THE CRAVING HIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
Horrible cramping moved out in waves from my very center. It was like no other pain I had ever felt before—a desperate clenching and a tingling in my gums.
My fangs.
I did what I could to ignore it. We were three days from North Landing, and we’d passed the middle of the scar midday.
Aiko was on to me, though.
He knew what was going on as soon as I doubled over at the wheel and fell back to the bench behind the wheel.
Jumping in front of me, he took over the steering.
He said nothing.
The pain would come in waves. Sometimes, I could bear it. Other times, I wound up handing him the wheel.
The land was clearer on the horizon, and we were so close to being back in West S’Kir where I knew how life was ordered.
I doubled over again at the next wave.
“Kimber.”
“What?” I snapped the words.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Denying your body what it needs.”
“I’m just trying to get home.”
He placed a gentle finger on my chin and turned me to look at him. “And then what?”
“I’ll…” My words trailed off.
What would I do when I got to North Landing? Try to find another who might give me their blood? Try to hold off for the men? Hope it would go away? Find another source?
None of that made a lick of sense.
I slumped on the bench.
A moment later, I crumbled into hysterical tears. Sobbing and gasping and doubling over in pain, Aiko managed to grab the wheel and haul me against his side, mumbling soothing words.
“I don’t want this, Aiko! Why did he do this to me!?”
“Because he’s mad, siqinira. He’s absolutely batshit insane. He also had no idea what you were. You’re a literal impossibility.”
“I don’t want to drink blood for the rest of my life.”
“It’s truly not that terrible, Kimber. It isn’t.”
I looked into his deep black eyes. “What if they hate me now?”
“Who?”
“The twins. Dorian. All of West S’Kir.”
“Then I will be there for you, and we will find our way in the world.”
That didn’t help me at all. I started crying harder.
Aiko raised an eyebrow. “Is this the breakdown you were talking about? The part where you freak out?”
“Yes!” I screamed. “My very existence is impossible! I didn’t want to be anything more than a teacher. He just had to be mad. He just had to force his blood on me. He couldn’t just take my head off and be done. He had to sire me and destroy me.” I was shaking violently, trembling against Aiko. “He destroyed my mother, Odom, your sister… me. And now I’m lost. I’m afraid. I’m so damned afraid.”
Aiko just held me as I broke down. I wept and shivered and shook and trembled. I didn’t know what to do, how to stop my mind from running out of control with these thoughts.
Who could deal with me now?
Aiko was bound to me, and that was unfair.
The twins might well reject me.
Dorian would probably hate me.
I didn’t want to fight vampires. I didn’t want to kill people. I didn’t want to drag the druids into some insane war.
I didn’t want to have to take blood for the rest of my life.
All I had ever wanted was a simple, happy life.
Not this fucked up mess of a disaster.
I cried myself to sleep.
I had no idea how long I slept, but I woke when the sail snapped in the wind. I forced my eyes open and looked around.
It was dark, and I had a blanket over me and a pillow under my head. Aiko was asleep on the deck next to me. I sniffled and sat up, careful not to step on him.
He had dropped the anchor at some point, and we were safely moored just a few dozen strides off the coast. In the distance to the west, I could see the lights of North Landing.
I had been asleep for hours, a good part of the day, and probably most of the night.
Walking into the cabin, I made use of the head, ignoring the burning in my stomach. It would get worse, and I would have to deal with the fact that I had to have blood.
“Feeling anymore centered?” Aiko was leaning in the door, and I jumped and clutched my chest.
“Damn it. Don’t do that.”
He smirked.
“How long was I asleep?”
“Eighteen hours or so. It’s about an hour until dawn.”
“Did you sail us this close?”
“And dropped anchor at sunset, yes.” He gave me a grin. “I have been paying attention. I may not love the ocean, but I do want to survive this trip. It was a little more difficult without you, but I made it.”
“You could have awakened me.”
He flipped his hand nonchalantly. “You were fine there once I gave you the pillow and blanket. It didn’t look like rain.” Hopping down the stairs, he pulled out the bag of fruit we’d brought and tossed me an apple. “That will help for a while. But not for too long.”
I looked at the fruit in my hand. “And you?”
Giving me a one-shoulder shrug, he bit into his apple. “I need blood. Soon.”
I chewed thoughtfully and then slapped the apple on the counter. “No, you know what? We can dock at North Landing by midmorning, and I’m not going to dance around this. My stomach hurts, and this needs to happen.”
The smirk on Aiko’s face lit his dark eyes. “Well. There you are again. I was starting to worry about the woman on that bench last night.”
“It’s all false bravado. But do I have a choice? If I don’t at least fake my bravery, I am nothing more than a footnote in history.” I shrugged. “And I think history isn’t done with me yet.”
Aiko gave a firm nod and walked past me to the door to the bedroom. “Come on. Let’s at least make this comfortable. I don’t want you collapsing.” He flipped on the small light that kept us from tripping over things in the tiny room.
With a deep breath, I joined him in the doorway. “How does this work?”
He sat on the bed. “The neck is very intimate. Since we’re trying to avoid that entanglement, we’ll use our wrists.” Motioning me back, he settled the wall that the bed was pressed against. “I’m going to teach you how to do this. Come, sit here. Back to my chest.”
I cleared my throat. “Isn’t that…”
“It’s going to happen whether you’re pressed against me, or I have a block of ice on my dick.”
“Ouch.”
He laughed. “Come on.”
I climbed onto the bed with him and settled between his legs. He placed one hand on my waist and the other on my thigh.
“Take my arm, and move it to a comfortable position.”
I followed his instructions as he spoke.
“Good. Now, what I want you to do is run a finger over my wrist and listen to what it tells you. Don’t question it. Just trust me. Use your pointer finger.”
I traced over the skin on his wrist—and felt it.
“Your pulse,” I whispered.
“Good. Place your lips over that spot. Don’t open yet. Good. Feel it still?”
Nodding, I was entranced by the beat his heart kept to push his blood through his body. I could feel it against my lips—thrum, thrum, thrum—and my gums itched.
He leaned into my ear. “Don’t hold back your fangs, Kimber. Let them drop.”
I let the beat of his vein hypnotize me, relax me. A moment later, the small fangs I remembered—that I had absolutely freaked out over a few days before—slipped free, and I moved my lips to make room for them.
Slamming down the panic that threatened to overwhelm me, I refocused on Aiko’s wrist.
“Good,” he said. “They’re beyond sharp. You feel where my vein is, so you can slide them in there.”
I scraped the tips along his skin, so I didn’t lose where I needed to be.
Bad idea.
A jolt of sexual energy shot through me from my mouth to every part of my body. I exhaled, trying to push it away, but it came out as a moan.
“Don’t, Kimber. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re doing fine.”
Fine? Not hardly, not when filthy ideas were filtering into my brain.
I had myself in the right spot and refocused.
“Press down.”
Aiko was right. The teeth were needle sharp and slipped through his skin with almost no effort. A little startled at how easy it was, the fangs withdrew from his wrist, and his blood filled my mouth.
Holy shit.
My mind wanted to be disgusted, but my taste buds danced and sang with the flavor of him on my tongue.
A tart flavor with a hint of copper, he also had the flavor of dark chocolate and mint. Cool mint to match the cool pine I associated with him. It was the most amazing flavor mixed with the most heartbreaking emotions I had ever been party to. . .
I let him fill my mouth and swallowed.
There weren’t words. Not curses or blessings to scream out at what it felt like to have his blood flow into me, to take away the pain in my stomach. Sweet, delicious, fulfilling, sexual—
Another long low moan left me and joined one from Aiko.
“Suck, Kimber,” he managed to whisper. “Just suck. Don’t prolong this. It is what we need right now, and that is all. Listen to your magic. It will tell you when you’ve had enough.”
I pulled on his vein, and the sensuality of something so intimate was hard to ignore.
Aiko wasn’t having any luck ignoring the sensation, either. He was hard as a rock against my back.
Impressively so.
Closing my eyes, I pushed away from those feelings, and just concentrated on taking what I needed from his vein.
It didn’t work very well.
Still, I tried not to pay attention. I followed the magic and listened to it.
It was different now. Fuller, complete. Filled with power, currently seeking the blooded half of it, I could feel this would only satisfy one half of what I was capable of holding now.
It had been the vampire half of me that had been holding back my full magic.
…finished…
I pulled back, and instinct took over—I swiped my tongue over the vein I had fed from, sealing it instantly.
“Fuck…” Aiko hissed behind me and pressed me forward just a bit. “Like I was goddamn teenager…” He climbed off the bed quickly and disappeared into the head—er, bath.
“Are you okay, my lord?” I called.
“Yes, I just…” His voice disappeared into the sound of running water.
This was going to be the death of us.
A minute later, he walked out and sighed. “Sorry.”
“No. No apologies. This is what we need.” I lay on my side on the bed and motioned him up. “Come on. Your turn.”
“I feel wrong.”
“So did I for a moment.”
I patted the bed, and he moved to lie in front of me, his back to my chest. He groaned a little when he felt the pillow-softness of my breasts but returned to himself quickly.
I rested my arm across his chest, and he moved it closer to his mouth. “Just what I need.”
“Of course,” I nodded.
He struck quickly, which was a bad idea. I came instantly, biting my lip to keep from screaming. My head fell onto the mattress, and I wanted to give into the burn that was left between my legs.
Like Aiko had with me, I felt the pull of his lips and the swallow of blood. The burn grew with each mouthful until, finally, when he had taken just enough of my blood, he swiped his tongue over the punctures, and I climaxed again—rolling away and onto my back.
I let the wave wash through me, panting and brushing my hands up and down my hips—simply to give them something to do.
“Kimber?”
“Don’t touch, don’t touch,” I breathed. “Give me a minute.”
“I’m sorry.”
I snapped my eyes to his. “No apologies!”
“I’m—” He cut himself off. “Right. A minute.” He flopped onto his stomach and dropped his head to the bed.
“Any chance we’ll ever get that under control?”
“Someday, maybe.”
My lip twisted. I didn’t know if I’d wanted a yes or a no out of him.
* * *
“Ahoy!”
Straightening from where I was winding rope, I found a larger boat pulling alongside us.
I raised my hand. “Ahoy!”
“Any problems, Captain?”
“None, thank you.”
“You are aware this is a no-anchor zone?” The man at the railing was dressed as one of the captains from our small druid navy.
“I didn’t know such a thing existed near Cold Bay.” I looked to the horizon to gauge how far we were from North Landing.
“No anchor. From the Spi—Scar to the Bay. Vampires, you know.”
Yes, I did know.
“Sorry, sir. Our sail slacked yesterday noon, and no wind was to be had,” I lied. “We were about to set into port at North Landing.”
“No, you weren’t,” the captain said. “No one is currently allowed to dock without a permit there. You’ll have to sail on to Otano.”
Aiko called from the bow of the boat. “How many days from here?”
“Do you not know our cities?”
“It’s three more days with favoring wind, as long as a week without,” I snapped. “Captain, we have to put into North Landing. Our food supplies are running out, and we must get in contact with the Temple.”
“The Temple is razed.”
“What?”
“The city has been burned. The vampires marched from the south to the city,” he said. “Where have you been that you do not know this?” The captain pointed out behind our stern.
I turned and looked and found twenty or more warships floating both close and far from us.
The navy was no longer small.
“We’re not even sure how you made it this far,” the captain said. “Allow us to board your boat, Captain?”
Aiko looked at me. “We don’t have time for this. We can help them if we can get to them.”
The captain of the warship had his arms folded. “Allow us to board your ship, or we will bring ourselves aboard.”
“Captain, we have information vital to the temple masters,” I started.
Two hooks-on-ropes flew over the sides of the ship to land on our deck. The ropes were immediately hauled back toward the larger vessel and caught our railing to pull us in.
With a quick snap of magic, both ropes were cut, and the hooks hung limply on our boat. We really didn’t have time for this kind of game.
“Madame, if you wish to remain alive and afloat, you will not do that again.”
I stared at him. “Captain, allow me to introduce myself. I am Kimber Raven, of the House Stormbreaker, Mistress of the Temple of the Lost God, Bright Sword, Breaker of the Spine and Keeper of Scar. We have to get back to North Landing and find the temple masters, where ever they are.”
The captain stared at me. “Master Roran has told us that Lady Raven was an accomplished sailor. He’d given each of the captains a single phrase you would know about your vessel that would indicate if you were telling the truth and not an imposter. What is it?”
I wrinkled my brow. “A single phrase. Did he give you any clues to give me? I’ve been sailing since I was nine.”
“None. Just that it was something only you would know.”
I looked up at the sail of the boat we were on. It hung unsecured, waiting for me to pull a line and find the wind.
I grinned and looked back at the captain. I had never told them the name, but I had no doubt they had discovered it. “The name of my parents’ boat. It was Find the Wind.”
“Mistress,” he said with a bow. “You have no idea how relieved the masters will be to see you alive and well.”
“Not half so much as I am.”