things I’ve never done until Eva.

Waking up in the morning with a naked Eva has some huge advantages. After waking her up by eating her inviting pussy, I fucked her and had her screaming my name. Not a bad way to start the day.

I wanted to shower with her, but she had to handle something that happened at her shop. I figure it’s just something to look forward to when we get home. After I showered, I got dressed and started packing. Making sure I had everything together for my tux when I return it, Eva got in the shower.

Glancing at the clock, I realize she’s been in there for over an hour. Knocking on the door I ask if she’s alright.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out,” she says.

Shrugging I grab my phone and wallet. I don’t know how long it takes a chick to get ready, but I’m guessing over an hour. A few minutes later she comes walking out of the bathroom, but she doesn’t look happy. Her eyes are puffy and red, her full lips are turned down and she won’t make eye contact with me.

“Hey,” I softly say. She lifts her sad eyes to me and I cup her cheek. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she says, trying to force a smile.

“Doesn’t look like nothing. You’ve obviously been crying. Is it because of last night?” I ask, searching her eyes.

“No, God no. Last night was amazing. I’m fine really. It’s my damn allergies making my eyes so puffy. Makes me look horrible,” she says, with a small laugh.

Fuck. I don’t know if I believe her or not. I want to, I want nothing more than to believe she wasn’t in there regretting everything. That she suffers from allergies so bad that it makes her look like she’s been crying. So, I choose to believe it. I push down the fear she’s going to run and choose to believe it’s allergies.

“You don’t look horrible, you look beautiful,” I say, kissing her full lips. “You ready to head home?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The drive home is pretty quiet, but I just chalk it up to her being tired from her allergies. To calm my ridiculous thoughts I reach over and link my fingers with hers. Glancing over she smiles at me and I give her a wink. It’s unbelievable that just having her hand in mine can make me feel this much calmer. I don’t even recognize myself.

It’s only an hour drive and as we get close to home, I squeeze her hand. “You want to come back to my place. Maybe we can order in some food or something?”

“Oh, not tonight. I need to do a few things at home. Rain check?”

“Okay that’s cool. I’ll drop you off first than before I return my tux,” I say, turning down her street. Pulling in front of her place, I throw the truck into park. “I’ll help you inside.”

Grabbing her bag out of the back, she meets me by the driveway. “I’ve got it really. You need to get that tux back before you end up paying more,” she says, grabbing the bag from me. “Brett, I had an amazing time.”

Pressing her lips to mine, I kiss her her back. The second our tongues connect I swallow down her moan. My heart beats faster in my chest when she drops her bag and wraps her arms around me. My hands pull at her hair as I deepen the kiss and she digs her nails into my shoulders. Kissing her outside where anyone can see is more exciting than screwing in the bar bathroom. It means something and anyone that sees will know that.

We break the kiss and I smile at her. “You better go before I carry you into that house.”

She laughs and gives me a quick kiss. “Brett, last night was special. Don’t think otherwise.” Before I can even tell her I agree, she’s walking toward her door.

Climbing back into the truck I blow out a breath. “We’re good, everything is fine.”

 

**

 

Three days. It’s been three fucking days since I dropped Eva off and I haven’t heard a word from her. I’ve become this pathetic asshole that sits around waiting to hear from her. I’ve texted, I’ve called, I’ve gotten drunk. I tried getting a hold of Asher for advice but he’s on his honeymoon, getting fucked. While I’m sitting here a pitiful fuck. I knew something was wrong that day, that it wasn’t allergies. I just didn’t want to believe that I put myself in a situation where I was going to be hurt. I’ll be honest I was upset, but now that has changed. I’m no longer upset she’s blowing me off. No, we’re way past that. Now I’m pissed.

Grabbing my keys, I decide it’s time to confront her. This is why I don’t let anyone in. You just end up alone and more miserable than you were when it started. Fuck that. She wants to blow me off, she can be woman enough to do it to my face.

Pulling up to her house, I take a second to look at the spot we last kissed. “Fuck,” I yell, hitting the steering wheel.

Walking up to the door, I have so much anger rushing through me I wonder if maybe I should wait. Maybe I need to take a minute before I knock on this door and say things that I can’t take back. But I don’t. I bang on the door and wait.

The door opens and I’m ready to see Eva’s honey eyes, but instead I see an older version of her. “Hello?” she says, sounding like a question.

“Umm, hey. I’m looking for Eva,” I say, confused as hell.

She covers her mouth and tears brim her eyes. What the fuck is going on? My pulse begins to race and I swallow down the bile I feel coming up.

“I’m Eva’s mom, Mary. Are you Brett?” she asks.

“I am.”

“Please, come in,” she says, pushing the door open.

I feel my head shaking before the door is fully open. “No. No I’m good.”

“Please,” she says, touching my arm. Nodding once, I step inside. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

It’s nice, but I need to know what the fuck is going on. Something is wrong, I feel it. I know that look on her face, I’ve seen it enough times in my life. “Just say it,” I whisper.

“Oh dear. Eva’s back in the hospital. They think the cancer may be back.”

The room spins and the bile rushes up my throat. Cancer. She has cancer.