TWENTY
WHAT’S this?” I ask, peering at the box curiously. Jim smiles at me, his eyes crinkling, and places the box on the table.
“You earned this,” he says as I open the lid and pull out what’s inside.
It’s a cut. One made in my size. On it, it says “Property of Sin.”
I should be offended at the proclamation, but I’m not. I know what it means, what it symbolizes. I’m one of them. And they would protect me with their own lives.
“You’re the first woman to get one. Ever.”
Dex watches me, his eyes full of pride and sadness. I think he’s feeling pride over my actions but sad that I was forced to do it. Sad that I was almost killed and that others were. I know he feels guilty too.
“I didn’t do anything, really,” I mutter. “It was all Vinnie.”
Vinnie was patched in the week after the funerals for Mary, Liam, and Trev. Seeing Arrow at Mary’s funeral was the worst. I could see that he blamed himself for her death. I wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it, or what he was going to do. It was a large burden for a man to carry.
One long soul-searching month has passed.
I didn’t leave my room for the first week. I cried more than I’ve ever cried in my life, and then I got mad at Dex. I had to blame someone, and he was closest to me. He brought me here. He didn’t deserve what I threw at him, but he took it and comforted me as much as he could.
“Stop crying, Faye,” he’d whispered to me, rubbing my back.
I pulled my head back and narrowed my eyes at him. “We were all in danger! You should have protected us better!”
He pulls me back against his chest, my body shaking with sobs.
“I know,” he’d gritted out, then muttered a curse. “Don’t you think I know that? I brought you here to protect you, and I fuckin’ failed. I’m just happy you were okay, Faye, and how fuckin’ selfish is that? Others lost their lives, but I was thanking God that you were okay, because if you weren’t, I don’t know what I would have done.”
“My baby was in danger! You brought us here,” I’d cried. “Our baby, we could have lost our baby. We lost Mary. . . .”
“I know,” he whispered to me, devastation written all over his tone. “I know, babe, I know. And I’m so fuckin’ sorry, I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to you and the baby.”
After I calmed down, we spoke. I told him it wasn’t his fault, and I shouldn’t have blamed him. I was just hurt. I was shaken. I was destroyed at what I had lost and at what I had almost lost.
And I was thankful my baby was safe.
After feeling nothing but anger, I felt something else.
Guilt.
I killed a man. I was a murderer.
Who was I to take someone’s life? I wanted to be on the other side of the law, but now I was tainted. I’d killed a man. Even though it was self-defense it isn’t something that was so easily forgotten. It left a scar. A scar that I had to carry around, one that I had to learn how to manage. The club protected me from what I did. No one mentioned that I played a part in it, so there were no ramifications on me. They had my back, like I had theirs.
After the guilt, I felt something else.
Something easier.
Acceptance.
It happened. I survived. I was one of the lucky ones.
I had two options in my life. Stay with Dex and live the life, or leave him.
I think Dex knew what I was thinking, so we talked. A lot. About everything. About us as a family. About the future. I didn’t want him to leave the club; the club was who he was. I didn’t want to change him. But I couldn’t have it both ways. This was my life now. I wasn’t born into it but was brought here by circumstance. And I’ll stay here because of love. He said he would do anything to keep us safe; he would lay his life down. He would leave the club, if that’s what I wanted from him. He would give up everything that he holds dear for me. For us—our family.
I fell in love with him even more.
There is no way I could leave him.
A lot has changed since then. Dex and I sold his old house and bought a new one. Renee was pissed, but Dex and I couldn’t care less. The clubhouse upped their security. It’s now harder to get into than a maximum-security prison is to get out of. There will not be a repeat of what happened that night, not if we can help it. Dex is sorting it out, making sure we will be safe, and I believe him. No matter what it is—we will get through it together.
I touch my rounded belly and smile. “I love my cut.” I won’t be wearing it out, but I think I’m going to seduce Dex in it tonight.
Wearing the cut and nothing else. Sexy.
Jim lifts his hand and touches my cheek. “Proud to have you in the family.”
“Proud to be here, Jimbo,” I reply, smiling up at him.
He looks to Dex. “Knocking her up was the best thing you ever did, Sin.”
“Don’t I know it,” he replies, his lips curving into a cocky smile.
I roll my eyes. “When do you guys head out?” They were going on another run, except this time Dex was staying with me. I don’t know how he talked his way out of that. I don’t even know what they do on these “runs,” but I have a feeling it has to do with drugs. Jim doesn’t allow any club members to use hard drugs, and I thought it was just good form, until I realized maybe he didn’t want them sampling the wares either. I’ve asked Dex, but he didn’t answer, so I let it go. His expression didn’t let me know if I was wrong or right about the assumption. I know they make good money. They own several different businesses, from a strip club named Toxic to several bars, clubs, and the auto mechanic shop Dex works in sometimes.
“Leaving tomorrow morning,” Jim replies, taking a swig of beer. “Cindy is busy organizing the charity event. Why don’t you help her out?”
“Yeah I will,” I assure him.
“Good girl. I’m gonna go spend time with her before I have to leave in the morning.”
“All right,” I say, taking that as my cue to leave his office. I’d learned that his office leads to the room where the men have their secret meetings. Church, they call it. That’s why I was yelled at for trying to clean around there. They probably thought I was trying to snoop. The thought makes me smile.
“You want to go out for dinner, babe?” Dex asks as we head to our room. The house will be ready for us to move in to in a few weeks. I’m not in a rush, to be honest, at least until I give birth. I can’t imagine being alone in a house when Dex goes out on club business, but I can’t imagine living here with a newborn either. I think we will benefit from having our own space; a civilian life, I heard one of the men call it.
I like to think I’m giving my daughter the best of both worlds. A nice house in a good area, but also having good men to look after her for her whole life and an extended family.
Nothing bad will touch her—I will make sure of it.
“Yeah, I’m hungry,” I reply, absently rubbing my stomach.
“You’re always hungry,” he says. “You’re supposed to eat to live, not live to eat.”
“I’m pregnant, so you shush,” I tell him, pushing him against the wall in the hallway and slipping my hand into his shirt. I feel the expanse of his smooth, toned chest, then have ideas other than food.
“Sex, then food, please,” I tell him, wiggling my eyebrows.
“Fuck, you’re romantic,” he says sarcastically, grinning down at me. “That line was one for the ages. Some pure Shakespearean shit.”
I slap at this shoulder. “Do not say Shakespearean and shit in the same sentence—”
He cuts off my rant with a kiss. He starts slow, gentle, igniting a fire within me.
“Bedroom,” I demand against his lips. I want him, and I want him right now.
“I want you here,” he replies. Here? As in the hallway?
“Dex—”
“I want you here, Faye,” he whispers. “I need you right fuckin’ now, and I’m not waiting.”
He lifts me up against the wall, careful not to press his weight against my stomach. Running his hand up my thigh, he lifts my dress with it, riding it up until my underwear is bared to him. Ripping my black lace panties with one quick movement, he frees himself with one hand, kissing me senseless at the same time. I moan into his mouth, encouraging him. His kisses turn more frantic, more desperate, and mine do the same. He reaches down and plays with my clit, sliding a finger inside to test if I’m ready for him.
I am.
I always am. A hum of approval resounds deep in his throat as he confines me to the wall. He examines my features for a second, leaning his forehead against mine and staring deep into my eyes.
Sliding himself inside me gently, he groans at the contact. “God, I love you,” he murmurs against my lips. “So.Fucking.Much.”
“Love you too,” I manage to get out breathlessly.
“You’re mine, babe,” he says on a thrust. “All. Mine.”
His hands hold my hips up, gripping with each smooth movement. My heels dig into his ass, urging him on as my climax builds.
Then I feel it. That moment you know you’re so close, but you just need . . . a little more. A little push over the edge. Dex feels it too; he always knows exactly what I need—he’s so attuned to my body. His mouth finds the spot between my neck and shoulder and bites down gently. He knows that spot is sensitive, one of my favorite places to be kissed. It does the trick, and I feel myself explode, the pleasure consuming.
“That’s it,” he whispers. “Come for me, Faye.”
I close my eyes and let the sensations take over. Nothing exists in this moment besides Dex and pleasure.
“Show me those pretty hazel eyes,” he demands. “Show me what’s mine.”
I open my eyes, meeting his crystal-blue ones. “You’re mine too.”
“Always, babe,” he grits out as his release hits him. He never moves his eyes away from mine, allowing me to see him in the throes of pleasure.
It’s a good look on him.
He peppers kisses on my jawline, my cheeks, my forehead, then finally my mouth.
I hear cheering from behind us and look to see Rake standing there. I hide my face in Dex’s neck, my cheeks heating with embarrassment. Dammit, Rake will never let me live this down.
“Get the fuck out of here, Rake,” Dex growls at him.
Way to ruin our afterglow, Rake.
“Hell no, this is payback,” he says, chuckling.
I cringe when I remember walking into his room and annoying him and his two houseguests. Sighing, I tap Dex’s shoulder for him to let me down.
“I hope payback is worth the black eye you’ll be sporting tomorrow,” Dex adds, carefully putting me down on the ground. I pull my dress down, while Dex does up his jeans. We both turn to face Rake, my cheeks bright red. Dex, on the other hand, looks like he wants to kill him, and I know it’s on my behalf. I don’t think he really gives a shit whether people see him having sex, but he knows I’m more private. Dex picks up my ripped panties off the floor and scrunches them in his hand, then shoves them into his pocket.
When I see Rake pulling out his phone, my mouth drops open, anger overriding my embarrassment. “Don’t you dare, Rake! I swear I will kill you!”
He laughs, holding his stomach like this is the funniest moment of his life.
Men!
“I’m just playing. I wouldn’t take a picture of you. Well, I would, if Sin wouldn’t kick my ass.”
I sigh. “Why are you still standing here?”
He grins lavishly. “Just enjoying the view, Faye. Now I know what Sin sees in you. That was fuckin’ hot.”
I cover my face with my hands until Dex pulls them away and kisses my mouth. “Ignore him.”
Dex turns to Rake, an evil grin appearing on his mouth. “Let’s go have a chat.”
I puff out a shallow breath. What he really means is, let’s go to the boxing ring and beat the shit out of each other. The ring is a new addition to the compound, and the men like to get in there and show off their fighting skills. It’s all I’ve been hearing about recently. The lot of them have been looking at any excuse to get in there.
“Not the face,” I tell Rake, pointing a finger at him.
Dex turns to me. “As if he’d even get a shot in.”
“Hey, not all of us have trained with Reid Knox,” Rake adds. “You have an advantage.”
Dex gives me one last lingering kiss. “I owe you some spooning,” he whispers into my ear.
“What?” I ask, laughing.
“I don’t want you to feel like every time we have sex I just get up and leave,” he tries to explain. “I want to hold you afterward, skin against skin. But it will have to be later this time.”
I hide my smile. He doesn’t want me to feel like he’s using me, like he was just going to fuck and run like he did with the other women. “Baby, it’s okay. Go do your thing—we can snuggle tonight.”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Rake says. Shit, I forgot the bastard was even there.
I flash him a pointed look, then head to my room for a nap.