“It’s not going to hurt you to go clubbing,” Thor insisted, putting on a puppy dog face that should be internationally illegal. His friend had turned up thirty minutes earlier, interrupting the meal Lasse had lovingly prepared for his mate, dressed to kill in leather pants that outlined all of his assets and a top that didn’t meet his waistband. “I miss my wingman. I know you two won’t be interested in doing anything more than making googly eyes at each other but come on. You’re mated, not dead. Help a guy out here.”
As if Thor needed anyone with him to get a fuck for the night. Lasse looked at Jason, who shrugged. “I can’t promise to be completely sociable,” Jason said. “Clubs aren’t really my thing, but if you two want to go, then I’m happy to tag along. Although,” he winked and Lasse could see the humor in his eyes, “The last time I went dancing Tutankhamun was a boy. I don’t want to disappoint you, my mate.”
Lasse smiled at Thor’s look of triumph. “Did you have somewhere in particular in mind to go tonight, or are you winging that too? I’m not sure a fight club is a good idea, even if I did meet my mate in one.”
“Which is why you owe me, big time.” Thor looked like he was thinking about his destination, but Lasse knew better.
“Thor,” he warned. “This had better not be like that time you decided to try hooking up on a random new club on Olympus and I almost had my face eaten off by a slug.”
“No, nothing like that. This place is on earth, it’s just, you might want to change.”
“Into something like what you’re wearing?” Jason slammed down his knife and fork. “My mate’s got more class than that.”
Lasse felt his cheeks heat up enough to fry an egg as Thor laughed. “Lasse was never one to flaunt his assets,” Thor gasped, trying to contain himself. “It’s a wonder he ever got laid at all.”
“That’s not something we talk about,” Lasse said quickly as Jason picked up his knife again. “The past stays in the past when you meet your mate, Thor, something I’m sure you’ll find out very soon. Now, where are we going?”
“There’s nothing wrong with the place,” Thor said quickly. “It’s just your typical private nightclub in London. I’ve been there before. There’s a mix of people. It’s gay friendly so you don’t have to worry about homophobes. The drinks are a bit pricey but that’s the price you pay for somewhere exclusive and it’s not as though money’s an issue for any of us.”
“If you’ve been there before, then why do need for us to go with you now?” Lasse picked up the plates they’d used and stepped around into the kitchen, placing them in the sink. Then he groaned and looked back at his friend who was striving for an innocent expression and not succeeding. “You’ve already fucked and dumped someone important there and you need us as a cover for you, don’t you? I’m not pretending to be your boyfriend, again. The last time that happened there was a huge fight before we got thrown out. I never could get those red wine stains out of my good shirt.”
“Sounds to me, like you need a new circle of friends,” Jason said drily as he brought around the last of the dishes. “Thor seems like a trouble magnet no matter where he goes.”
“No pining lovers, nothing like that. The place is very upmarket.” Thor probably thought putting his hands in his pocket would make him seem more relaxed, but it didn’t work because he couldn’t get them in there. His pants were that tight. “It’s just people might have got the idea I’m a famous Hollywood actor and I got a lot of raised eyebrows last time when I didn’t have my entourage with me.”
“Your entourage?” Lasse caught Jason’s eye and they both burst out laughing. “My gods, Thor,” Lasse wiped his face when he could finally stop. “Two people don’t make an entourage – what on earth did you tell these new friends of yours?”
“They’re not friends; they’re just hangers on who like to be around famous people. I just thought, seeing as I decided to go as my sparkly self, you two could do the whole dressed in black thing and stand around looking staunch like my bodyguards.”
“Bodyguards?” Lasse looked at Jason who looked like he was ready to keel over laughing again. “And we have to wear black – like suits and things. Do we get earpieces too?”
“Hey,” Thor shrugged, looking affronted. “I just thought it would be a fun night out. You don’t have to mock my ideas. I’m starting to think Jason’s a bad influence on you.”
“Lasse is his own man and always has been,” Jason said firmly. “But if you want a night of role playing, fine. I don’t have a problem with it. Bodyguards help keep unwanted attention away from their employer, but that’s pretty much all they do, at least when their client is a god. I’m sure it won’t be that difficult. In fact, I think it will be fun. Don’t you think it could be fun, poopsie?”
Poopsie? My man is up to something. Lasse could see the gleam in Jason’s eye. “Yes,” he said, leaving the plates in the sink. “Let’s play bodyguard. I’m sure it’ll be a fun evening.”
/~/~/~/~/
The club was extremely upmarket, with a champagne fountain by the bar and six, count them, six extremely smart young men pouring drinks behind the counter with speed, efficiency, and very little flair. The patrons were much like Jason expected – rich snobs who’d probably never worked a day in their lives. There were more diamonds and cleavage on show than at a drag show, and the men all looked as though a hard day’s work would put them in bed for a week. Thor created quite a stir when they arrived, but he and Lasse pushed through the crowds, keeping people back, until they arrived at Thor’s reserved VIP table.
And then they kept people back, much to Thor’s annoyance. If Thor had only been at the club once before, he’d made a big impression on the locals. But anytime anyone but the waiter approached, Jason blocked the table and shook his head. Lasse quickly caught on and was doing the same and within half an hour the crowd was buzzing, and Thor was fuming.
“Hey,” Thor hissed when Jason sent away two fine looking men who could well be twins, and who spent a lot of time looking over their shoulder as they walked away. “I am here to have a good time, or did you forget that?”
“Not at all, sir.” Jason turned to another couple, a man and woman this time who approached the table. “Can I help you?”
“We wish to see Mr. Lawrence. We’re dear friends of his. Let us pass.” The man made to push passed Jason and Jason just planted his boots more firmly on the floor.
“I’m sorry, sir, but Mr. Lawrence is here for rest and relaxation. I’m sure you understand.”
“Now look here, I don’t know who you work for, but we’re personal friends of the actor. Let us pass this instant.”
“Is there a problem here?” Lasse’s shoulders brushed with Jason’s and he had to admit they made an intimidating pair.
“This bearded lout won’t let me through. I demand to speak to Mr. Lawrence.” The man blustered, and Jason could see they were attracting a crowd.
Ignoring them, Jason said in aside to Lasse, “If they were personal friends of his, don’t you think they’d know his real name?”
“Oh, I agree,” Lasse’s eyes were twinkling although he kept his lips in a straight line. “The Boss hasn’t given us any instructions about letting anyone through.”
“See,” Jason said holding out his hands at the affronted couple. “No one can see him. Sorry. Move on please. There’s no need to cause a scene.”
“Do you have any idea who I am?” The woman wrapped what looked like a fox fur around her neck more tightly as she gave a look Jason knew was supposed to intimidate him.
Instead, he leaned his arm on Lasse’s shoulder. “Do you ever wonder why people ask that question – who I am? Surely, commonsense dictates if I knew who the person was I’d address them by name. I have got manners; but no, these people run around with their noses in the air as though they are some kind of god or something.”
Lasse’s lips twitched but he quickly caught it. “They’ll threaten us with the authorities next, or demand to know who pays our wages so they can get us fired. Just shows a lack of breeding if you ask me.”
“Wait a minute,” the man’s face was getting redder and redder. “Did you just insult me and my wife?”
“You two are married?” Lasse looked at Jason and it was Jason’s turn to keep his expression stoic. “Then there’s no way you can speak to the boss, nah. Not going to happen. The boss is looking to get laid and he doesn’t do that with married people. Move on.”
“Wait, what – you can’t do this. I’m a member of the British Broadcasting Service and I have a proposition for Mr. Lawrence.”
“See, that’s why he hired us. Boss just can’t get any peace and quiet,” Jason said. “Move on and this is the last time I will ask politely.”
“Oh, you, you bearded heathen,” the woman exclaimed but Jason flexed his shoulders and her and her husband beat a hasty retreat.
As soon as they had moved far enough away, Jason looked over his shoulder. Thor was drumming his fingers on the booth back and his jaw was tight. “Having fun, boss? Don’t you think we’re doing a good job?”
“Fine,” Thor hissed. “I will never ask you to come along as my bodyguards again. Now please, will you let me see some people or I’m never going to get laid?”
“Do you think he’s learned his lesson?” Jason asked Lasse.
Lasse looked at his watch. “Another hour should do it. Look at that couple over there – do you think her dress was made that way or is he getting lucky?”
“Guys, I can’t see anything. You two make a damn effective wall,” Thor’s plaintive voice came over the music.
“Which couple? Oh yeah, I see them.” Jason shook his head. “It’s a bit early in the night for that sort of behavior don’t you think? There’s a lot of flesh showing. Must be why they don’t allow paparazzi in here. Oh, look at those two going at it, over there.” He pointed to the far side of the club.
“Guys, I said I won’t ask you to do this again.” There was a thunk and Jason risked a quick look over his shoulder. Yep, Thor’s head was banging the table. Looking back at the crowd, Jason leaned slightly on Lasse’s shoulder and watched London’s rich and elite make right fools of themselves. There were worse ways of spending the evening.