Viv

My next visitor of the day is one I’d been hoping to see. Jade has a box of baked goods from the preferred bakery of the Society, Drago Sisters Bakery, in her hands and I resist the urge to grab it from her. Instead, I hold out my arms for a hug. She smiles, and places the box on the table next to me as we embrace.

“Thank you for saving me,” I tell her.

“You do not get to thank me, after I almost got you killed.”

“The man with the gun almost got me killed, not you.”

“I should’ve checked the perimeter or called for back-up, instead of just assuming he was inside. We all could’ve gotten killed because of my negligence.”

“Is that what Reina has to say about it?”

“No, but she’s gotten a little softer since she had the baby.” She looks around, and then lowers her voice. “Please don’t tell her I said that.”

“My lips are sealed, but you do realize being scared of her means she’s not really ‘soft’.”

“Softer. I said softer, not soft. Big difference.”

“Huge,” I agree.

“I’m liking this hidden smart-ass of yours.”

“I like letting it out.”

“How are you, really? Kenny says you’re okay, but I want to hear it from you.”

“I’m good.”

“Then I can have a serious talk with you, and it won’t be too much?”

“Well, when you put it that way my first inclination is to say no, but go ahead.”

“I know about what happened to Rhys. Nate had something happen to him that’s not exactly the same, but similar enough that I understand what you’re going through.”

I open my mouth and close it twice before the shock wears off enough for me to speak. “He’s the friend Rhieve sent to help him.”

“Yes. They’ve been hanging out, and other stuff.”

“Maura was just here, if that’s what you mean by ‘other stuff’.”

“Oh, good. Yeah, she’s Nate’s doctor, too. And I guess, mine, since I go with him sometimes.”

“She wants me to go with Rhys when he’s ready.”

“It’s good. Hard, but good.”

“Did Nate push you away, or run? I feel like Rhys is always running, but sometimes he’s also trying to get me to run.”

“Nate wouldn’t let me look at him, or admire his body. And yes, he ran. I ended up running after him, when I realized it was what we both needed me to do, but it wasn’t easy. It’s still not easy sometimes, but we both work hard at what we have because we don’t want to lose it.”

“You two are always so happy and in love around each other.”

“We’re genuinely both of those things, but again, there’s work going on no one else sees. Nate’s been getting help for a couple of years now, but there’s still times when I look at him and he cringes slightly. He doesn’t think I see it, and I never tell him I do, but it happens. And there are times when he needs to sleep alone. But that’s okay, because I know he’s fighting his demons as hard as he can. And, he knows I’m fighting them right alongside him.”

“I want to fight with Rhys, but up until now he hasn’t let me.”

“He has to be ready for that, and you need to wait for him until he is ready.”

“I thought if I did that, I was weak, and setting myself up to get hurt. All the things I promised I wouldn’t do after you all helped me escape my former life.”

“I get it, and I felt the same way, but there’s a difference. Doing all of this for the man you love, and who you know loves you back, isn’t weak. You’re going to get hurt sometimes, but you need to remember that he isn’t trying to hurt you, or wanting to hurt you. He’s just protecting himself in the only way he knows how.”

“He doesn’t need to protect himself from me.”

“Are you sure about that? Because, I’m pretty sure you told him to leave this room.”

She’s right. I don’t want to face that I’ve been wrong, but if I expect him to do it, I have to as well.

“I also jumped to conclusions when he tried to talk to me.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, because these guys we love are hard. They’re worth it, but they’re hard. You have to be willing to learn how to push back for yourself, without sending them away at the same time.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Do you love him enough to try?”

I answer without hesitation, because I know it in my soul. “Yes.”

“Then, you can do it. Nate and Rhys aren’t the same person, so I can’t tell you how to do it, but you’ll figure that out yourself.”

“I will,” I tell her, maybe with a little more confidence than I feel right now.

I know I can do this, because I have to. Rhys tried reaching out to me, and I ruined it just as much as he did. We’re both to blame, but he’s actively working to make it better, while I’ve just waiting around, acting like I deserved to do nothing. I’m done with that now.

“Do you know if he’s still here today?”

Jade nods. “He’s sparring with Nate. He’s teaching him how to fight, and they work out together now.”

“Is there a video feed in there?”

“Why yes, there is,” she tells me, pulling it up on her tablet, and connecting to the TV in here so we can both watch. I’ve never wanted to watch two men fighting before, but I think I could get into this.

Rhys

“You’re getting better,” Nate tells me, as we both towel off after sparring for almost two hours.

“Thanks to you.”

He’s laughing as he picks up his phone, and then he turns to me with a smirk. “Our women were apparently watching us.”

“Huh?”

“You know there are cameras everywhere, and the Society women can check them whenever they want. Jade’s visiting Viv, and they decided it would be fun to watch us.”

“Viv watched me?”

“Yeah, and Jade said she’d like to see you if you’re up for it.”

I practically run for the door. “Catch you later, man. Thanks again!”

I can still hear him laughing as I make it to the elevator, pressing the down button impatiently. “Medical wing,” I say once I’m inside, since there’s no button for that.

“Go get your girl,” Ainsley says over the speaker, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“I’m trying.”

Kendrick is waiting for me when I walk out, looking stoic, which is normal, but gives me no idea of what he’s going to say. His posture relaxes as I approach him, so it can’t be too bad.

“Hello, Rhys.”

“Hi.”

“She wants to see you, but she’s still recovering. I’m aware of the rocky relationship you share, and I just want you to try not to upset her too much.”

“I’m not planning on upsetting her at all.”

He nods. “We never are, but I believe you’ll be gentle with her. Go on in.”

I clasp his shoulder briefly as I walk by, silently thanking him. Viv’s door is open, and I hear her laughing with Jade when I step into the doorway. Her eyes go a little wide, and she smiles when she sees me.

“I think you forgot your shirt.”

I look down, and realize she’s right. “Sorry. Nate said you wanted to see me, so I ran right down.”

“I wasn’t complaining,” she says, and then winces. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Yes, she should say that. She should say whatever she wants to say. “Jade, would you mind letting us talk for a few minutes alone?”

“Not at all. See you later, Viv.”

“Thanks for everything.”

“No problem,” she says, stopping at my side before she walks out. “Listen to everything she says, and try not to run.”

“I will.”

Once she’s gone, I close the door, leaning against it for a moment, before I turn back to Viv. There’s so much between us, and I know we can scale the mountain if we work together, but I don’t know if she’s ready to climb with me.

“I’m sorry.”

Her words cause me to turn around, and see her looking like she owes me something. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

“Because I’m not blameless in this. I hurt you.”

“Not as much as I hurt you.”

“This isn’t a competition. At least I don’t want it to be. Not unless we’re on the same team.”

“I’d be the star player on your team.”

“Ditto.”

She picks at her blanket for a moment, before meeting my eyes again. “There’s a rumor going around that you might want to go steady or something. With me.”

“There’s no might about it. It was stupid of me to ask you to just be friends with me, when I want more.”

“You weren’t wrong when you said how good of friends we were.”

“No, but we didn’t hold hands, or kiss, back then, and I really want to do those things with you. I want more, and I hope I’ll be ready to try that soon, but I need to kiss you.”

“I’m ready with my answer if you want to ask me.”

I can’t help but smirk, although there’s nothing fake about this one. “Vivs, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes, but only if you kiss me now.”

“I’ve missed you so much,” I tell her, sitting on the edge of her bed, and cupping her face in my hands.

This time when I kiss her, I treat it like it’s our first, because it is. It’s the first time I’ve kissed her as my girlfriend. She was secretly that years ago, but now we don’t have to hide. We won’t ever hide again.

I kiss her softly, and sweetly. Small kisses all over her lips to let her know how much she means to me. She grips my shoulders as she does the same, and soon we’re laughing in between the pecks on the mouth.

“This reminds me of the past. The good past,” she tells me, touching her forehead to mine while we catch our breath.

“It’s the good future.”

“Cheesy, but accurate.”

I kiss her again, because I can, and this time we put a little more passion into it. Not a lot, but a little. Out tongues touch, but don’t explore. The best part of it all is that I’m not freaked out by any of it. Kissing Viv is more intimate than what we did in Cardiff, and I’m okay with it. Better than okay, if I’m being honest, and the hope I keep losing a grip on has come back to me.