CHAPTER EIGHT
Cal did a final check of the barn, making certain all equipment was put away, all stall doors latched, and there weren’t any other safety hazards that could ruin the Central Methodist Preschool’s visit to his farm.
The first time he’d done a school tour, he’d been so nervous, his hands shook for most of the morning. He was comfortable around kids. He’d taken care of his cousins often, but there was no escaping the fact that plenty of people in the community thought being gay was equivalent to being a pedophile. It made no difference that these people had known Cal his whole life, or that there was no evidence behind that assumption. Cal had to walk on eggshells anytime he worked with children. It pissed him the hell off, but he could live with it as long as he was able to keep his business going.
He glanced at the clock. The kids would arrive any minute, and Beck still wasn’t there. He pulled out his phone and texted him. Are you on your way?
As he was doing a final check of each stall, he heard the bus coming up the driveway.
The windows were open, and the excited squeals of children echoed over the farm. “Baby pigs! Did you see all the baby piiiiiiiiigs?”
“There’s a pony. I want a pony! Do you think Santa will bring me a pony?”
“Bock. Bock. Bock. Chickens! Look at the chickens! That one’s dancing.”
Cal directed the driver to the best place to park, and soon the doors were open and the children began to descend. Their teachers and parent chaperones struggled to corral them into small groups. Cal had asked that each group have no more than five children so they could all have a chance to see things and ask questions.
“Let me know what I should do?”
Cal jumped.
Beck laid a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?”
“What happened? I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I’m sorry. Grandma’s fridge isn’t working, and I was trying to get someone scheduled to come take a look at it.”
Shit! A broken fridge sucked, and now Beck was going to have to deal with preschoolers. “You didn’t have to come. I could’ve managed.”
“I told you I’d be here. I wasn’t going to leave you shorthanded.”
His smile did things to Cal that were definitely not good for his concentration, or for him looking nice and innocent in front of these children. He walked over and grabbed one of the two-way radios sitting on a stump. “Take this, and head on to the horse barn. Just press here to talk if you need to let me know something. Otherwise, I’ll let you know when to wrap up and send the kids to me.”
Beck fiddled around with the radio. “Okay, I think I got it.”
“You look nervous.”
Beck sighed. “Sorry. It’s just that I’ve never worked with kids this young.”
“You’ll do fine.” Cal’s breath caught as Beck looked up at him. He was so fucking beautiful and intelligent and resourceful. “Go on. I’ll send a group to you soon.”
Cal didn’t let himself watch Beck walk away—watch Beck’s ass, more like. He grabbed his own radio and walked toward the kids. It was time to get this started.
***
Beck checked the barn to make sure it was safe, even though Cal had likely gone over it multiple times. He didn’t see anything that looked hazardous, but from what he knew of three-year-olds—mostly from his teaching colleagues who were parents—they could turn anything into a hazard.
You can do this. Just show them the barn, let them look at a few pieces of tack, and then bring Lightning out of his stall. He wouldn’t have a lot of time with any one group, and hopefully cooing over Lightning would take up a good bit of it anyway.
His radio chirruped. “Your first group is on the way.”
“Hey! Is this where they keep all the horses?”
Several kids came running, followed by a harried chaperone who was already sweaty and out of breath. He glanced at the radio he’d set on a post and wished he could call Cal to rescue him.
“Are there big horses and little horses here?” a blond boy asked.
Before Beck could respond, a girl with beaded braids said, “Are there cows? I like cows best!”
Several more questions erupted, but they were incomprehensible because all the kids seemed to be talking at once.
“I need everyone to be quiet and listen,” Beck said, attempting to project his voice over the din.
Between a few of the kids shushing the others and their chaperone joining Beck in encouraging them to calm down, something close to silence was finally achieved.
“Good morning, everyone! My name is Beck, and I’m going to show you around the barn.”
“Hi, Mr. Beck!” they all screamed.
One of the horses whinnied loudly, which set off a fit of giggling.
When they’d calmed down slightly, Beck said, “To answer a few of your questions, in this barn, there are small ponies, very tall horses, and all sizes in between. There are no cows on this farm, but there are pigs and chickens.”
A red-haired boy wrinkled his nose. “Chickens stink.”
Beck grinned. “They sure can, but these have a lot of space, so the smell isn’t quite so strong.”
“That’s good,” the girl with the braids said.
“Yes, it is.”
He managed to get through a brief explanation of the different features of the barn: stalls, feed storage, hayloft, tack room. Then he took them to the tack room, where they seemed thrilled to touch one of the saddles and examine bridles and curry combs. By the time he motioned them back into the main part of the barn, he was enjoying himself. Yes, they were chaotic and talkative, but he liked sharing Cal’s farm with them and watching them light up with excitement. Whatever it took, he was going to see that Cal got to do educational tours more often.
“Okay, everyone follow me.”
When they were gathered near the doors again, he attempted to be heard over the sound of their whispering and giggling. “Would you like to see a pony?”
“Yes!” Wow. His ears might never recover from this day.
All the kids loved Lightning, even the girl who claimed to only like cows.
He was surprised when his radio chirruped and Cal told him to send the group on to him. The time had flown.
As fun as talking with the kids turned out to be, by the time all the groups had cycled through, Beck was exhausted.
As he escorted his final group back to the parking area, he was thrilled to have escaped from any difficult questions.
Apparently, with that thought, he jinxed himself.
A boy who’d been indefatigably curious about everything in the barn called to him. “Mr. Beck?”
“Yes?”
“That horse is a boy, right?” He pointed to Jupiter, a stallion who’d been turned out to pasture.
Beck nodded. “Yes, he is.”
“And he’s the leader of the herd.”
He was the only intact stallion, so Beck supposed that was true. “Kind of, but that doesn’t work the same way here as in the wild.”
The boy had stopped listening to him and was poking a girl standing beside him. “See? I’m right,” he said. “That’s ’cause he’s the one with the biggest penis.”
Oh my God.
“No, that’s not right,” Beck said. Shit, he could feel sweat on the back of his neck. What was he supposed to say now? “He’s the only stallion here. Horses are large animals, so all of their body parts are large.”
“But my daddy said—”
The teacher who’d led this group rushed over, looking pale despite the bright sun. “William, that’s enough; come on.”
“Thank you,” he mouthed to her. He turned and saw Cal watching him with a big smirk on his face. The bastard.
“Thank you all for coming,” Cal said. “We have jam and vegetables from the farm for everyone.”
One of the men who worked for Cal handed off a box filled with paper bags to one of the teachers.
“I hope you had a great time.”
“Can we come back and visit the pony?” a little girl asked.
“Maybe. We do teach riding lessons, but you’ll have to ask your parents.”
What were the chances they’d let her visit? Anger burned as Beck thought of these kids being taught hate at such a young age.
When the bus drove away, the farm hands headed into the barn, and Cal walked over to Beck.
“I did warn you.”
“Warn me? I think you cursed me. Everything went smoothly until right then.”
Cal grinned. “Several of the kids raved about how fun it was in the barn with Mr. Beck.”
“After I got used to it, I enjoyed working with them. I’d be happy to help you out next time.”
“You would?”
“Yeah, and I’ve got a few ideas about the tours and other things you could do here.”
“I need to head back to the horse barn,” Cal said. “You want to walk with me and we can talk?”
“Sure.” They started walking, and for a few moments, Beck just enjoyed being with Cal. He could feel the power in Cal’s big, strong body as they climbed the hill side by side. What would it feel like to have all that power on top of him? Inside him?
“You gonna tell me your ideas?” Cal prompted.
“Yeah, sorry. I, uh… I was just lost in thought.” Thoughts of kissing you.
Cal smirked at him. Did he know what Beck was thinking?
“Have you thought about having the kids make something after the tour, like ice cream with berries if fruit is in season or some other type of snack. Something hands-on like that would be great to bring everyone back together, and it would give you a chance to debrief with the chaperones and hear firsthand what worked and what didn’t.
“Hmm.” Cal took several long strides before saying anything else, giving Beck a chance to study his thighs encased in tight denim.
“Actually that’s a really good idea.”
“Thanks. You know what else would be great?”
Cal glanced over at him. “What?”
“Summer camp.”
Cal shook his head. “No way could I have kids running around the farm all summer.”
“No, not all summer, just a week in June, before there’s much to harvest. If that went well, then maybe something else for older kids, possibly even an internship.”
“I’m not really qualified to run a camp,” Cal said as they entered the barn.
Beck snorted. “I saw you with those kids, Cal. You’re great at this.”
Cal checked on a few of the horses before turning back to Beck and shaking his head. “I’d never get enough kids signed up. Do you know how many schools won’t even return my calls or emails?”
“But obviously some of them do, and once the kids see the farm, they love it. Don’t you think a lot of those kids would enjoy spending more time here, like four hours a day for a week?”
“Do you know how many of their parents wouldn’t even consider it? Just because they let them come for a tour with school doesn’t mean they’d be willing to drop their kids off with the town pariah.”
Beck sighed. “Well, what about events like birthday parties or—”
“What do I have to say to make you understand?”
Beck tried to tell himself Cal wasn’t really angry at him, but at his situation. “Would it really hurt to try?”
Cal ran a hand through his hair. “Just back off, okay? I have to run my farm my way.”
Beck’s chest tightened, and he took a step back. Why did Cal’s dismissal have to hurt so much?
Cal must have sensed he’d overstepped. “I know you’re trying to help, but do you really think it’s that easy? That somehow people are going to magically decide they’re okay with me being gay when their preachers and their politicians tell them I’m going to hell?”
“No, there’s nothing easy about it. I just lost my job, a job I loved, because of who I am. What I think is that you have to keep fighting.”
“Because it’s my job to change the world? See how well that went for you?”
Beck forced himself to keep his voice soft. “You love this farm, and you want to make it grow. I might’ve ultimately left my school, but I changed people while I was there because I was willing to fight, to push, to make them admit there was no reason to get rid of me other than their goddamn prejudice.”
“But people here—”
“People here are no more ignorant than the assholes I encountered in Roswell, who thought hating me was God-ordained. But there were students and faculty who softened their attitudes toward LGBT rights because they saw that a gay man can be a good teacher, and gay kids saw that they can have a future.”
“One where they get fired.”
“One where they win a settlement, get an apology, and quit.”
“Wait. You quit? But you said you lost your job.”
Beck sighed. “I’m not going to pretend it would’ve been comfortable to stay, but after I won, they would’ve let me.”
“But you were practically in Atlanta; this is Ames Bridge.”
Atlanta had sometimes seemed further away than it actually was. “That doesn’t mean minds can’t be changed here too.”
“Have you seen some of the minds around here?”
Beck smiled. “I have, and I’m not saying a miracle is going to happen. I’m just suggesting things I think you’d enjoy, and which could bring in more revenue.”
Cal shook his head. “Right now, the farm is succeeding when so many don’t. I can’t risk what I’ve gained by speaking up too loudly.”
“Encouraging schools to rethink their stance on visiting your farm and having people speak up for you isn’t like waving pompoms while marching in your jock strap,” Beck said. “Not that I have any problem with that.”
Cal snorted.
“Cal, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile as much as you did today.”
“I smile.”
“You smile to greet people or to try to convince me to sell you the pastureland.”
He scowled.
“Yes. That’s the expression I see a lot of. But today you smiled at those children and you looked truly happy.”
Cal shrugged. “So I like working with kids.”
Wow. Was he actually blushing? “Yes, you do. And it didn’t kill you to admit it. You don’t have to be hypermasculine to meet everyone’s approval.”
“Hypermasculine? Now there’s a city word if I ever heard one.”
Beck rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying you don’t have to be a hot-shot athlete or the guy who can lift six bales of hay at once.” His gaze strayed to Cal’s perfect biceps. “To prove yourself.”
“Is that how you’ve always thought of me, like some dumb jock?”
Was he serious? “Do you remember how you treated me when I was a kid?”
“Do you remember how you thought you were so much better than the kids here?”
“I didn’t—”
Cal raised his brows.
Fine, he had. “But you thought you were so cool, and you—”
“Acted like a fucking idiot like most teenage boys. But you never really knew me at all.”
Cal took a step toward him.
“I went along with those idiots I hung out with, because I couldn’t let anyone know how much I wanted to get into your pants.”
“You… You what?”
Tension stretched between them until Beck couldn’t breathe. His cock hardened, urging him to do something about it. So when Cal’s gaze dropped to his lips, he licked them deliberately.
Cal moved forward, crowding him until he hit the tack room wall.
Beck watched his own hand rise to Cal’s face as if someone else were controlling it. He skimmed his fingers over Cal’s jaw and then whispered, “Kiss me.”
Cal leaned down slowly, slowly, until Beck thought he might pass out from the anticipation. Then Cal kissed him. There was no slow build, no sweet tease. It was a kiss that demanded Beck open for Cal’s questing tongue. He did so, gladly, as Cal slid his tongue along the roof of his mouth. So hot. So good.
Cal’s lips were as soft as Beck had imagined. He clung to Cal’s shirt, sure he’d fall down if he didn’t. Cal growled and ground himself against Beck, so he could feel the hard line of Cal’s cock. He wanted more. He wanted to fucking surrender.
Cal teased Beck’s lower lip and then bit down, making Beck groan. He wrapped one of his legs around Cal’s thigh and thrust against him.
“More,” he panted when Cal turned his attention to Beck’s neck.
“Cal! You in here?”
“Fuck!” Cal jerked away.
Beck began fiddling with one of the saddles as if he were checking it over.
“I’m in the tack room,” Cal called. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Beck?”
He fought to control his breathing as he turned back to face Cal.
“Come over tonight around six if you want to finish this.”
José, a man who’d worked for Cal’s family back when Beck visited regularly, appeared in the door of the tack room.
“Hey, Beck. I didn’t know you were still here.”
“Yeah, I was…just…”
“He was just helping me straighten up.”
No, that was definitely not what he’d been doing, but Beck wasn’t about to argue. “I need to head home now. I’ll see you later.”
“Later,” Cal called.
“See ya,” José said.
As Beck walked home, he pondered whether he’d show up that night. Fucking Cal was a good way to get hurt. Cal would expect them to keep things secret and would insist they were nothing more than fuck buddies. Beck had been crushing on this man for fifteen years; could he really keep feelings out of it if they slept together? Probably not. The real question was, would the pain be worth it?