NINETEEN
TEASE
FIX
My phone was ringing. I was running, though, so I didn’t have time to answer it. I held onto Sera’s hand as we tore through the garden behind the hotel, breathing hard between bouts of laughter and trying to scream at one another. “You’re fucking insane!” Sera yelled. “Why did you do that? Gareth’s richer than god. He’s going to press charges if you don’t apologize.”
“I’m not fucking apologizing to that prick. He deserved far worse, believe me.”
“Why? What did he do?”
Ah, shit. I’d decided I wasn’t going to tell her what Gareth had said this morning. I was going to keep the whole thing to myself. “He wasn’t very nice. That’s all.”
“Fix.” Sera stopped running and pulled her hand out of mine. “What did he say?”
“He said something about not cheating on you with Arianna. And that you had a lot of baggage.”
“And what else? I know him. He wouldn’t have stopped there.”
“He said your father interfered with you when you were a kid.”
“Wow.” Sera’s brows shot up in unison. “Don’t sugar coat it, will you?”
“How else am I meant to say that?” I shrugged. “Would you prefer it if I hugged you? Stroked your hair and danced around it, cooing in your ear until I finally spat it out? Sera, I’m so sorry… He said you and father… Well…and I don’t want to offend you, but… Everything’s okay, I promise… This is a safe space, but… Gareth said your father might have…” I took out my pack of smokes and lit one. “Which version’s better?” I asked, gripping the cigarette between my teeth as I slid the pack into my back pocket.
Sera held out her hand. “Give me one of those.”
“Why? You smoke all of a sudden?”
“Just give me one, asshole.”
I gave her the cigarette I’d already lit. There was something so fucking sexy about watching her put her lips around the filter. Highly sexual. Sera exhaled a cloud of smoke, scowling at me. “Fair enough. You’re right. I’d fucking hate it if you tried to baby me. I guess I’m just not used to people spitting it out like that.”
I didn’t ask her the question that was burning in the back of my mind: did her father actually do it? If she wanted to tell me, she’d tell me in her own time. Sera hadn’t really offered up much about herself to me at all, and I wasn’t one to wheedle information out of people unless they were willing to give it. I could blame hours spent sitting in a confessional booth for that. “Shoot from the hip, remember,” I said, extending my fingers, gesturing that I wanted the smoke back. She returned it.
“Yeah. I should never be surprised by anything that comes out of your mouth, should I? Nothing’s off limits. Nothing is sacred.”
“That’s not true. Plenty of things are sacred.”
“Like my cunt?” She arched an eyebrow, and I couldn’t stop myself; I laughed, blowing smoke down my nose.
“Yes. Your cunt is very sacred to me. If you’d only let me worship it some more, you’d make me a very happy man.”
“Bullshit. You said all of that for show back there.”
I grabbed her hand and walked her through a gap in a fence that looked like it marked the perimeter of the hotel gardens. The sun was still hanging above the horizon, about half an hour from setting, and it cast long fingers of burning golden light over the tall grasses that spread out like a thick carpet before us. A huge live oak to our right was the only tree for about a mile; in the distance, the forest that surrounded the hotel thrust up toward the sky—a loom of a thousand different greens, ranging from verdant and bright spring jade, to rich flashes of deep, Irish emerald. It was the first time I’d caught myself stopping to admire the beauty of nature in a very, very long time. The kind of people I dealt with on the regular made the world seem like a dark, corrupt, shitty place. I hadn’t wanted to believe in beauty, hadn’t wanted to see it, for the longest time, because it made all of the vile, awful things that happened out there behind closed doors, down badly lit side streets, and under railway passes all the more ugly. But with Sera standing next to me, in that moment, I couldn’t deny how breathtaking the view was.
“I didn’t say anything for show,” I told her quietly. “It was all true. Now I’m going to take you over to that tree, Sera, and I’m going to make you ride my face until you come in my mouth. Any objections?”
“Jesus.” She flicked the cigarette, dropping it to the ground, grinding the butt beneath her heel. “You’re never going to stop, are you?”
“No. Never. You were right. I did believe you when you said you’d keep my secrets. I knew it was doomed, that there was no chance we were going to go anywhere, but I was curious about you, Sera Lafferty. I wanted more time with you. It was fucked up and selfish, I know that. But I’m a fucked up, selfish guy. You’ve probably already figured that out. So, I won’t keep you hostage anymore. You can let me drive you back to Seattle, and you can let all of this sink in a little. Or you can tell me to go fuck myself and I’ll leave right now. Tonight. You won’t ever see me again. It’s all up to you, Sera. I’ll abide by your wishes. But…” I turned, cupping her chin in my hand, lifting her head so that she was looking up at me. Her gaze was intense, stripping me bare. “I still want you to ride my fucking face,” I growled. “I need to make you come one more time. I know you want me just as much as I want you. It’s eating you alive inside. It’s consuming you piece by piece. I’m your addiction, just as much as you’re mine. I’m toxic for you. I know that. If I were a better man, I’d let you go. But I’m not. I’m fallen, lost, driven by revenge and hatred. I’ll do whatever I can to keep you with me, and that includes fucking the sense right out of you until you can’t think straight.”
I waited for her to answer. If she looked away from me, I would know. The moment she sighed, or folded her arms across her body, or took a step away from me, she would have already told me what she wanted. But she didn’t do any of those things. Her eyes were bright and conflicted. If she were anyone else, I’d take her, lift her into my arms, and I’d carry her over to that tree and fuck the shit out of her. She wasn’t someone else, though. She was the woman with the defensive wounds on her hands. The jagged, deep line of purple scar tissue along her jaw. She was the warrior woman with the dents in her armor, her battles still raging, pain in her eyes, and I wouldn’t make assumptions with her. I would wait. I would kneel at her goddamn feet until she told me she wanted me, and I wouldn’t move an inch until then, regardless of how badly I wanted to claim her.
“You just told me you’d never baby me,” she said softly. “I can see what you’re thinking. I’m not broken. I’m not a bird with an injured wing. I have a past, and it’s tricky, and it often visits me in my dreams, but I’m still kicking ass, Fix. So…if you want me, try and take me. I’ll kick your ass if I don’t want your hands on me.”
“It’d be much easier if you just said yes,” I rumbled.
She cocked her head to one side, her full lips bowing into a broad smile. “Would finding out for yourself not be worth a potential kick to the balls?” She was so damn sweet when she said it, but I could see it in her eyes—she’d knee me in the balls for sure, and wouldn’t think twice about it.
My answer to her question was to bring my mouth crashing down on hers. I couldn’t bear it anymore. Whatever happened, I needed to taste her. I need to feel her tits crushed up against my chest. I needed her tongue in my mouth, and I needed her to make those panting, desperate little whimpering sounds when I slide my hand down inside her jeans and I rubbed my fingers over her clit in tight little circles.
Gathering her loose, wavy hair in my hands, I dug my fingers into the thickness of it, groaning. Sera froze for a moment. Time stretched out, driving me to madness as I waited to see what she would do. The moment she tried to shove me away, I would remove myself from her. I’d bind my own hands behind my back with sheer force of will alone, and I wouldn’t touch her anymore. I was ready, willing and prepared to do that. Dipping my tongue into her mouth, Sera’s lips parted a little wider, and then…
Fuck…
And then she was winding her arms around me, her hands sliding up my back, fingernails digging into my shoulder blades through my t-shirt. She kissed me back, her mouth pressing against mine, the sweet taste of her filling my senses, and a fire erupted inside me, raging through my veins. I’d done some stupid, messed up things as a teenager. I’d done equally stupid, reckless things after I’d thrown down my collar and walked right out of St. Luke’s, but nothing in my life had ever gotten me as high as Sera Lafferty. She was the light that flowed in my veins. She was the oxygen in my lungs. She was the fuel that fired my heart.
I’d only been in her presence for forty-eight hours, but I’d known, the very first time I’d seen her…
Fuck.
It was too early to tell her how alive she made me feel, so I nursed the words I might have said to her in my chest, harboring them there, keeping them safe. There would come a time when I could part with them, but for now I was going to take her out of herself. I’d use every part of me to make her come alive, and when she was done screaming my fucking name, I’d thrust my cock into her and make her do it all over again. I wasn’t going to hold back now. I wasn’t going to handle her with kid gloves.
It was harder than it should have been to rip my mouth from hers and hurry her over to the oak. The tree’s trunk was broad and thick, too wide for three people to link hands wrap their arms around in a circle. I guided Sera so that her back was up against the tree, and then I slid down her body. She didn’t move as I unfastened her jeans and tore them down her legs.
“God, Fix! Someone’s going to see us!”
I looked up her body, a deep, animal need searing at me from the inside. “Do you really care?” I asked. “If those stuffy bastards catch sight of us, it’ll probably be the most exciting thing that’s happened to any of them in decades.”
“Amy’s going to kill me,” she groaned, allowing her head to roll back to rest against the tree, too. I tugged her boots off her feet and threw them over my shoulders into the grass, one at a time, then removed her jeans entirely. Her panties were black silk, classy yet sexy. At either side, by her hips, I hooked my fingers beneath the sheer, sleek material, and I slowly shimmied them down her long, toned, beautiful legs.
“Fuck. Sera…if I’d met you five years ago…shit.”
“You were…still a priest then,” she panted.
“I was. And I would have broken every vow I’d made for you. I would have cast every belief I had aside. I would have abandoned my calling and run with you as far as I fucking could, and I never would have looked back. Not once. You’re the ultimate game changer.”
Sera parted her legs. She wasn’t a shy little kitten anymore. She’d grown brave; she was a lioness now, giving demands, and I fucking loved it. Her pussy was smooth bar a thin strip of hair. I loved that, too. A shaved pussy was one of my biggest turn-ons, but not completely hair-free. That felt wrong, like I was sleeping with a prepubescent kid, and I was going to get sprung for statutory rape. Sera was all woman, though. She wasn’t perfect. Her skin bore scars. Lots of them. Some were deep, and some shallow—mere hints at a history that intrigued and saddened me. In her flawed state, she was perfection, though. I didn’t want a bubblegum princess who spent two hours every day curling her hair and was afraid of getting some fucking dirt under her nails. I wanted a woman who wasn’t afraid to fight for what she wanted. I wanted a rough and tumble woman who wouldn’t freeze if she felt threatened. I wanted strength, and I wanted fire, and I wanted passion, and Sera possessed all three in spades.
Dipping my head, I stroked my tongue over her bare pussy, and Sera shuddered. Her breathing was quickening by the second. She was sweet, and slick, and the moment I tasted her, I wanted to unbutton my own fly and start palming my cock, but my pants remained buttoned up. Didn’t stop my dick from straining against the denim, demanding a way out. It wanted to be squeezed and sucked. It wanted to be pushed down Sera’s throat, and holding back was going to cost me. Holy fuck, down boy. I bit back a frustrated groan, working my magic on Sera’s clit, relishing how fucking wet she was, and how she shuddered every time I flicked her with the end of my tongue.
Her breathing was fast and uneven. Music to my fucking ears. Meant I was doing my job right, and she was starting to loosen up. Her hips rocked forward, legs parting even wider, giving me greater access to her, and I lost my shit.
Wrapping my arms around her, I grabbed her ass from behind and pulled her to me. Her pussy was mine. Every inch of her was mine. I wanted to inhale and consume every part of her, until she had no comprehension of what was real and what wasn’t anymore.
Sera panted, winding her fingers into my hair.
Yes.
Fucking yes.
So. Fucking. Hot.
When she started pulling and tugging on my hair, I nearly swept her off her feet and slammed her into the grass there and then, so I could thrust myself inside her.
Innocent girls were all well and good. Sometimes, dominating a woman in bed felt great, and was the only way I could fucking come, but not with Sera. I didn’t want to dominate her. I wanted to be her equal. I wanted her to let me know what she wanted. When she tightened her grip on my hair, rocking her hips against my mouth, I took the hint: she wanted more.
So I fucking gave her more.
I gave her my tongue inside her pussy. I licked and laved at her expertly, and I didn’t stop when she began to shiver with the beginnings of an orgasm. I gave her my fingers, pumping them inside her, teasing her g-spot as I sucked gently at her clit, and when her knees buckled out from underneath her and she couldn’t stand upright anymore, I gave her three seconds to recover herself before I laid her down and started all over again.
“Jesus, Fix! Oh my god!’ Her eyelids fluttered like crazy as she rocked herself against my face. “You’re…you’re going to make me come,” she gasped.
Was I ready for her to come? Nope. No fucking way. Just as she was about to tumble over the edge, her fingers clawing at my back, scratching the material of my t-shirt, I stopped.
“Oh my god,” Sera hissed. Her back was arched, head titled back, her tits straining against the ACDC shirt she was wearing—easily the most arousing thing I’d ever seen. I prowled up the length of her body slowly, enjoying the view as she writhed and twisted beneath me. My dick was throbbing in my pants, almost painful now. I was so fucking hard. Sera wasn’t going to know what the fuck had hit her when I finally unleashed myself on her.
“Open your eyes,” I commanded. Using my right hand, I held her lightly at the base of her throat—I wasn’t going to cut off her air supply. That would be fucking stupid, considering she was a likely victim of abuse, so I just held my hand there, waiting for her to respond. She obeyed my command, her eyelids flickering open to reveal those, warm, deep eyes that I’d become so besotted with.
“Tease,” she whispered. Her lips were plump and swollen, a darker, more sensual red than normal. I took her bottom lip between my teeth and I tugged, pulling at it, just enough that the pressure would sting a little.
“I haven’t even shown you the meaning of the word. I will, though, Sera. You don’t need to worry about that. I’m going to drive you to insanity. First, I need you naked. I need your skin on my skin, and I need it fucking now.” I grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up over her head. Her bra—pretty, lacey, also black—went next.
The moment her bare tits were exposed, bouncing as I tore away her clothes, all common sense vanished. My ears started buzzing, high-pitched like tinnitus. “Jesus…fucking…wept, Sera.”
Even lying on her back, her breasts were perky and full, her skin pale and creamy, like fine porcelain. My hands literally hurt—the prospect of not touching them was so traumatic that my skin buzzed with anticipation. Cupping her in both hands, I had to breathe deeply for a second. Control. I needed control. Fuck, no amount of will power in the world was going to hold me back now.
“I’m gonna get naked now, Sera,” I gritted out through my teeth. “I’m gonna do all the things I’ve been fantasizing about doing to you, and I swear to everything holy that you’re gonna fucking like it. You’re gonna come all over my cock. You’re gonna shake and moan, and your head’s gonna fucking spin, and I’m going to fucking adore it. Are you ready?”
She trembled, like her whole world was already shaking, being turned upside down, but her eyes were clear when she met my gaze and said, “Yes, Fix. I’m ready for you.”
******
SERA
I’d never been so wet in my entire life. Everywhere Fix touched me, his fingers and his mouth left a trail of fire in their wake. I’d given up reminding myself how stupid this was, and I’d succumbed to inevitability. That’s what this had been, from the beginning: inevitable. The draw between Fix and I was wild and confusing. I was never going to understand why I couldn’t seem to shake myself of this need for him, so… what was the point in even trying? I’d known for a while I was going to end up back here with him, entwined with him, losing myself in him again, and it felt divine. I’d surrendered myself to him, and the relief I experienced when it was I’d done it was monumental.
“Yes, Fix. I’m ready for you.” I breathed the words out, and I realized that I didn’t just mean right now, here, naked in this field. I meant that I was ready for him. All of him. His wicked tongue. His quicksilver eyes. His dark past. He was Pandora’s box, and I knew opening him was a bad idea. I wanted to know his secrets, though. I wanted to learn everything about him. I was willing to accept the risk that getting to know him properly would inexorably pose.
What kind of person took stock of a person like Fix and decided they wanted them in their lives? Who was I becoming? I didn’t know anymore, and that scared the shit out of me. All I knew was that Fix stirred such powerful, demanding desires within me, and I was helpless to fight them. We were a catastrophe waiting to happen, and I was walking into it with my eyes open. To hell with the consequences.
Fix had been hovering over me, picking me apart with forensic intensity. The muscles in his shoulders and his arms strained as he rocked himself backward, sitting on his heels first, and then rising to his feet. “Look at me,” he commanded. “Look at my body. Look how much I fucking want you, Sera.” His t-shirt came off first, swiftly followed by his shoes, socks and jeans. He didn’t have to remove his boxers, because he wasn’t wearing any. His cock sprang free, and I did as I was told—I witnessed just how badly Fix wanted to be inside me. He was rock solid and swollen. Fucking magnificent. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit!
I really must have drunk a lot the other night in the motel; the tequila sloshing around my system must have dulled my reaction when I’d seen Fix’s cock for the first time, but now I was clear-headed, and my immediate response was to close my legs. He was fucking huge. Not just in length, but in girth, too. Penises weren’t attractive to me in an aesthetic way, but Fix was kind of astonishing. If he put that thing inside me…
If he was rough with me, he was going to split me in two.
“Don’t look so frightened,” Fix murmured. He took his dick in his hand, squeezing the end, but he didn’t move his fist up and down his length. “I know what I’m doing. I made you feel fucking amazing last time, didn’t I?”
Swallowing, I nodded. “Yeah. But…fuck, Fix...”
A ruinous, wretched smile transformed his face. God, he was so sexy when he was so obviously thinking sordid thoughts. “Fuck is right,” he said. “Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Just get on your knees and open your goddamn mouth.”
My pussy tightened, an unbelievable wave of pleasure, feather-light, skating its way up my spine. I didn’t even know my body could react like that to mere words. It seemed Fix’s dirty mouth had a way of coaxing the darkness out in me. I got up onto my knees, my heart skipping all over the place like a needle jumping over a broken record. His cock was going in my mouth. He’d driven me to the edge of distraction with his tongue, and now it was my turn to return the favor. More than anything, I wanted to make him feel good. I wanted to make him quake and shiver, and to bring him to his fucking knees.
I’d do it. I’d make him fucking sweat.
I opened my mouth and Fix gathered my hair, sweeping it back over one shoulder. He cupped my face in his hand, stroking the pad of his thumb over the line of my cheekbone. “You’re fucking mine,” he groaned. “You don’t need to worry anymore. You’re safe. I won’t let anymore hurt you. I’ll fucking flay the skin off anyone who tries to lay a finger on you.”
It made no sense, but his words made me feel secure. Protected. Relieved. Fuck, how long had I felt like I was still running from something? I’d left Sixsmith in my rear-view nearly a decade ago, but there had always been an ominous dark cloud hanging over me. Fix blew that cloud right out of the sky.
He squeezed his dick, his hand slipping around to the base of my neck, guiding my head forward. I closed my mouth around the end of his cock, blowing a deep breath down my nose, and then slid him inside…
“Holy fucking shit!”
Looking up, I saw Fix’s head fall back, every single muscle in his chest, his stomach, his arms and his neck straining. He was indescribable. I just…I couldn’t even find the words to do him justice. His body was packed muscle, not a scrap of fat on him. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I teased my tongue around the head of his cock, sucking, sliding him further and further into my mouth, and Fix let out a deep, agonized, rumble. “Sera… Sera, shit! Your mouth… Fuck!”
I’d done my fair share of writhing and cursing under Fix’s ministrations, so to hear him do the same was rewarding. He reached down, palming one of my breasts, rolling my nipple, pinching it hard enough to make me whimper, and my reaction seemed to send him barreling toward the gates of madness.
“Fuck! Open your mouth, Sera. Take all of it. Take me deep. I want to feel the back of your throat while I fuck your mouth.”
I could barely breathe as he slid himself further past my lips. His hands were in my hair, tugging, not hard enough to cause pain, but hard enough to let me know he was in charge right now. I closed my eyes, wrapping my hand around his shaft, applying pressure to the base of his cock, too, and Fix roared. The sound echoed across the field, startling birds from their trees in the distant forest.
“Get on your back,” Fix ordered. “Open your legs for me. Show me your pussy. Show me your ass. I want to see it all.” He withdrew his cock from my mouth, and when I looked up, I saw the molten mercury of his eyes had hardened to sharp-edged steel. He was already imagining what it was going to feel like to fuck me. There was no doubting him, or how badly he needed me, but when I sank back into the grass, spreading my legs for him just as he’d told me to, he didn’t fall on top of me and take me right away. He sat back, hands by his sides, chest heaving, his cock still wet and glistening from my mouth, staring down at me with a level of appreciation that made me want to run and hide.
“You’re not real,” he whispered. “You can’t be.”
“I’m as real as you,” I answered breathlessly.
Fix swallowed. Carefully, he reached out, stroking his fingers over my pussy, sliding his index and his middle finger inside me. “If that’s the case, then fine. Neither one of us is real. Let’s be fucking make-believe together.”
He pumped his fingers inside me, slowly at first, as he positioned himself over me, supporting himself on just one hand. His mouth was on mine, his dark hair falling into my face as he kissed me, claiming me with his tongue, probing and exploring. He quickened his pace, then, working his fingers faster, grunting as I bucked and arched against him.
“You gonna come all over my fingers, Sera?” he growled into my ears.
“Ahh! Shit! Yes! Yes, I’m going to come!”
My vision turned white. Completely and utterly white, which was strange since I had my eyes closed. The muscles in my calves cramped like crazy as my climax tore through me like an unstoppable freight train.
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s it.” Fix held onto me, kissing my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder… He kissed me everywhere as I came, still thrusting his fingers inside me, until eventually I fell slack on the ground.
I was boneless and limp as Fix sat up, running a finger down my body, between my breasts, between my legs, making my skin break out into the goose bumps.
“I meant it, Angel,” he said slowly, his voice thick with lust. “The only finger food I wanted today…” Oh, god. I’d offered him a bite of that stupid kabob back in the ballroom, and he’d made a comment about licking his fingers clean after I’d come all over them. I couldn’t find my voice quick enough to object as Fix slid his fingers into his mouth, sucking on them.
Oh…my…god…
He was so fucking hot, I just couldn’t handle it anymore. “Please… Fix, please. I need you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside me. I want your cock.” I’d never pleaded with anyone before. I sure as shit hadn’t begged anyone for their dick, but Fix had a weird, profound, irrefutable effect on me; I did it without thinking.
A merciless, knowing laugh teased at my ear; Fix shoved my legs apart again, sinking between them. “Hold onto me, then,” he whispered. “Don’t let go. I’m about to give you what you need.”
And he did. I gasped as he drove himself into me, digging my fingers into his back. I couldn’t cry out. I couldn’t even breathe. For a second, all I could do was lie absolutely still as Felix Marcosa thrust his cock inside me. I was so full. His body, so much bigger than mine, enveloped me, and I was lost. With his arms around me, his mouth pressing down on mine, my breath mixing with his, hot and insistent, I ceased to exist. I broke apart, down to what felt like a molecular level, ready to drift away on the slight breeze that caressed our naked bodies.
This was so different to the motel room back in Liberty Fields. It was so much more. There was still so much for us to learn from one another, but this felt honest. Raw. Perfect. I clung to Fix as he fucked me, and I melted into him. His cock grew harder and harder every time he rocked his hips, driving himself deep inside me, and soon I was drowning in him, my senses overloaded, my heart racing away from me, my head spinning on its axis.
“Fix, I’m...I’m going to come. Oh, god…”
“Do it,” he snarled. “I want to feel it coursing through your body. I want to feel your pussy tighten around my cock when it takes you. Come for me, Sera. Come right now.”
I didn’t need a second invitation. The orgasm was an explosion; it went off inside my head and between my legs at the same time. I clawed at Fix’s shoulders, desperate to get closer to him as an incomprehensible surge of pure ecstasy swept through every cell in my body. “Fuck! Oh, fuck!”
Fix buried his face into the crook of my neck, groaning deeply, fighting with his breath as he slammed himself into me, over and over again. He came just as hard as me.
And when he came, the sound of his savage cry echoed so loudly that even the stars, tiny pinpricks of flickering light, just beginning to appear in the darkening sky overhead, seemed to tremble and shake.