A guard snapped to attention outside of the queen’s quarters. He opened the door and announced my presence.

Then I stood trembling in a huge parlor that looked like the inside of a cathedral. Every surface was covered in porcelain, marble, and gold. But nothing in the room was anywhere near as impressive or intimidating as the woman in the elaborately embroidered gown. She wore royal blue, which seemed fitting. Heavy folds of material draped gracefully over her slender form. A tiara sat atop her brown curls, making the armchair she was sitting in look like a throne.

“Sit down and have some tea.”

It took real effort to propel my feet to move toward her. Step by step, I made my way around the coffee table to the sofa opposite her. As soon as I sat, I felt at an even bigger disadvantage. The sofa was far lower than the queen’s chair.

With an imperial gesture, the queen indicated the exquisite tea set on a tray in front of me. She already had a cup on a small table next to her. “Thank you, Your Majesty, but I’m not thirsty.” Even if I had been, I wouldn’t have partaken. The tea would’ve sloshed right out of the cup due to the shaking of my hands.

“Have some tea.”

Her tone left no doubt of what I should have realized before. It wasn’t an offer, it was a royal command. Hastily, I picked up the delicate china cup and sipped the scalding hot liquid. My eyes watered as I said, “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

I wasn’t sure what to do after that. There were some cookies on the tray, including my favorite from the kitchens. Awkwardly, I picked one up, but my mouth was too dry to take a bite.

The queen seemed prepared to stay silent and stare at me coolly for quite some time. I wracked my brain for something to say, but I came up blank.

After what felt like hours, she finally spoke. “It’s obvious that something happened between you and my son in London.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” I said, surprised both that she knew and that she would bring it up.

The queen waited, staring at me.

Oh god, she wanted me to elaborate. But what could I possibly say? Even it if were easily explained, it was between me and Nico. It wasn’t any of her business but I knew I couldn’t phrase it that way. “Umm… that’s a private matter that concerns only the two of us.”

“It concerns me that my son is miserable,” the queen snapped.

I stared at her, a little surprised that she’d picked up on that. She didn’t seem very involved in Nico or the twins’ lives.

She seemed to read my thoughts which was more than a little disturbing. “Do you think I don’t know my own child?”

Unsure what to say, I shook my head, trying to keep the teacup in my hands from trembling.

She shot me a superior look. “He’s my son. I know what’s in his mind and in his heart. Why do you think I sent him to school in America all those years ago? I knew that’s what he needed. If he’d been cooped up here for decades, he would’ve grown to resent this place and his birthright. Instead, I let him experience what else was out there. For half a year he could be a normal young man in the States. For the other half of the year, he could learn about his heritage and his responsibilities. He cares about Falkenberg and its people precisely because I sent him away. Do you think it was easy for me?”

“No, Your Majesty.” Though shocked by the fact that she was sharing, I felt the sincerity of her words. She probably had done what she thought was best for Nico. But I still didn’t know why she was telling me all this.

The queen was silent for a long time before she spoke again. “It’s recently come to my attention that I don’t know my grandchildren as well. And it’s also come to my attention that you do.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

The queen looked at her own teacup, and for a moment, she looked like any other concerned grandmother. “I… regret the way I compared Elyse to her mother. I see now that it upset her, but at the time, I meant it as a compliment.”

“I know that, Your Majesty.”

“But she doesn’t. And she seems to feel that I’ve broken her trust by reprimanding you.”

The queen’s tone on that last word was not the warmest ever, but because she was a grandparent reaching out, I answered kindly. “I’m sure the children would like to have a better relationship with you, Your Majesty.”

“As would I,” she said. “But I’m not sure how. Somewhat against the odds, you have developed a good relationship with them and I ask your advice.”

Shock flitted through me, but then I pulled myself together. I was flattered that she’d asked my advice, but more importantly, this could be very good for the twins if I could help facilitate a healthy relationship with their grandmother. They only had one parent—they needed all the family they could get.

Gently, I guided the conversation, telling the queen what Derrick’s and Elyse’s interests were. After a lengthy discussion, we decided that two afternoons a week, the children would bring books up here and have a reading hour. Gretchen could provide snacks, and the queen could ask the children questions about their books while they ate.

“And that’s it?” she inquired.

“It’s best to start slow, Your Majesty. When I first arrived, the twins wouldn’t even talk to me. Just start with a reading hour and build from there.”

“How?”

“Might I suggest a jigsaw puzzle? It’s something the three of you can do together.”

“A puzzle? I’m the head of an entire nation and you’re suggesting I put together a puzzle?”

“It’s a staple of grandparents everywhere,” I said. For once I wasn’t angry with her. She really was trying. Derrick and Elyse were important to her. “If you’d like, I could order one for you.”

“That won’t be necessary. I’ll have my secretary procure one.” She was silent for a minute, staring at the antique tea set on the table in front of us.

Was she done? Was I dismissed from this terrifying-yet-somewhat-enlightening royal summons? “Is there anything else, Your Majesty?”

“That’s all,” she said, but before I could get to my feet, she spoke again. “Actually, there is something. Would it be possible for me to get a copy of those books you made for the twins?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” The smile on my face was genuine rather than nervous now. Though I still wasn’t her biggest fan, her affection for Derrick and Elyse was apparent. “I’ll get on that right away.”

I rose, gave a curtsy, and turned to leave.

“Miss Andrews, wait.”

That was the first time she’d called me anything other than you. “Yes, Your Majesty?”

With a regal flick of her hand, she waved me back toward the sofa. I sat down again.

“Since you’ve helped me with my grandchildren, I thought I might offer you a word of advice about my son.”

I held my breath, wondering what she would say.

“He blames himself for Lisette’s death. I would suspect that he’s unwilling to ever put himself in the position where he might harm someone he… cares about again.”

I’d already figured that out, but it was good to hear confirmation. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I suspected as much, and I hoped that I could help him get past the guilt he feels. It wasn’t his fault what happened. If he could just see that, then maybe—”

The queen held up her hand, stopping me. “It’s not that simple. His guilt runs deeper than that.” She let out a small sigh. “You see… the accident that took his wife was his fault. In a way.”

I stared at her, astonished. How could she say that about her own son? The thought of Nico actually being responsible was sickening. How could she say such a thing?

“Perhaps I should rephrase. Nickolaus may have inadvertently brought this on himself. He invited the photographers on the boat that day.”

My mind went blank as I tried to gather my thoughts. She had to be lying, right? “He hates the paparazzi.”

“He hates them now,” she said. “But at the university when he first came to their attention, he found it rather amusing. He didn’t mind their taking photographs. He joked and talked with them. Back then, he wasn’t the man he is today. You met that friend of his a few months ago… those kinds of people were a bad influence on Nico.”

In spite of myself, the news that the queen didn’t like Blake either made me feel in better company.

“I told him not to engage with the press,” the queen said, switching her anger back to the paparazzi. “But he thought they were harmless. Then he got married.” The queen paused, lost in memory. “Lisette was such a dear girl. So young and naïve. I told Nickolaus to look out for her while she was at school there. I didn’t know he was going to fall in love with her.”

I held my breath, not sure what to say. I had no idea why the queen was sharing all this with me, but it was clear she knew her son better than I thought.

“Lisette didn’t like having the photographers around, but she worshipped Nickolaus, so she put up with it. For his part… I don’t think he realized how much it bothered her. It was different for him—he’s a man. But poor Lisette, they published a picture of her on the boat in her bathing suit and she was mortified. Nickolaus spoke to them about it, but I don’t believe he truly understood her concern.”

Maybe Nico hadn’t understood, but I did. Lady Lisette must’ve been in a very hard position if Nico really had embraced their presence. Had he really not seen the danger until it was too late? “Did he… did he really invite the paparazzi onto his boat the night of the accident?”

“Yes.” The queen sighed heavily. “But only a few whom he considered friends. They still took pictures when they were around, but not of anything the prince deemed off limits, such as Lisette and the children. Nickolaus treated them like guests.”

I sat, trembling, afraid to hear what the monarch had to say next, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “And the other boat?”

“He didn’t invite them. We think now that one of the photographers who was invited tipped them off. One of those horrid men on the second boat had made a lot of money off that picture of Lisette and likely thought that they could sell more intimate pictures like that.”

The queen’s eyes were distant, as if seeing that night on the other side of the world. “Nickolaus feels that if he hadn’t tolerated the paparazzi, if he hadn’t befriended some of them, then Lisette would still be alive.”

“But that still wasn’t his fault,” I protested. “He didn’t know the other boat would be there.” My heart went out to Nico—that was such a terrible burden to bear.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” the queen said sharply. “Nor what I think. What matters is what he thinks. Nickolaus thinks he’s the reason Lisette lost her life and the children don’t have a mother. And now I suspect he fears that something might happen to you.”

“Me?”

“You were injured in London. My guess is that my son fears that history will repeat itself. That’s why he’s closed himself off to you.”

“That’s not why!” The queen’s hypocrisy made my blood boil. “It’s because of you! You’re the one who won’t let him marry an American.”

The queen stared at me, astonished. Perhaps no one ever raised their voice to her? And now I’d done it twice in my time here—yet I couldn’t stop. “I understand your feelings about my country, but it’s his life. He should be able to marry whoever he wants.”

In frustration, I stood and paced in front of the sofa. “You’re the most powerful person in this entire nation. You shouldn’t use your powers to control him like that.”

“I don’t,” the queen said simply. “I never told him he couldn’t marry an American.”

“When you issue decrees like that, you—wait, what?”

The queen’s face showed consternation. “It wouldn’t be my first choice, of course, but I never forbid it.”

The look on her face made me almost believe it. “But… but he said that in England, the queen had to approve her grandsons’ recent marriages.”

“That’s England,” the queen said with the dismissive wave of her hand. “They also think it’s appropriate to decorate their castle with corgis.”

“It’s—it’s really not forbidden?” Excitement coursed through me and I wanted to run and find Nico right that instant.

“No, it’s not. But just because something is not forbidden doesn’t make it a good idea,” the queen cautioned, some of the haughtiness returning to her voice.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” I said automatically.

“That is all,” she said somewhat condescendingly, but I didn’t care. She could’ve insulted me to my face right now and I wouldn’t have minded in light of this good news.

I rushed out of her quarters, ignoring the stuffy guard at the door. All I wanted to do was to find Nico. We needed to talk this through. Whatever was holding him back, we would work to get past it. Now that we knew that his mother wouldn’t object, anything seemed possible.

My feet practically skipped down the hall. I couldn’t wait to tell him what she said. But then I missed a step, some small warning issuing in the back of my head. I skidded to a halt. Something wasn’t right.

I stood there in the empty hallway for a minute and then two, trying to figure it out. And then it hit me. With a shaky hand, I reached for the stone wall next to me for support as the implications flooded my mind.

There wasn’t anything to tell Nico because he already knew. His mother had never forbidden him from marrying an American. He’d made that up as an excuse to keep me at arm’s length.

Suddenly, I could see it in my mind’s eye when he told me that. How he’d seemed to hesitate before telling me that lie. But he’d done it. He’d chosen to tell me that.

Why had he done that?

But I already knew. Slowly, I sank to the ground, coming to rest on the hard, cold floor. He told me there was no possible future because he knew there wasn’t one. He’d blamed it on his mother, but it wasn’t her, it was him.

Nico wasn’t willing to give us a chance. He wasn’t willing to try to work it out. He’d made up his mind and told me, plain as day, that it could never be. He’d lied about the source of that resolve, but it was true nonetheless.

Tears poured down my face as I shivered on the floor, feeling small and lost. He wasn’t willing to give us a chance. Ever.

That was the bottom line.

Shakily, I stood and made my way to my room. With blind hands, I fumbled for my phone. Heedless of the time difference, I pulled up the number.

When I heard the call connect, I spoke before she could even say hello. “Autumn? I’m coming home.”