LIAM

 

“Come here, horsey horse.” Liam held out his hand and approached his mare for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few hours. “Come on. You can do it.”

Just like every other time, the horse watched him sideways as he came toward her. Then, right before he got within touching distance, she bolted to the opposite side of the circle pen.

“Fecking Christ!” Liam took off his hat and hurled it at the fence.

And immediately his da’s voice was ringing through his head.

“How is a son of mine so goddamned worthless?” his da shouted, storming into his bedroom with some shite gossip magazine in his hand.

Liam had been nursing a hangover and grabbed his pounding head. “Can you keep it down, da? I’m still langered somethin’ awful.”

Well that just seemed to set his da off. “I will not keep it down. You’re a twenty-four-year-old man still living with his father. You barely graduated and only because I donated an extremely generous endowment to the university your senior year. You have no skills, no ambitions, and are an embarrassment to the O’Neill name! Look at this.” His father pointed at the headline on the front page above the picture of Liam being hauled away in cuffs by the Garda. “Playboy Billionaire Arrested for Brawling…Again.” Then he opened the magazine and began reading. “Liam O’Neill, son of Prism Media Group mogul Ciarán O’Neill was yet again caught brawling in the streets of Dublin, this time outside a pub in the—”

Liam flopped back on his bed and pulled his pillow over his head to muffle the sound of his father’s voice.

The next second his da had ripped the pillow away. “You listen to me when I’m speaking to ya, ya useless, poxy little shite. I pulled meself up from nothin’ to give you everythin’ you could ever want—

“Don’t give me that shite,” Liam said, launching off the bed and getting in his da’s face. “Everything you’ve ever done in your life has been for yourself. Not for me or ma. Christ knows you scraped her off quick enough so you could go scuttle women half your age. Not that I imagine havin’ a ring on your finger stopped ya from gettin’ your knob polished by skanks all around the world on those business trips you took all the time even when ya were married.”

That was when his da punched him so hard he was knocked to the floor.

“Hey there.”

Liam spun around and put his hand to the back of his neck as he saw Calla standing just outside the fence behind him. Shite. The only thing worse than failing so bad at this was having a witness. Especially Calla.

“Xavier mentioned you were having a little trouble with her.” She gestured behind him in the direction of his mare.

“It’s been two days and she won’t even let me touch her.” Liam shook his head, squinting in the setting sun at the mustang. “She’s banjaxed, I’m telling ya. The organizers have to recognize that some horses are just too far gone. If I had meself a nice foal from a reputable breeder, well, I know I’d really be getting somewhere. But this one—” He shook his head again. And realized that, shite, he was rambling. Like an insecure idiot. He was never insecure around women.

They’d barely had time to spend more than ten minutes together alone since driving home from Denver. The last two days, Calla had spent almost all her time not doing morning chores with her mustang. Yesterday he’d hoped to have some time with her after dinner, but when he got downstairs after cleaning up, Mel told him she’d borrowed their truck to go visit her dad in a nursing home.

He hadn’t known her dad was even sick. Then he realized exactly how little he actually knew about her. Which made him feel like a selfish scumbag. It was an uncomfortable sensation. He wasn’t used to all these… feelings.

Wanting to shag a girl, sure. But, like, comforting someone with a sick da? He’d considered staying up to see Calla when she got back. But then he tried to imagine how that would go.

Sucks about your da… So, wanna go up to my room and let me make you feel better?

That was something the old Liam might have done. And now that he was trying to be a better version of himself?

Staring at Calla now, trucker’s hat on her head, in a loose tank-top and jeans—obviously not concerned with primping or showing off her figure to its best advantage to lure him in—well, he still didn’t have any fucking idea what to say to her. In the circles he’d lived in most his life, appearance and status were everything. Calla broke every rule he’d always lived by.

Calla just smiled and leaned over to slide through the fence posts and into the pen with him and the mustang. “I’ve been watching a little while. You’ve been really patient.”

“Oh.” He lifted his hand to the back of his neck again. The last thing he’d expected was a compliment. He felt like a huge fuck up. “Thanks.” And then he blurted, “I heard about your dad yesterday. I’m really sorry.”

The smile faded from Calla’s mouth and she looked into the distance. “Yeah.” She was quiet a moment and then seemed to shake herself out of it. “So. About the mare. What’d you name her?”

“Satan’s Mistress.”

Calla laughed. “Aw, poor baby.”

Liam didn’t know if she was talking about him or the horse.

She came a little closer. “You’re doing good but maybe I can share a little technique that will help.”

Liam held out his hands. “Please. Anything.” Then his eyes narrowed as he looked across the pen at the mustang. “Not that it will do anything.” He hadn’t been joking about her being defective.

Calla just laughed and shook her head. “Come on,” she gestured for him to come with her. She walked slowly toward the horse.

“Make sure you always stay on her left side so she can keep an eye on you as you approach.”

Satan’s Mistress was looking in their direction as they made it halfway across the pen. Liam was about to take another step when Calla held out her arm to his chest.

“Now back.”

Liam looked at her in surprise. They weren’t anywhere near the horse.

But when Calla backed up, her front still toward the horse, Liam mirrored her movements. “Just keep taking deep, calming breaths.”

Again, Liam wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or the horse. But he stayed quiet and did as Calla did.

Once they got back to the fence-line, Calla stood there a second before heading back in the horse’s direction. This time they took a step or two past the center of the paddock before backing up again.

“Like boiling a frog,” Calla said. “You gotta go slow. By small degrees or she’ll bolt.”

Liam nodded even though he wasn’t sure about it. Calla didn’t know this horse. The only time he’d gotten close in the past couple days after getting her home, she’d almost taken off his fingers. And she had big damn teeth.

It took another fifteen minutes before they came within five feet of the horse. “See how she’s tensing up? Watch her ears.” Calla said, nodding at the mare. Liam observed her ears flicking back and forth.

“She’s telling us back up, she’s not comfortable. Horses have a herd mentality. They want to be dominated. You just have to show them who’s boss, but at the same time you can’t force it.” She took several steps backward and Liam followed suit. “It’s a dance between you and her to establish your dominance.”

Calla held one hand out as she started approaching the horse again. “You find the line…” They reached the same spot they’d been in a moment before, about five feet away. “Then you take one or two steps over it.” Calla took another step closer. Now that Liam was watching more closely, he saw Satan’s Mistress’s ears twitching and the way she shuffled back and forth at their nearness.

“Then we reward her by taking the pressure off again.” Calla started backwards and again Liam followed.

It was an infuriatingly slow process, but to his shock, fifteen minutes later, Calla was reaching out her hand to the mare’s nose for her to sniff. Calla still didn’t make contact. She just took another step closer and blew lightly at Satan’s Mistress’s nose.

“This is how horses greet each other in the wild. Let her get to know your scent.” Satan’s Mistress shifted uneasily and Calla pulled slowly back. “Then you reward her by stepping away again and leaving her alone for a little while.”

“Like playing hard to get. Are you sure this isn’t dating advice?”

Calla laughed softly, still never taking her eyes off the horse. “Can’t say I know much about that.” Her eyes flicked his direction and Liam wasn’t sure, but he thought her cheeks reddened.

After retreating to the fence again, Calla gestured at him. “You try saying hi to her this time.”

She stayed by the fence while Liam headed toward Satan’s Mistress. He felt his heartbeat thudding in his ears. Ridiculous. It was just a fecking horse.

Worthless.

Useless poxy shite.

“Remember to breathe,” Calla said from behind him. “She’s reading your body language. So make sure you’re giving off calm with every step you take. You might not make it all the way on the first pass. That’s okay. Find her line and take just one step beyond it.”

Liam stopped and watched the horse. She leaned down and took a bite of grass but the way her head was cocked, it felt like she was still watching him.

He took a step forward. When she just kept chewing grass, he took another. Then another. Her head came up and she shifted nervously a few steps.

Liam backed away just like Calla taught him. And to his astonishment, the next time he approached, Satan’s Mistress let him come all the way up to her. Liam had only made it this close a couple times before—both of which had ended with Satan’s Mistress snapping at him with those big teeth of hers.

Liam took a deep breath in and out and held out his hand toward her nose. But unlike in the past, he didn’t keep pushing to try to touch her. He left his hand about a foot away from her. Then, when she didn’t move, he took another step in. Her ears flicked at this.

One step past the line. Okay. Liam took a tiny step closer and then blew at the horse’s nose. Which felt frankly ridiculous.

But instead of snapping, the mare nosed a little closer to him. Like she was curious. A thrill shot through Liam’s body.

He was doing it. He was actually doing it.

“Now back,” Calla said.

Liam wanted to take that last little step so he could touch the mare. Maybe even try seeing if he could get her to take the bit.

Then he considered his failure rate before Calla had shown up. Baby steps. He backed off.

When he got back to Calla, her eyes were shining as she beamed at him. “You’re doing so good. You’re a natural at this.”

His chest flushed with warmth like he’d just had a shot of whiskey on a cold day. “I don’t know about that.”

Calla scrunched her eyebrows together. “Wait. What’s that?” She bumped him on the shoulder before looking up at the sky. “Did I miss the pigs flying? Is Liam O’Neill actually being modest?”

Liam barked out a laugh. No one ever took the piss out of him. And everything was just so natural with her. They’d had sex—not just that, but she’d lost her virginity, maybe not technically to him, but as good as. And yet here she was, not making a big deal about it or pressing anxiously for more.

He’d been joking earlier when he said the tactics she was using on the horse would work for dating but maybe there was something to it after all.

He wrapped her in his arms, lifting her up off the ground and spinning her around. She shrieked and hugged his neck. He set her back on the ground and nudged the bill of her cap back until it fell off her head. Damn she was pretty. Those flushed cheeks. The adorable freckles sprinkled across her nose. The way she looked at him like he was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her.

He leaned down and kissed her hard. He probably should have taken it slower. But for once he was letting go of all his normal calculated moves and just going with what felt right.

From the way she kissed him enthusiastically back, he’d say it was the right way to go.

At least until she pulled back. She was still grinning at him as she pulled out of his arms, though. “I still want to work with Painter a little more and get him groomed. See you at dinner.”

“You bet your arse,” he said. Then, before she could turn to go he stepped forward and kissed her again.

She was laughing as she pulled away. “I’ll see you.” Then she turned and slipped back out through the fence. She walked away but looked back at him a couple of times, that radiant smile still on her face.

He frowned. What if she was playing him? This innocent, not immediately available, hard to get act could just be that—an act.

It wouldn’t be the first time a woman had tried games to capture his attention. There was nothing he hated more than people trying to fecking manipulate him. For a long while there he hadn’t thought there was any other way to interact.

Wasn’t he the guy who believed no one ever gave anything without expecting something in return? So what was Calla’s angle? If she didn’t want him for his money, what did she want? Maybe his body. She’d certainly seemed to enjoy everything he’d done with her.

He stared in the direction Calla went long after she’d disappeared around the corner of the barn.

Jaysus, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so in over his head. With a horse or a woman.

***

“What do you think happened with Mackenzie?” Calla asked. They were sitting on the porch swing after dinner, her in his lap with her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder.

Usually when he had a woman in this position, he’d be quickly shifting her other leg over him and hiking up her skirt so they could get on with things.

But he and Calla were just… talking. Well, occasionally they’d make out for a while, but then it would calm down again and she’d just curl up into him like a contented kitten.

Liam paused from where he was running his fingers through her hair, finally registering her words. “Um. He’s an arsehole?”

Calla shoved his shoulder lightly. “I’m serious.”

Liam had been serious too. Mack was a bogger arsehole and that’s all there was too it.

“Have you seen him the past couple days?” Calla lifted her head from his chest to look at him.

Liam shrugged. “Just the back of his head after he’s grabbed his food and heading up to his room.”

Calla sighed. “Exactly. I think something’s going on with him.” She dropped her head back to Liam’s chest but she pulled away moments later to look at him. “Do you not want me to talk about him? Is that…” she glanced down. “Is it not okay to bring him up?” Her eyes were anxious.

Liam squeezed his arms around her. “You can talk to me about anything. I don’t want you holding back.” He was just starting to trust that she wasn’t a fake. He certainly didn’t want her to think she should put on a show of any kind.

She swallowed and smiled tentatively. “I’ve just never done anything like…” she waved a hand. “You know.” She lifted and dropped her eyebrows significantly. “And he was part of it with us.”

Liam felt a flare of pain in his chest. Was he not enough for her?

It faded quickly at seeing the distress on Calla’s face, though. “Do you still want him?” His tone was more even than he’d expected it to be.

Calla glanced down again before taking a deep breath and meeting his eyes again. “I don’t really know him. But I didn’t know you either. And then… that night.” She pursed her lips and shook her head. “It felt, I don’t know…” she looked around like she was trying to find the right word. “Important. Like all three of us were connecting in this really special way.” She turned her head to look out at the dark night. “That’s probably stupid and naïve. I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Don’t say that.” Liam’s arms tightened around her. “Don’t doubt your instincts.” It might not be his favorite thing to hear that she was still thinking about Mack, but here she was, telling him up front. Being real with him. No matter what she was feeling, it was right there on her face.

“What did you think about that night?” she asked. “Did you like it when he… When you two were…”

“Sure,” Liam said, then he felt Calla stiffen at his clipped tone.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have ask—”

“It wasn’t the first time.” Liam took her hands so she didn’t feel like he was cutting off her line of questions. He wasn’t used to being open with people, but if she could do it, so could he. Well, he could try, anyway. “I’ve done things like that before. With both a man and a woman.”

“Oh.” Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. “Like, both at the same time or, you know,” her cheeks went pink.

Jaysus she was cute. So innocent. He smiled, enjoying her reactions. “Both. Together and individually. Does that shock you?”

“I don’t know,” she blinked. “So are you, what do they call it? Bisexual?”

Liam shrugged. “I don’t put a label on it. I usually say I’m a trysexual.”

Her brow furrowed.

“As in, I’ll try anything once.”

She chortled out a short laugh at that but then sobered again. “Do you like one better than the other?”

Liam traced his fingers along the back of her neck underneath her hair, liking the way she shivered at his touch.

“I’ve slept with more women than men. But I didn’t really expand me horizons until college.”

She propped her hands underneath her chin as she looked up at him. “So how do you know?”

“Know what?”

“How do you know if you’re attracted to someone? Like, what makes the difference between a guy or girl you’re just friends with and someone you want to, you know, sleep with?”

Liam laughed. “There’s no science to it. I’m either attracted to someone or not.”

She tilted her head. “So how long have you been attracted to Mack?”

Liam choked. “I’m not,” he hurried to say as soon as he could speak again. “Not to him.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “But I thought you just said—” She squinted her eyes at him. “And with how the two of you were—”

“I was just going with the situation as it presented itself.” He shook his head so violently Calla had to pull back. “But Jaysus, I’m not attracted to that wanker.”

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

Shite. Why? Did she want a repeat of what happened in the hotel room?

Liam had been doing his best to block it from his memory. When he replayed that night, he only focused on the time after he got Calla into the shower.

“I just…” she trailed off again before continuing, her eyebrows scrunched, “I think he’s really lonely. And I know what that’s like. Feeling like you’re all alone in the world.” She shook her head, her eyes going distant again.

Liam didn’t know what to say to that. Whenever he thought about Mack, it was usually just to cuss him out. In his head or out loud if the occasion warranted.

But then he focused on the rest of what she’d said. About feeling lonely. “Yeah,” he swallowed. “I know the feeling too.”

Calla’s eyebrows went up as she looked back at him. “You? But you’re always so,” she waved a hand. “You’re so good with people. Everybody loves you.”

His chest went tight. That was how she saw him? “I don’t know if I want you taking off those rose-colored glasses, beautiful.”

She scoffed at that. “Hardly. I just call it like I see it.” Then she paused, her brows lowering. “Tell me about it. How does a guy like you feel lonely?”

Liam shrugged. He wasn’t going to play the poor little rich boy card. If there was anything he’d learned the last year and a half, it was how fucking entitled he used to be. He wasn’t about to start whining about how hard he’d had it.

Calla lifted her hand to his face. “Tell me. I want to know everything about you.”

“Me da and I weren’t that close. He worked constantly. And Ma was checked out most the time. Drinking and pills. They got divorced when I was nine. The nanny raised me. She’s still the one who calls me on me birthday and Christmas.”

Calla tilted her head, her eyes going soft.

“Don’t do that.” He couldn’t help his voice going stiff. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Her eyebrows went up again.

“Like you pity me.”

Her eyebrows met her hairline. “I’m not pitying you. Believe me,” she huffed, “I know how shitty that feels. I was just thinking about you when you were a kid. I wish I could have been your friend back then.”

Liam laughed. “You would have hated me. I was a complete shite. I’m shocked Mrs. Owens put up with me as long as she did. None of the nannies before her lasted six months.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me you were the kind of kid who would snap girl’s bra straps?” Calla groaned.

Uh. So now probably wouldn’t be the time to admit that from the ages of fourteen to seventeen his opening line when he met a pretty girl was to tell them to blow him. Or the fact that, more often than not, they’d actually done it.

“What?” she asked, obviously seeing something on his face.

He shook his head, not wanting to meet her eyes but doing it anyway. “I wasn’t a nice person. For most of me life, actually, I was a complete—” bastard. He stopped just short of saying it and instead finished, “—arsehole.”

Her brow scrunched up. “So what changed?”

Liam shifted her in his lap. He’d had a hard on for most of the half hour they’d been snuggled up together, but it was quickly deflating at this conversation. “I don’t know. I guess I grew up.”

That was a copout and he knew it. But he couldn’t tell her the truth. Not if he didn’t want things to change.

Calla was the first woman who wasn’t with him just because of his money or what he could give her. Well, apart from orgasms. He hoped to give her plenty of those in the near future. But if she knew who he was, it would ruin everything before it even had the chance to really start.

Calla’s brow was still narrowed. Like she could sense there was more to the story. She didn’t press it, though. “Well, I guess I’m glad I met you now and not then.”

“Me too, baby,” he whispered, then leaned down and kissed her. “Me too.”

Those were the last words they said for a long while. Jaysus, she tasted sweet. His cock quickly re-inflated but he didn’t push for anything more than kissing. For once in his life, he wanted to do the right thing by a girl.

Which wasn’t to say when Calla finally pulled away, her pupils blown, and asked, “You wanna go upstairs?” he didn’t jump to his feet and all but drag her in the house and up to his room.

She giggled the whole way. At least until he closed the door behind them in his room and he pressed her up against it.

“Liam,” she whimpered between kisses. Fuck but he liked the sound of his name on her lips. Right then and there, he made it his mission to have her gasping it all night long.