Kade

I was one hundred percent sure the bullet had gone clean through my shoulder. I’d had bullets hit bone before, and it was worse than this. I knew Mama Bear could probably patch this up with the stuff in her kitchen.

But I had killed Talon. He was an officer for The Hawks. This was going to leave a mark on the entire club.

I walked over to where Maddox had Harlow. She looked as shaken as I’d expected. Her skin was white and I could see fresh bruises forming along her jaw. I wanted to kill Talon again.

“Thanks, Brother,” I said and Maddox nodded. He’d helped me save Harlow and it was another thing on the list that bonded me to him and The Saints.

“Yep, Chase sent us out on these relics as soon as you called.”

Maddox patted the seat of the vintage Harley. Chase had said most of the bikes had been destroyed in a Hawk firebomb, but they hadn’t banked on the vintage bikes that E.Z. and Bear liked to restore.

“They’re a thing of beauty. Better not get a scratch on ‘em.”

“Not a chance. I’m going to leave you here with Kade, that okay, Curly?”

Harlow nodded at Maddox.

“We’ve got a lot more than scratched bikes to deal with,” I said, noticing that, of the ten Hawks we’d faced, at least three were dead. The others? They were running back to Texas, most likely to make sure everyone knew what had happened here. It was a mess, and our long-running fight with the Hawks was finally going to come home to roost.

“Yeah, Bear’s gonna lose his shit.”

Maddox was right and I wasn’t looking forward to the blowback I’d face. This could look like a disaster that I was responsible for creating.

“We have a lot to deal with in Church,” I said. I hoped I had time to tell my side of the last few days. Maddox smiled at Harlow and again I was overwhelmed with relief that they’d made it here in time.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat though, Curly. Nice to meet you. Good job catching my sign language.” And Maddox turned to help deal with the mess left behind. The Saints would make quick work of this scene. We knew how to clean up.

“Are you okay?” Harlow said and put a hand out to my shoulder. She focused on the blood that had spread across my t-shirt. I’m sure it looked worse than it was.

“Oh, this? For sure, went straight through.”

“I have first aid in the truck.”

“Why don’t you wait a minute before you go back there. We’ll get that truck cleaned out.”

“The guns?”

“Yep, The Saints will take those off your hands.”

The Saints had come prepared. This truck, Harlow, and her dogs had paid too much of a price. I was ashamed that every detail of this job had blown up in Harlow’s face. Since the second they put the guns in her truck, this job had been off course.

I wished I could go back and change that moment those guns were hidden in her truck, except then I’d never have met Harlow.

“What will happen?”

I watched Harlow’s eyes as she processed yet another strange scene. It had been one after another since the moment I had spotted her in the diner.

I wrapped my arms around Harlow and for a second I felt her body stiffen. When I thought about what she’d seen the last through days, what she’d survived, especially after learning her history, I felt like garbage. She was raised with violence and we’d made that look pale by comparison.

But then she softened. I felt her body sink into mine. I wanted to shield her and I’d failed. I vowed never to fail at that task again. It was a mission, a new mission: one that I didn’t know I wanted two days ago.

The thought of what could have happened at Talon’s hands flashed in my brain. I had spent the last few years working on my anger issues, my temper, but today’s violence against Talon? I didn’t regret it a stroke.

No one was going to mess with Harlow again if I could help it. If they did, they’d get what Talon got. Or worse.

“I love you, Harlow. I’m so sorry about all this. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”

“It’s not all your fault. Rudy set me up, let’s not forget that.” There was a hurt in her voice and a hardness. Was it directed at me? Or was that for Rudy? Or was it just the product of being in my world, seeing what it could mean.

“Yeah, turns out Bear, my Prez, paid him, and so did The Hawks.”

“Asshole,” she said and I felt her pull away.

“Me or him?” I asked her, though I didn’t want to hear the answer.

“You’re not an asshole, Kade. But you’re too much for me.”

I knew where she was going with this. I knew it from her eyes and the way her body was closing off from mine. I knew, but it didn’t make it any less harsh.

“Your life is too dangerous. I know you took a bullet for me today, and I’m… I don’t even know what to think about that.”

“It was a bullet you wouldn’t have been in line for if it wasn’t for me.”

She nodded, but with every second she was taking steps down some path away from me.

“Yeah, that’s right. I can’t do this. I need my truck, my puppies, my life back. I lived with violence once. I’m not cut out for it.”

Harlow looked away from me and I wanted to grab her and kiss her. I wanted to wash away the doubts she had about us.

But everything she said was completely right. I had put her in danger, so had my club. Whether we meant to be or not, we were violent men in a bloody line of work.

How could I ask Harlow to stay anywhere near that?

How could I ask any woman?

I felt a tear worse than the bullet going through my shoulder; it was in my heart. And I knew Mama Bear wasn’t going to be able to fix it. This was brutal.

But it was right. I wasn’t going to try to stop this instinct that Harlow had to run from me. She should run. I needed to let her go.

“I’m going to get my new puppies on my own and I think that’s it,” Harlow said, holding her own arms.

“I need to see you safely out of Mexico and back home.”

“Can Maddox do it? I don’t think I should be near you.”

The tear in my heart got more jagged. This was going to be harder than I thought.

“Sure, that’s probably for the best. I’ve got guns to deliver.”

I wanted to grab her and tell her she was mine. I knew I was hers, even if I never looked at her face again.

I did none of those things. I willed my body to be stone cold. I would let her think I had a hard heart. I hadn’t made anything easy for her since we met, so at least I could make leaving me easier. I stood up straighter and stopped staring at her like I was one of her lost puppies.

“Yep.”

Harlow ran her hands through that curly hair and I saw her get stronger. I saw something heal in her. The woman was resilient. It was how she had survived her father.

I loved that about her but I knew what she was getting over right now was any feelings she had for me.

“Thanks for the adventure though. You’re good with dogs, you should get one someday.” And with that, she left me at Maddox’s bike and walked back to her truck.

I saw her talk to Benz and Axle and look around her rig to be sure it was up to snuff. She’d have to drive it with no front window but they’d cleaned up the glass. She did her own safety checks, too. She was a good driver. As long as bullets weren’t flying, she could handle herself. And I was the only reason bullets were flying these last few days.

I watched her every move. She was spectacular and focused. I even saw the edges of a smile at Maddox as she climbed into the rig. I was instantly jealous. I wasn’t going to be on the receiving end of any more smiles from her.

In two days she’d turned my life around. I would never be the same. But Harlow was going to be fine, just fine, without me.

I was not.

My mission was to protect her, and that meant letting her go.