There should be a limit to how much a person can handle. Today has definitely been mine. I watch as Wolf empties another glass. He’s getting trashed. I understand it. He loved my dad. But, I have zero desire to stay around a drunk man. Actually, I don’t want to be around a man in general right now.

“I’m tired, Wolf. I’m going to go lay down.”

“We haven’t had the bonfire yet, Tor,” he responds, his words slurring just enough to tell me he really is drunk as hell. Wolf can handle his liquor—he can drink most men under the table, even my father. For him to slur means that he is drunker than I’ve ever seen him. Since I’ve known him my entire life, that’s saying something.

“I don’t really want to see the bonfire. That’s for the club. I don’t want to be here for that,” I tell him and it’s the God’s honest truth. I have no wish to see them burn my dad’s cut and say goodbye to him. I wanted to keep the cut and wrap it around me and smell him on it.

“I’ll take you back to your room,” he says and I bite down the urge to scream at him. I don’t want him to take me to my room. I want to be strong enough to take myself back to the room. The truth is, however, that on the few occasions that I’ve walked alone, I keep seeing shadows and hearing laughter. I feel like someone is following me…waiting to jump out and hurt me at any second. I disgust myself with how weak I’ve become, but I’ve not been able to shake it. Of course Wolf doesn’t give me much of a chance to try either and that’s both a blessing and a curse. He’s starting to smother me and I have a feeling that if I don’t try to be independent now, I will never be again.

“I’ll be fine. You need to be here to start the bonfire,” I tell him, hoping I’m right and I will be fine. “Besides, no one will bother me with me wearing your cut,” I remind him—since that’s the very reason he said I should wear it.

“I still want to take you back to the room, Tor. I don’t know some of these men from the other clubs, at least not well enough to trust them. It will take—”

“Hey Wolf, I was wondering if I could ask your advice on something? I’ve been admiring the way your courtyard is set up. The security is top-notch,” that man from earlier—Diesel—says, suddenly appearing behind me.

I look around for Devil, but I don’t see him anywhere. Maybe he left… That’s for the best. For a second, Wolf’s hand tightens on me and then relaxes.

“It will have to wait. I’m going to take Torrent to—”

“Red can take me,” I compromise, wanting to get away. I don’t want to see Devil and part of me is scared with his buddy so close that he will show up. I’ve had enough today… more than enough.

“Sweetheart…”

“I’m fine. Besides, Red is probably more sober than you at this point.” I force myself to smile up at him, to soften the words to make it seem like I’m joking. Inside, I’m annoyed he’s drunk, which is unfair, but I needed my friend today and when he’s drunk, being around him just doesn’t feel the same.

I’m too afraid now to risk being around someone who doesn’t have control…

Wolf leans down and kisses my forehead and motions to Red. I avoid Diesel’s eyes and I walk away.

I really want tonight over with.

Red and I walk back to my room in silence. That’s nothing new; Red and I never talked much with each other. I try to concentrate on walking and ignoring the moving shadows or that feeling like someone is going to jump out of the darkness and hurt me. That alone is exhausting. There’s a part of me wondering if I will ever feel normal again.

Somehow I doubt it.

We make it to my door and I open it with a heartfelt sigh.

“Thanks, Red.”

“Lock the door behind me, Tor. It’s our club, so you should be safe, but there’s too many unknowns here tonight to be entirely sure.”

“Got it,” I tell him, but I want to laugh. If he only knew how quickly I lock doors and windows these days.

“Good enough. Night, girl,” he says. I close the door on him, lock it and lean against it while I let my knees stop shaking.

A second later I feel the knob move and then hear footsteps walking away.

He checked to make sure I locked the door.

That should make me feel better. Instead, I kind of feel like a prisoner…