John slowed his steps as he and Eric walked through the parking lot of the police precinct. It only took Eric a minute to see what John had spotted. Lucia was getting out of her car and waving at John.

Shit. If she’d come here, she really needed to talk to him. And he was a first-class asshole for not calling her back.

“Meet you inside,” John said, giving Eric a nod in response to his partner’s questioning look. No, he didn’t need backup to talk to his ex-wife.

John changed direction, heading for Lucia. She stood behind her car door, half in and half out of the car.

He gave a small wave and a smile, starting to prepare his “I’m a dick” speech, when he saw it.

John froze. He might need backup after all.

He stood stock still, staring at his ex-wife’s stomach. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel the sting of tears behind his eyes.

“I’ve been trying to reach you. I didn’t want you to find out at the wedding.” Lucia laid a hand on her stomach. She had to be six or seven months along. Well into the safety zone for most pregnancies.

Probably safe, even for her. All of their miscarriages had happened before the twenty-week mark.

John didn’t have words.

The silence hung between them for a long time before he broke it and walked forward, pulling her into a hug.

“Jesus, Lucia. God, this is amazing. It’s great.” He meant it. He wanted this for her, even as the ache of what this meant hit him.

When they weren’t able to conceive, the doctor had said there was no reason for it. Unspecified infertility they called it.

But if she was standing here pregnant before him …

She took his hands. “Can we talk?”

She tilted her head toward the car.

John nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Uh, sure.”

When they were settled in the car, she looked over at him, taking his hand again. The ache of the failure of their marriage hit him again. He was past the heartache of lost love, but somehow that sense of failing her loomed.

She rubbed his hand with her thumb, a gesture he’d grown accustomed to during their marriage. It was how she soothed. She wanted to soothe the hurt now.

“I need to tell you something, John.” She seemed to rush the words. “Carlos and I saw a new doctor, and this one took the time to explain some things to me.”

He didn’t know why she was telling him this. He knew Carlos had the kind of money that meant he could take her to as many fertility doctors as they needed. John, on the other hand, had had to scrimp and save for the in vitro rounds they’d done. And for the last of them, he’d had to borrow the money from his dad.

“John, you need to listen to me.”

He focused on her again. He owed her that much, no matter how much he didn’t want to hear this.

“This doctor explained some things our other doctor never did. Did you know that a diagnosis of unexplained infertility is a good thing?”

John reared back like he’d been kicked in the gut. How could she possibly be saying what they’d gone through was a good thing?

She put her hand up. “I don’t mean it like that. But what that means is that they never found anything wrong with either of us. None of the doctors we saw ever really explained it that way. They always said they couldn’t pinpoint a cause.”

John let out a slow breath as she kept talking.

“The doctor Carlos and I are seeing said she would have kept working with us, kept trying things to support fertility. She was so angry when I said the clinic you and I were working with told us they couldn’t help us anymore.”

John put the heels of his hands over his eyes and pressed, holding the steady pressure on them as he tried to process what she was saying.

“John,” Lucia pulled one hand away from his face. “She’s saying it’s very possible there isn’t anything wrong with either you or me. It’s possible you could have kids someday, just like Carlos and I.”

John didn’t know how he felt about that. He felt like he’d been hit square in the chest with a sledgehammer. He was happy for Lucia and Carlos. Lucia would make a wonderful mother.

His thoughts strayed to Ava, and he felt a small flare of hope that he could give her a future. That he could share a future with her. He doused it quickly. It didn’t matter what Lucia’s doctor said. He had failed Lucia. He had failed them both. When she’d wanted to keep trying to have a baby, he had begged her to stop. He hadn’t been able to go through it anymore.

When that didn’t work, he’d ordered her to stop. Said he wouldn’t be a part of trying anymore. He’d actually stopped sleeping in their bed. He wouldn’t make love to her. He’d turned her away, even when he heard her crying in their bedroom as he slept on the couch. A husband like that doesn’t need to be trying over with another woman anytime soon. Bad enough he’d put one woman through that hell.

John reached for the door handle, afraid if he sat there any longer, he’d break. He’d never been very good at talking about his feelings, and he sure as hell didn’t know how to put what he was feeling into words.

“I have to run, Luce.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, ignoring the worried look on her face as she watched him.

“I’ll see you at the wedding?”

John grinned, putting the small bit of acting ability he had in him into the gesture. “Absolutely. I’ll be there.”

“You can bring her,” she said, as he stepped from the car.

“What?” John asked, leaning back in.

“The woman. Whoever it was that you thought of when I mentioned a baby. Bring her with you. I want to meet her.”

John started to argue, but she waved him off.

“Women know these things, John. I saw the look in your eye. Your head went to someone important. I hope things work for you and her. If anyone deserves to be happy, John, you do.”

His head was still wrestling with those words as she drove away.