Chapter 10
Harley
The next morning when I arrived at the clubhouse after dropping Amanda off at the daycare, Caesar and some of the guys were there already. It seemed like they hadn’t left this place at all.
I walked in and saw all the bottles everywhere, cigarette butts strewn all over the floor. Some of them were passed out on tables, while Caesar and some of the others were sitting around, still drinking.
They were drunk. Caesar’s eyes were bloodshot red and scary.
But this morning I had woken up with a conviction. While Amanda slept, I had spent the whole of last night thinking about Dash. The least these people could do for him was give him three meals a day and enough water to drink. It was basic human decency.
I didn’t want to think about what would happen to him in a few days.
I went to the backroom and picked up a broom and the other pointless cleaning material.
When I walked back into the bar, most of the other guys had passed out. Only Caesar seemed to be awake, lighting himself his hundredth cigarette. He blew a cloud of smoke in my direction when I stepped up close to him.
“I have a suggestion to make,” I said, looking him squarely in the eye. Caesar drew in a mouthful of smoke and narrowed his eyes at me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had spoken this way to him.
It had taken him by surprise too. He was drunk and looked beat.
“What the fuck you talkin’ about?” he asked, tapping ash on the floor that I would have to clean up.
“That guy in the cellar. Your guest…” I started to say and he jumped out of his chair and loomed threateningly over me. I wasn’t supposed to raise the subject of the guest. Who was I to even mention him aloud?
“What did you just say, bitch?” he growled, widening his eyes angrily at me.
“I just had a suggestion regarding him, the prisoner,” I said, trying to hold myself together, and not let my voice waver. I was sick of appearing weak.
“You have a suggestion? Since when do you get to say anything?” he continued to growl.
“He needs to eat. Three meals a day, and water,” I added.
The slap came out of nowhere, Caesar’s hand struck across my left cheek and I gasped. A few of the guys around us stirred and woke up from the cracking sound, and then went back to sleep again.
“How the fuck do you think you can talk to me like that? You forget about your kid or something?” he raged.
I tried not to rub the redness on my cheek, where the skin was still stinging. I fought the tears welling up in my eyes and looked down at my feet.
“You want to keep him alive? You will have to feed him. He’s a big man. He needs more than a small sandwich a day,” I continued. I wasn’t about to give up this easily. Caesar had slapped me enough times already for it to mean anything to me. I was used to them. That was my life.
After he was done slapping me, Caesar glared at me, expecting me to back down. But I didn’t. I couldn’t glare back at him, but I didn’t walk away either.
“Three square meals a day?” he asked and I finally met his eyes again.
“I’m not sure who he is, but he seems important to you and the club. Looks like you want to keep him alive,” I said meekly.
I watched as Caesar clenched his jaws.
“Fine. Whatever. Fuck off. Tell Carlos I’ve given you my orders,” he growled and slumped exhaustedly into a chair beside him.
I dropped my cleaning things and ran to the kitchen at the back. There wasn’t much in terms of a deserving breakfast, but there was milk in the fridge and enough ingredients to make him another peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I made two of them, poured milk in a glass and took some water with me on a tray and headed to the cellar. Carlos was barely awake when I got there. I told him what Caesar had said and he believed me. He knew I wouldn’t have the guts to make up something like that. Besides, what vested interest could I have in this prisoner?
He opened the door for me and I stepped in.
Even though it was early morning and the sun was shining brightly outside, in here it looked dark and depressing. Dash was sitting on the ground, his hands attached to the pipe. He blinked his eyes open when he saw me walking in.
I saw how his eyes brightened up. Was he as excited to see me as I was to see him?
“You’re like an angel from Heaven,” he commented and I blushed. Why was it that all he had to do was look at me and it made me blush?
I set the tray of food down on the floor beside him.
“I bet you’re hungry,” I said and he straightened himself up.
“Not hungry anymore, now that you’re here,” he said. I couldn’t tell if he was just teasing me or this was how he spoke to all women he met.
I started feeding him the sandwich and once again he said how this was the best peanut butter sandwich he’d ever tried. I rolled my eyes at that and he smirked.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I bet that’s what you say to all the girls?”
“Yeah, all the girls who bring me food in a dungeon,” he added and we couldn’t help it; we smiled at each other.
Dash continued to eat and we talked little. I gave him the milk and the water, and by the time he was done eating—he finally looked satisfied.
I didn’t want to spend any more time here than necessary. I didn’t want to do something that would upset Caesar or Carlos that would stop me from coming here and feeding him.
I was quickly getting up to go and Dash leaned towards me.
“What’s that? On your face?” he asked.
For a moment I was confused and then I realized what he was talking about.
“Did someone hit you?” he asked and I stood up, picking up the tray off the floor.
“Harley?” he asked, his voice was stern. He sounded upset. I didn’t realize my cheek was still red from the slap.
“I should go. I’ll try and bring you some lunch later,” I told him. Dash said nothing more and I walked back to the door. I knocked twice and Carlos opened it for me.
“Hope you’re not wasting the good stuff on him,” he said, peering into the room behind me.
“What good stuff?” I mumbled to myself as I walked away.
***
I returned in the afternoon with a bigger sandwich, this time made of shredded chicken and mayo. I even had some fries on the side which I’d specially prepared for him, most of which the other guys had eaten already. I didn’t take my lunch today as I usually did and saved as much food as I could for Dash.
He looked up at me when I returned this time.
“What’s on the menu?” he asked in a cheerful voice as I put the tray down. I told him, just as cheerfully. It was amazing how he could still be in a relatively good mood. Despite what was happening to him.
He was a strong and brave man, and I wished that Amanda could have a father figure like him in her life. I blushed at that thought as I started to feed him.
“I know you don’t like to talk much, but here’s a question for you. What are you doing here, Harley?”
He’d stumped me. I wasn’t expecting that from him. I didn’t meet his eyes and continued to feed him instead.
“Should I take it as a -no comment?” he said and I looked down to the floor to avoid looking at him.
“Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but maybe eventually you will? I don’t want to hurt you in any way, Harley. You just seem like you need help. This is the last place on Earth you should be.”
Didn’t I know that already!
I smiled weakly at him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked and he arched his brows.
He let out a laugh.
“Well?” I asked, giving him a sip of water.
“I belong to a rival MC. These guys want something from my club and because they’re pussies and know they’ll get their panties torn in an actual fight—they decided to kidnap and imprison me instead, and use me as leverage,” he said.
I gulped. It sounded serious, even though Dash was trying to be light hearted about it.
“Do you think your club is going to come for you?” I asked.
Dash took in a deep breath.
“My brothers are the kind of people who would do anything for their own. Even if they have to give up their territory for it. That is what I’m most afraid of,” he replied.
I gulped. I didn’t know what that felt like, to have that kind of loyalty. To know that there were a group of people out there who had my back. Who were doing everything they could to rescue me.
I looked away from him and he might have noticed the sadness in my eyes.
“I don’t want to push you to say anything you don’t want to say. You’re doing the right thing by not trusting me. You shouldn’t be trusting anyone in here.”
For some reason, I did trust him. I didn’t know how to explain it, and neither was I willing to admit it to him. Maybe I trusted him because there was nobody else who looked at me like that. Like I was worth anything.
Dash finished eating the sandwich and the water and I stood up to leave.
“You visiting me here is the only silver lining in all this. I look forward to seeing you again every time you leave,” he said.
I could feel electric currents shooting up and down my spine. Why was I feeling this way? Like there were butterflies in my stomach.
“I’ll be back with your dinner soon,” was all I could say to him. Then I left.
***
I was supposed to leave for my shift at the bar soon, but before I left, I wanted to take Dash his meal for the night. The men were all out there, drinking again, fighting and playing pool. It was the same story every night. They disgusted me.
I was in the kitchen, cooking for all of them. But the only thing keeping me going was the knowledge that some of it was going to be eaten by Dash.
I bit down on my lip as I thought about him. Those brown eyes, those chiseled jaws. Did he really like me or was it an act? How could I trust him when I didn’t know anything about him?
“Smells nice!” I heard Caesar’s voice behind me and I froze up. I hadn’t heard him come in. He had a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other and he walked over to me, swaying a little on his feet already.
Before I could move away from me, he had an arm around my waist and he smacked my butt hard. I nearly toppled over but he was holding me close to himself, keeping me pinned to his chest.
“Watcha cookin’ hotstuff?” he snarled in my ear. The stench of his mouth was sickening. He felt cold against my body and I could feel his cock moving in his pants.
“Chicken,” I replied.
“Chicken.” He repeated, trying to mimic my voice and he nibbled at my earlobe.
I knew what I should have done. Merely ignored him or stood there and dealt with his behavior, but instead, I tried to push him away.
It was a hard push, enough to make Caesar stoop backwards. I knew it the moment I did it that there were going to be consequences.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he growled and he came at me.
I squealed as he slapped me across my face. He hit me with so much force that I landed with a thud against one of the counters. The edge caught my forehead, slicing it open. I could feel blood dripping from the wound before I’d managed to even straighten up.
“You think you’re too good for me?” he hissed, coming up to me again. I cried out as he caught the collar of my denim jacket and scooped me up.
“Have you forgotten who you are, bitch?”
I could say nothing. I just kept my eyes down, my body shaking in fear.
“I own you. This MC owns you. As long as you want that kid to live with you, you will do what I say.”
He released me and I tumbled down to the floor. My eyes were filled up with tears but I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t show him my weakness.
“Clean yourself up before you start dripping on the floor. Then go give that dog his food before he dies on us!”
Caesar took a swig of his drink and then swaying on his feet again, he turned and walked out of the kitchen.
I covered my face with my hands and wept as I sat there on the floor. How was I ever going to get out of this? What could I do to take Amanda out of danger? As long as I was associated with this club, our lives were always going to be on the line. Where could we go? Who could I turn to for help?
I had no family. I had no friends. I had nobody.
I went to the bathroom, which I tried to keep clean as much as possible but it still stank and was dirty. I always kept a small first aid kit for myself in one of the cupboards because I needed it often.
I washed my face and dried it with a paper towel. The wound on my forehead wasn’t anything serious. Nothing a band-aid couldn’t solve. At least it stopped bleeding.
Then I returned to the kitchen. There was chicken and some rice and fries. I hoped Dash liked the meal, and the thought brought a smile to my lips again. What happened with Caesar was normal for me. I would forget about it in a few hours and move on.
As long as Amanda was safe, nothing else mattered.
I went to the cellar because Dash was the perfect distraction.
***
I didn’t know why I was so relieved to see Dash again. He smiled at me when Carlos let me in.
“Smells great. You spoil me!” he said and I couldn’t help but grin. His good spirit was infectious. I put the tray down and got ready to sit down on the floor with him but Dash crossed his brows.
“What is that?” he growled. He was looking at the band aid on my forehead and there was a darkness in his eyes now.
“How did you get that?” he insisted and I sat down.
“There’s chicken and rice tonight,” I said, trying to change the subject but he was glaring at me now. I saw him pull his hands, trying to tug away from the pipe. It ached my heart to see a man like him locked up.
“Who did this to you? Give me the name?” he growled.
“Nothing happened.”
“I can see something did!”
“We don’t need to talk about it.”
“I want to know what happened!” His shoulders were heaving and he was staring at me from under his heavy lids. I gulped and twisted my fingers together on my lap.
“Caesar,” I said.
A look of realization passed over his eyes. He clenched his jaws.
“Why?”
“It’s not important.”
“Tell me why!”
“He was throwing himself at me. Trying to feel me up and I protested,” I replied in a meek voice.
“Motherfucker!” he growled and tugged his hand again and it made a clanking sound.
“Dash, please! I don’t want them to come in here right now,” I said in a whisper and he seemed to calm himself down.
“Why are you still here, Harley? Why don’t you go away? Why do you let him do this to you?”
Dash was searching my eyes. I could barely look at him. Could I trust him with my story? I hadn’t spoken about it with anyone.
“Because I have a daughter. She’s seven years old. Her name is Amanda,” I said.
Dash fell silent. He looked confused for a second.
“Okay, but why are you still here?”
“Because Caesar and the rest of the club know about her and use her to keep me here. They say that if I disobey them or try to run away, they’ll take her away from me.”
Dash was gritting his teeth with anger.
“She’s his. Caesar’s. I was young and foolish and fell for him a long time ago. When I didn’t know any better. He never wanted her. He’s seen her twice in his life. He doesn’t care about her. I know if he gets his hands on her he’ll hurt her.”
The tears were bubbling up now and I couldn’t control them anymore. I had tried to be strong and silent for so long, but now, as I spoke to Dash—I felt like I couldn’t be either anymore.
“They’ll hurt her if I do anything. I can’t leave. I can never leave. I love my daughter too much,” I said while I wept.
***
I gathered myself quickly because of the way Dash was looking at me. He was looking at me like he wanted to kiss me. And I wanted to kiss him. I was tempted to reach for him, for his face, feel the roughness of his stubbled cheeks, his lips underneath my fingertips.
I couldn’t remember the last time a man had ignited feelings such as these in me. He was more than just a hot guy, he was someone I could rely on. But why? Why was I feeling that way?
I rubbed the tears off my face and spooned some food and held it out to him.
“You should eat because I have to leave soon. Carlos times me outside,” I said in a weak voice.
Dash ate the food, but he kept his eyes focused on me.
“How long has this been going on?” he asked in a growl. I scooped some more food and held it out to him.
“Harley! Talk to me!”
“Since Amanda’s birth. For the past seven years. But he never treated me right, not even in the beginning. I was foolish. I left home because I wanted independence and I thought Caesar would give it to me,” I replied.
He ate in silence for some time after that. I gave him the water which he drank as well, and the whole time, his dark eyes remained on me. He was watching my every move.
“You deserve more than this, Harley. Much more. I want you to never forget that.”
I collected the tray and the plastic cup and stood up.
“You’re very kind to me, Dash, thank you,” I whispered and tucked some hair behind my ear.
“I want to be more than just kind to you, Harley. I want to find a way to take you away from this place. Get you out of his control,” he said.
He was serious. His face was as dark as a thunderstorm and he had his jaws clenched.
I smiled weakly at him and nodded.
“I mean it, Harley. I’m going to find a way to get you out,” he continued and I nodded again.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I whispered and I made my way to the door. Before I knocked I looked over my shoulder at him. He was staring at me, watching me leave and my heart ached. I didn’t want to imagine how he was suffering. How he was hurting. How much pain he was in. He needed medical attention, he needed to get those wounds looked at.
Carlos opened up and I stepped out.
“Does he say anything to you?” he asked me as I was walking away.
“No,” I lied and he rolled his eyes. Maybe he believed me or maybe he didn’t.
I walked back to the kitchen and washed up the tray. Dash wanted to take me away from here but I knew that wouldn’t be possible. That would never happen. For as long as I lived, I would remain a slave to Caesar and his friends.