CHAPTER SEVEN

Nacole

I pace my small living room, wringing my hands together. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have agreed to this. Garret called me a couple of hours ago, asking if I would go with him to a party at Brody’s. Said it wasn’t him asking me out, that it was as friends, and they all wanted me there. I agreed, and I’ve spent the last two hours questioning that decision.

Dressed in a navy cotton dress and a pair of flats, I left my hair down, no makeup on. Not that I’d brought any with me, even if I wanted to wear it. Graham always insisted I was done up to the nines everywhere we went, saying I looked better that way. Now I hate makeup and relish the fact that I never have to wear it if I don’t want to.

Heading back into my kitchen, I grab a bottle of water and down half of it in a few gulps, hands shaking. I shouldn’t be nervous, but I am.

Sitting down at the tiny table I bought earlier this week, I take a few deeps breaths, trying to reassure myself.

You know Garret.

He’s a good guy.

You’re safe with him.

Brody is your boss.

You’re safe.

When there’s a knock at my front door, I look out the peephole to see Garret standing there, hands in his front pockets. Letting out a sigh of relief, I unlock the several locks and pull the door open. Dressed in a pair of tight jeans, boots, and a gray shirt, he’s out-of-this-world gorgeous.

His curly hair has been cut recently, brushed back and off his face. His blue eyes bore into mine, lips turned up in a smile as he takes me in.

“What?” I ask, brushing my hair off my shoulders.

“You look beautiful,” he states, and my cheeks heat at the compliment.

Reaching over to the couch for my purse, I step outside and close the door behind me, locking it tight.

“Let’s roll, darlin’.”

Walking me over to the passenger side of his Jeep, he opens the door for me and I hop inside, pulling the seat belt over me. Garret climbs in and does his own buckle, turning to me with a smile.

“What?” I ask again, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Nothing. I’m just really glad you’re coming tonight is all.”

“Me too,” I tell him honestly.

Starting the engine, he backs out of my driveway and we’re on our way. The drive is short, country music playing quietly in the background. He tells me we’re almost there, and I lean forward to turn up the music. Blake Shelton has always been one of my favorites, and this song is one of my most adored songs. Singing along quietly, I almost miss Garret staring over at me while we wait for the stoplight. When we pull into Brody’s driveway a few minutes later, he parks and turns to me.

“So, remember how I said you needed to see a concert?”

“Yeah, I do. Why?”

“Well, I got us tickets to that festival I was talking about. It’s next Thursday.”

“Okay?”

Garret shakes his head at me, chuckling. “I’m taking you, okay?”

“We’ll see, buddy.”

Climbing down, I shut the door behind me and come around the hood, Garret meeting me halfway. He offers me his arm and I laugh, linking mine through his. His warm skin against mine has butterflies dancing in my stomach, and my skin prickles. His left hand comes down to cover mine and we walk inside.

“Hey, fucker, we’re here!” he shouts, and I look at him in surprise.

“Garret, that’s not exactly the kindest way to introduce us,” I gasp.

He laughs loudly. “Just you wait.”

Brody strolls in a second later, beer bottle in hand. “Hey, twatsicle. Glad you could grace us with your not-so-lovely presence.”

Garret lets go of my arm and steps toward Brody, grabbing him into a headlock. They horse around for just a moment, and then Garret drapes his arm around his brother’s shoulders, looking at me with a grin.

“Nacole, glad you came,” Brody says. I thank him as Garret reaches out for me.

Excusing us, I follow him out back to the kitchen, where a large porch is attached. We step outside to the deck and find everyone waiting on us. Music is playing from a set of speakers, and I see Lindsey down on the grass, talking to another set of couples.

Garret offers me a beer and I shake my head. I haven’t touched alcohol in years, and I don’t plan to. Alcohol makes people angry, and anger leads to hurt. I don’t ever want to turn into somebody I’m not—I already have a hard enough time just being me. He offers me a soda from the cooler and I take it with a smile, following him down to where everyone is.

“Nacole!” Lindsey shrieks, and I laugh when she bolts over to me, giving me a hard hug. Leaving her arm around my shoulders, she walks me over to everyone. “Girl, this is Hunter Daniels and his wife, Carmen. And that’s Grayson Michaels and his wife, Kennedy.”

They all wave and say hello, and I do the same, slightly intimidated. Their wives are drop-dead gorgeous, and Grayson is huge, at least six-four. No part of me fits in here, but they all seem nice and I tell myself to relax. This could be a lot of fun if I could just calm down and stop overthinking things.

Taking a sip of my drink, I follow Lindsey and the other girls to a table they have set up. Settling into a chair, I look over my shoulder, finding Garret watching me with a smile. He winks and I flush before turning to face the girls.

“Oh, girl. That guy is just smitten with you,” Lindsey giggles, and I shake my head.

“We’re just friends,” I concede, running my finger around the top of the can.

“For now,” Kennedy jokes.

I smile, but in my head I disagree.

Just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.

§

I’m so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and came tonight. I’ve been having the most amazing time, and everyone here is awesome. I really jive well with the girls, and they’ve kept me plenty entertained telling me stories about their husbands. We’ve eaten dinner, and now the guys are down in the backyard playing cornhole while us girls lounge by the table, watching them and chatting up a storm.

Carmen is next to me, and she and I get along best. I really like her, and I’m drawn to her. I haven’t the faintest clue why, but she reminds me so much of myself. Plus, we’re about the same age.

“So, how did you all meet?” I ask, folding my legs under me.

“Well,” Kennedy starts, “I met Gray when our best friends started dating. That would be Noah and Aubrey. Noah is Carmen’s older brother, and they’re all firefighters a couple towns over.”

“I met Hunter a few months after I moved home from college. I was working in a bakery a couple streets over from the firehouse when he came in to get breakfast for the guys.” Carmen reaches for the bottle of wine on the table and pours herself a glass.

“They met Brody when they started frequenting Walker’s,” Lindsey says.

“They seem great,” I tell them, and their eyes light up when they look over at the guys.

Garret has kept his distance from me since we got here, respecting my space, and I can’t help feel a twinge of jealousy at these women. Not only are they all smart and beautiful, but they have incredible men, and happy lives. It wasn’t something I ever thought I would want again, but sitting here now, I realize I do. And I think I want that with Garret. But that’s too big a risk for me. What if we get close and he changes? What if he hurts me?

I can’t bear that again.

Years with Graham led to my lack of self-esteem, and while I know deep down that I’m not a horrible choice, I feel like Garret deserves better than me. Someone who can be honest with him, not hold him back from a full life.

Kennedy and Lindsey excuse themselves, running down to join the guys. Watching Grayson sweep Kennedy into his arms, grabbing her ass, a mist fills my eyes. My brain can’t figure out why my heart is sad, so I turn away, finding Carmen looking at me.

“You okay?” she asks, and I nod with a smile, forcing the tears away.

“Yeah. I’m having a lot of fun with you guys.”

“I’m glad. We’re a crazy bunch, but you won’t find anyone who will love you more.”

“I see that.” As I reach for my water, a hand comes down on my shoulder and I jump, throwing the water away from me.

“Shit.” Garret kneels next to me, eyes filled with concern.

“Jesus, Garret,” I groan, hand over my pounding heart.

“I’m sorry,” he says, giving me an apologetic smile.

“You scared the hell out of me,” I tell him, reaching over to slap his shoulder.

Laughing, he jumps up and retrieves my water, handing it to me. I’m tempted to pour it over his head, but he jogs over to the cooler to get more beers, taking them down to the others.

Shaking my head and all thoughts of terror away, I turn to Carmen to find her looking at me, her eyes sad and wide.

“What?” I ask.

“How long?” She moves her chair closer to mine.

“How long what?”

“How long did he hurt you?”

I’m completely taken aback, mouth dropping open and eyes welling with tears.

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Nacole, it’s okay. I know. I’ve been there.”

Well I didn’t expect that.

“Seven years,” I whisper, and her eyes widen in shock before she leans forward to give me a hug. When she pulls away, I see tears sparkling in her eyes.

“When did you leave?”

“Four months ago. Moved down here and was living in this run-down apartment. Spent the first few months crying and sleeping. I lost my mom back in January, and I never got a chance…”

It all comes out like word vomit, and I watch Carmen’s expression switch from shock to sadness, to anger and then back to sadness.

She reaches out for my hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m so sorry, girl. How are you doing now?”

“Honestly? Better than I have in a long time. Losing Mom was my breaking point with Graham, and every day, I feel better. I feel like myself.”

“Good.”

“Can I ask you something, Carmen?”

“Of course.”

“What gave it away?”

She sighs. “I saw the flash of fear in your eyes when Garret scared you. It’s only noticeable to the group of us who have been through it. The six months that Craig hurt me were the hardest and most painful months of my life, and I don’t mean just physically but emotionally. He tried to kill me in the end, and every day, when I see Hunter, or I wake up and get annoyed because I didn’t get enough sleep, I remember. I remember having final thoughts. I was only twenty-two years old, but I knew my life hadn’t been enough for me. I wanted more out of it.”

I nod, knowing exactly what she means. “Graham wasn’t always physical. I mean, here and there over the first couple years, but it was his words that hurt the most. I was worthless. Why did he bother marrying me? I was a waste of his time. Holding him back.” Shaking off the nightmares, I forge ahead. “He became more physical with me the last couple years. That’s around the time he started sleeping with his assistants, and anyone else he could get his hands on.”

“Asshole,” Carmen grumbles, smiling when I laugh at her.

“I don’t know why, but after Mom died, it became so much worse. She was all I had, and it was like he knew he didn’t have to hold back anymore, that he could do whatever he wanted. It was like he didn’t care if anyone could see the bruises anymore.”

“Nacole...”

“I left him, and every single day I’ve spent in Tennessee has been lighter and happier than I’ve been in a long time. While I never expected being almost thirty with a bachelor’s degree yet working in a sports bar to be fulfilling, it is. I enjoy working at the bar. I’m trying to make friends and carve out a life here. Garret has just been the wrench that I can’t decide what to do with.”

“You like him.” It’s not a question, and I smile at Carmen.

“Yeah, I do. But I don’t want to date him, because that leads to a relationship and that could wind up being my downfall.”

“Or it could be the best thing to happen to you.” Carmen moves her chair so she’s in front of me, taking both of my hands in hers.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

Biting her lower lip, she looks past me to Hunter, and I see her eyes light up, the happiness and love behind them. “I met Hunter when I was at my lowest point. Nightmares on an almost nightly basis. I lost someone I cared about, and he was there for me. No questions asked, no expectations. But it was my fear that drove us apart. And while temporary, it was enough.”

“I’m sorry.” I feel a tear escape down my cheek and I swipe it away.

“I’m not saying you and Garret are meant to drive off into the sunset together, but you like him, and I think he likes you too. Don’t let a monster like Graham determine the rest of your life. Don’t let him take any more happiness away from you. You deserve more than that.”

Her words strike a chord with me and I look over my shoulder to where Garret is. He’s unaware of my gaze, and I watch as he laughs over something Brody says to him, head thrown back and mouth open wide. A smile creeps across my face and I look back to Carmen.

“Thank you,” I tell her sincerely.

“Hey, what are friends for?” With a short squeeze, she brushes past me to go down to Hunter, who instantly grabs her for a kiss.

Decision made, I stand up and brush off my dress. Squaring my shoulders, I walk down to join everyone.

Carmen is right. Graham is my past. I have no idea if Garret is my future, but I’ll be damned if I spend another second living in the past.

It’s time to start living for today.