Chapter Nine

 

 

Brett pulled into the guest parking garage of Tracy’s apartment. A giant-sized pit of worry had managed to ball itself up inside his stomach, making him nervous as hell.

She had finally returned his text message an hour earlier. Asking to be left alone. But, he didn’t relent. Begging her to meet him at least once more, she finally gave in and invited him over to her place.

He parked, got in the elevator and took it up to her floor. She was standing in the doorway as he got out. Silence loomed between them as he wondered what he was going to say.

He was so damn anxious. What if he was wrong and there was no way in hell they had a chance? What if she told him to get lost? Would he be able to stand it?

Knowing there was only one way to find out, he continued down the never-ending hallway to her apartment.

“Trace, thank you getting back to me. I’d like a chance to –.”

“Don’t.” she silenced him. “Just… come inside.”

He did as she asked, wondering why her apartment felt so much colder than it had the weekend before.

She closed the door behind him and made an attempt to walk past when he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him.

He dipped his head down, gently kissing her with the softest of touch. He brushed his lips across hers, and slowly he used his tongue to swipe across her lips.

She opened her mouth, inviting him further into her. Her response was immediate as she met his pace.

He held her close to his body and she fit snugly against him. She had to feel his arousal already forming and pressing against her stomach. She’d be a fool to not realize he was growing hard. He couldn’t help himself. There was something about her that drove him wild.

She pulled away suddenly and said, “Let’s sit down.”

He nodded and went to the living room.

He sat down on the couch and waited for him to join her.

“Tracy, I know that we moved fast the other night. And I can guess that what I did all those years ago played a big part in you throwing me out, but I’m not that guy anymore. Cheating on you was the biggest regret I’ve ever had.”

“Brett –.”

“No, please. Let me finish.”

“Okay.”

“I know that I can’t undo the past. But being with you, it reminded me… shit, I don’t know how to say this without scaring you away.”

“Just say it, Brett.”

“It reminded me of all the reasons I loved you back then. And… to be honest… it made me realize, I don’t think I’ve ever stopped.”

“Don’t do this.” She shook her head and began to get up.

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her back down to the couch. “I mean it, Trace. When you threw me out the other night, I felt the worst kind of hurt.”

“I’m pretty sure I can top it.” She added sarcastically.

“I know. I hurt you. I hurt you horribly. And I can’t even understand why you even bothered talking to me last week and gave me your number.”

“Is this how you plan on winning me over?”

“I mean I know I didn’t deserve it. Not after what I did. But, you did and I’m so thankful for that.”

“Brett, listen…”

“I’m sorry Tracy. I was the biggest kind of ass. I was young, I was stupid, and I was… did I say stupid already?”

She smiled a little. That tiny gesture warming up the entire room. “You did. But, it does have merit. Feel free to say it as much as you like.”

“I’m an idiot. Like a million times stupider than the stupidest person alive.”

“That hardly makes sense.”

“I know. But, I’m trying here. And I’m fucking nervous as hell.”

“Why? I mean what is it about me that makes you even want me?”

He was shocked by her question. Not just the question itself, but the way she asked it. There was a definite level of uncertainty in her eyes. An unspoken insecurity he didn’t even think a woman like her could possess. Yet here she was, the most beautiful woman he’d ever known, ever seen, ever touched, doubting herself. The thought made him sick to his stomach.

“Are you crazy? Do you not realize how lucky I am that you were my girlfriend all through high school? Shit, more than half the guys in school were jealous of me. And now,” he shook his head, “I would have never believed it, but you’re even more beautiful now than you were then. And I’m not just talking about your physical appearance. I’m talking about your heart, about what’s inside.”

“You don’t even know me, Brett. We haven’t seen each other in fifteen years. How do you know that I’m not a horrible person?”

“Not possible.”

“I could be mean to children and kick puppies for all you know.”

“I happen to know for a fact that you’re a huge animal lover and would never –.”

“Parking!”

“Huh?”

“I have one of those fake coins that magnetizes the coin drop in parking meters. So, I never have to pay. I just put it in and it pops right back out again.”

He laughed. “Well, a parking thief, huh?”

“Yep. You’re looking at a hardened criminal.”

“I’d say so. You must have ties to the mob.”

She smiled, “Brett, listen… I appreciate your apologies. They are so sweet. But, the truth is you apologized all those years ago. I should’ve forgiven you back then, but –.”

“I didn’t deserve it then.”

“But you think you deserve it now?”

“I’ve grown up, Trace. I’m not the same horny and drunk teenager that’s going to hurt you. I’m a man. A man who knows what he lost and a man who wants a second chance.”

She let out a sigh. “I don’t know, Brett. It’s not that I’m still angry with you. I have… baggage.”

“Babe, we all have baggage.”

“No, not like mine.”

“Okay, so tell me. What’s so bad about your baggage?”

“I have trust issues. Big ones. Like ginormous trust issues.”

“I won’t cheat on you again. I won’t. You have my word.”

“It’s not just you, Brett. It’s all of you.”

“Okay… now you lost me.” He replied.

“Since you and I broke up I have had close to a dozen boyfriends.”

“Not sure I want to hear this.”

She gave him an irritated look. “Stop.”

“Fine, go on.”

“All of my boyfriends throughout the years. Every single one of them did what you did?”

“Ended up in the back seat with Natalie Munoz?”

“Do I look amused?”

He offered a pitiful look. “I’m sorry. Not the right time. Go on.”

She smirked at him slightly. “As I was saying, they all did what you did. They all cheated on me.”

“What?”

“Yes. Every single one of them.”

“How is that even possible. I mean… have they seen you?”

“Yes, they also slept with me.”

“I didn’t need to hear that.”

“Maybe not, but you need to hear why I don’t trust men in general. And why I put my walls up. Why I don’t allow myself to feel.”

“But you did with me.” He reached his hand out and brushed his thumb across her cheek. “You felt with me. I could see it in your eyes. I felt it in your touch.”

“I’m scared Brett. It hurt when the other men cheated on me. But with you, oh God, you have no idea the heartache I felt. I thought I’d forgotten about it until I saw you last week. It brought all of the raw pain right back to the surface. So, it doesn’t matter what you say. Even if my heart believes that you won’t hurt me, my head won’t believe it. And that is the kind of mind fuck my baggage does to me.”

“Come here.” He pulled her up to a standing position and led her down the hall to her bedroom.

Standing in front of her dresser mirror he continued, “Look at yourself. And look at me. I won’t hurt you again. I won’t.”

“Look at yourself. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? Do you have any idea how desirable you are?”

He watched her as she sized up her reflection in the mirror. He could see the questioning in her eyes. He astounded him that she couldn’t see what he did.

He came up behind her, lifted her hair in his hands and pulled it over one shoulder. He then bent his head down and gently kissed, then licked and nibbled on her ear.

“How you could ever doubt your beauty? You are the sexiest, most desirable woman I’ve ever known. Don’t you know that?”

He continued to kiss and lick the side of her neck as he worked his hands around to her breasts and began massaging and teasing her nipples through her blouse, instantly making her nipples harden.

The desire she stirred within him with the slightest touch always made him want more. She turned to him then, looking up into his eyes, he could sense the change in her. He could feel her passion building in the deep green of her emerald eyes.

Could she actually forgive him, want him and even love him after everything she’d been through? He would do anything to make up for the pain he’d caused her. But, he knew he would never be able to take away the hurt the other men caused.

“You say you’ll never hurt me again, Brett. Is that the truth? How do I know? How can I be sure you won’t do it again?”

“I wish I could give you proof, but all I can do is give you my word. It’s all I have. Only now, it means a hell of a lot more than that stupid teenager who screwed up so long ago.”

She reached behind herself and pressed her hand against his cock. It was thick, pulsating and ready for her. He’d been in a semi-hard state for the past week ever since he ran into her again.

Feeling her body against him made it all the more hard to keep his composure. His erection was bulging and painfully pressing against the zipper of his jeans. And, the feel of her hand cupping it was amazing. It made him ache for her, sending heat to all of the right places, making his hunger for her that much stronger.

“Do you feel that?” His asked in a low whisper.

“Mmm… yes.”

“That only happens with you. I’ve been with other women, but none of them have compared to you. Somehow throughout the years I’d forgotten that. But now, now I remember. You’re the one who drives me completely insane. My body aches for you in ways that I didn’t know were possible. Do you understand that?”

“Brett…”

“No, babe. I need you to know that. I got hard from looking at you. Then kissing you, touching you, shit… it’s so much more than I can even explain.”

She stared at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to finish.

“This here. Us. It means that I’m no longer available for anyone else. It means that not only does my heart belong to you, but that my body does as well. It means that nothing can be done to change that. No amount of anger or sadness can make my mind or heart betray you.”

“I just don’t know –.”

“Don’t, Trace. Don’t do that. Stop thinking. Stop worrying. Just feel. Feel my body pressed against yours. Feel my heart beating with yours. Feel my love for you that has never gone away.”

“You really think you still love me?”

“No. I don’t think I love you. I know that I do.”

“Show me, then. If you want me to believe that you love me, that you’ll never cheat on me, then show me. Make me believe it all.” Tears stung her eyes. “Just please make love to me. Make this unbearable doubt and pain go away. I don’t want to feel anything but you.” She choked on her last words.

Her tears nearly broke his heart. “Shh… don’t cry, honey. Please don’t cry.”

“For years I’ve wondered what it was about me that made me so… so…”

“Don’t say it. It’s not you. It’s me. It’s men. We’re fucking self-serving pricks. Not one of us assholes who was stupid enough to cheat on you deserves you. But, I want to deserve you. If you give me the chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life learning how to deserve you. I’ll be the best man I can be. If you’ll just give me that chance.”

“I love you, Brett.”

He smiled. “You do?”

“I don’t think I ever stopped either. You were my first love. It’s hard to get over something like that.”

“I know I never got over it.”

“Then let’s don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Get over it. Get over each other. You say you won’t hurt me. You say you’re sorry. I think I have to believe you. I want to.”

“Thank you, baby. I swear I won’t.”

“For some reason, I believe you. I don’t know why, but I do.”

He must be on a rollercoaster ride, because his stomach about dropped out from underneath him. His sweet, beautiful Tracy was not only giving him another chance, offering her forgiveness and accepting him, but here she stood, begging him to make love to her.

He didn’t know what he’d done, what he’d said, or what miracle he’d created to make this happen. He just thankful that it had.

Brett pulled her into a kiss. It was tender, gentle, and undemanding. But this time it was Tracy who became impatient. Her actions were urgent, more insistent.

The intensity of the kiss grew stronger the more they fed off one another’s passion.

She wanted him now, there was no mistaking it. And he wanted her too.

He wanted their bodies to connect and become one. He needed that connection now more than ever before.

“Come here, baby.”

Brett led her to the bed and watched as she laid down. Her long brown, wavy hair splayed out across the mattress.

“Baby, you are amazing. Do you know that?”

She didn’t answer, just smiled up at him and held her hands out to him.

He came on the bed to join her, pressing his body down against hers as he dipped his head down and crushed her mouth with his.

His entire body was on fire. The two of them writhing against one another as they worked themselves closer to the point of no return.

Suddenly he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to feel inside of her. Hurriedly, he began yanking at her shorts and pulling them down her thighs.

Once she was finally free he pulled off his t-shirt and unfastened his jeans. He couldn’t get to her fast enough.

When she rid herself of her shirt, he dove in to one breast, sucking on her nipple with purposeful intent.

Nibbling and playing it until switching to the other side he could feel his cock begin to leak with pre-cum.

With a driving force unbeknownst to him in the past, he leaned over her, and plunged inside. Her eyes flew open in shock as she watched him take her. Smiling, she wrapped her legs around him, doing anything she could to bring him closer.

Brett reached under the arch of her back and pulled her body up slightly. “Lay your head back down, arch your.”

The position caused a friction against her clit that she was obviously enjoying. Moans began spilling from her mouth, while whimpers and pleas for more joined.

“You feel so good, baby.”

She didn’t reply. She just looked up at him with heavy lidded eyes while their bodies shook from his continued thrusts.

He felt Tracy’s pussy begin to spasm, telling him that he couldn’t hold on for a second longer. With a rush of emotion and intensity, Brett felt his orgasm claw at him, racing down his spine and exploding inside him.

“Brett!” Her breathy scream echoed in the room.

After several moments their breathing steadied and she looked up at him with a smile.

“Come here.” He slid off her body and pulled her close to him.

When she settled into the crook of his shoulder, he reiterated his earlier promise to her. “You’ll see, babe. I’m not going to hurt you again.”

“Said the spider to the fly.” She laughed.

“Hey now, I may have been a dog in high school, but you know how I feel about those eight-legged freaks of nature.”

“That’s too bad. I know this girl who works in a pet store. We could get you a nice little tarantula.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m quite sure. Don’t even joke about that crap.”

He gave her a gentle slap on her ass before getting serious again. “I meant what I said, Tracy. I’m not gonna fuck this up this time. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“I know.”

“Do you really?”

“I believe that you believe it. And for now, that’s all I can ask. Just like I need you to be patient with me. I’ve had my walls up for a long time. Feelings, and giving into those feelings aren’t something I go into lightly. So, let’s take things slow, okay? Let’s see how things happen naturally.”

“Hmm… patience… not sure how I feel about that. But, for you, I can handle it.”

“Good. Because I’m beginning to feel for the first time in a long time. And even though it scares me, I’m glad I am feeling it with you.”

“Hey.” He lifted her chin up with his forefinger and thumb. “I’m glad it’s with me too.”

She let out a long and exhausted breath. “I could go for a nap.”

“Take a nap, Trace. I’m not going anywhere.”

He held her there in his arms, waiting for her to fall asleep, afraid that if he moved that he’d wake up from this dream. Only it wasn’t a dream. It was reality. And for some reason he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.

This wasn’t the girl he dated and fell in love with in high school. She was a woman. A woman that he’d lost once, but he had no intentions of losing again.