I rushed toward the shack. The flames had yet to reach it, but it was only a matter of time. Heat from the fires contrasted the cold from the snow. I didn’t know why I noticed that. I shouldn’t be thinking about anything. Why was it so quiet? Where were the sentries? I did a quick look but didn’t see them. Hopefully they were fighting and not dead. I flinched at the thought.

The door to the shack flung open. Lydia was there. She was shouting something and helping the elderly out the door. I ran up, grabbing the arm of one of the older people and ushering him to Chad. We formed a line of Warriors. I’d thank everyone who was there, later. I’d thank them for the rest of my fucking life.

One by one, we got them out. Lydia stayed by the door, holding it open. I’d tell her later how glad I was she was alive. I’d tell her anything she wanted to know, ever. Lydia’s father came out, holding his wife’s arm. She had Charlie pressed against her. His head popped up. He looked left and right? What was the little guy doing? I rushed toward them, but he managed to throw himself out of his mother’s weak arms and onto the ground. She reached for him and fell, bringing her husband down with her to the snow.

They both reached for Charlie and missed. Lydia hadn’t noticed, she was helping an older woman who was having trouble catching her breath. I couldn’t get there. Before anyone stopped him, Charlie ran back inside the shack.

I was fast on his tail.

“Doggie. Doggie,” he cried out, running through the shack. Shit, he’d done this to get that stupid dog. I scooped him up and turned just in time to see the chairs someone had brought in catch fire.

It didn’t take long for everything to start to burn.

“Doggie,” Charlie called out again.

“I will make you ten more. Ten more. Okay?” He wasn’t getting out of my arms. I rushed the door, getting through it before smoke filled the room.

Lydia flung herself at us. “Where did you go? Charlie?”

Her whole family started talking. I passed Charlie to her and pushed us all away from the flames. Everyone had gotten out. I didn’t know about losses yet. How many of my small band of brave souls had the monsters taken?

We’d beat back the monsters that night. But we’d lost Geronimo in the meantime. Everything was gone. I shook my head. I never could win, not really.

Later, as the sun rose and brought with it more snow, I stood watching the remains of Geronimo sizzle. Lydia hugged my side. I almost jumped when she touched me but restrained the movement.

“You saved us all.”

I rubbed my chin. “Certainly not all. How many?”

“I think there are five gone.” Her voice was low.

I closed my eyes. “Five people and an entire town.”

“The town burning is not your fault.”

I clenched my jaw. “Isn’t it?”

“Don’t mind him.” The voice of Patrick Lyons caught my attention. Micah and Chad’s father was the head of Genesis. He ran everything. He was also a hell of a Warrior. “Warriors, as a rule, think they carry the universe on their shoulders alone. He’s never going to believe you, young lady, that he didn’t kill those five people and burn down your home.”

He extended his hand to Lydia. “Patrick Lyons.”

She shook it. “Lydia Matthis.”

“Deacon, I’m hearing amazing things about you. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

I rolled my eyes. “Who’s lying to you?”

“I love the defense mechanisms on all of you. They’re like mine fields. Come with me. We have decisions to make. You’re making them.”

Patrick was used to being obeyed, and although I always scoffed at authority, I tended to do as he told me. With Lydia’s hand in mine, we walked with Patrick through the snow to a place where a small group had formed. Patrick. Micah. Chad. Rachel. Rachel’s mother—I couldn’t remember her first name. I just called her Mrs. Clancy. She’d been brought back from the dead like Chad—and Glen. Basically, the Lyons family. It was always that way. Why did they want me here for their get-together?

Micah had soot on his face, but he seemed otherwise okay. Chad was upright, still well put together, and didn’t look like he’d fought as hard as he must have with the Vampires after I ran for the flames. Rachel had ripped a hole in her pants. She looked otherwise unhurt. Mrs. Clancy was going to have a black eye. Glen was covered in dirt.

“Everyone, this is my Lydia.” It seemed easier to do it all at once. “Lydia, this is Chad, Rachel, Glen, and Mrs. Clancy. You know Micah.”

Next to me, Lydia was stiff. She’d been okay a second ago. I wasn’t sure what had changed.

Hellos were exchanged before Patrick spoke again. “We’re obviously not leaving these people here, unless they demand to be left. In which case, we’ll come back with the engineers and help them rebuild. What are your thoughts, Deacon?”

All eyes were on me. “What are my thoughts?”

Micah shook his head. “I get you’re hurting. Don’t be too much you in this moment. Please.”

I opened and closed my mouth. The fact he knew I was about to be obnoxious kind of defused the need.

“Two weeks together, and you’re suddenly reading him like a book?” Chad raised his eyebrows. “You lived with me for years and you still can’t figure out when I want to be left alone.”

Micah shook his head. “I can tell perfectly well. I just don’t give a shit.”

“Boys”—Patrick placed his hands out in front of himself as though he was pushing down on the air—“keep it together.”

Rachel looked between them then back at me. “It’s good to see you, Deacon, and great to meet you, Lydia. Don’t mind us. We’re all jacked up after a fight. Most of the time we’re not riding adrenaline.”

Glen laughed. “What, are you kidding? We’re always like this.”

Rachel’s mother added an eye roll. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“If we could get back on track, I asked Deacon for his thoughts,” Patrick stated, turning the attention back on me.

“The journey will be rough, I get it. The people here have nowhere to live while things are rebuilt and they’ll face an endless battle. Genesis is set up for that. You guys have better medical supplies. The people can be absorbed into Genesis. That’s what I think.”

Patrick stayed silent for a second. “Lydia, this is your town, anything to add?”

Her voice was low but firm. “Most people will want to go. I agree with Deacon. It might help if you asked instead of just telling them, and then went with majority rule, which will be to go. It’ll go over better than being ordered around.”

Patrick nodded once. “Done. Of course, they’ll have to get used to following directions at Genesis. We don’t rule by committee. Glen, get on it.”

He touched his chest. “Me?”

“Is there another Glen here?”

His son-in-law didn’t walk but ran to start asking for votes. I shook my head. They never stopped giving Glen shit for getting Tia pregnant, even all these years later. The snow started again. It was my constant torturer. I decided right there and then that I hated being outside.

“Thanks for coming, Patrick.”

He nodded. “I heard you thought we wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, well there are… things.” I was done. Officially. Emotionally. Verbally. Physically. I didn’t want to speak anymore.

Patrick patted my shoulder. “Families fight, Deacon.”

“Speaking of which I don’t suppose mine came?”

He shook his head. “If it means anything, had my father lived through the post-apoc, he wouldn’t have come either. We get to choose what kind of men we want to be. That’s the thing about living. If he’s not what you want, be someone else.”

I looked at Lydia and couldn’t read her thoughts. I wanted to be everything for her. Somehow, I’d have to figure out how to make up for today. Another disgrace on a long list of them.

We started with the sick, elderly, small children, and anyone who couldn’t walk. I had to figure the trip was going to take twice as long as it had taken Micah and me the first time. Trevor ran up, patting me on the back. “Hey.”

I hadn’t seen him since the fight, and I was glad to see he’d come through unscathed. “Your family okay?”

“They are. Thanks to you. I heard you pulled Charlie out of the flames.”

I shook my head. “Very few flames.”

Trevor rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” He walked off. I watched him go. He was helping to get people into the cars. The Warriors would walk, trailing behind the cars, keeping the rest of the population safe. This was going to be quite an undertaking.

Lydia had been silent for so long I wondered if she’d lost the ability to speak. As far as I could figure, she had every right to be upset about a million things.

I nudged her with my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

All right. I nodded.

Well, no, that didn’t feel right. “Want to try again?”

“It’s stupid. We’re dealing with life and death here. Too many things for me to be preoccupied with my thoughts.” She wouldn’t look at me, which I hated so much I wanted to throw something.

“Lydia?” I asked. I wanted an answer. “Spit it out.”

“She’s very striking.”

I looked around. “Who is?”

She squeezed my arm. “Rachel.”

I almost answered her then thought better about making a dismissive response. Rachel. Why hadn’t I considered that Lydia might have problems with Rachel? Well, because Rachel Clancy Lyons no longer preoccupied my thinking. Other than as a friend and fellow Warrior, I’d not given her two seconds of consideration.

I tugged Lydia closer to me. “Is she?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t act like you’re not aware. You were in love with her, right?”

I picked her up. She made a squeaking noise, and I carried her away from the rest of the party, not stopping until I had her secure between the tree and myself. She swallowed. “Lydia, I need your eyes on me, okay? I need it.”

My love met my gaze without hesitation. Okay, I could breathe. I could think. “I never felt for Rachel what I feel for you. Did I think I had feelings for her? Yes. What I know now is that I was enormously grateful to her, alone, and seeking connection. We’re friends. At one point, the best of. That has waned. Maybe it can be rebuilt, maybe it can’t. It was never about what she looked like. For that part, my love for you is not about what you look like. Although, you’re frickin’ gorgeous. Your soul speaks to mine. I can feel you deep inside of me even when you’re not around. If that went away, I’d… be destroyed. I don’t know if I’m muddling this. I’m so cooked, baby. Can we just not?”

She wrapped her arms around me. “I’m sorry to be stupid. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” I held her close. “You’re mine. Don’t give Rachel or any other girl any thoughts, ever. It’s you and me.”

I didn’t move for a long time, and she didn’t make me. When it came down to it, I couldn’t blame her for her insecurity. I wasn’t good with words, and we’d fallen for each other so fast there hadn’t been time to make security happen.

I would have lost my mind if I thought she had feelings for someone else.

Counting on Lydia’s heart beating with my own was the only thing I had left.

In the end, I’d put Lydia in the car with her mother, father and brother. Technically, her dad should have been participating a lot more than he was. But seeing as his wife was dying, I wasn’t going to argue. Whatever time he could get, he should take.

I walked next to Micah who was humming something. I looked over at him. “Could you stop doing that?”

“I got to Genesis, rounded up people to save the day, got them back here in two weeks, and you won’t let me hum?”

He was right. I was being an ass. “Sorry. Thanks for showing up like you said you would.”

“You’re taking this hard. When I left, we could barely stand the town. Lydia was cool but that was about it. Something changed.”

How to explain it? “They started to change. The training, as you said, teaching them to make a fist. I saw Geronimo as a place maybe where I could start over.”

Micah nodded. “Well, you’re going to have to figure out how to start over at Genesis. Me too, for that matter. I don’t think we’re getting out of there again.”

“Hey, you two.” I turned at the sound of Darren’s voice. The big man barreled over to us. “I’ve been looking for you.”

I laughed at the sight of him. He was an intense teddy bear. “How’s the married life? You know, the woman you picked over us.”

He groaned. “From what I hear, Deacon, you’ve gone and settled down, too. And my wife is fine.”

That was right. I was settled, but the word he used startled me. He’d gotten married while I’d been gone. Wife…

As far as I was concerned, I was done. Lydia was it for me. Now and always. But there were other steps to take and her mother was dying.

“You have a funny look on your face.” Micah side-eyed me. “What are you thinking?”

I wasn’t going to tell him. Not yet. “When do the cars stop again?” They were a distance ahead of us but going slowly. No point in outrunning the people who could protect them in the event of an attack. One Warrior per car wasn’t going to be enough to handle an outright assault.

“Probably in an hour.”

I nodded. Maybe I was out of my mind. It was possible I’d gone completely over the deep end. I supposed we would see.

I’d watched an entire town burn the night before, run into a fire, and taken down more Vamps than I could count. I hadn’t slept and wouldn’t until we stopped again. Then the Warriors would sleep in shifts. I was going to bring my small crew of newbies with me on that. They’d learned how to fight, and they could participate. When I’d asked Patrick, he’d looked at me with an odd twist of his eyebrows but agreed without hesitation.

I might not be one hundred percent clear at the moment, and I wanted to be sure I made her understand she was in no way obligated to say yes. In fact, a smart woman, which she was, would run far away.

But then, for some reason, Lydia loved me. I took a deep breath. Why did I have to think things through over and over before I did them?

Lydia hopped out of the truck and, seeing me, smiled. She ran over and hugged me. “Oh, Deacon, you’re so cold. It’s awful you’re having to stay outside.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine.”

She rubbed my arms, pulling me tight. “It’s not. I’ll walk with you.”

“The last thing I want is you cold. Stay with your parents. Hey, actually, can I speak to you for a second?”

With her blond hair flung over her shoulder, she looked like a snow angel. “As opposed to what we’re doing?”

She was right. I took a deep breath. “I mean, yes, obviously. Sorry.”

Her face fell. “You’re freezing and exhausted. I’m teasing. What’s going on?”

“I love you.”

There would never be a time I would cease to adore her smile. “I love you, too.”

I nodded. That was right. I needed to hear it but I knew her feelings just the same. “And your mom is so sick.”

Her smile faded. She took a deep breath. “Worse every day I don’t think she’s going to make it to Genesis.”

Well, that would shorten the timeline. My heart raced like I was in a battle. “Lydia, would you like to marry me? It’s fine to say no. It really is. I would say no to marrying me. But if you think you might ever like to, we could do it now so your mom could be there.”

I’d officially given the worst marriage proposal ever. She hadn’t answered. In fact, she stared at me like I’d grown two heads. Okay, this had been a terrible idea. I put out my hands. “It’s all right, love. I’m sorry. Just forget I…”

She kissed me hard, right on the lips. There were tears in her eyes. I really had no idea what to do with crying. “I’m sorry. Okay? I made things worse for you. I thought that…”

Lydia shook her head. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Stop trying to take it back.”

“Oh.” I laughed. She said yes. I’d heard her. She’d actually said it. “Okay. So you’re not upset I asked you? You’re crying.”

She wiped her eyes. “Someday I’m going to teach you the concept of good tears.”

I hoped she did. Maybe we’d live a long life together, and I’d grasp whole slews of things about human relationships that never made sense to me. I kissed both her cheeks. “I’ll get Patrick. He can marry us right now.”

“Oh.” She darted backward. “Right this very second. Okay. I’ll get my parents.”

Maybe it wasn’t how either of us would have planned this moment. As Micah would have said, these were the cards dealt to us, we had to play the hand. I didn’t know if there would ever be a time when Lydia and I would be able to just breathe and wait for the future. So far, our relationship was all about the here and now. I gripped my coat closer to myself. We’d have time. I had to believe that someday we would.

Our wedding ended up being in front of one of Chad’s SUVs. Lydia and I said our vows to each other with her family, Micah, Chad, Rachel, Darren, and Glen with us. I wasn’t even sure how anyone outside of Lydia and her family knew about it, but I was happy to have them there.

It wasn’t a long ceremony. I didn’t really focus on what Patrick said. I was sure he had a lot of insight, having been happily married with five children. But all I could think was that Lydia was standing there, saying yes. I’d never imagined this, couldn’t have. People didn’t really get married in the Vampire habitats. They’d call themselves married, make a commitment, but there was no official anything.

I’d expected to die a long time ago and certainly hadn’t wanted to get married back then. How had this happened?

I interrupted Patrick, I just had to. “Lydia, are you sure you’re not making a huge mistake?”

She took my hands in hers. “Deacon, I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it, okay? I love you. I always will. No mistakes here.”

“Okay, I had to check.” I looked at Patrick. “Go ahead.”

He raised both his eyebrows. “Thanks, Deacon.”

The talking started again, and so did the snow. And then it was over. I leaned over to kiss her. She was my wife. My wife.

There wasn’t time for a lot of romance. The cars had to start back up again. Lydia’s mother kissed me on both cheeks, and her father shook my hand. I still didn’t know what to say to them, but the tears in both of their eyes seemed like what Lydia called happy tears. Or at least I hoped they were.

I sent her off with her parents despite her objection. We’d have time together, and her mother didn’t have much. It wasn’t like we could be alone. I had to walk another however long a distance until they stopped the cars. Then I’d get to sleep inside one of the SUVs with who knew how many other Warriors before I woke up to let other Warriors sleep so someone could be up the entire night.

She could fight with us except I thought, and she ultimately agreed, we were better off with her spending as much time with her mom as possible.

And that was how I ended up, two hours after I got married, with Glen and Micah in the back of a truck. I stared at the top of the vehicle, trying to ignore the fact that Glen snored.

Micah had his arm over his eyes, blocking out the sunlight. Glen must not have trouble with light. I just couldn’t sleep in general.

“My poor sister. How does she endure this?” Micah spoke low.

I smiled. “She loves him?”

“They’re having another baby. She announced the day before I got back.”

Babies? I just gotten married, but actually reproducing was such a foreign concept I couldn’t fathom it. “Amazing any of us can consider having a baby at all. How do we keep it alive?”

“You’ll let me know.” Micah switched arms. “Since you’ll be having a baby in about a year.”

I snorted, and Glen rolled over. “Still using the condoms you gave me. Not going to have a baby.”

Micah was silent for a second, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “Look, I’m not some sort of prophet. I can’t see the future. I just read people. You two… it was instant. She didn’t notice me at all. Her gaze zoomed in on you and I could practically feel the cord form, even if you didn’t know it. And the way this works, for you and Lydia, for my sister and Glen, for Rachel and Chad, is that you will very soon feel the pull to make something that is part you and part her. You’ll decide you can manage despite the danger. And you’ll be right. We aren’t going to have a future if good people like you don’t make babies. Now, go to sleep so you can kick ass and not die tonight.”

I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t think of babies. That was just too much.

What felt like years of exhaustion hit me, and I let sleep sweep me under. I woke up when the pain hit. Panting, I looked over at the other two. Glen and Micah had both been hit by the signal and were up.

The Werewolves were here.

I jumped up with my two friends, and we were out of the truck. The Warriors stood in a circle, looking around.

“Hey,” some non-Warrior called out to us. I didn’t know who. “What’s going on?”

Chad stood slightly to the side by his wife. I grabbed his arm. “Get the cars moved. Get the people inside a circle. Us around it.”

“Good idea.” He nodded at me. “Deacon’s right. Everyone, come on. Put the non-Warriors in the center.”

I’d had to figure out how to make do recently. Without Genesis behind me, things were more complicated. The others didn’t know how to do that.

Or they’d forgotten.

I had a feeling we were all about to remember a lot of things we shouldn’t have forgotten. I looked for Lydia. It would be great to see her one more time since I was going to get killed on our wedding day.

Most likely.