Chapter Twenty-eight

Even encased in the most spectacular hug she’d ever experienced, Lacie could feel Simon’s jaw working on top of her head. He was doing that thing he did when he wanted to say something but couldn’t get the words out. She reluctantly pulled back from his embrace just enough to look into his eyes—startlingly gray, darkened pupils, with streaks of yellow marking them beautifully.

“Yes, I heard you say you loved me. That didn’t go unnoticed. But I’m addressing one thing at a time here. I don’t want to get distracted.” She answered his unasked question, and the strange look that filled his face almost made her laugh. He looked simultaneously relieved and frightened, his eyes widening while his jaw tensed.

“Then I need a drink,” he muttered as he released her and walked slowly into the living room where the bar was. His head down, he was clearly gathering his thoughts.

He poured a couple of fingers of scotch and held it out to her, but she shook her head. She didn’t need the liquid courage like he did. He dumped it down his throat, and Lacie felt a bit discouraged at the gesture. It was expensive scotch and he hadn’t even tasted it, just grimaced at the burn while he poured himself another.

Was this story that bad? She sat on the couch and watched him compose himself before he joined her on the other end, as if putting as much distance between them as possible. His hands cradled the drink, finally treating it like the precious commodity it was. Lacie wondered if his scotch was more important than she was, but the thought didn’t linger as he finally opened his mouth to speak.

Words actually came out this time.

“She’s the reason for everything,” he spoke with a guttural sigh, his voice rough with anger. “I’ve made rules for myself, my business. Nobody was supposed to ever get involved romantically with clients on the cases.” He spun his glass around, watching the liquor swirl. His eyes never met Lacie’s. “But they all did. And it always pissed me off. Especially when Quinten did it because he knew. But they did it, and then I did it, and I hated myself. Because she almost ruined me. Tried to kill me.”

He swallowed half of what was left in his glass and continued his swirling. “I used to be a cop in San Antonio, working the Vice taskforce undercover. Tanya was an informant, but she was in danger. Her boyfriend was the head of the San Antonio arm of the cartel I was undercover with, but they made me, and I didn’t realize it at first. When she came to tell me my cover was blown and her boyfriend had beat the shit out of her because he thought we were fucking, I made a plan to keep her safe. Initially, that’s just what it was. She was supposed to stay with me and make nice with the boyfriend so she could feed me information. But it was a ruse. Sure, they’d made me, but the bruises were faked. She lived with me while going home to his bed and feeding him information. What she told me was false.” He took another sip, leaving a tiny amount in his glass. His voice was automated, like a recording, just getting it out because she had told him to.

“Sure, she told me enough true stuff to make it seem legit, but the important stuff … she gave just enough false info so her boyfriend would be clear.” His haunted eyes drifted over to her. “I thought I loved her. I was protecting her. She depended on me for her safety, and that went straight to my head. And the sex was good, so I figured it was love. I would do anything for her.” He grimaced as if he’d just taken a drink, but he had only relived a memory. “I took her to Corpus on the day we were supposed to bust him for good. I wanted her out of town, safe. I’d been taken out of the rotation since they knew my face, and I figured since I had given them the intel for the bust, we’d be good to go.” He finished his drink. “I proposed. She said yes. Then we went back to the hotel and she tried to kill me while we were making love. I shot her.” He dropped his face in his hands as he fell apart. “Her face. I’ll never forget it. The life leaving her eyes is what I sometimes remember at night. The love that I’d always assumed was mine had belonged to a drug lord. She’d used me, controlled me, and then tried to dispose of me. Four men died that night because I was in love.” His face, which was now looking at her, twisted into a sneer. “So that’s why I try to maintain control in every situation. Because of the first time I lost it.”

“The first time?” Lacie wanted to hold him, to scoot over on the couch and take him in her arms, because right now he looked so lost in his thoughts. She wanted Simon to see his reality. She wanted him to see her.

He shrugged. “Well, I never had it growing up. That was Dad’s thing.” He waved his glass around absently, coming out of his fog. “But in my adult life, I became a cop to take control of my life, and Tanya made me lose it. I swore it would never happen again.” His neck swiveled around until he pinned her with his gaze. “Until you.”

It was then that she saw him—the way he really was—the Simon he was when no one else was watching.

Lacie looked around the house and saw his father and mother there. His father was dictating things, while his mother made it all look pretty, and Simon followed orders—until he couldn’t anymore. She saw a young Simon, fresh out of the police academy, making his own way in the world, taking control and leaving all this other stuff behind. His one homage to his upbringing being his penchant for suits and expensive scotch. While the rest of the world moved ahead technology-wise, he still carried around a briefcase full of papers instead of a tablet or some other electronic device with all the information on it. She saw the man who insisted on self-discipline and restraint in all things as a defense mechanism for his mistakes made in the past. She saw the man who refused to see what was in front of him until it slapped him across the face.

Her heart broke for him. She’d never felt the betrayal he described. Lacie couldn’t imagine what it must be like to put a bullet in anybody, much less her lover. She couldn’t stand Trent but didn’t want to see the life drain out of his eyes. Then again, he hadn’t tried to kill her. And she didn’t love him.

Not like she loved Simon.

Lacie couldn’t take it anymore. She scooted over to him and awkwardly wrapped her arms around him as he still faced the center of the living room. But he shifted and brought his arms around her, too, so they were both twisted into some weird comfort pretzel.

“I love you, Simon.” I see you. I hear you. I feel you. She started stroking him, his hard muscles flexing under his shirt as he did the same. She was comfortable now; everything was clicking into place.

“I want you to live here. So I can come home to you every day.” The words were murmured into her hair as his head fell to her neck. One hand twisted in her braid, sending tingles through her body.

Lacie stiffened, the conversation turning into uncharted territory. She had planned to tell him she loved him after he opened up to her about his feelings, but plans for the future like this were still a ways off. The scent of scotch on his breath permeated her senses and made her want to give in to him. She couldn’t speak because he didn’t seem to be finished.

“I want you, Lacie, but I want more with you than anybody else.” His lips moved against her shoulder, where his hot breath fanned across her skin. “All I’ve done is take from you.” His tongue slipped out and stroked her collarbone, and his fingers slid under her shirt. “I want to give myself to you like you’ve done with me.”

She didn’t feel his breath anymore, and Lacie realized she’d closed her eyes to his touch and lips. She opened them and saw his stare, beseeching her.

For what?

“I’m yours, Simon. I have been since you first walked into my classroom and gave me that look.”

He smiled initially, but it faded as his eyebrows rose in a question. “What look?”

“Like you wanted to eat me up. Sort of like the look you’re giving me now.” He chuckled at her words, and she couldn’t hold back the giggle that rose in her chest.

Before she could say a word, he rose and lifted her over his shoulder, striding with purposeful steps to his bedroom.

Simon was determined to do this right. This was no longer about a mutually beneficial relationship. This was about his intentions with her future, his desire to love her and make Lacie happy forever.

Forever.

He let her down slowly once they got to his bedroom. She slid down his body, her arms wrapping around her neck and tugging him down for a kiss.

It was a kiss they both desperately needed but he wasn’t ready to give yet. When he kissed her, she would have zero doubts what it meant.

Just her nearness had him aching for her, unpromised desires filling him. “Tell me what you want, Lacie. Let me be what you want.”

She looked up at him. “I just want you, Simon. I love you.” She said the words like they were the silliest thing in the world, but they couldn’t have made him happier. He clasped her face in his hands, rubbing his thumb on her lip. He wanted to feel the words.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.” Lacie snaked out her tongue to lick his thumb, and he lowered his face to hers with a groan, inhaling the air she breathed. They shared the same space, as if trying to share skin.

“I love you too.” Simon touched his lips to hers, just a brush of skin, her taste merging with her scent to explode inside him in a fiery ball of need. A need he would absolutely control because this was about Lacie.

As she opened to him, chasing his lips with hers, he lost himself. He grasped her face tighter between his hands and angled it so he could dive in deeper. Suddenly, it went from a gentle, exploratory kiss to one so encompassing, he got lost.

Lacie rocked against him, her small whimpers reminding him of her words. I love you. I’ve been yours. When she wrapped her arms around his waist, gripping his shirt tightly, he felt her hands telling him what she wanted. Her elegant fingers were grabbing at the material with an urgency that echoed her whimpers.

“I’ll take care of you, baby.” The murmured words left his mouth before he realized what he meant. But he did mean them. He was ready to take care of her, not just protect her.

He stood back and removed her necklace, placing it gently on the nightstand. He was going to do this slowly so she understood his intentions. He may not be able to articulate clearly what he meant with words, but he damn sure could control himself enough to do it with actions.

Her shirt was next, as he caressed her curves, watching her reactions. She gasped a little as his knuckles rasped against the smooth tops of her breasts, but he just continued down to her waist, where the elastic of her skirt allowed for easy stripping.

Simon ran his hands over her hips, taking her panties with them as he dropped to his knees, willing to do anything to worship this woman. Lacie had been through so much but still wanted him. He would make sure she never regretted it.

Gripping her legs, his tongue delved into the sweet juncture of her thighs. She gripped his hair and moaned softly, giving Simon a feeling of rightness. This was where he was meant to be. Loving her. Cherishing her. Pleasuring her.

Her thighs quaked around him as his tongue explored the playground between Lacie’s legs. The tiny bundle of nerves, her tremoring insides, it was all hot and wet, and he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to spread her wide and feast for days, but this wasn’t about him.

Her hips ground against his mouth while she held his head in place and took her pleasure. It was amazing, giving up the control he’d constantly sought. He was giving it up simply for her pleasure, but it was an expression of love, and as he stiffened his tongue and allowed her to ride it, he felt her release around him as she shook and writhed against him.

Her climax was sweet, and he licked his lips as he stood, taking her into his arms once again. The emotion in her eyes was intense and mirrored his own—love mingling with awe.

Lacie spun in his arms, still grinding against him, and he continued his lack of control with her. Slipping off her bra strap, he played with her nipples, listening to her hiss with pleasure as he kissed her shoulder. One hand moved to her neck, while the other continued playing with her nipple. He squeezed gently, but it was an illustration only. He wanted to show her he was giving up control, so after his brief squeeze, he let go. His hands moved to her hips, pulling her against him to let her know how aroused he was. His erection was a force to be reckoned with, mindlessly needing to be sheathed inside her.

Lacie fell on the bed, rolling over with a come-hither look on her face that Simon was powerless to ignore. He started shucking clothes—his vest, his shirt, his shoes, pants—until he was naked and falling into bed next to her, tugging her to him for a kiss.

But she wasn’t having it. “More, Simon.”

He looked at her, face filled with desire and the need for a good fucking. But he would not be providing that tonight. No, tonight he was loving her.

Reaching for a condom, he slipped it on, raising over Lacie. He turned her face up to his with a hand on her neck. “Look at me. I want you to know who’s loving you.” And he kissed her again as he slid inside with a groan.

This time was different than the other night they’d had sex. For one thing, he knew her body now. The night a couple of weeks ago had been exploratory fucking, for mutual pleasure, but he’d never given up control. Now, he could feel her hands roaming his back, clutching his ass, as he slowly pistoned in and out of her warmth.

They surged together, and Simon found the words he’d meant to say. Knowing this wasn’t the time, he offered her what he could instead.

“Get on top. You’re in control.”

She smiled at him, and as they rolled, she murmured something that was lost to him as he relished the slide of her skin against his. Lacie straddled Simon and slid over him, teasing him by rubbing herself all over his cock. Simon’s eyeballs rolled into the back of his head, and he groaned at the sensations.

She was so wet and hot when she slid onto him, spearing herself with his length, he could only grab onto her hips with a harsh, breathless groan.

Lacie swiveled her hips around, and Simon growled at her, needing her to do more but not saying anything because it was her show. The restraint built up inside him threatened to explode in a feral fucking, but he grabbed her tits instead and twisted her nipples, trying to distract himself.

It didn’t work. Lacie found her rhythm and managed to blow his mind, using her inner muscles to clench him with each upstroke so it felt like a vacuum sucking him inside her.

“God,” he managed to get out between clenched teeth. “You are fucking amazing.”

She grinned down at him, a wicked smile. “You are amazing at fucking.”

He froze, grabbing her hips to still her. “Did you just curse at me?”

“You bring it out in me.”

That was a shame. He liked that she didn’t curse that much. It reminded him of how he could be better. He would teach her a lesson later. He sat up and captured a nipple in his mouth, tugging hard as he let go of her hips and let her move again.

She cried out and clenched around him, even as she pulled his hair in her pleasure. Lacie went limp, but he wasn’t done yet.

Gripping her hips, Simon whispered, “Brace your hand next to my head and touch your clit. You’ve got one more in you.” There was a certain pleasure in giving up control, not holding her hands while they made love. He wasn’t afraid of her right now; he was simply focused on her pleasure. Having her on top of him took away complete control, but as her body trembled over his, he knew this was it.

He pistoned himself inside her, thrusting up as hard as he could to hit the spot that made her give out a short, grunting moan each time. Lacie was rubbing furious circles around her clit, and Simon managed to dip his head enough to clasp a nipple between his teeth.

He felt the tell-tale tingle at the base of his spine as it spread, and this time, when her pussy clenched around him, he saw stars as he came with a rushing roar.

Lacie was asleep when she felt the soft, warm tongue lapping at her center. She opened her eyes to find Simon between her legs, hands clamped around her thighs, eating her like the most decadent dessert. His flat tongue rasped against her clit, his unshaven face tickled her thighs, his teeth nipped at everything. He was a man on a mission, and the mission was her.

She moaned as she writhed, grasping at the sheets. It happened so fast, with little lead-up, that she came breathlessly on a harsh keening cry that left her a trembling mess. When she was finished, Simon kissed her thigh and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over to kiss her good morning.

“A girl could get used to waking up like that.”

A foreign twinkle in his eyes matched the devilish grin on his face, and Lacie’s breath hitched. “I plan on you getting used to it.” He winked before getting up and striding over to his armoire for clothes.

That brought back last night and everything they’d talked about. Lacie’s heart swelled as she heard Simon’s proclamations again inside her head, his profession of love, his promises to her, but most of all, his desire to not take and to give more. The fact he hadn’t held her hands and let her control most of the lovemaking had been huge.

He sauntered to the bathroom, and she heard the shower running. Sighing, she laid back on the pillows and stared at the door to the bathroom.

Simon holding her hands during their first time made so much sense. He had to make sure she didn’t try to kill him. Not that she would have, and she thought some part of him knew that, but how hard would it be to go through life thinking you couldn’t connect with a person on that sort of level without worrying about your life?

Poor Simon. For someone who’d grown up rich and privileged, he certainly had gone through some horrific stuff in his life. But she was here now, and Lacie would do whatever was necessary to make sure he was happy.

Wait. Really?

Was she just totally ready to commit to him like this? Like he had committed to her?

She loved him so much it hurt. The thought of not committing to him, dating other people, and living her life without him just seemed wrong.

Yeah, she was committed to him. That thought eased the sudden tension that had flared in her mind when she’d questioned herself. But was she ready to move in with him?

Lacie had really liked her home two months ago. A small house she’d bought herself, it had been her sanctuary decorated in bright colors that made her happy. Then, the attacks began, and she’d found all the surveillance equipment and learned she no longer had any semblance of privacy. Her heart constricted, and she knew it would never again be a place of peace for her.

Clearly, there was a discussion to be had this morning.

As if on cue, Simon came out of the bathroom, wet from his shower, towel slung low around his hips. Lacie put her hands behind her head and enjoyed the view. Dark hair, mussed and dripping, framed a chiseled face with a strong nose and full lips. He had shaved in the shower and his face was smooth, giving him a relaxed, carefree look. And his muscles … Her eyes drifted lower, and she knew desire was flashing in her gaze. Lean muscle, strong shoulders, ripped abs, those lines on his hips that led down into his towel where she knew only pleasure lay.

“What’s got you looking like that?” Simon had an amused glint in his eye and a quirked eyebrow. He was almost smirking, such an odd look for him.

“Uh, I was thinking about some of the stuff you said last night. About me moving in with you.” Lacie managed to cover her lusty thoughts and obvious ogling with what she’d been thinking about before he’d emerged all wet and sexy looking. She sat up on the bed, pulling the sheet around her boobs.

Simon sat on the edge of the bed and reached over to tug the sheet down, exposing her to the cool air in the room, which, of course, made her nipples pucker and poke out like pencil erasers. She would have complained, but his reaction made it worth it.

His eyes darkened as he swept his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. When his eyes peeled themselves away from her breasts, he looked her straight in the eye.

“You want to?”

The question suddenly wasn’t clear. Did she want to move in with him? Or did she want him to have sex with her again? With him looking at her like that, the answers were both unequivocally resounding yeses.

“Move in?”

He nodded, his eyes going back to her boobs as his finger touched her collarbone, making a slow trail down to her breast, circling her nipple.

“Can I keep my job? You’re not going to, like, chain me to the bed or lock me away or anything, right?”

“Right,” he muttered as he dipped his head and closed his lips over her nipple. Gah. Was he really going to do this while they had a serious conversation?

“Would we live here? I thought you and your brother and sister were supposed to sell the house?” Hadn’t he said that? Oh God, the way he was sucking on her nipple was making it really hard to talk.

Simon relaxed his body, shifting so he covered her lower half and was clearly more comfortably situated on top of her. He spent some time worshiping her breasts, sucking on one, his hand tweaking the other one. It was scrambling her brains, sending shockwaves of sensations straight to her already satiated, yet suddenly greedy core.

“We can live wherever you want, baby. I just want to wake up to you every fucking day.” He shifted again, kissing a trail up her body as he reached to the bedside table for a condom. “I want to wake up with my skin sticking to yours and your hair in my nose. I want to eat with you, and eat you, every night.” He slowly pushed himself inside her, and she groaned, almost not hearing his words. “I love you, Lace.” Another thrust. “We can live wherever, you can work wherever, nothing changes, except you’re mine, and I’m not letting you go.”

His thrusts were long and slow and deep. Lacie honestly felt like he was splitting her open. She felt herself climbing, that precious feeling of agonizing pleasure getting more and more intense with each rock of his body against hers. He was stroking places so far inside her Lacie didn’t know she could feel there, and she honestly didn’t know how she would survive Simon Pierce, but she knew she was all in.

“So will you?” He kissed her without letting her answer, another push inside her, filling her, making her breath leave on a rasping gasp. “Move in with me?”

Lacie bit her lip against the sensations while she gathered enough wherewithal to answer. “Yes. I’m yours. I’m here for you.”