Matthew
One Week Later
It’s been one week since I received the letter that changed everything.
It’s been one long, terrifying week, and everything is different.
Nothing is the same.
Only it is.
Everything is the same except for me.
It’s only my world that’s been thrown into chaos, my world that’s been torn to bits. It’s only my world that’s threatening to collapse inside of me, and I don’t know what to do.
I should know what to do, and that’s the very worst part about this entire ordeal. I should have the answers, at least when it comes to this. I should know what’s right and what’s wrong and where I go from here.
I’m a grown-ass man. I’m a fucking lawyer, for dragon’s sake. I’m the one person who should know exactly what to do in a situation like this, but I don’t.
I just don’t.
And I’ve been holding onto this letter, memorizing it, meditating on it, and I’m still not any closer to knowing how to move forward. How could I not have known about this? How could I not have felt this in my very soul?
I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. I can barely function. I’ve been showering and I’ve been getting to work and I’ve been moving through my daily duties, but I’ve been doing it on autopilot because this is much too big for me to handle on my own. This is much too big for me to deal with.
It’s just all too much.
A father.
I’m a father.
I’m a father to a little girl and I had no idea.
How could I not have known?
Isn’t fatherhood one of those things you’re just supposed to feel? Shouldn’t I have had some inkling that a child existed? Shouldn’t I have experienced some sort of deep, philosophical emotion?
I didn’t, and I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself.
It took me three days to process what was happening and another three to arrange to take off time from work. Now, on day seven, I’m on my way to Dragon Isle: a place I thought I’d never return to.
A place I never wanted to return to.
And I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.
All I know is that I have to see her. I have to find her. I have to look at my little girl with my own eyes because she’s a part of me, even if I didn’t know that until very recently.
And she’s on Dragon Isle.
It’s not that Dragon Isle is a bad place. It’s not. And it’s not that the people there are bad. They aren’t. When I wanted to move away and go to college, though, I tried to bring Michelle with me. I tried to encourage her to come along and see the world and explore, but she was never interested in that.
That’s not the life for me, she told me. It was the most painful breakup I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know if anything will come close to replicating the pain I felt when she wouldn’t come with me. To me, her refusal to leave was because she wanted other things more. The prestige and lifestyle that come from living on Dragon Isle can be addictive. Did she choose her mansion over me?
It felt like it.
Sometimes I’m still not sure.
Now it’s too late, though.
Now I’ll never know.
I should have asked her before. I should have reached out to her. Called her. Anything. I should have checked up on her to see how her life was going. I shouldn’t have just left without looking back. Maybe then things would be different. Maybe then I would have known I had a little girl.
“You doing all right, there, sir?” The young woman guiding the little boat I’m taking to the island looks over at me with concern. She’s young, probably about my age, but she seems wise beyond her years. Working with dragons will do that, whether or not you’re a shifter yourself. Dragons are a complex bunch. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to handle us.
“I’m okay,” I tell her. It’s a lie, and we both know it.
“You don’t seem okay,” she says thoughtfully, cocking her head at me. “Pardon me for pointing out the obvious, but are you sure this is where you want to be?”
I don’t answer for a minute, sort-of hoping it’s a rhetorical question, but she seems to be waiting for an answer. Perfect. A nosy boat captain. Just what I need today.
“On a boat to Dragon Isle?” I ask. “Absolutely.”
“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she says, looking me up and down.
So she’s judgmental, too.
“If you don’t want to go to the island,” the woman says. “Chances are you’re going to cause trouble. That looks bad on me, you see, being the harbormaster and all.”
“I thought Liam was the harbormaster,” I say drily.
“He’s not around much these days,” she says, but she has the decency to look slightly chastised, like she knows she’s being just the tiniest bit deceitful. I was still a kid when the old harbormaster, Willie, passed away. He left everything to Liam and now that the man is happily mated, he doesn’t spend as much time at the docks as he used to. As far as I know, he’s still the boss man, though.
“Huh,” I say, and look back at the waters. I notice she’s slowing the boat down, so I add, “I’m not planning to make any trouble.” I don’t look over at her.
“I’m not so sure I believe you,” she says. “Why don’t you tell me a little more about the business you have on the island?”
I sigh. I should have just flown myself. I shouldn’t have taken the boat. I’m not even sure why I did, except that I wanted to come in the “correct” way. I’m nervous about making a good impression with Jessica. I get the feeling she’s not in the mood to let me have access to my daughter.
I have a feeling I’m going to have a fight on my hands.
The truth is, though, that I didn’t even know Brooke existed until just recently. I didn’t have a single fucking clue. How could I have been a good father when I didn’t even know she was alive? All I knew was that Michelle and I had ended our relationship on sort-of-okay terms. I assumed she went on to live a happy, normal life on Dragon Island.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“It’s personal,” I tell the woman.
“Why don’t you start with your name?” She says.
“Matthew.”
“Nice name. Is it real?”
“Of course it’s real,” I snap, tired. “Why would I give you a name that isn’t real?”
She shrugs, but continues to slow the boat. “I’m Kelsey,” she says. “Why are you going to Dragon Isle?”
“I already told you,” I tell her. “It’s personal business.”
“And I told you,” she says with a growl. “That you need to give me more information than that. You’re making me super fucking uncomfortable and I don’t like to feel uncomfortable,” she says. “Sir.”
There’s no way this is going to go my way. There’s no way I’m going to just waltz onto Dragon Isle in the normal fashion. Is that what I wanted? Yes. Is it going to happen? Apparently not. Kelsey is more of a guard dog than Liam ever was, and that’s saying something. Oh, I know these people take their jobs as the human overlords of Dragon Isle pretty fucking seriously, but right now, I’ve had a long week and an even longer day. I’m ready to meet my daughter. I don’t need to justify myself to this girl.
I stand up and, without a backwards glance, dive off the boat and into the water. I can hear her gasp as I move below the surface of the waves, but I don’t really care. She’s not going to be scarred for life just because I didn’t do something she wanted. She’ll get over this.
Eventually.
Still, I don’t want her to panic and think that I jumped off her boat and just drowned, so like the polite gentleman I am, I shift below the water and then shoot up into the air. This way, she can see that I am, in fact, a dragon, and that I am, in fact, about to disappear.
She won’t have to have any nightmares about the man who drowned on her watch.
I turn and look at her from my place in the air. The wind is hitting my scales and my wings are flapping, holding me in place as I look at her. She really isn’t half-bad, at least as far as humans go. With one final look, I swoop down toward the boat, pick up my duffel bag with one talon, and then shift to invisibility as I move toward the island.
From Kelsey’s perspective, all she’ll be able to see is a floating duffel bag making its way toward the island.
That’s good enough for me.