Chapter 18
LUCAS
Liz invaded my dreams.
As if it wasn’t enough that she was invading my waking thoughts, she just slipped herself into my sleeping hours, too—inserted herself and took over, until all I could see were golden brown eyes and all I could hear was the sound of her voice calling my name. It was pure, sweet torture, and I often woke up with the hardest morning wood there was to date.
I also ended up avoiding her like a plague whenever I could.
Benjamin hovered over me like some kind of mother the following day, and it would have been sweet if it wasn’t annoying. The incident hopefully won’t happen again, and I wanted to treat it as a warning call more than anything more alarming.
But that didn’t stop the worry from coming.
To temper it down, I did what I could with what I had—ordered more bottles of alcohol to last me a year, then drank it at night until I was too inebriated to think. Benjamin probably did the same shit he did to get rid of his own beast, and we were both left to our own devices in between him trying to choose a princess and me trying to keep things in order until then. I could already tell who he was soft for among the eleven left but I didn’t want to assume yet until he announced it.
He also obviously wasn’t in love with any of them yet. But that was an arranged marriage for you.
Despite the intensity of my drinking now, the puzzling thing was how I still found myself in bed every morning—tucked in, with my shoes off my feet and most of my upper clothes gone. At first, I thought it was just a stroke of luck…that was, until the fifth time it happened and I just knew I didn’t have it in me to be this organized.
As if to prove that point, I got to wake up earlier than usual on the sixth day and found none other than Liz hovering over me.
My eyes widened, and so did hers. She froze in place, a damp towel in hand and a basin on the bedside table. The blankets already surrounded me, a warm comfort.
She immediately retreated.
“Hey,” she greeted, trying to appear calm. I could detect the nerves in her voice, though. “I didn’t expect you to wake up early.”
I sat up in bed, the blanket falling to my lap. I watched her wring the towel dry, then try to bring the basin to the bathroom. But my hand was already on her wrist before she could move, and she paused and turned to look at me.
“You’ve been cleaning up after me for six days?”
Liz bit her lip. Then she nodded her head tentatively, and I could feel the first surge of irritation come through. The fact that I didn’t even have a hangover spoke miracles, but the fact that she was doing everything she could to make me comfortable and prevent it made that miracle have a bitter aftertaste.
“Yes,” she finally responded.
“You shouldn’t have,” I said, my tone gruffer than I intended. “You shouldn’t even be in this room.”
Her back went straight at that. “Then you shouldn’t be wandering the halls too drunk to think, only for me to find you. You’ve left me no choice.”
“I—”
“And don’t say you’re sorry,” she interrupted. “Because it’s getting tiring.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Your scars…”
So she saw the scars on my back. I looked away. There was no explaining away something like that without revealing my nature, but I had to try. “It’s nothing.”
“Liar.”
We looked hard at each other, and I still didn’t let go of her hand. But I loosened my grip, encircling her wrist in a soothing motion that had her expression going soft.
“I couldn’t just leave you alone, Lucas.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s wrong.”
“Try again. Why?”
“Because the other girls might see you.”
“Try again.”
“Because it’s—”
“Try again—”
“Because I care about you! Happy now?” She exploded, blurting the words out before a stricken expression crossed her face. Shock filled me at the confession, followed by something that burst out of me and took hold of any semblance of control I may have had. She saw it, and her eyes flared in response. She made a move to back away, but my hand on her wrist tightened again, though not to the point of pain.
“Maybe,” I muttered.
Then I was pulling her into bed and damning all consequences.
The basin fell on the rug with a soft thud, but neither of us cared as I covered her mouth with mine and took what was there. She was soft and warm, smelling so good that I was drunk for a different reason this time.
She didn’t fight it. Instead, Liz kissed me back with an intensity that set my body and soul on fire, and it would have made me stagger if I wasn’t in bed already. I pulled her closer until she was settled nicely on my lap, straddling me over the blankets and placing her hands on my chest for balance.
“Tell me if you don’t want this,” I said hoarsely, my tongue sliding in and seeking hers out. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”
In response, Liz’s body surged forward and pressed against mine, and the way her kisses turned hungry left no doubt to what her exact opinion was on the matter.
I groaned as something hot seared in my stomach. Then I groaned some more as her tongue finally met mine, tangling in a hot collision. I kissed her as thoroughly as I could, exploring every inch and getting drunk from the wonderful taste.
My hands were just there at first, idle, but it wasn’t long before they started moving, too, wanting to touch skin I’d been craving to touch for so long now.
Her skin was as soft as I imagined, especially when I slid my hand under her shirt. It was her sleeping shirt, which meant she came here right when she woke up just to take care of me.
And she had no bra underneath.
The feel of her breast against my palm was a surreal experience. She was soft yet firm, a perfect globe that fit in my hand and had me wanting to squeeze it. I did just that and had the pleasure of feeling her moan vibrate in my mouth, then her nipple pebble. Unable to resist it any longer, I thumbed the pebbled tip, teasing it and making it even stiffer. She enjoyed that, writhing lightly against me as more sounds came out of her throat.
When just touching no longer seemed enough, I broke our kiss and slid my mouth down her throat, taking my time to suck and lick the way she liked it. Then I slowly slid her shirt up and over her head, finally getting a glimpse of what I’d been missing.
Her nipples were pink and perfect, goosebumps rising all over them and making my mouth water. The contrast of my tanned thumb against her pale skin was extremely sexy, and I watched as I pinched and rubbed her in fast, then slow movements. Then I removed my thumb from one and lowered my head, and I glimpsed her eyes widening before I closed my lips over the pink.
Warm, just like her. Hard. A keening cry came out of Liz as her hands went to my hair to fist, and I felt her body vibrate in pleasure. I teased her as much as I could, licking thoroughly before I sucked intensely. Not wanting to leave a breast out, I did the same to the other one, enjoying the way she lost control of her inhibitions.
She kept writhing. Then she ground her hips against me, a restless movement that she probably thought would alleviate it—except it only ground her clothed core against my cock, and what followed was pleasure so intense that it almost jarred me.
I rolled and took her with me until she was flat on the bed. Then I crushed her mouth with mine again, kissing her harder as my hand trailed lower. We were both lost in our urgency, and I felt her hand against my erection, pressing against my sweatpants and making me lose my breath. She rubbed tentatively, and I took her wrist and guided her hand in until those delicate but strong fingers wrapped around my shaft.
“You’re so big…” she said.
A strangled chuckle came out of my throat, and I nodded. “Touch me. Show me how much you want to touch me.”
She did. Her hands moved in a gentle caress at first before she moved it more confidently, stroking almost clumsily but firmly. She obviously wasn’t an expert, but it didn’t matter—my cock pulsed and came to life, anyway, aching for her and no one else. She set a rhythm that was both awkward and arousing, and her mouth boldly moved against mine and played with my tongue.
When she bit my bottom lip, at the same time squeezed me, I knew I wasn’t going to last if I let this continue. I swatted her hand off, earning a gentle protest which I quieted with another dizzying kiss. Then it was my hand moving inside her pajama pants, sliding them down before I placed my fingers over her panties.
She was already damp, and anticipation singed in my bones at the thought of her wetness inside. I made a rubbing motion and felt her body jump in shock, and I knew it was a shock of pleasure as she clung to me and pulled me closer. I urged her to relax, urged her body to loosen up for me as I kissed a path down her stomach, where I stayed for a while. Then I slid her panties down and slid my mouth lower, taking my time and letting her adjust to the sensation.
I looked down and found her pink and glistening as suspected, and the sight had my cock going harder. Unable to wait any longer, I rubbed her slit with my fingers, a gentle, teasing movement.
Then I slid my fingers in to feel her wetness inside.
The first thrust had her body stiffening—an instant reaction that started from her knees and traveled up, which I felt against my own body. Then the small cry came, confusing me at first before I realized it wasn’t a cry of pleasure but a cry of pain.
Her tight channel clenched against my fingers, as if to push me out. Horror filled me when I realized there was a barrier there—one that only signified one thing.
“You’re a virgin?”
Her cheeks turned pink, and she scrambled back. I was vaulting off her as if electrified, and my expression must have shown the shock I felt because she wrapped her blankets around her body to cover herself up.
“Liz…”
She looked up. “Yes. Yes, I am. Now you know. What are you going to do about it?”
The question was bold, and I could detect the things she tried to hide—the expectation, the hope. The defeat. I didn’t want to do this because all my body wanted was to climb back in bed and finish having my way with her.
But Liz didn’t deserve me. Not like this.
Not when I would just destroy her future.
So I schooled my expression and tried to appear unaffected. “Nothing.”
Her face fell, but she looked down quickly enough.
“I’m sorry, Liz.”
“I don’t want to hear your apology.”
I wanted to say it over and over because I was sorry. Goddammit. I was such a fool, rushing into my needs without thinking of her.
And I must amend it before it was too late.
“Fine. Then I’ll leave. Please be gone when I come back.”
It was clear-cut and a tad bit harsh, but it was a must. I turned around before I could see her expression again. It was better this way.
Then I left the room and closed the door, already looking for a place to find any sort of peace.