I opened the top drawer of Derek’s dresser and pulled out my sweatpants and a tank top as he started up the shower in the bathroom. I’d been slowly bringing some of my things over from Penny’s house, and he’d graciously offered me any drawers or closet space I needed. I didn’t have many things since I was still just starting out, so I wouldn’t take up much space.

I stepped into my sweats one leg at a time and listened to the water running in the bathroom.

It had been hard to get used to using that bathroom after everything that happened in there two weeks ago. For the most part, I avoided it altogether and used the guest one down the hall. Derek didn’t say anything about it, and he even closed the door when we went to bed. He understood.

The last two weeks had been an absolute blur. After Jason was killed, I met everyone. It wasn’t the best of circumstances to be introduced to the Lost Breed MC, but it was the circumstance we had. I was there to help Derek with his parts of planning the funeral and helping Ryder. Dani and I chatted a lot, and she set me up with a trauma counselor who I visited at least two times a week. I saw the counselor four days in a row after Jason died.

It had helped immensely.

I was able to sort through my feelings and deal with the fear. I learned healthy coping habits and not to shut down. If I needed to cry, I cried. If I needed to talk, I talked to Derek. And he was there for me at every turn, even though I knew he was grieving too.

The funeral had been a lot more upbeat than I’d expected. Since it was for a young person, I thought it would be somber and sad, but Ryder was committed to making it more about celebrating his nephew than just mourning him. After all the destruction and trauma, it was a welcomed relief.

Jason was buried in a Lost Breed leather jacket that had apparently been set aside for him years ago. Watching his casket get lowered into the ground had been a chilling experience for me only because it could have easily been me and Derek being buried that day.

Maria, Jason’s mother, never came to the funeral.

Derek asked Ryder about it, but he wouldn’t speak of it. Derek explained to me that there was bound to be tension between Ryder and his sister now. She never wanted this life for her son, and it would take her some time to come around and realize it really had nothing to do with Ryder. Jason was a kid who’d made consistently bad choices. He never learned from his mistakes, and he got in too deep with the wrong people. Had he been a Lost Breed through and through, he never would have ended up working for a man as sick and twisted as Isaac Reed.

Dani was looking for Isaac with steadfast determination. She wanted justice for Jason, and I think she wanted Isaac either behind bars or dead even more now that she and Ryder were expecting a baby in six months. She’d even told Ryder that they weren’t going to set up the nursery or make any baby-related purchases until they got him.

Ryder, of course, thought this was insane, and begged her to change her mind.

But Dani was a stubborn woman who feared nobody. She insisted they would catch Isaac soon, and their reward would be preparing for the arrival of their baby girl or boy.

There was lots of talk among the MC about what gender the baby would be. Derek suspected it would be a girl. The others, all except for Caleb, were expecting a boy. When Derek asked me what I thought, I shrugged. I didn’t feel like I knew any of these people well enough to make a call like that.

I didn’t feel like I knew them at all.

Once I was dressed, I went into Derek’s living room, where I sat in one corner of his couch, curled my legs under myself, and called Penny.

It was nine o’clock on a Sunday morning. She might very well have been sleeping, but I hoped she’d answer.

She did. “Evelyn? Morning. What time is it? Good lord, you know I don’t wake up until at least eleven on Sundays. Some friend you are.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, biting my nail.

I heard her covers rustling as she shifted around in bed. Her springs creaked, and she yawned. “Is something wrong? What’s up?”

I stopped biting my nail and sighed. I’d told Penny everything that happened at Derek’s house with Jason and Isaac the day after it all went down. I’d have told her sooner, but she was busy as hell and kept letting my calls go to voicemail. I wanted to be pissed, but I choose patience instead.

When I finally did unload on her, she was horrified and asked me what I needed from her. Truth was, I didn’t know. All I had wanted was comfort and to feel safe, and it was Derek who gave me that. Penny understood and had sat patiently on the phone with me while I told her everything that was going on, and all my fears for the steps ahead. These phone calls had been more frequent than I would have liked, but they were necessary for my healing process.

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” I said quietly.

“About Jason?”

“Yeah,” I said.

Penny yawned again. “I don’t blame you. I think there’d be something wrong with you if you could just put it behind you and never think about it again. Are you still having the dreams?”

“No, not for the last couple of nights.”

“That’s a good sign.”

She was right. It was probably a good thing. I’d had nightmares about what happened in the bathroom every night for the week and a half following the murder. Sometimes, Jason died in my dreams, and sometimes, Derek did—and those nights were the worst ones. “I just can’t help but wonder if I’m making the right choice.”

“What do you mean?” Penny asked.

“Being with him.”

“You’re doubting Derek?”

I bit my bottom lip. “No. I’m doubting if this life is the right one for me. I’m afraid things are going to get worse. They still haven’t caught Isaac, and there’s no telling where he is right now. Even if they do catch him like they say they will, what then? Is this what it will always be like? Is there always going to be an enemy lurking in the shadows?”

Penny voice grew tight. “Are you calling me and asking me this because you want me to make you feel better, or because you want me to be honest with you?”

I swallowed. Penny was good for this kind of thing. If I wanted comfort at a time of crisis like this, that’s what she would give me. But that wasn’t what I was looking for. I was looking for someone I trusted to tell me what to do. I was lost. “Honest. Please.”

“Honesty it is. Derek is a good guy. I know I didn’t think so at first, but I’m starting to change my mind. He cares about you, Evie. I’d go as far to say he loves you. I’m sure of it. I’m also positive you love him too. But I know love isn’t always enough to make it work. Sometimes it is. He makes you happier than I've ever seen you. Not only that, he protects you. Yes, this is a dangerous life. Yes, it may be that way forever. All you have to decide is if he’s worth it. Nothing more, nothing less. If he’s not, you need to walk away now before it gets harder to do so. And if he is worth it, then you’ll have to roll with the punches.”

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. “I knew that’s what you’d say.”

Penny chuckled. “I’m sorry, babe, but I can’t tell you what to do on this one. All I know is if I was in your shoes and I had a man who risked his life for me, I’d stay by him. If I loved him, of course.”

“Of course,” I mumbled.

“And do you love him?”

“I’ve loved him since he took me for margaritas.”

I could hear Penny’s smile in her voice. “Then, I think you have your answer.”

I heard Derek come out of the bedroom after his shower. “I have to go, Penny. Thanks for this. I needed it.”

“Call me later?”

“Okay,” I said, and I hung up the phone as Derek came into the living room. He had his towel wrapped around his waist, and he stopped with his hands on his hips

He looked down at me with an arched eyebrow as I admired his half-naked body. Little droplets of water on his shoulders caught the sunlight streaming in through the windows. “Who were you talking to?” he asked.

“Penny.”

He came and dropped down on the couch beside me. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s good. She got mad at me for waking her up.”

“It’s past nine.”

“I know. She guards her Sunday mornings with her life.”

Derek chuckled and put his hand on my knee. “I’m going to make coffee and start some breakfast. You hungry?”

“No thanks.”

Derek cocked his head to the side. “What’s wrong?”

He could read me like an open book. I didn’t understand how that was possible. It was like we’d been together for ages and he knew every little thing about me, just like I felt like I knew every little thing about him. “Nothing,” I said.

He turned to face me more directly. “Evelyn. I can tell when something is wrong. You and I work so well together because we tell each other everything. Please let me in. Tell me what’s wrong.”

I searched his brilliant green eyes. I could get lost in them. They were so beautiful. So was he. I swallowed. “I’m in love with you.”

He blinked. “And that’s what’s wrong?”

I nodded.

“I’m sorry. I’m confused.”

I sighed. “I’m scared all the time, and I’m only scared because I love you. I keep thinking our time is limited. That scares the hell out of me. All I want is this forever. Us. But how long is our forever going to be?”

Derek gathered me in his arms and pulled me in tight against his big chest. “I have the same fears, baby. You know why?”

“Why?” I whispered, my tears starting together in the corners of my eyes.

“Because I love you too.”

I looked up at him.

“If you need to get away from this, I won’t blame you for it, Evelyn. I swear I won’t. But I also swear I’ll protect you. This life isn’t conventional by any means, but it’s usually a lot better than this. Isaac is an anomaly. And Dani and Ryder are on the warpath looking for him. His days are numbered. We’re going to get him. Then, it can be me and you, doing normal couple shit, and not worrying about anything besides building our life together. The MC will always be a part of me and, in time, a part of you too.”

“They’ll accept me?”

Derek smiled and ran his thumb along my cheek. “They already have, baby.”

I pressed my cheek into his hand and savored the warmth of his touch. This was all I needed. Him. “Normal couple shit, huh?”

He smirked and nodded. “Yeah.”

“What does that look like?”

“I have no fucking clue,” he laughed, “but I want to do it with you.”

My cheeks stretched in a smile. “Keep saying sweet things to me.”

“You’ve got a great ass.”

I snickered and slapped him playfully in the chest. Then, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. I melted into him. This was my life now. Passionate love, wild nights, and yes, a little bit of danger. But I could handle it. I’d hit a man with a fire extinguisher, for crying out loud. I wasn’t a shaky little leaf like I sometimes thought I was. I could be fierce just like the Lost Breed members.

I would need to be if I was going to get through this brewing storm in one piece.

When I came out the other side stronger, Derek and I would be able to settle into our life together. And it would all be worth it.

So long as we both survived.