Chapter 22

After a quick shower they dozed on and off for another hour. The night had fallen a long time ago. It was still light outside but the heavy blackout drapes cocooned them in darkness. Light or dark, Alec was too keyed up to sleep. They were here on a mission of sorts, trying to ferret out the truth. A lot rode on this. His company’s reputation. His relationship with Astrid and the people at the vault.

None of that was responsible for the steady thrum of energy winding around him. The man Alec held to his chest claimed that honor. Gaige tipped Alec’s world sideways. He took everything Alec knew and the plans he had for himself and shook them. Scrambled everything until Alec felt rattled and unclear about what to do next.

Gaige brushed his fingers over Alec’s chest. “May I ask you something?”

This wasn’t a surprise. Alec had seen this conversation coming. He didn’t even have to wait to hear the topic. Gaige was inquisitive. He might tread carefully but he wouldn’t just let some huge piece of information go by him.

Alec balanced his free arm behind his head. “About my dad, right?”

“Astrid mentioned him. You’ve hinted at trouble and said something about a takeover.” Gaige flattened his palm against Alec’s chest. “I guess I can go behind your back and look it up but I don’t really want to.”

With anyone else Alec would shut this down. He’d done it before. People asked. Every now and then the press would bring it all up. Some of the articles about him being a bachelor would mention his messed-up family past. Skip the rumors, but not the hard facts.

Instead of shuttering the topic or getting defensive, Alec took a deep breath. He waited for his mind to go blank and the anger to take over, but the warmth from Gaige’s hand seeped into him. Having him so close, being able to skim his lips over Gaige’s hair, soothed Alec. This one time he didn’t want to run or ignore or yell his way out of this.

“After my sister died my mom shut down. Like, she wouldn’t get out of bed. I’d find her sitting on the floor of my sister’s bedroom, holding a shirt. Just rocking back and forth.” The words spilled out of Alec. He’d expected halting sentences that he had to choke out, but that didn’t happen.

“Depression.”

“The type where you’re drowning. That’s how she’d explain it. This suffocating darkness where everything hurt.” The memory of his mother’s soft voice ran through his mind. A familiar ache at having been too late started to throb. “My father wasn’t the most compassionate man before my sister’s suicide. He went full-scale asshole after. Blamed my mom for not seeing the signs. Blamed her for being upset. Cheated on her, then got so used to cheating that he started stealing from the company, because why the hell not.”

“Jesus.” Gaige rubbed his cheek against Alec’s chest.

The rough scruff provided just enough friction for Alec to push forward. The story had so many pieces, all of them horrible. “He and his brother had this elaborate scheme, including what amounted to committing fraud on government contracts.”

It wasn’t until right at that moment that Alec realized their stories shared some features. They’d both had their lives upended by lies and betrayal committed by others. They’d both depended on people who screwed them over.

For Alec, that made him hard and unbending. He didn’t trust easily and didn’t have any interest in changing. The road had been just as tough for Gaige, continued to be, but he didn’t shut down. He said he did, and he probably held back and hid, but when the chance came and they got together, Gaige wasn’t the one giving no-strings lectures.

Every time Alec growled or raised his voice Gaige took it in stride. He backed Alec down when most people couldn’t.

“Were you working for the family at that time?” Gaige asked.

“I was fresh out of business school and not hurting for ego.” People who thought he was an asshole now should have seen him back then. He’d had just enough education to be dangerous, but he lacked experience and nuance. Alec liked to think he’d gained both. “I came in with big ideas, not knowing none of it mattered because my father had long abandoned any real future for the company.”

“You figured out what he did?”

“After a few years. I worked behind his back, uncovered the falsified documents. My mom died around that time. A mix of too many pills and breathtaking heartache.” The memories ran together, each one worse than the last. All that pain. How he couldn’t eat and threw himself into the business to escape the tightening sensation in his chest. “I was furious that my father hadn’t stepped up. He’d basically hidden my mother from us, but we let him do it. So, in a mix of fury and guilt I buried myself in work, and that’s when I figured it out. My dad and his brother.”

“Shit.” Gaige turned his head and placed a kiss on Alec’s chest.

He didn’t make a move to get closer or insist on more information. It was a comforting gesture that let Alec know Gaige was there for him. Other than his brothers and Tony, no one filled that role for him.

“I worked there for two years before seeing the issue. Then it took me another two years to get everything in place, but then I launched the hostile takeover and that was the end of the father-son relationship.” Doing the right thing meant Alec shredded any connection. Spent nights worrying he’d lose his brothers, too, but they supported him. He could still remember that freeing feeling when Griff made the announcement in the middle of a family fight that the brothers would stick together no matter what.

“What about your uncle?”

That was the worst of it. He was one person Alec had thought he could trust and he’d been pretty fucking wrong. “Like your ex, he did a better job of covering his fingerprints. I went to him, thinking he’d help with getting rid of my dad.” Alec hesitated, not sure if he should fill in this blank. The piece of information no one except a few knew. “He tried to kill me instead.”

“What?” Gaige lifted his head and looked up at Alec. The shock and anger were right there in his eyes. But not at him. For him.

“I told you it was a dysfunctional family history.”

Gaige shifted until he balanced his upper body on his elbow. “What happened?”

“I shot him in the leg to get him to stop. It became part of my reputation and the gossip.” His part did. No one ever knew his uncle had launched first. People assumed Alec was trying to eliminate the competition. Little did they know. “The last time I saw him was right after I found out my dad had cancer, when my uncle kicked me out of his hospital room.”

“Were you and your brothers ever estranged?”

Some of the anger that shot up and clouded Alec’s brain whenever he talked about this subject cleared. “Never. I refused to let that happen. More importantly, they refused.”

Gaige sighed as he shook his head. “So that’s where the rumor about you killing someone came from.”

Alec wasn’t surprised Gaige knew that rumor. It played a big role in people viewing him as a hardass. “That and a competitor died in a plane crash. I had nothing to do with it, but with the timing so close to the business takeover, people made up their own version of events.”

Gaige stared at him then. Looked and didn’t flinch. “And you had nothing to do with the death of your sister’s attacker?”

Alec felt something inside him deflate. This was a harder story. Alec had guilt, not excuses, on this. “Actually…”

Gaige’s eyebrow rose. “Alec?”

He’d been filled with rage back then. He’d felt nothing but this pounding need for vengeance. The only thing that ran through his mind back then was that the kid should pay, and when the court system couldn’t make it happen, Alec’s sole existence, his reason to get up in the morning and what he thought might make it better for his mother, was to know the guy paid a price.

“I hounded him.” Alec stopped, waiting to see if Gaige’s expression changed. If revulsion crept in. When Gaige listened without moving an inch, Alec started again. “I made sure people knew, talked about it and understood how dangerous he was. When he ran his car into a tree, I didn’t mourn. Even when it was ruled a suicide.”

“I guess not.”

The tone had regret slamming into Alec. He’d gone too far. Gaige could be expected to forgive only so much. Hell, Alec couldn’t forgive himself for this one.

“I’ve never pretended to be a good man,” Alec said over the strange lump in his throat.

Gaige moved then. He shifted until his body covered Alec’s again. They met chest to chest and their legs slipped over each other as he stared down into Alec’s eyes. “You are.”

“How can you say that after what I just told you? I did push my father out. I did miss the signs with my sister and my mother. And I taunted that kid, knowing what might happen.” Despite the harsh words Alec wrapped his arms around Gaige’s waist and held on. “That’s not the end of my list of sins either.”

Gaige smiled then. “You’re trying to convince me you’re a jerk?”

“I’m being honest.”

“Things happen to us, Alec. We deal. We fail. We make terrible choices. We go too far and have regrets.” Gaige dropped a quick kiss on Alec’s surprised mouth. “I hate to tell you this but as far as I can see, you’re flawed and imperfect and totally human. Welcome to the fucking club.”

Alec couldn’t even describe the sensation that moved through him. It washed away some of the darkness. Eased some of the ache. “Not shooting you in my server room when I had the chance was the best decision I’ve ever made.”

“Spoken like a man who’s ready for round two.”

“Now you’re talking.”