~Savannah~

Seeing the pain on Ben’s face when he left my house is conceivably the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Every word I said to him cut me inside, and I wanted to run after him to tell him the truth, to beg him to help me.

But I couldn’t.

I can’t.

Ben can’t fix this. No one can fix this.

Except me. I just pray that when it’s all said and done, Ben can forgive me.

I turn out all of the lights on my way up to my bedroom. I don’t expect to sleep tonight, so I grab a notebook and pen and settle on the bed, ready to make several lists.

 

It’s warm today. Almost too warm, especially out here on the water. I’m wearing a super wide brimmed hat, protecting my face and shoulders from the sunshine. Daddy and I are floating lazily on the lake, our fishing poles lying on the bottom of the boat.

“Fish aren’t biting today,” Daddy says. “But that’s okay. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit on the water and enjoy the quiet.”

I nod and lean back, closing my eyes. “It’s a nice day. A bit warm.”

“You never did like the hot weather.”

I grin. “I don’t know how I could have been born in Louisiana and not like warm weather, but you’re right. I actually prefer a cold, rainy day. But it’s nice to be out here with you today.”

And then I remember. Pain slices right through me, just as bright as the day he died.

“I’ve missed you,” is all I can say. Daddy smiles softly and reaches out to pat my knee.

“I’m with you,” he says. “You can’t always see me, but I’m never too far away.”

“I’m glad you come to me in dreams,” I reply and sigh happily when the sun slips behind a cloud. “That’s better.”

“I love spending time with you, baby girl, but we have something to discuss.”

“We do?”

There’s no humor in his eyes now as he nods solemnly. “You know we do.”

Lance. The prison. The photos. It all hits me again, and I just feel ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“What, exactly, are you sorry for?”

“I’ve put the family in danger again.”

He shakes his head impatiently and takes his fishing hat off his head long enough to scratch his hair and then pushes it back on.

“For such a smart little thing, there are moments that I want to throttle you.”

“You never throttled me,” I reply. “And I’m not being dumb.”

“Savannah Jean Boudreaux, you didn’t do anything wrong. And you know it.”

“It’s happening again,” I murmur. “He’s threatening to hurt our family, all because I fell in love with Ben all over again and he and I are trying to be happy together. Lance will never sit back and let me move on from him.”

“You know what to do,” Daddy says gently. “You’ve already put the plan into motion. It’s a shame that Ben was caught in the crossfire.”

Thinking about it hurts. “I hurt him.”

“Yes. You did.”

“But he would try to fix this for me, and I don’t need him to do that.”

“No, you don’t.” He smiles now and the knot in my stomach loosens. “I’m so proud of you, Savannah. You don’t look defeated like you did before. You look good and pissed off, and that’s just how it should be.”

“I am pissed,” I reply honestly. “That actually might be the biggest understatement ever. I’m so blinded by anger. He scared me, like he did before. Maybe worse this time because he showed me the pictures of the babies.”

“He’s playing mind games with you, Van.”

“I know. It took me several hours to let the terror subside and realize that he’s just trying to scare me and bend to his will. But I’m not his wife. And even if I were, no one has the right to treat me that way.”

“There’s my girl,” he says with a smile. “You’re an amazing woman, Savannah. Ben’s a lucky man.”

“If he forgives me,” I reply and feel my eyes well with tears. “He might not.”

“You haven’t done or said anything unforgivable,” Daddy replies and pats my knee again. “You’ll work this out and be better for it.”

“You’ve always had so much more confidence in me than I have in myself,” I reply.

“Because I can see you, Daughter. I see you the way you should see yourself. And you’re beginning to.”

“I wish you hadn’t gone away,” I whisper. “Dreams aren’t enough.”

“We want it all, don’t we?” He nods and adjusts his hat again. “I’m here. And your brothers love you. You’re surrounded with people that you can lean on and ask for help when you need it.”

“None of them are my daddy.”

“True.” He smiles. “It has been the pleasure of my life to be your father. Now, you go take care of your business.”

“Will I see you again?”

“I’ll come visit now and again.” He picks up his pole. “Let’s get us some dinner.”

 

The sun is already up and shining in my bedroom when I waken. I didn’t think I’d sleep at all, yet it seems that I slept for about nine hours, which is good because I’m going to need the rest.

It’s going to be a busy day.

***

“Good morning,” Declan says as he pulls his front door open. “You could have called to let me know you were on your way over. I would have made breakfast.”

“Oh, I’m not hungry,” I reply. I can’t call because my phone is tapped. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” He backs up so I can come into the house and closes the door behind me. “Van’s here!” he yells out to Callie.

“I hope I didn’t wake you guys up.”

“We didn’t work last night,” he replies as he leads me back to the kitchen where Callie is making a cup of coffee.

“Hi, Van,” she says with a smile.

“Hey.” I love Callie. She’s perfect for my brother. But right now, I need to talk to just him. I glance over at Declan and he immediately knows.

“Hey, Cal, can you give us a few minutes?”

“Sure.” She finishes pouring the cream in her coffee and kisses Declan as she walks out of the room. “I’ll be upstairs.”

“Thank you,” Dec says, watching me closely. “What’s going on?”

“Why do you think something’s going on?” I ask, evading the question. “I could use a cup of coffee.”

“In a minute. First, tell me what’s on your mind.”

I don’t want to tell him. I probably shouldn’t have come here, but I needed to see my twin brother. “Well, I broke it off with Ben.”

He stares at me for several long seconds as if I just told him that I sold my share of the company. “Why?”

I shrug. It’s killing me to lie, but I have to keep up the façade. If I don’t, Larry could hurt someone.

“It was always a bad idea,” I say at last. “It was best to end it before it made things really bad between our families.”

“Bullshit,” he says and crosses his arms over his chest. “Try again.”

“I’m serious,” I reply. “Not to mention, things were moving really fast. Too fast. We want different things.”

“Still not buying it.”

“Do or don’t, it doesn’t change it. Ben isn’t the one for me.”

I pull a piece of paper out of my handbag and pass it to him, holding my finger over my lips so he doesn’t read it aloud.

I have this under control. Trust me. Please don’t interfere.

His eyes whip up to meet mine and he cocks his head to the side, scowling. I shake my head, keeping him from speaking.

“So, I think I’m going to take a day or two off of work and get my shit together. If you need me, text me, okay?”

“Okay.” He’s searching my face, worry written all over him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m actually doing just fine. I’m going to be great.”

That, at least, is true.

“Call me if you need me,” he says, and I can hear what he’s not saying. Call me when you can tell me what the fuck is going on.

“I will.” I give him a brief hug and walk to the front door. “Tell Callie I said I’ll see her soon.”

And with that, I shut the door behind me. I need my family to know that something is up with me, but I can’t tell them exactly what. Not yet. Not until I have this all figured out, and I know without a doubt that no one can hurt them. Declan is the one who can read me the best, and I can trust that he’ll wait for me to reach out to him. The others would push me aside and try to slay my dragons for me.

I don’t need that.

I toss my cell phone in my handbag, fully intending to ignore it for the next few days, and pull out a throw away phone that I bought this morning. I pull away from Dec’s house and keep an eye on my rear view.

Someone is following me. They followed me here from my house. I don’t know how much they can hear, or what they might have wire tapped, so I bought this disposable phone.

I dial the number that I haven’t had to call in almost two years, but one I’ll never forget.

“New Orleans Police Department, Lieutenant Jacobs’ office.”

“Hi, this is Savannah Boudreaux. I need to talk to Lieutenant Jacobs, please.”

“Savannah, we haven’t heard from you in a while,” Lieutenant Jacobs’ assistant says. “I’ll put you right through.”

“Thank you.”

The line is silent and then he’s on the line, his voice low and firm. “Savannah?”

“Hi. I need your help.”

“How quickly can you be here?”

“I’m headed there now. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

He ends the call and I take the long way to the precinct. I get on the freeway and speed up, weaving in and out of every lane to lose the tail. To my utter shock, it works, and I take the next exit, then double back to the police department. I park and hurry inside, straight to Lieutenant Jacobs’ office.

“It’s been a minute since I’ve seen you,” he says as he holds his door open for me. “No calls while I’m in this meeting.”

“Of course,” his assistant replies.

He closes the door behind us, and rather than sit behind his desk, he sits in the chair next to mine. He was always good at making me feel comfortable with him, and aside from my dad, there’s no one else I’d trust more to help me. Lieutenant Jacobs has to be nearing sixty. He has salt and pepper hair and brown eyes that have seen more than their share of horrible things.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“A lot. You might want to record this.”

His eyes narrow, but he reaches for his phone, opens the app, and sets in on the desk in front of me. “Okay, we’re ready.”

I nod, take a deep breath, and spend the next hour telling him everything that’s happened over the past few weeks, beginning with Ben and I deciding to start seeing each other. I recount Ben being poisoned, the car accident, Ben getting beat up, and every other thing I can think of, including the accidental mix up in Ben’s mom’s medication.

Then I show him all of the photos.

He doesn’t say anything until I’m done with the story.

“Larry took you, against your will, to the prison?”

“Yes.”

He nods and then sits back and looks over at me with hard brown eyes.

Cop eyes.

“That mother fucker.” I blink rapidly, surprised. “I knew we should have had a restraining order against Larry as well.”

“That’s on me,” I reply. “I truly believed he was different. I didn’t realize that he and Lance were in cahoots.”

He blows out a gusty breath and asks me to go through it all again. It’s an exhausting afternoon.

“Can you help me?” I ask.

“Darlin’, not only will I help you, but we’re going to make sure that they can never try to hurt you ever again. I thought we accomplished that before, but we didn’t wrap it up tight enough. You have my sincere apology for that.”

“He’s evil,” I reply with a shrug. “No normal person would ever dream that he’d come up with half of what he’s done. Am I going to have to go back there? Wear a wire, or something?”

The thought of that alone makes me break out into a sweat.

“No.” He smiles kindly. “I would like for you to spend the next forty-eight hours doing what you’re doing. Play along while I get my team in place to take them down. There will be no mistakes made, no reason for a lawyer to come back with a hole in our investigation. These men are all going away for the rest of their lives. Can you do that?”

I cringe, but nod. “I’m hurting my family by lying to them, but I didn’t see another way. He threatened them, and I know him. He would follow through. So I thought that if it looks like I’m playing along, he wouldn’t hurt anyone before I could come to you.”

“That’s absolutely the best thing you could have done,” he replies. “I’m going to get working on this right now. I don’t want to call your cell phone if I have news.”

“I bought a disposable.” I rattle off the number for him.

“You’re a smart woman.”

“I’ve learned a lot in the past two years,” I reply with a sad grin. “I can protect myself.”

“Good. I’ll call you the second we have them in custody.”

I nod and stand to leave, then turn and give him a hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re going to be just fine.”

I nod and walk out, confident that Lieutenant Jacobs will take care of Larry, Lance, and whomever they’ve hired to help them take my family apart.

He made a big mistake in thinking that I’d roll over and take his shit.

***

“No one can reach you on your cell phone,” Beau says the next afternoon as he walks into my office. “I’ve received calls from Mom, Gabby, and Mallory today. Actually Mallory called three times.”

I do my best to keep my face neutral, hating myself for lying. “I must have forgot it at home. Sorry they’re bugging you.”

“Also, you’re acting weird.”

I frown and look around my office. “I’m working. How is that acting weird?”

“I don’t know.” He leans against my desk and taps his lips with his forefinger. “But when you ignore Mal, I get to hear about it. She thinks something’s up.”

“Well, this is one time that she’s wrong.”

“She’s wrong once in a while,” he concedes and then hurries to say, “but don’t tell her I said that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

I seem to be keeping a lot of secrets lately.

“Seriously, is everything okay? I heard about Ben.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t bully your way into my office to grill me about that.”

“I rarely bully,” he says. “And I thought you might need a little space.”

“You’re right. I guess I’ve been processing a lot the past few days. That’s probably why I forgot my phone this morning. If you get any more calls, just tell them that I’ll call them back later.”

“Mama wants you to come over for dinner tonight.”

I sigh and push my fingers through my hair. That’s a no-go. I can’t lie to my mama.

“Do you mind telling her that I just don’t feel up to it?”

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asks sarcastically, making me smile. “Change the oil in your car? Order in take out? Pick up your dry cleaning?”

“Yes to all of that,” I reply with a sweet smile. “Thanks for being awesome.”

“Now you’re trying to soften me up for something,” he replies.

“You always assume the worst.”

“Of course I do,” he says. “I run a business.”

“We run a business.”

“Well, you help sometimes, but mostly we gave you this big office to make you feel important.”

I laugh now, a full out belly laugh and it feels fantastic. “Oh good, I can just stop reading all of these boring reports and instead have them all sent to you.”

“On second thought,” he says, “maybe you do work more than a little bit.”

“Maybe I do,” I agree. “I needed that laugh.”

“I know.” His face sobers now. “If you think that you’re fooling anyone, you’re wrong. We love you, and we can see that something isn’t right.”

“Beau—”

“Let me finish. When you decide to let us in, we’re here. All of us.”

“I know. But really, I’m fine.”

“You’re better than fine, Savannah. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

I simply sit back and stare at my brother in utter shock. “I won’t tell Mallory that either.”

“She knows,” he replies with a smile. “And she gets it. You are pretty great, and that’s why we all start to worry when it looks like something might be wrong. Because of all the people in the world, you deserve a break.”

“Beau, I love you. And I have everything under control.”

That, at least, isn’t a lie.

“Okay then, that’s all I needed to know.”

He kisses the top of my head and then walks out of my office, closing the door behind him.

Please call me, Lieutenant Jacobs. I need this shit show to end.