Chapter 24
Past
“And then he”—one of Nathan’s friends broke off, laughing too hard to finish—“he just picked up his pants and said, ‘they needed to air off anyway’.”
Everyone roared with laughter as the boy retold the story of when he had pantsed Nathan during a rugby scrimmage earlier in the year. Though Nathan laughed, too, his cheeks tinted pink. He hoped no one could see it with the flames from the bonfire already heating them up.
Nathan was the reserved, serious brother, whereas his older brother Jason was the jokester. His friend was lucky he hadn’t kicked his ass and instead took a play out of his brother’s book by making a joke out of an embarrassing situation. Now it was just a fond memory that was often repeated when everyone was plied with alcohol as they were now.
Nathan sat with Seraphina between his bent knees, sharing a cup of rum and Coke. With the alcohol flowing, she was laughing easily, head thrown back. Nathan smiled just from simply watching her.
He always worried about her. She would grow despondent at times, missing her mother or feeling like a burden. It was his job to coax her out of those negative thoughts. He had felt that way for as long as he could remember. Always there to brush off her boo-boos when she got hurt, hold her hand when she was scared, or give her some of his food when she was still hungry.
He had always thought he could feel her emotions. When she was sad, his heart felt heavy. When she was happy or joyful, his heart felt light. When she was mad, a black mood encompassed him. And when she was turned on, so was he.
Seraphina kneaded his calf, knowing he easily got embarrassed.
He sat up from resting back on his arms and rested his chin on her shoulder. She leaned her head against his before lifting the red Solo cup to his lips.
After taking a sip, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat, he whispered, “I dare you to chug that.” The drink was only half full, and he knew she hadn’t been drinking much. He wanted her loosened up and having fun.
She turned her head to look at him. “Only if you take a shot … with sand in it.”
Nathan gave her a look of disgust. “You’re a cruel woman.”
She grinned at him before lifting the Solo cup and chugging the liquid down.
“Happy?” she asked as she handed him the now empty cup.
He grunted in answer, motioning for one of his friends to pass the bottle of rum. After filling it up with a shot’s worth, Seraphina sprinkled some sand into it. He narrowed his eyes at her before lifting the cup and tossing the burning fluid down his throat.
Seraphina took the cup from him and looked into it, making a face. There was sand all over the bottom.
“Your fault,” Nathan quipped.
At that moment, a popular song came on the portable radio and everyone cheered, starting to sing along.
Ignoring the others’ energy, Seraphina dropped the Solo cup and turned around completely, still sitting between Nathan’s legs. She then lifted one of the blankets they had brought and wrapped it around them both.
Cocooned in their blankets, Nathan stared into Seraphina’s eyes that reflected the flames dancing in the distance behind him. All up and down the beach, kids were partying around bonfires.
“You have beautiful eyes,” he told her.
Seraphina leaned forward and kissed him, not caring about the crowd of celebrating teenagers who were drinking, talking, and dancing around them.
They had just finished their sophomore year, had just celebrated their sixteenth birthdays, and had just gotten their driver’s licenses. Nathan’s parents had bought him a new car and allowed him to move into the pool house, while Seraphina had received a college fund, refusing to allow them to buy her a car. She would have refused the obscene amount of money they had set aside for her college, too, but the Styles had said they had already conceded to her no car wish and that the fund was already a done deal, no takebacks.
Seraphina knew how fortunate she was. Never knowing who her father was, her mother dying when she was nine, the Styles had taken her in as one of their own. She had grown up in their house and had played with Nathan since they had been two years old. Her mother, Heather Nolic, had been the boys’ nanny—both Nathan and Jason—since their parents’ job took them all over the world. She and her mother had lived in the pool house until her mother’s death. Then Seraphina had moved into the house.
Seven years later, Nathan wasn’t just her best friend, but her boyfriend, whereas Jason was like any older brother—always teasing her while making sure no one else did. She was content with her life. She loved the Styles and especially loved Nathan, as he did her.
From playpen pals to classmates, from innocent flirting to clandestine kissing, from curling up with one another in comfort to wrapping their body’s around each other in desire, the two had always been inseparable. In fact, the only times they weren’t together were during classes they didn’t share and after school when Nathan played rugby and Seraphina had her dance classes. The second those chores were done, though, the two were reconnected at the hip.
They even shared birthdays, though they weren’t born on the same day—only four days apart. When the Styles had attempted to throw their son a birthday party at the age of seven, he had insisted on sharing it with Seraphina. Since then, they always shared a party. At this point, most people in their small, Northern California beach town thought they actually did share a birthday. Only a few in their immediate circle knew the truth. Still, everyone celebrated Seraphina’s birthday on Nathan’s, except Nathan, who now did or gave something special to her each year.
This year, he had gotten her an infinity necklace with the pendant of an angel wing hanging off it. Engraved on the back was: as is our love. Nathan had explained to her that he knew their love was eternal, that even the angels were watching over it. Plus, the angel wing had a double meaning because of her name. Seraphina loved it. It was the first real token of their love.
He had given her plenty of promise rings he had won out of the quarter machines at the grocery stores when they had been kids. She had kept them all, too. They rested in a shoe box in her closet, along with all the other tokens that reminded her of him. Tickets to concerts and movies they had seen together, locks of hair tied together, a straw wrapper he had tied around her ring finger, corsages from school dances, notes they had passed during class, a hot sauce packet that said I love you—she kept it all.
Now, as they made out beneath the stars, a cool breeze coming off the ocean, tempered by the hot flames they sat next to, Nathan sunk into the oblivion that was Seraphina. Everything else held no consequence, not the crackling of multiple bonfires along the beach; not the sounds of waves crashing against rocks, the surf; the kids laughing, yelling, talking; music coming from someone’s portable speaker.
“I love you,” Seraphina told him when they parted, removing her hands from his hair to knot hers with his in her lap.
“I’ll never stop,” Nathan repeated what he always told her in response as he scooted to her side, forcing her to release his hands so he could wrap his arm around her waist while still holding the blanket around them. Though it was June, the air off the water was frigid.
“Yo, Nathan, get your wet suit,” one of his friends called out to him, soaking wet from already being in the water.
Nathan ignored him, leaning in to nuzzle Seraphina’s neck.
“Yeah, not happening,” another friend called out, sniggering when they saw what held all of Nathan’s attention.
Jokes started circulating and girls giggled as Nathan ran his nose along the sensitive skin under her ear and made her squeal as goosebumps dotted her skin. She giggled until he inched up and tugged her earlobe gently between his teeth. Then she moaned, closing her eyes.
Eventually, they heard their friends wander off or couple up on other pallets around their bonfire, leaving them to their own bubble.
Neither were virgins any longer, having lost their virginity to each other a couple of weeks ago, just days after turning sixteen. Since then, both had been insatiable, wanting to discover all the ways they could pleasure each other. They were daring until the barriers were completely removed from their bodies. Then they were tentative, shy, yet eager. Once they got over their initial hesitations, they grew bolder, challenging and playful in bed.
Like now, as Nathan bit her earlobe, tugging and eliciting a gasp from her, Seraphina was inching her fingers up his thigh. When she found his erection, she timidly stroked it through his board shorts before gaining courage to work her hand into his shorts and take him in hand.
Nathan groaned, arching into her palm. Then he pressed her back and pulled her to her side so they both had easier access to each other. With the blanket again adjusted to cover them from prying eyes, he kissed her while slipping a hand down the front of her bikini bottoms, finding her slit then making his way down until he slipped a finger inside her.
“Nathan,” Seraphina panted, breaking away from their kiss to look around, nervous that people would know exactly what they were doing. Conversely, she still had him gripped in her hand.
“Don’t care,” Nathan panted back, kissing down her chin. “I want you so bad.” And he did. His hips were straining toward her.
Assured that no one was paying attention to them and seeing that other couples appeared to be doing the same, Seraphina released all inhibitions and moving against his fingers. It felt too good to care about anything else. The sensations took her to another plane, one where no one else belonged but him and her.
After a few minutes of heavy kissing and petting, he felt her loosen the string on his shorts, and then she pulled him out. When she wrapped her hand around him again, he about lost it. He kissed her deeper while moving his fingers into her harder. Another minute or two and he would explode.
“Let’s go back to the house,” she voiced what he was thinking.
Nathan nodded, slipping his fingers out of her before adjusting his pants and erection. His breaths were coming fast and hard. He had to take deep breaths to calm himself down before getting up. Then he took Seraphina’s hand as he got up, pulling her along with him.
“You want to wrap a blanket around you?” He gestured at her bare legs. She was only wearing bikini bottoms on her lower half, but her upper half was covered in one of his sweaters.
“Nah.” She shook her head. “I should be good.”
After Nathan restocked their alcohol supply, they started picking up the blankets they had brought down, calling out goodbyes to their friends. Then they staggered up the beach toward Nathan’s parents’ house, trying to carry—more like tripping over—their blankets while keeping a grip on the twenty-ounce bottles of Coke that were spiked with rum, having left the rest for their friends to share.
When they got inside the pool house, they dumped everything inside the door, needing to shake out the sand yet not wanting to do it right then. Then Nathan was all over her, kissing her while fumbling to get their clothes off.
Seraphina laughed as they both hopped around, getting tangled up in their clothes, before they finally fell into bed.
After making love, she curled up in his arms, both sweaty, sand still sticking to them. “I dare you to do that to me every day.”
“I dare you to never stop me.”
Seraphina grinned, tucking her head under his chin. “I love you.”
“I’ll never stop.”
She looked up at him. “Promise.”
He hated how she felt the need to ask. He understood, though. There was no one else left for her. All her family was gone.
He angled his head so he could meet her eyes. “Dare me to.”
Seraphina shook her head. “I wouldn’t ask that.”
“You don’t need to. I know it’s true. I just wanted you to have something to feel assured, too.”
When she smiled at him, it took everything in him not to get sappy and spill out every cheesy promise he had bottled up inside.
Not telling her would become one of his biggest regrets.
Instead, he rolled them over and showed her until they fell asleep, holding hands.