It had been two days since Declan Rose sat at my desk and made one of the most insane offers I’d ever heard: be his fake boyfriend and fake romp through a fake Christmas wonderland.

And it had been two days that I couldn’t stop thinking about the insane offer Declan Rose made to me.

Seriously, I went to sleep thinking about it, and I woke up thinking about it. I couldn’t even really explain why I’d become so consumed by his offer. Maybe it was a way for my mind to veer far away from thinking of Barry and the destruction that cheating pig had left in his wake on the way out of my apartment. It didn’t help whatsoever that I was now leaving a meeting with my divorce lawyer, who was telling me I needed to make a numbered list on every single item we both co-owned as husband and husband. Every single thing.

“Even the silverware?” I had asked.

“Especially the silverware.”

My lawyer thought he was funny, but his jokes usually worked out as well as my marriage did.

Thankfully the cold front that had hit the city was starting to weaken, so that was one thing working in my favor. I only had to wear three layers today to feel comfortable. That in itself called for a celebration. I was also overdue for a sit-down with my good friend Zoey, so I had scheduled a coffee date for us to catch up. We decided we would meet by Rockefeller Center so we could sit near the gargantuan Christmas tree and people watch as butts got busted on the ice skating rink. My lawyer’s office wasn’t far, either, so I walked the way, trying to figure out what I was going to open up with. There were a few new things going on in my life since the last time Zoey and I had gotten together, the biggest being Declan’s offer. But there was also something else Zane had talked with me about that I wanted to share with Zoey and get her insight on. Honestly, when he had told me what he was planning, I was totally floored.

And yet, still, the only thing I’ve really been able to think about these past few is Declan.

The short walk to Rockefeller Center was nice and helped me shake off the negativity that had consumed me since sitting down in my attorney’s dingy office. He wasn’t exactly the top-performing attorney in the city, but thankfully my case was relatively simple, and so I only needed to go slightly bankrupt for the divorce. There were plenty of people out on the street, most of them seemingly wrapping up their last-minute Christmas shopping. The cold snap had brought snow with it, too, but most of it was already melted by now, only dirty piles of brown and black sludge left behind. I jumped over one and turned a corner, Rockefeller Center opening up to me like a passage into another world. It was made magical for Christmas and had been one of my absolute favorite spots in the city. Even with my current anti-holiday theme going on, I was still blown away by the pure Christmas joy seeing Rockefeller Center at this time of year brought to me.

I was looking at a beautiful stone path between two tall buildings, a row of huge angel statues made of white lights on either side of the garden path, golden trumpets held up to their lips. Straight ahead and about a city’s block away, I could see the huge tree overlooking the ice skating rink, which was set so that it was on a lower level than the street surrounding it. Unfortunately, it was still three o’clock in the afternoon and the sun was high in the sky, making it impossible to appreciate the scene with all the Christmas lights turned on.

Which is fine. Christmas sucks anyway.

With that powerful and potent declaration to myself and myself only, I walked down the path, passing people of all kinds bundled up against the cold and looking around with childlike delight in their eyes. Selfies galore were being taken, and the sound of laughter and conversation was almost loud enough to drown out the other noises of the city, the nearby honks and the sirens and the construction crew that seemed to be drilling down to the core of the earth.

“There’s my guy!” I heard Zoey before I saw her. She was getting up from a nearby bench, the entrance to the ice skating rink only a few feet away from her. She was wearing a puffy black coat with a cartoon blue-and-white snake printed across the chest, the zipper open down the middle and revealing a shirt I had known was one of Zoey’s favorites: a blue shirt made to look like a police call box from that Doctor Who show she was always watching. I got into it for a few seasons but couldn’t find the same love for it that Zoey had. I was more of a This is Us kind of guy. The kind of shows that are all based here on earth, with dysfunctional family and friendship units that reach through the television screen, tear open your chest, and run away with your heart so they can destroy it with some crazy, messed-up twist.

“You got the drugs?” she said in a projected stage whisper.

“Zoey!” I said, shaking my head and smiling. “I’m not a drug dealer for the record.” That was for the eavesdroppers or any hovering undercover DEA agents. I opened my arms and pulled my crazy friend into a tight hug.

Zoey Black, my best friend since back when taking naps was a class in school. She was a blunt girl with hard opinions and soft delivery tactics. I always said she should have been a doctor because her bedside manner would have been phenomenal. She could have been delivering a time of death and still somehow manage to get everyone in the room laughing.

“I could easily be asking for some Tylenol,” she said, feigning offense that I would suggest anything else.

“Mhmm,” I said, following her over to the bench she had been sitting on. Nearby, a couple of pigeons were dueling, possibly to the death, for a piece of a heavily salted pretzel someone must have dropped.

“So how you been, Andrew? Are you ready?”

“For?” I was looking around, unsure of what Zoey was preparing me for.

“Bitch! You did not bring me to an ice skating rink and expect to not go ice-skating!”

“Ohhh, no, no, no. Zoey, did you forget who you’re sitting next to right now? The last time I went ice-skating, I fell and slid across the entire rink, on my belly, like some kind of drug-addled penguin.”

Zoey scoffed at that. “God, I would pay so much to see that image.”

“Talk to my aunt—she has it on tape.”

“No way. Oh, I’m calling Auntie Pam the second you leave.”

“Damn it, why did I even say anything.”

Zoey shook a finger in the air. “Too late, I already know there’s a visual of this beautiful scene, and you can be damn sure I’m going to hunt it down like Nicholas Cage searching for some kind of national treasure with a young and buxom sidekick at his side.”

It was my turn to scoff. “Who’s your young and buxom sidekick?”

“…What are you doing this weekend?”

I laughed again, shaking my head. “About that,” I said, getting to the meat of why I had asked Zoey to hang out today. I wanted to get her advice, because aside from being one of the funniest people I knew, Zoey was also one of the wisest. Life had thrown her plenty of hurdles, and she leaped over them with a grace and poise that never failed to inspire me. “Soo, first let me get the career stuff out of the way.”

“Career stuff? Oh lord, this sounds big. I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

“No, I don’t think so, either,” I said, chuckling. “Zane asked me to stay and talk to him after work a couple days ago. I did and thankfully he wasn’t firing me. He was telling me that he wants to expand Stonewall Investigations and open up new branches in different cities. He wants to start with one first and then go from there. There are a couple of cities he’s considering for the first expansion. Miami, Boston, San Francisco are the top three contenders, though.” Zoey was hanging on my every word while the battling pigeons were still duking it out. “He asked me to go and manage the agency with a track to becoming the head detective there.”

Zoey’s blue eyes opened wide. “Holy shit! That’s incredible!” She was beaming and took me into a hug as best she could with us still sitting on the bench. And then the other side of the news must have hit her because her expression collapsed for a brief moment. “That means you’ll be leaving New York.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly said yes yet.”

“What? Did a mad scientist break into your room while you were sleeping and replaced your brain with a camel’s? This is such an incredible opportunity, you can’t say no to it.”

“It’s a huge step, Zoey. What if I’m not ready for it?”

“Then you’ll figure it all out when you get there.” She grabbed my hand tight in her gloved hand. “You’ve totally got this, Andrew. No one really knows what they’re doing, but as long as they’ve got the heart and willingness to learn and evolve, then things turn out fine. Better than fine. You need to take this chance because you never know when another door will open. Or even if another door will open.”

She was right, as always. “It’s scary,” I said, being honest. “But you’re right. I don’t know if I’ll have a chance like this again. And after Barry royally fucked me up, honestly, I think getting out of this city is exactly what I need.”

“I totally second that. There’s too much holding you down here. You need a change of scenery, and I need a free place to crash when I go visit every month!”

“All right,” I said. There was a determination settling inside me, which was refreshing. Ever since my marriage self-combusted, I had felt like my life was just kind of drifting without any direction. Not that Barry had given me any direction while we together, but still, even if my career wasn’t blowing up, at least it felt like our little family was moving forward together. Little did I know we were moving forward all right, straight for the edge of a cliff. “I’ll tell Zane that I’ll do it.”

Zoey clapped, the sound muffled by her thick gray gloves. She must have noticed and probably felt how hot she was getting since we were sitting under a direct ray of sun. She pulled them off and stuffed them into her pocket. “Ahh, I’m so damn proud of you, Andrew. So proud. You’ve got to take risks in life, because that’s when the greatest rewards come along.”

“Speaking of risks,” I said, shifting gears to the second pressing issue at hand. “There’s something else that’s, eh, landed in my lap I guess.”

Zoey angled her head, looking at me suspiciously. “What have you gotten yourself into now?”

“Nothing!” I smirked, looking over at a family buying tickets for the ice-skating rink. “Well, nothing yet.” I sighed. It didn’t help relieve the pressure that was suddenly building in my chest. Just thinking about the guy was making me all nervous and butterfly-filled, and I hadn’t even started talking about him yet. Which was absolutely ridiculous seeing as how I should be on some kind of self-loving journey with myself and myself only. I was going through a divorce; I didn’t need to be thinking about Declan the way I was.

“Why are you blushing?” Zoe asked, calling a spade a spade.

“Ughh,” I groaned. There was no more holding it back. “I was offered to be someone’s fake boyfriend for a week, except the guy actually seems like a real catch. Which is totally crazy considering I’m just out of a relationship with someone who I thought was just as great a catch—” Zoey’s look made me edit myself. “—as good a catch—” Another look. “—a catch. I thought Barry was a catch and had absolutely no idea he was a cheating asshole. So now, this Declan guy is asking me to come with him to his family’s Christmas retreat in Connecticut because his judgmental family is all going to be paired up. He’s a client of one of the detectives, and he’s charming and funny and someone I totally wouldn’t mind spending a week with.”

“And? The problem?”

“Zoey, my relationship situation is as toxic as the masculinity coming off that guy over there with the steroid muscles and angry bear scowl.”

Zoey leaned forward and narrowed her gaze. “Hmm, he’s kinda hot.” She quickly looked away when the walking testosterone ad lifted his head toward us. “I don’t know, Andrew. I know it’s kind of crazy and the timeline isn’t exactly perfect, but he’s not asking you to marry him. This could be exactly what you need to shake things off and get some finality. You can have some temporary, no-strings-attached fun and then move on with your life.”

“I mean… it would definitely be fun. But no… If, and that’s a huge if, I decide to go, sleeping together has to be off-limits. That’s just going to be too fast for me. I was with two guys before Barry, and that was it. Then, obviously, I’ve only been with Barry since we started dating.” A sharp stab of pain mixed with humiliation twisted in my chest. “Of course, I’ve got zero idea of how many guys Barry had been with since we started dating.”

“I’m sorry,” Zoey said. She always said she was an empath and was able to pick up on the slightest of emotional changes. She definitely picked up on mine, her hand coming to rest on my knee. She gave me a few friendly squeezes and gave me a minute to put myself back together again.

It was crazy. Every day that put me further from the day Barry and I split felt like the last day I’d feel for him. For what we had. And yet, I was still feeling the hurt like it had all happened that same morning. And it wasn’t so much for losing Barry anymore, because that part of myself was able to rationalize and see that he was just not worth giving my heart to.

No, the pain was coming from somewhere else. From feeling like I was cheated, in more than just the obvious way. I was cheated of my happy, fairy-tale ending. It was supposed to be mine; I had a thick pair of rose-colored glasses on, and I could have sworn the happy ending was already in my hands.

“This is crazy,” I said, almost to myself as I dug into my pocket for my phone.

“Yes, yes, yeeesss,” Zoey said, staring at me like a barn owl watching a mouse underneath her branch. “Do it. Andrew, you won’t regret it. Listen, if you get there and you really don’t like it, text me a code word, and I’ll call you and say you’ve got to get back for an emergency.”

“That’s… actually not a bad idea.”

“Duh,” she said. “Okay, so the code word could be mayonnaise.”

“Mayonnaise? The hell, I don’t think I even know how to spell that.”

“Get in the ballpark. I’ll know what you mean.” She laughed and gave me a look that almost made up my decision for me. But there were still reservations.

“What if he’s a lunatic? What if he’s setting up some kind of trap?” It was question that took on a grave sincerity.

She took a second to answer that. “I mean… no. I highly doubt it, especially since it’s a family holiday retreat. It’s not like he’s asking you to go with him alone to some cabin in the middle of the woods. He’s told you where the retreat is and you told me, therefore, if he was some kind of sicko, he’s doing a terrible job at keeping things under wraps so that I can’t show up and go freaking Goku on his ass. I swear, if he even lifts a finger at you, I’ll wring him like a wet towel. I swear.”

I chuckled at that, feeling a little less concerned. She was right; he was being totally upfront about what was happening and that plenty other people would be there. Plus, he was walking into an investigation agency on his own free will, something I doubted anyone with a literal skeleton in their closet would do. “Come on,” Zoe said, giving me that “you better do this” look. “It’s Christmas! What can go wrong when there’s so much cheer in the air?”

“A hell of a lot,” I quipped back. My hand lifted, almost as if by its own accord, and I wiggled my now bare ring finger. “Exhibit one.”

“Okay, but that was more of, like, a Thanksgiving event. A turkey-tastrophe, if you will. A Red Thanksgiving. A gobble gobble gangbang of shit.”

I snorted at that last one.

“So,” she went on, “I think, now that we’re in the thick of the holiday season, that my theory still stands. Only good things happen around this time.”

“Mhmm…” I said, still unable to tamp down the blossom of doubt in my chest. In my hands, I flipped my phone, screen over back, flipping and flipping, wondering if I was stupid for how badly I wanted to text Declan with a “yes.” It was an irrational want that was turning my heart and brain over at the same tempo as the phone in my hand.