Mara

 

Christmas day dawned bright and crystal clear. There was a thin blanket of white snow on the ground, giving White Pines a sparkling glamour that should have brightened anyone's day, but I was far from a space where I could be cheered up. I had stumbled into the house the night before, walking straight past a stunned Shannon to shut myself up in my room.

I’d cried so hard that my head still felt a little sore. Eventually, sometime in the middle of the night, Shannon, armed with soup and some actual fresh-baked cookies, got the whole story out of me. She looked sad, but not surprised, and somehow that made it worse.

“I thought he had finally figured it out,” I said, drinking some water to try to re-hydrate at least a little. “I thought...I don't know.”

“You thought he saw you and not just what he wanted to see,” Shannon said, squeezing my hand gently, and I smiled at her a little.

“God, you're smart,” I said. “You should have been the writer.”

“I'll leave that to you,” she said, wrinkling her nose in a surprisingly adorable way. “I'm just happy enough to bake cookies and be moral support.”

Shannon had always been so sensitive to what Chloe and I were feeling. She left me alone the rest of the evening, and the next morning, she made sure that I had a breakfast of toast, bacon and eggs waiting for me as soon as I got up.

“This is good, thank you,” I said blearily.

“I have some presents for you too, but you can open them tonight,” she said with a smile, and I smiled back a little.

I was going to say that she was getting some gift certificates, but then there was a knock on the door. I stiffened and Shannon went to look.

“It's him,” she called back to me. “Should I just tell him off?”

That made me laugh. That was usually my job, and I shook my head.

“You're a good sister,” I said. “I can handle it.”

“All right,” she said, heading upstairs. “But if you need anything, just yell.”

There might be some yelling regardless of whether I needed anything, I thought. Wishing that I was wearing something more dignified than ratty pajamas and a robe, I opened the door.

Cade was dressed in the same blue suit he had worn the night before, and there was something hollow in his eyes. He stepped in the house without waiting for an invitation and looked at me for a long moment.

“What do you want?” I asked, unable to resist adding, “Would have thought you'd be in Beijing by now...”

“I was wrong,” he said bluntly. “Completely wrong. I shouldn't have tried to kidnap you away again, and I shouldn't have just assumed you were coming with me.”

“Why did you think I would?” I asked, feeling my heart tie itself into a knot. I cared about him more than I had ever cared about anyone, but this wasn't a fight I could have over and over and over again.

“Because I would have gone for you,” he said, the words pouring out of him. “Because I love you, and I thought...I wasn't thinking at all. I want you, and I love you, and I need you with me, Mara.”

I stared at him, frozen with shock, my hands flying to my mouth.

“I love you too,” I choked out. But when was love ever enough? “But Cade, I understand that you like adventure, and I don’t want to stop you from living your dreams. I don’t want you to not go to Beijing if that’s what you want. But there's so much I need to do, so much, and if you can't—”

“Pick a place.”

“What?”

“Pick a place, anywhere in the world. I don't care if it's Bangkok or Paris or Ulaanbaatar. I don't care if you want to stay for a week, a month, a year, or even an hour. I don’t care about going to Beijing—I don’t care about going to any one place. It was never about going to Beijing, it was about going somewhere together, so we could have an adventure together. So we could start a life together. I understand why you think this is just like ten years ago, but I promise you I get it now. So name any place. I will take us there, and I will stay with you. Just...please, Mara. Believe me.”

I stared at him, and it all clicked into place. I could see now that my past hurt may have spurred my anger the night before—it had just felt so familiar. But things were different now—Cade was different now. I knew this wouldn’t be our last fight, and that we might each still have a bit of pain from our past to work through, but I couldn't resist him any longer. I threw myself into his arms, and all I could say was that I loved him over and over again. We could get through anything, together.

“Where to, princess?” he said, and his voice sounded as coarse as sandpaper. “Anywhere in the world, you name it. It's up to you, forever...”

“We can figure out a place together. That’s all I care about, that it’s you and me, together. Anywhere in the world, as long as I'll be with you,” I whispered, and I knew that that was the most important thing.